To Serve His Music
by BrackCatOden
Summary: This story is seen through the eyes of a girlwoman brought into the Phantom’s world to serve him and be his forever.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the Phantom. **

**But with that said, this is a work created solely be me and I would appreciate any reviews and comments you may have. **

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**To Serve His Music**

**He had brought me here telling me that I was going to serve him.**

**That I was to call him Angel and that together we were going to make the most beautiful music.**

**That had been 5 years ago.**

**I have since learned to fear him. **

**I learned early on that there was no place to hide in these catacombs he calls home.**

**I paid dearly for that mistake. I never wish to visit that room again.**

**He will be calling for me soon. **

**I must make sure my appearance is flawless. That my brown curls hang properly down my back. That the gown he has chosen for me to wear tonight shows off my breasts properly. At least I don't have to wear a corset any longer.**

**I must remember to hold myself up and not slouch no matter how bad it hurts.**

**I must make sure my bruises are covered or at least well hidden by covering them with make-up. **

**I hate this place. I hate his voice and the way it makes me feel.**

**I hate his touch. His hands are cold as they caress my skin. But I must not let it show.**

**His mask used to frighten me but after I saw what it covered, I am glad he wears it.**

**His smell used to sicken me but I have grown used too it.**

**When he presses his lips to mine I must fight to keep the bile from rising in my throat.**

**I miss the sun. Does it still shine in the heavens? **

**My skin is now as pale as his. I have become a ghost.**

**If only I could dare to pick up the knife and end it. **

**But no, I would be damning myself to an even worse hell.**

**He's calling for me now and I must go.**

**I have become so heavy it is hard stand.**

**I touch my stomach where his seed grows within me.**

**Maybe I will be granted my release when the child is born.**

**I do not wish for this child to be raised here in this hell by that monster.**

**The knife glistens so beautifully in the candlelight.**

**I must hurry now or face his wrath.**

**Looking at my reflection in the mirror I hardly recognize the person looking back at me.**

**I must remember to breath.**

**I must remember to smile.**

**I pull the curtain back and step onto the landing.**

**He is watching me now. He golden eyes measure my every movement, looking for a flaw.**

**I descend the stairs slowly as he likes for me to do. **

**The pain in my back is searing me now.**

**I must remain standing.**

**I must not faultier in my steps.**

**He is reaching for me now.**

**I must place my hand in his.**

**He is leading me to the organ.**

**He will expect me to sing.**

**The pain is increasing and my stomach is starting to cramp.**

**I am falling now.**

**I try not too, but it is no use the pain is too intense.**

**He catches me.**

**He is carrying me to his bed.**

**I feel the fluid seeping from between my legs.**

**He places me in his coffin. **

**The child is coming now.**

**I try not to scream.**

**He kneels beside me.**

**Is that compassion I see in his eyes?**

**He brushes the hair from me face. **

**He is pushing my skirts up now and spreading my legs.**

**I push as hard as I can.**

**Over and over again I push until the baby is expelled from my body.**

**Sweet covers my body.**

**I am so tired.**

**I look up to see him holding the child.**

**I want to ask.**

**I want too see it.**

**I reach out and he places my daughter into my arms.**

**Tears run from eyes.**

**I kiss her perfect face.**

**He turns to leave.**

**I hear him say "Her name is Harmony." **

"**I told you we would make beautiful music together."**

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**Chapter 1:**

**And so it Begins…**

**I remember the day he found me.**

**The papers had said "Phantom No More!"**

**A body had been found and a man had identified it as the Phantom.**

**People had rejoiced and life was moving on.**

**I was living on the street then. I had no home to call my own.**

**My parents had been killed in a fire. I was there only child and had family to turn too.**

**I had found a job selling flowers outside of the Opera House. The wealthy men would buy my flowers for their ladies and for the Diva.**

**There was also a man who wore a hood and smelled of death who would buy my flowers. He would choose only the most blood red roses and he paid me well for them. **

**Then that fateful night came. I was closing my cart and preparing to return it to Monsieur James (The man I worked for.) when He appeared. I thought at first he was there to buy more roses, but I was wrong.**

**I saw his eyes flash in the moonlight. I tried to run. I knew my life was in danger, but I was no match for his speed and strength.**

**He grabbed and dragged me to a grate in the wall of the Opera House.**

**His hand covered my face with a cloth and I fell asleep.**

**When I awoke I was laying in a strange room shrouded with black curtains.**

**When I started to rise I realized had been lying in a coffin and I screamed.**

**My voice echoed off the walls and terror filled my soul. **

**Was I dead? **

**Suddenly He appeared before me. He no longer wore the hood, but had instead had replaced it with a mask that cover most of his face. **

**I cowered back against the cushions that lined the coffin. I wanted to beg for my life, but no words would cross my lips. My throat had tightened and I felt like I was suffocating. The world was turning to darkness and I was being drug down with it.**

**When next I awoke he was kneeling over me. His golden eyes seemed to look right through me as though he were seeing someone else.**

"**Hush my Angel your teacher is with you." He voice washed over me.**

**But who was this Angel he spoke of? And I had no teacher.**

**I tried to speak, but he covered my lips with his fingers.**

**His flesh was so cold it has like ice touching me. I shivered.**

"**I knew you would return to me" He said. "I knew you could never truly abandon your Angel of Music."**

"**I do not know of what you speak Monsieur." I whispered.**

"**Do not play these games with me!" He yelled and his eyes flashed with rage. His hand went to the back of my head and he pulled my hair. My head was tipped back so far I thought it was going too be ripped from my shoulders.**

**He brought his other hand to my throat where he gently caressed me.**

"**Your voice is so lovely when you sing… You will sing for me again!"**

**He released me and I fell back into the coffin. My whole body was shaking and tears ran from my eyes.**

**He didn't seem to notice. He had turned his attention to a gown that hung in the corner of the room.**

"**I have made you a new one, more beautiful than the last." He said as he touched the gown.**

"**Get dressed and we will continue where we left off."**

**With that said he left the room closing the curtain behind him.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter: 2**

**I scrambled out of the coffin and started looking for a way out, but there was no other exit. **

**I could hear music being played. **

**Who was this man and who did he think I was? **

**My head hurt from where he had pulled my hair.**

**Should I do as he asked? **

**The gown was very beautiful: It was ivory and pearls had been sewn into the skirts and bodice. **

**What would it hurt if I just tried it on?**

**I looked back at the curtain that covered the entrance. **

**I could still hear the music and thought as long as I can hear it he won't be coming.**

**I quickly removed my clothes and reached to pick up the undergarments that lay next to the gown on a table.**

**I slid them on and they felt so soft against my skin.**

**I had trouble with the corset but finally managed to get it laced up and tied.**

**My hands shook as I took the gown off the hanger and placed it over my head.**

**It fit as though it had been made for me.**

**I stood before mirror looking at myself. My face was filthy and tear stained. My hair was a mess lying in tight brown tangles down my back. **

**But the dress looked wonderful on me. My full breasts heaved from the top when ever I took a breath. Lace cascaded from the sleeves. The top skirt opened to reveal more lace hidden beneath. I felt like a princess.**

**I had not heard he enter, but when I looked up I saw his reflection in the mirror.**

**He was standing behind me. He looked as if he were dreaming. Then he said: "'Oh Christine…" **

**I jumped and made a run for the door, but he caught me easily around my waist and crushed me to his chest.**

**I tried to push away from him. I fought him with all my strength. My hand caught the edge of his mask and I ripped it from his face.**

**I froze as the horror of what it hide came before my eyes.**

**He threw me across the room; I hit the wall and slid to the floor.**

**He came and towered over me shouting "Why do you insist on removing my mask! Do you like what you see!? Do you crave the monster so badly that you must unleash him at every turn!?"**

**Turning from me he picked up the mask and put it back on his face.**

**Then coming back over to where I cowered on the floor he said "Christine you must learn not to upset me."**

**He lifted his hand and I was afraid he was going to strike me so I covered my head with my arms. I plead for his forgiveness "Please Master I did not mean too upset you. Please forgive me."**

**Then I felt his icy cold fingers touch my forearm and then slid up and took my hand in his.**

"**You once called me Angel. Come too your Angel now." He said as he lifted me to my feet.**

**He led me from the room. **

**As I entered the main room of his home my eyes beheld his massive organ sitting in the center. Candlelight illuminated everything, there were drawings of a woman hang on the walls. **

**She was very beautiful. **

**Instead of leading me to the organ as I thought he would, he turned and led me to a couch.**

**Kneeling before me he took my left hand in his. "I have kept this for you and now that you've returned to me it is yours again."**

**As he said those words he slipped a ring onto my finger.**

**He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it ever so gently.**

**Every fiber in my being wanted to pull away from him.**

**I wanted to scream, to run away, but I was trapped and I knew it.**

**As he looked up at me he said "My living bride has finally returned to her husband."**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

**Suddenly standing he said "You must be hungry. I will fetch you some food."**

**I looked at the ring on my finger.**

**I tried to pull it off.**

**It felt as if it were burning my flesh.**

"**I see you have noticed the changes I have made. I assure you will not leave your finger again."**

"**Now eat." He sat a tray of bread, cheese and fruit on the table. **

**Picking up a plate he served me.**

**I had to admit, I was hungry. **

**I took the plate from him and began to eat.**

**Then he brought forth a bottle of wine. **

"**To toast our union" He said as he poured.**

**Handing me a glass he said "For my Angel. We will make beautiful music together."**

**I held the glass in my hand and just stared at it. **

**I was still trying to sort it all out in my mind. **

**His bride, the ring, our union, I didn't want to be united to this man. **

**I wanted run, to escape this nightmare.**

**Please all that it is good in heaven let me wake up.**

"**Is there something wrong with the wine?"**

**His voice brought me back to reality and I jumped almost spilling the wine.**

"**No." I whispered.**

"**Then drink. Drink to our happy union." He said as he looked down at me. His hand caressed the side of my neck momentarily. **

**I hadn't even noticed that he had moved so close to me.**

**I raised the glass to my lips and took a small sip hoping that would satisfy him.**

**He had been watching me intently and saw what I had done.**

"**You did not even taste the wine." He said sternly.**

**So I put the glass back to my lips and took a larger drink. That seemed to satisfy him and took the glass from me.**

**But to my horror he came to sit next to me on the couch.**

**He touched my face with icy fingers and said "Your beauty still beguiles me."**

**Then he took my hands in his and brought them to his lips. **

**I tried to pull away from him, but the look in his eyes made my blood run cold.**

**I saw such hunger there. A hunger that frightened me more than anything else that had happened before.**

"**Oh Christine, I have missed you so terribly. My heart was broken and bled for you, but now I have you back and I will never let you go again."**

**He released my hands and before I could move he placed his hand behind my head and was pulling my face toward his.**

**I put my hands against his chest and tried to push away from him, but he was too strong. **

**Then his lips captured mine and he kissed me. I could feel the vomit burning the back of my throat. But his lips just lingered on mine.**

**His other hand slid around behind my back and pulled my body to his. **

**His coldness penetrated my dress and I shivered.**

**He released me and I fell back against the cushions trying to catch my breath.**

"**Why have you brought here Monsieur?" I said as I fought back tears. **

**He began to speak:**

"**Oh Christine, your name is like music to my ears."**

"**You used to call me Angel. Please call Angel again."**

**He looked at me with such sadness in his eyes.**

"**I know you must be angry with me, but I had no choice. I had to send you away that day."**

**He got a faraway look in his eyes.**

"**Oh I remember that day as if it were yesterday."**

"**The way you looked at me, the way you kissed me."**

**His hand had risen to his lips.**

"**But the police were coming and if they had found you here… I could not risk what they would have done to you."**

**He grabbed my shoulders and shook me.**

"**I had to protect you!" **

**Letting his hands fall away from me he continued.**

"**It tore my heart to watch you leave with him. I could see the sadness in your eyes and how you didn't want to go."**

"**But I had to turn from you. I had to make you leave. Don't you see that?"**

"**I love you so much Christine." **

**I could see that tears were starting to run from his eyes.**

**My heart started to break for this man. **

**But I was not Christine, I was not his Angel.**

**I tried to speak but he stopped me.**

"**Then when I saw you again, the way you stood in front of this place each day."**

"**I knew you had found your way back to me."**

"**Can you finally forgive me Christine?" **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter: 4 **

**Forgive him??? **

**My head was starting to feel strange. My thoughts were getting cloudy.**

**He had continued to speak but I couldn't seem understand what he was saying.**

**Then I was in his arms. He was saying something about consummating our union.**

**He was carrying me toward that room, the one with the coffin in it.**

**I wanted to scream no, to fight him but my body felt so weak.**

**After we had entered the room he stood me on my feet. I couldn't believe that my legs were supporting me.**

**As I looked around the room I noticed it had changed. The candles were dimmer and there were roses sitting around the room.**

**When had he done this? Had I fallen asleep? Was I dreaming?**

**He was beside me, watching me, touching me. His hands were so cold. I wanted to pull away from him, but I couldn't move.**

**He was undressing me. I felt like a mannequin, unable to stop him.**

**I was being turned toward the mirror. I could see myself, but now I was wearing only my corset and undergarments. Where had the dress gone? **

**No wait, he had taken it off of me.**

**I must focus. I need to try to fight. I try to speak, but no words come out.**

**What is he saying to me? I can hear his voice. **

**A tear runs from the corner of my eye.**

**He was standing behind me removing my corset.**

**I watched as it fell to the floor soon to be followed by the rest of my clothes.**

**I was naked before him.**

**His eyes devoured me.**

**I wanted to cover myself.**

**Then he was lifting me, carrying me to the coffin.**

**No!!! My mind screamed.**

**I was lying in the coffin and he stood over me.**

**I watched as he removed his clothing.**

**Piece by piece he revealed himself to me.**

**His shoulders were broad.**

**His chest narrowed into his waist.**

**His stomach was flat and well muscled.**

**His hands went to his pants.**

**I wanted to look away, but couldn't.**

**I watched as he removed his pants.**

**His legs were as well sculpted as the rest of him.**

**He looked like a statue carved of white granite.**

**His manhood stood erect and pulsated as his breath became deep and erratic. **

**Kneeling beside me he caressed my body: My face, my neck, my breasts, my stomach, his hands traveled the length of me. And then came to rest on my breasts.**

**He messaged and lifted them.**

**Then focusing on my nipples he teased them with his thumbs until they were as erect as his manhood.**

**His head descended towards them.**

**He suckled each in turn.**

**My womb contracted and I could feel a strange wetness forming between my legs.**

**Then his hand was between my legs spreading me open.**

**His fingers dipped in and out of my most intimate region.**

**Then they plunged deeper inside me, stretching me, preparing me.**

**His thumb found the bud of my womanhood and caressed and lingered there.**

**Touching and teasing me.**

**I was being driven toward madness and I didn't want him to stop.**

**If this is what it felt like to be a whore. Then I would gladly sacrifice myself at his alter.**

**I was starting to pant and sweat covered my body. My womb constricted and spasmed repeatedly.**

**He removed his fingers from between my legs and I felt so lost and alone.**

**Was it over? Had he finished with me and found me lacking?**

**I wanted to cry out, to beg him to return.**

**I could feel him bending my knees and spreading my legs.**

**Then he was over top of me lowering him self to me.**

**His manhood was pressing against my opening.**

**He entered me slowly, stretching me farther than I thought possible.**

**And then there was pain. I felt as if I were being ripped apart.**

**As though he could sense my anguish he stopped, hovering over me frozen.**

**It seemed like an eternity passed.**

**Then he started to press himself deeper into me.**

**I waited for the pain to return, but it didn't.**

**After he had sheathed his manhood completely inside me he hesitated.**

**Then slowly he started to withdrawal. **

**When I thought he was going to exit me he thrust back forward.**

**He kept sliding in and almost out of me faster and faster.**

**I was starting to travel with him in the erotic dance our bodies were doing.**

**And then I felt myself crashing as waves of pleasure over took me.**

**Moments later I felt his hot seed enter my womb. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter: 5**

**I must have fallen asleep, because when I awoke I was no longer in his coffin.**

**I was in a strange room. **

**Had he released me? Was I free?**

**I sat up and looked around.**

**Then I saw him sitting there and my heart sank.**

"**Did you sleep well?" he asked**

**I couldn't speak as the memory of the night before flooded my mind.**

**Tears ran down my face. **

**Suddenly his arms were wrapped around me, he was caressing my hair.**

"**Hush everything is alright now, you are with me and there is nothing to be sad about." He whispered.**

**Had I dreamed the whole thing? Was I going mad? **

**He rocked me in his arms until I was able to calm myself.**

**Had I found comfort in him arms? No, I must be going mad.**

**His body chilled me and I began to shiver.**

**How could have someone so cold have made me feel so heated last night?**

**He released me and stood looking down at me.**

"**I have lain some clothing out for you to wear." He said as he pointed to a couch in the corner of the room.**

"**You will find a bath waiting for in there." He pointed to a door.**

"**Once you've refreshed yourself please meet me in the main room." **

**He turned and left.**

**All I could do is sit staring at the door (yes a door, not a curtain.) that he had just exited.**

**He had made no mention of the night before.**

**I looked down at my hand and saw the ring. **

**If the ring is real, then the rest must be…**

**I didn't want to think about it again, because I knew if I did more tears would come.**

**I slipped from the bed and realized I was wearing a nightdress.**

**How did I…? He must have put it on me. That was the only thing I could think of.**

**But if he had put this night dress in me then… then the rest… No, it was just a dream.**

**A dream and nothing more.**

**I went into the bathroom.**

**The water did look very inviting.**

**I undressed and stepped into the bath. Picking up a sponge I started to wash myself.**

**When I got to the area between my legs I saw blood.**

**It had been real. It had happened.**

**He had made me his whore.**

**I sat in the bath and cried.**

**I cried for my lost innocence and also for the way he had made me feel.**

**How his icy touch had ignited a flame in me that had scorched my very soul.**

**I do not know how much time passed as I sat there.**

**But the water had grown cold when I finally stepped from the bath.**

**Wrapped in a towel I wondered back into the bedroom in trance like state.**

**My mind was full of images from the night before.**

**I needed to escape from this nightmare.**

**But he had said that I could never leave him.**

**My head was starting to hurt and I had no more tears to cry.**

**I put the clothes on he had lain out for me and looked in the mirror.**

**I had to admit the dress was lovely: A pale yellow with lite pink roses embroidered on the skirt.**

**Turning away from the mirror and finally looked at the room.**

**The bed I had slept on was white with four posts and the head board was painted with red roses.**

**There was a chest of drawers and a closet matching the bed.**

**I went to them and looked inside, only to find them empty.**

**I guess I will be wearing only what he chooses for me to wear.**

**But I am his captive and there is no denying it.**

**Please watch over me in my hour of need I prayed.**

**Sitting down at the vanity I picked up a brush (The Initial C was engraved on the back.) and started to brush out my wet hair.**

**Satisfied that all the tangles had been removed I picked up a ribbon and tied my hair back.**

**I couldn't stay in the room forever.**

**Oh though I wish I could.**

**I started for the door. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

**As I reached out for the door handle a knock sounded.**

**Startled I jumped back.**

"**Christine?" He voice called through the door.**

"**Christine is everything alright? I have been waiting for you to join me."**

"**I…I will be with you in a moment." I said trying to keep my voice calm.**

**As the words left my lips the door opened and he was standing there.**

**He filled the narrow doorway with his frame.**

**I wanted to cower back from him, but he reached for me and took me in his arms.**

**His coldness chilled me.**

**And his smell made me think of a grave.**

"**Why do you try to hide yourself from me Christine? You know you wish to be here with me." "If you didn't you would not have returned to me."**

**I wanted to scream, to tell him, but I feared what he would do.**

**What he had done to me…**

"**Come." He said as he stepped away from me.**

**He took my hand in his and led me down the stairs.**

**I noticed that this room sat next to his.**

**He led me over to the couch and handed me a plate of food.**

"**You must eat."**

**I looked at the food and wondered if it was poisoned. **

"**I said eat." His tone had become harsh, as though I had offended him.**

**I sat on the couch and forced the food into my mouth.**

**I wanted to gag as the sweetness of the fruit washed over my taste buds.**

**My body started to shake and the plate crashed to the floor.**

**I was losing control of myself and the brave mask I had tried to put on was shattering.**

**He was at my side trying to comfort me, stroking my hair and whispering.**

"**Oh Christine… Everything will be alright. You are with me and I will never leave you."**

**I pushed myself away from him and fell to the floor.**

**He came to kneel beside me, but I slid away from him not wanting him to touch me.**

"**Please Monsieur, listen too me, I am not this Christine you speak of. My name is…."**

**But I didn't get to tell him my name.**

**He had picked me up off the floor and was holding me by my shoulders shaking me like a rag doll.**

"**I will hear none of this nonsense!" He roared in my face.**

**Terror filled my soul and I knew he was going to kill me.**

**Tears ran from my eyes and the only word I could speak slipped from my lips.**

"**Angel…"**

**He froze for a moment and then drew me to his chest. **

**Holding me in his arms he buried his face in my hair.**

**I could feel his body shaking. **

**Was he crying? **

**When he finally stepped away from he looked to his side.**

**I took that moment to move away from him. **

**Then I saw something move in the shadows.**

**What could it have been?**

**Then I saw a young boy. He couldn't have been more than nine or ten years old.**

**What was he doing here? Was he lost?**

**My questions were answered when the man put out his hand and the boy came forward.**

"**This is Laddie and he assists me." He said as he took a note from the boy.**

"**Laddie?" I whispered. **

**More questions filled my mind. Was this boy his son? And if he wasn't where were his parents? **

**I was snapped from my thoughts when the man yelled. "What the hell does he want now?"**

**He had crushed the paper in his hand and looked furiously at the boy.**

**Looking frightened Laddie shrugged his shoulders as he quickly stepped back from the man.**

**The man (my capture) looked nervous as he stalked around the room clenching and unclenching his fists.**

**I stood there frozen with fear. **

**Who was this person that could cause him to get so upset?**

**And then a small voice in the back of my mind whispered.**

**Could this person rescue me?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

**The man stopped in front of Laddie.**

**Kneeling down so he would be at eye level to the boy he took the boys shoulders in his hands and said. **

"**Take her to her room and keep her quiet while I greet our guest."**

**Laddie nodded his head and then looked at me.**

**As he stood he pulled something from his sleeve.**

**Laddie grabbed the man's arm and shook his head no, silently pleading with his big brown eyes.**

**The man seemed too smiled at Laddie and patted him on the head saying "You might be right."**

**The man put what ever it was back into his sleeve.**

**Laddie came over and took my hand and started to lead me towards the steps.**

**I had only gone a few paces when I stopped and jerked my hand away from Laddie's. I thought to myself it's now or never.**

"**No." I said. "I won't go. I want to…" But I didn't get to finish.**

**The man grabbed me and spun me around to face him.**

**I could see murder in his eyes.**

"**You will do as you're told!" He hissed in my face. His fingers were digging into my arms and I wanted to cry out in pain. But I was too terrified to utter a sound.**

**Then he shoved me toward Laddie and shouted "Go!"**

**I fell at Laddie's feet and looked up at him.**

**He was just a child and this monster seemed to control him.**

**Tears streaked my face and my shoulder hurt. **

**Yet anger was starting to fill my soul.**

**If I was going to fight for my freedom I knew this might be my only chance.**

**With this strange visitor coming, I might not have another opportunity.**

**I only hoped that this person might help me.**

**I pushed myself up off the floor and started to turn to face this man.**

**But Laddie grabbed me and started to pull and drag me toward the room.**

**I tried to fight him, to pull away.**

**But for a boy he was very strong.**

**As he pushed me into the room and closed the door behind him I heard the voices of the man and the stranger.**

**The man had said: "What do you want Nadir?"**

**And the stranger had answered "It is always a pleasure to see you too Erik."**

"**Get to the point Nadir."**

"**There's a girl missing…" said the stranger.**

**And that was all I got to hear.**

**I stepped forward trying to hear more of what they were saying, but Laddie put his hands up and began to push me farther into the room. **

**Frustration boiled in me. **

**I needed to know what was happening.**

**I needed to attract Nadir's attention.**

**I rushed forward trying to overpower Laddie but he was prepared for me and wrestled me to the ground. **

**He sat on my chest and pinned my arms to my sides with his legs. **

**He was like a vicious dog (small but powerful.)**

**With no other options left I opened my mouth and screamed.**

**I screamed as loud as I could until his hands covered my mouth muffling the sound.**

**Suddenly the door burst open and Erik (that was what the stranger had called him) and Nadir (the stranger) stood there looking at us.**

**I'm sure we made a comical site: Laddie on my chest covering my mouth with his hands and me trying to wiggle out from under him.**

"**What the hell have you done now Erik?" Nadir asked with a sound of shock in his voice.**

"**This is no concern of yours Nadir." Erik growled at him.**

**As Erik stepped forward, Laddie sensing his master's displeasure rolled off of me and cowered against the side of the bed. Trying to make him self appear smaller than he already was.**

**I tried to slide myself backwards away from Erik, but he grabbed my wrist and stood me up.**

**Holding my wrist he turned to Nadir and said "This woman is mine and you will not take her from me."**

**I could tell that Erik was barely controlling himself and I feared for all of our lives.**

**Raising his hands with his palms open and outward Nadir said "Calm your self Erik. I have not come here to fight with you." His voice sounded as if he was trying to calm a wild beast.**

"**Then what have you come here for?" Erik said with quiet rage in his voice. **

"**Erik you know that I am your friend and that I want no harm for you."**

**Erik just snorted and eyed him wearily as he pulled me to his side and wrapped his arm around my waist. **

"**Please Erik just stop and listen."**

"**And what am I to listen too? What great epiphany do you have to share?**

**I have already planted my seed within her. No! She will not be leaving here."**

**Nadir looked at me and I blushed and looked at the floor.**

**Could he see what I had become? I wanted to curl up and vanish now that my shame was known.**

**A tear ran down my cheek.**

**Mademoiselle are you here of your own free will?**

**Was he speaking to me? What would happen if I answered him?**

**I could feel Erik's grip tightening, crushing me.**

**I said nothing.**

**I was too afraid to speak.**

**Tears were streaking my face.**

**I could hear Erik whispering in my ear.**

**What he said chilled me more than his touch ever could.**

"**If you try to leave here with him, both your lives will be forfeit."**

**I shivered from both his icy touch and his words.**

"**Erik just release the girl so you and I may go into the other room and talk."**

**Erik seemed to think about what the man had said.**

"**Fine we will talk. But be warned, I will not be letting her leave."**

**Then he removed his arm from my waist and I fell to my knees gasping for air.**

**Nadir stepped forward to help me, but Erik barked "Don't touch her." **

**Nadir stopped and bowed his head at Erik and said "As you wish."**

**Did this man, Erik, control everything in this dark domain of his?**

**I watched as Nadir bowed to him. I looked over at Laddie and saw the way he looked at Erik with both fear and awe. And now I cowered at his feet. **

**As the two men left the room Erik turned back and looked at me.**

"**You are mine and I will kill to keep you." He said in a soft voice and then turned and followed Nadir.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

**They had left the door open so I began to crawl towards the opening.**

**I looked back to see if Laddie would try and stop me. But he just sat there looking at me with pity in his eyes.**

**I crawled out to the landing and sat curled into a ball. I could hear what they were saying.**

"**Erik, you know this girl is not Christine. So please tell me why you brought her here."**

"**Nadir, did you see her? She could be Christine's twin."**

"**That may be true Erik, but it does not give you any right to her."**

"**Oh but you are wrong my dear friend. I have every right to her."**

**Nadir looked questioningly at Erik. "What do you mean?"**

**Erik walked over to his desk and pulled out a sheet of paper.**

**Turning back around he held the paper up and said "This gives me every right to her."**

**Nadir walked over to where Erik stood and took the paper from him.**

**Reading it Nadir said "How can this be?"**

"**My friend, with enough money, you can buy anything." Erik responded quietly.**

**My mind was spinning. I wanted to know what they were looking at. **

**What was written on that paper that made Erik think he had every right to me?**

**I could take it no longer. **

**Standing I walked down the stairs.**

**Erik saw me first and said as he extended his hand towards me "It seems that my lovely bride has decided to join us."**

**Nadir turned and looked at me. Bowing his head slightly he said "Madam".**

**I was becoming more confused. What was written on that paper? And why was Nadir suddenly calling me Madam?**

**Finding my voice I said "What is going on here? What is that paper?"**

"**My dear this is our marriage license" Erik said with a hint of sarcasms in his voice.**

"**Our marriage…? No, this is not possible. It can't be. I…I…" My head was starting to spin and I felt like I was going to faint.**

**Erik caught me as I started to fall.**

**When I regained my senses I was laying on the couch.**

**Erik and Nadir were arguing. **

**I felt so numb. Was this true? Did it even matter?**

**I just laid there and listened to them.**

"**Do you even love this girl Erik?" Nadir asked heatedly.**

"**What does love have to do with marriage? For that matter what has love ever brought me other than pain?"**

"**Then why Erik? Why did you do this?" **

**An uneasy silence fell over the room.**

**I must have moved or made a sound because the next words I heard were "I see my bride has awaked."**

**I sat up and looked at the two of them.**

**How could this be? I was his wife, but there had been no priest, no ceremony.**

**I looked down at the ring on my hand.**

**Then looking up I said "This is all lies! There was no wedding! There was no priest! No! This is a Lie!" By the time I finished speaking my voice had raised to a scream.**

"**I can assure you Madam this document is quite legal and binding. You are very much my Wife."**

"**I still do not understand how this can be." **

"**It was very simple actually. **

**You see all I had to do was go to your guardian and offer him a handsome sum of money for your hand."**

"**My guardian…? No! He would never do this."**

"**You are wrong. Your guardian did do this. Is his name not Monsieur Walter James. And he was all too happy to be rid of you."**

"**Monsieur James…? But he is like my own family."**

**Erik laughed at me and said. "How can you be so naive? Did you really believe that he took you under his protection out of the goodness of his heart?"**

"**No my dear, he was all too happy to sell you to the highest bidder."**

"**YOU should be happy that I found you first!"**

"**Your life could have ended up far worse than being here in my home."**

**His words sent a shiver down my spine.**

**But Monsieur James had always been so kind to me. **

**He had been there for me after my parents had been killed. **

**He had given me a job and protected me from harm.**

**He would never have done something like this.**

**I looked at Erik and Nadir. **

"**May I see it." I whispered as I put my hand out.**

**Erik handed me the document.**

**I looked at it and cried.**

**M. James was written under my name giving M. Erik my hand in marriage.**

**I dropped the paper and fled to my room.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

**Laddie was no where to be found and I was glad.**

**I didn't want to face that little mongrel after what his master had just put me through.**

**I slammed the door behind me and threw myself across the bed.**

**I laid there and cried. **

**How could I have been so wrong about Monsieur James and how could he have betrayed me and my family like this.**

**M. James had been a friend of my father's. They had grown up together and he had spent many an evening in our home.**

**My mother would cook and he and my father would sit be the fire and talk of the good old days. **

**He had been like an uncle to me.**

**And then the night of the fire he had taken me to his room and comforted me. **

**He had told me that he would always care for me as my parents had wished him too.**

**Had all that been lies? Had he really sold me to this man, this monster? **

**This monster… What if what he said was true and he had planted his seed in me.**

**What if I was pregnant with his child?**

**There was a knock at the door.**

**I sat up and wiped my face wondering what new torment awaited me.**

**The knock sounded again and Erik called through the door: "Lesta may I come in a talk to you."**

**My name…he had said my name.**

**He knew I wasn't Christine…But yet he had tormented me.**

**What kind of twisted monster was this man?**

**The knocking had grown louder and more urgent. "Answer me Lesta!"**

**I covered my ears and tried to block out the sound.**

**Then the door flew open and Erik stepped into the room.**

"**I will try to be polite with you! But you will learn to treat me with respect!" He shouted at me. **

**Respect…? He wanted my respect?**

**The man that had kidnapped and raped me now wanted my respect?**

**I just sat and looked at him. **

**He started toward me.**

**I didn't move.**

**His hand touched my face.**

"**So much like hers." He whispered.**

**I jerked away him. "I'm not her! And you know it! You knew I wasn't her when you brought me here!" I was trying not to cry. "Why did you bring me here?"**

"**Do you really want me to answer you?" His voice was so cold.**

**I shook my head no. Did it even matter? I was here and he wasn't going to let me leave.**

"**What do you want from me then?" My voice had become as cold as his.**

**He turned my face to his and looked directly into my eyes. "I want a wife; I want someone to bear my children." **

**I tried to turn my head, to look away from him. But he held my gaze as the horror of his words sank into my brain.**

**My stomach twisted and I felt like I was going to vomit. **

"**Why don't you just kill me now and be done? Why must you torment me?" **

"**I have never harmed anyone. So why am I to be punished?" Tears were streaming downing my face.**

"**Oh my dear Lesta, the world is not a fair place and the sooner you learn that the better off you will be."**

**I pulled away from him and laid down on the bed with my back to him.**

**I hoped he would just leave.**

**But he just sat there silently.**

**I could feel him looking at me.**

**And I curled into a ball.**

**Then I felt his hand on my shoulder.**

"**For better or worse, you are my wife." He said softly.**

**He went on to say: "I didn't want you to find out that we were married the way you did."**

"**You didn't want for me to find out at all. You wanted to turn me into her. You wanted to drive me Mad. You wanted to make me as insane as you are."**

**I slipped from the bed and walked over to the mirror.**

**Looking at myself and then at the portrait of Christine that hung on the wall I said. "Maybe there is a resemblance. But I will Never be Her!" **

**I ripped to portrait from the wall and smashed it against mirror sending shards of glass spraying into the room.**

**I threw the remains of the portrait on the floor as my eyes fixed on a large piece of broken glass.**

**I knelt and picked it up.**

**Holding it in my hands I caressed its smoothness.**

**Then lifted it to my throat.**

**He grabbed my wrist and tore the glass from my fingertips.**

**Lifting me up and spinning me around he looked into my eyes.**

"**Why…? Why did you stop me?" I asked breathlessly.**

"**Are you really that anxious to burn in hell?"**

**I just looked at him.**

"**Are you!!!?" He shook me hard**

**But I still didn't respond.**

"**So you wish to taste Hell do you?"**

"**Then a taste you shall have!"**

**He dragged me from the room and down the steps and across the room to a door.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:**

**I was thrown into a dark room and I listened as a key turned in a lock.**

**Where was I? What new nightmare lay ahead?**

**I reach out my hand and felt a smooth wall beside me.**

**I wondered around in the darkness trying to figure out what he had meant by a taste of Hell.**

**Then suddenly the room filled with light. **

**It was so bright that I had to shield my eyes with my hands to keep from being blinded. **

**I could hear a scrapping sound coming from the walls.**

**A shiver of fear ran down my spine.**

**Once I had become accustomed to the brightness I looked around and saw a forest.**

**It was almost beautiful.**

**But this could not be right! my mind screamed. **

**It is only an illusion, another way for him to torment me.**

**To show me what was no longer mine.**

**I sat down and enjoyed the warmth upon my skin.**

**At least there was warmth here, I thought. Unlike that cold dark dungeon that was to be my home.**

**I thought I could here birds singing, but there were no birds.**

**Time passed and I became drowsy.**

**I laid down on the smooth warm floor and rested my head upon my arms.**

**I fell to sleep.**

**When I woke up my skin felt like it was on fire and I was very thirsty. **

**I could see the trees all around me, but they gave no shade.**

**I thought I heard a breeze blowing through the branches, but the air was still and stifling.**

**Then my mind cleared and I remembered Erik saying something about a taste of Hell.**

**Is this it? Is this what he meant?**

**To be forever baked in a forest without shade. **

**Did he expect me to cry out, to beg for his mercy?**

**I would not give him that satisfaction.**

**I sat up and ripped the skirts from my dress and used them to protect myself from the merciless light. **

**I don't know how much time passed but I continued to lie there and sleep off and on.**

**My mind drifting from one thought to the next, but never truly focusing on anything.**

**I was so thirsty.**

**When I awoke for the second time the light had faded and the scene before me had changed.**

**I could hear creatures scurrying through the trees and was that an owl hooting in the distance.**

**The heat was still so intense but I no longer needed to worry about the light burning my skin.**

**I had to focus, to remember that this was only a room.**

**There was no forest, no creatures, and no escape.**

**I was so thirsty. I ran my tongue over my lips only too taste blood.**

**My throat felt like it was starting to close and my head was pounding.**

**I felt like I was going mad.**

**I curled myself into a tight ball as I lay there.**

**I will not cry out, I will not beg for his mercy!**

**I would rather burn in this Hell, than serve in his dungeon.**

**Is this what my life had come too? **

**To choose between life with a madman, or death...**

**Then so be it, I choose death. **

**I closed my eyes and said a silent pray that death would come quickly.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

**I felt myself being lifted and wondered if an angel of mercy had taken pity on me.**

**But then I began to have terrible nightmares.**

**Nightmares of the night my parents had died.**

**I could hear their screams and smell the rancid smoke as the fire consumed the building.**

**I was trying to reach them, but Monsieur James was holding me back.**

**And then he was handing me too a faceless monster.**

**Next I was running. Trying to escape from a cold dark pit, but at every turn He was there blocking my path, his icy fingers sinking into my flesh and tearing me apart.**

**Suddenly I was being buried alive in a coffin made of flames.**

**I woke up screaming.**

**My skin was badly burned and smallest movement sent searing pain through my body.**

**I heard footsteps running toward me and then he came into view.**

**I had not escaped him.**

**And I began cry. **

**As my sobs shook my body they were accompanied by the pain in my flesh.**

"**Hush Lesta, you are safe now. I removed you from that place and have been tending your burns."**

**Did he believe that he had somehow rescued me?**

**That I should see him as my hero?**

"**Put me back. Let me die." Was all I could say.**

"**Your delirious and don't know what your saying. Please just be quiet and try to rest." He said as he tried to place a cool cloth on my forehead.**

**With all my strength I push myself up into a sitting position and screamed at him. "Just leave me alone and let me die!!!"**

**My arms were shaking and I could barely hold myself up, but I continued to glare at him.**

**Slowly he backed away from me and turned and fled the room.**

**That's when I noticed two things: **

**First- the sheet that had been covering me had fallen to my waist to reveal that I was very much naked.**

**And second- Nadir was standing in the doorway.**

**He had averted his eyes but I am sure he had seen me.**

**I fell back against the pillows and tried to cover myself. But I was too weak to even reach for the sheet.**

**Nadir stepped forward and pulled the sheet up to my chin.**

**Clearing his throat he said "I beg your forgiveness Madam. I meant no disrespect."**

**Was he always so formal? **

"**Have you finally come to take me from this place?" I asked as I tried not to cry.**

"**No Madam, I have not. You are his wife and I can not stand between you."**

"**Then why have come here?" I asked bitterly.**

"**Erik has been my friend for many years and I care about his well being. And when Laddie brought me word of what he had done to you I could not stay away."**

"**So it is you that I have to thank for my life" I snapped at him.**

"**No Madam, Erik took you from that room of his own volition. He could stand to see you tormented no longer."**

**I laughed a very bitter laugh and said "So now what is to become of me? Will he choose another torture, another sick game to tear me down farther?"**

"**I think not Madam. You did not see him as he watched and waited for you to ask for release. You do not know him as I do."**

"**Then have you come to plead his case? Because if that is why you've come here; I really don't want to hear it."**

"**Please Madam just hear me out."**

"**I have a name. It is Lesta. Please call me by it."**

"**Very well then, Lesta, there are some things you need to know about Erik."**

"**I need to know nothing about him!"**

"**But I beg to differ with you Madam Lesta. There is much you need to know."**

"**Please Monsieur just leave and let me be. I am very tired and this is a conversation best left to another day."**

"**As you wish Madam Lesta but I will leave you with one thing to think about."**

"**And just what is that one thing Monsieur?"**

"**You have it within your power to rescue Erik."**

**And with that said he bowed formally at the waist and turned and left the room.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12:**

**Nadir's words echoed in my brain. What could he have meant by saying that I could rescue Erik?**

**How could I rescue a madman? I can't even save myself.**

**My eyelids were starting to get heavy and sleep over took me again.**

**When next I opened my eyes I noticed that the room was darker and that fire had died down.**

**Had he finally abandoned me? **

**That is what I wanted wasn't it?**

**I started to get up but I froze when I saw him sitting in the corner watching me.**

**In the near darkness of the room he looked like a ghost.**

**I pulled the sheet around me and winched from the pain.**

**The silence dragged on. **

**Was he ever going to speak? **

**It was as quiet as a grave in here.**

**I was becoming frightened at the way his golden eyes just silently stared at me.**

**Finally I could take it no more and shouted at him. "Are you just going sit there and stare at me? Say something anything, I can't stand this any longer."**

"**And what is it you would have me say?" came his quiet reply.**

"**Anything, just fill this accursed silence with sound and stop looking at me like that."**

"**Did you not ask for solitude, or was it death?"**

**He stood and started slowly toward me.**

**I pressed myself against the headboard of the bed trying to ignore the pain.**

**I knew how vulnerable I was and feared he would hurt me again.**

**He stopped at the side of the bed and held out his hand.**

"**I have prepared a bath for you. It will help sooth and heal your wounds."**

**I had no choice but to trust him, so I slipped my hand into his.**

**I pulled the sheet around me.**

**But as I stepped from the bed my knees gave out and I started to fall.**

**Erik caught me and lifted me in his arms.**

**He carried me to the bath and placed me in it, sheet and all.**

**The water felt so nice and cool on my burnt skin.**

**The sheet floated to the surface as I unwound it from my body.**

**Instead of leaving the room, Erik sat on a stool in the corner and watched me.**

**This might sound strange, but his presence didn't really bother me. **

**Actually part of me was starting getting used to him. **

**And I did still have the sheet covering me.**

**Oh he still frightened me. Don't ever think he didn't. But at least with him there I was not left alone with the dark thoughts that now occupied my mind.**

**As I soaked in the tub a thought came to me.**

"**Erik, May I asked you a question?" I whispered afraid to disturb the peace that had fallen over the room.**

**He tensed, but nodded his head slightly.**

"**Why did you save me from that room?" But before he could answer I rushed on saying: "I mean you were the one that put me in there. Did you do it just to prove your power over me? To show that it is your choice if I live or …."**

**But I didn't get to complete what I was saying because he roared "Enough of this nonsense!" And then in a quieter tone he said "You are here and that is all that matters."**

**I sat there and looked at him. Could he have feeling for me? **

**No. I am only an object to him, something to use as he wished.**

**I relaxed my body and allowed my head to slide under the surface of the water.**

**He must have thought I was trying to drown myself. Because I had not been under the water very long before his hand broke the surface and jerked me up by my hair.**

"**Do you truly seek death so wantonly?" He yelled at me.**

**I looked at him and bared me teeth and snarled "What would it matter."**

**We stayed like that glaring at each other until I finally broke the silence.**

"**Tell me about Christine."**

**He released me as though I had burnt him and said "You will not speak her name."**

**I sank back into the water and watched him as he paced the small room.**

"**Erik."**

**He stopped**

"**Forgive me, I did not mean to hurt you."**

**I don't know why I apologized to him. But the words had just come out.**

**He turned and looked at me as if I spoken in a foreign language.**

"**I think you have soaked long enough" he said as he held a towel up for me.**

**I stepped from the tub and he gently wrapped the towel around my body.**

**He had me sit on the stool while he applied salve to my burns.**

**He started with my face and worked his way down to my arms.**

**But when he got to the tops of my breasts he hesitated; His hand hovering over my flesh.**

**Taking a breath he then applied the salve to my breasts.**

**After he finished he offered me his arm to escort me back to my room.**

**I was glad I had his arm to lean on because I was feeling very weak.**

**He must have noticed because he kept his pace slow and his steps short.**

**It almost seemed like we were doing some twisted wedding march.**

**The though almost made me laugh.**

**As I got to the bed I noticed that the sheets had been changed and the candles around it had been relit. The fire had also been rekindled.**

**I looked around expecting to see Laddie, but he wasn't there.**

**As I made myself comfortable on the bed and pulled the sheet up over my body I saw Erik turning to leave.**

"**Please stay." I said. **

**I was afraid and didn't want to be alone. **

**And the company of my jailer was preferable to the dark thoughts that haunted me.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter: 13**

**He turned and looked at me, then bowed and said in a mocking tone "As you wish, my wife."**

**Why did he have to be like that; Almost kind one moment and then mockingly cruel the next.**

**I wanted to scream at him, to tell him that if he was going to be like that to just get out, but I held my tongue.**

**I watched him walk across the room and return to his seat.**

"**What should we discuss; the weather maybe or no, politics." His tone was so cold.**

"**What shall it be dear wife?"**

**Was he trying to make me hate him?**

**I ignored what he had said and asked "Is Laddie your son?"**

**He looked at me and said "No."**

**I waited for him to continue but he didn't.**

**So I asked "Then how did Laddie come to be here?"**

**He sighed and said "I guess we are going to have a polite conversion after all."**

"**As for how Laddie came to be here it is quiet simple, his family did not want him because of his defect. So I took him."**

"**Defect…? What defect does he have?"**

"**You have not noticed?"**

"**No."**

"**Laddie can not speak, nor utter a sound. And because of that his family thought him stupid and cast him out." Erik tone had become hateful and a rage started to burn in his eyes.**

**Without thinking I said "But he seems so normal."**

"**Normal…! What do you know of normal!!!? Is normal a beautiful voice or an attractive face? Or is it a freak that hides behind a mask and lives in a dungeon with a boy that is mute?" **

**He stormed around the room looking as if he wanted to kill.**

**I cowered back against the headboard praying he wouldn't hurt me.**

**He stopped beside the bed and glared down at me.**

"**No Madam you know nothing of life or what normal can be."**

**I was shaking and said "Forgive my ignorance, I meant no offense." **

**He reached out and touched my hair saying "You are but a child, what should you know of life and its cruelties." His tone was so much gentler than it had been just moments before.**

"**Get some rest while I go prepare you some food."**

**After he had left the room I lay on the bed trying to calm myself.**

**What had he meant I was a child? I was 18 years olds and far from being a child.**

**But I was physically weak at the moment and completely dependant upon his mercy.**

**I closed my eyes and tried to rest but my mind would not settle.**

**I heard him in my head saying that that he wanted me to bear his children.**

**His children…would they be as hideous as him? Would I be bearing a family of monsters? **

**He cleared his throat as he entered the room carrying a tray.**

**Sitting it before me on the bed he lifted the cover with all the flourish of a magician revealing a magic trick. He even tipped his head to the side and bowed.**

**I couldn't help but to smile at him.**

**But my smile quickly faded when I saw the glass of wine sitting on the tray next to a bowl of stew and bread.**

**Was he meaning to poison me again? **

**I looked up at him and he must have read the question in my eyes.**

"**It is only to help you relax and rest Lesta, nothing more." His voice was gentle and soothing.**

**I looked back down at the tray. I was hungry and my stomach growled in agreement.**

**I dipped my head and blushed embarrassed at my behavior.**

**I started to lift the spoon when suddenly he said "Now I know what is missing."**

**And in flash a rose appeared between his fingertips.**

**Presenting it to me he said "Now you may enjoy your meal."**

**I accepted the rose and said "Thank you".**

**He sat on the side of the bed and watched me eat. **

**I paused before I brought the wine glass to my lips.**

**Looking at him I wondered if I should trust him.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14:**

**I drank the wine and he removed the tray from the bed. **

**After sitting the tray on the table by the door he returned.**

**Sitting on the edge of the bed he lifted my hand to his lips and gently kissed my fingertips.**

**Looking at me he said "Over time you will come to trust me."**

**I looked at him confused. Had I not drank the wine without question? Oh maybe a moments hesitation but nothing more. **

**I started to speak, but he brought his fingers to my lips and stopped me.**

"**I know my world is strange to you and that you think me a monster. But truly I am nothing more than a man."**

"**Oh Lesta… I am a man and as a man I have needs."**

**I looked at him. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? Was he preparing to use me again?**

**I started draw my hand from his, but he held it tighter.**

"**I do not mean to frighten you with my words. I only mean to make you understand why I've done what I've done."**

"**I have never lived as other men have, and I envy them their bliss."**

"**Oh but I have seen more cruelty in my life than any twenty men should have to bear."**

"**But that is no concern of yours my dear wife; I do not want that for you."**

**My eyes were starting to get heavy from the medicated wine he had given me and I was having trouble concentrating on what he was saying.**

**But something in his tone and manner tugged at my heart.**

"**Rest Lesta…rest and heal." He said as he leaned forward and softly kissed my forehead.**

**For some reason my cloudy brain could not fathom. **

**I brought my hand up and touched his hair.**

**Then as his eyes locked on mine and I said "Good night Erik."**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**The next few days passed easily enough with Erik bringing me my meals and drugging me to sleep.**

**But at least I was healing and during the times I was awake my flesh did not burn so badly.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I was finally able to leave the bed under my own power and Erik found me sitting in the chair when he brought me my breakfast that morning.**

"**I see my bride has arisen."**

**He had been so kind to me during my convalesce and I hoped for it to continue.**

"**Yes Erik, I am starting feel much better. Thank you."**

"**Then maybe after you've eaten you would like for me to run you a bath and lay you out some clothing. I'm sure you're getting tired of being naked." He said as his eyes raked my sheet wrapped body.**

"**Yes Erik that would be very kind of you." I said as tried not to shrink from his stare. **

**His stare intensified and I became increasingly more uncomfortable.**

**Finally I could take it no longer and cried "Please Erik stopping looking at me like that."**

"**But how should I look at my lovely wife? And you are my wife."**

**I looked away from him and thought; the monster has returned and my kind and gentle Erik is no more.**

**A tear of morning ran down my cheek.**

**I finished eating and Erik went to run my bath.**

**Would he insist on sitting with me while I bathe? Would I have a choice?**

**He came out of the bathroom and said "Your bath awaits."**

**I stood and started for the bathroom but he stepped into my path.**

"**Would you like for me too assist you?"**

"**No…no I think I can manage on my own thank you."**

**I tried to slip past him but he held out his hand and I stopped.**

**He touched the side of my face and whispered "Please don't fear me Lesta."**

**I closed my eyes and allowed his fingers too caress my cheek and thought how can I not fear him. He holds my life in the palm of his hand.**

**He tilted my face towards his and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me.**

**Then he stepped away from me and bowed and said "My lady's bath awaits. I shall hinder her no more."**

**I had to smile at him. The way his head tipped to the side and his eyes twinkled with mirth. This was the Erik I had become used too.**

**The Erik I might be able to care for.**

**I gathered the sheet more closely around me and with a slight nod of my head I stepped around him and into the bathroom.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15:**

**After closing the door I leaned against it.**

**Living with him was like living with two separate people.**

**One who could be kind and gentle and even funny at times.**

**And then the other one who frightened me with his rages and made me feel things that I didn't want to feel.**

**I shook myself to clear my head, and unwrapped the sheet from my body and stepped into the tub.**

**As I returned to my room with a towel securely wrapped around me I looked to make sure Erik was no where to be found.**

**Then I saw on the freshly made bed what he intended for me to wear and my heart sank.**

**What lay there was a white silk nightgown with thin straps that tied on the shoulders and a matching robe. At least the robe had long sleeves and might cover me.**

**I slipped the gown over my head and then reached under it to remove the towel.**

**The silk did feel wonderful against my skin.**

**I pulled the robe on next and tied to around my waist.**

**I looked over to where the mirror used to hang and then to where the portrait of Christine used to be and wondered if this outfit had originally been meant for her.**

**Then I walked over to the vanity and sat down to brush my hair.**

**Picking up the brush I noticed that it looked different. **

**The back was Mother-of-Pearl and there was no "C" engraved on it.**

**Had he done this for me so I would have my own brush?**

**I shook my head and told myself to stop being silly.**

**He would care no more of such things than the man in the moon.**

**I finished brushing my hair and stood to look at myself in the mirror.**

**The gown and robe clung to my body revealing all of my womanly curves.**

**The neckline of the gown hung dangerously low and I tried to pull the robe so it would cover my exposed skin.**

**I felt more naked in this than I had in the sheet.**

**A knock sounded at the door and I immediately thought Erik had returned. I looked around for something to cover myself.**

**Then the knock sounded again.**

**Grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch I wrapped it around myself and said "come in". **

**The door opened slowly and I saw Laddie standing there.**

**He was dress in a suit coat and dress slacks with his hair combed back and his shoes shined.**

**I wondered at his formal attire until he held up a silver tray with a note laying on it.**

**He stood there nervously holding the tray and looking at me with his big brown eyes.**

"**What do we have here" I said smiling at him.**

**He smiled back at me and held the tray higher.**

**Taking the note I read:**

_**The presence of Madam Lesta is cordially awaited in the library.**_

'_**Your Most Humble and Obedient Servant**_

_**E.**_

**I wondered what this was about. **

**But when Laddie held up his arm for me to take and I thought, how can I refuse.**

**I pulled the blanket more tightly around myself and reached for Laddie's arm.**

**Laddie looked at the blanket and shook his head.**

**I smiled down at him and said "It might chilly out there".**

**He shrugged his shoulders and I took his arm.**

**As he led me through Erik's home I noticed that the portraits of Christine had been removed.**

**This seemed odd to me but I didn't say anything.**

**We came to a heavy wooden door and Laddie reached out and opened it.**

**After showing me into the room he quickly bowed and left.**

**I looked around but did not see Erik and wondered where he was.**

**Suddenly the blanket was lifted from my shoulders and tossed to a chaise longue.**

**Then I felt his hands on my shoulders turning me around.**

**I swallowed hard, nervous about what was going to happen next.**

**Facing him I watched as he stepped back from me and beheld my appearance. **

**I wanted to cover myself as his eyes travel up and down my body.**

**That is also when I notice he had changed his clothes. Now he wore tight black pants with the legs tucked neatly into a pair of shiny black riding boots. He also wore a loose white ruffled front shirt that hung open to his waist.**

**His appearance almost took my breath away. **

**He looked so sexual. **

**If it had not been for his paleness and the fact that I knew what his masked covered, I might have found him handsome.**

"**You are very beautiful." He said stepping back toward me **

**I quickly stepped away from him and asked him why he had summoned me too this room.**

"**I have decided to give you a gift in honor of our marriage." **

**I looked at him confused. Why could he not have given me this gift in my room?**

**Then he stepped to the center of the room and spread his arms and said "I present this room to you and all of its contents."**

**Was I hearing him correctly? Was he actually giving me a library to have as my own? Had he remembered when I had told him of my love of books? **

**I looked at him and he said "Yes all these books are yours now to read as you please."**

**Without thinking I went over to him and threw my arms around his neck and kissed him on his throat.**

**He froze at my touch and I realized what I had done.**

**Quickly stepping back from him I looked at the floor and said "Forgive me, I did not mean to offend you with my inappropriate behavior. I only meant to thank you for such a lovely gift." **

**He stepped toward me and lifted my chin with his fingers and looked into my eyes and said. "It is I who should be begging your forgiveness. It is just I am not used to being willing touched by such a beautiful creature as yourself."**

**Turning he said "I will leave you now to explore your new sanctuary."**

"**Please stay." The words had slipped from my lips before I even thought not to say them.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16:**

**He turned and looked at me. Then bowing he said "If it is my lady's wish."**

"**Yes, it is my wish."**

**I don't why I wanted him to stay. I just knew that I needed him there.**

**He sat on the couch as I wondered around the room looking at all the books.**

**There were a lot music books, and books on music theory, scripts and scores from plays and musicals. **

**Then I saw one that was bound in red with gold lettering that read; 'Don Juan Triumphs' and I reached for it.**

**I had not even seen him move, but in an instant his hand covered mine.**

"**I don't think you need to see this." **

"**But you said everything in this room is mine to read."**

"**Everything but this" He said as he took the book from me.**

"**And just what is that, your life story?"**

**I turned from him and covered my face with my hands.**

"**Please Lesta calm yourself" he said as he placed his hand on my shoulder.**

**I jerked away from his touch and stormed across the room.**

"**No Erik I won't calm myself! You tell me that I am your wife, but I know nothing about you! You give me this room, but then you tell me I can not read that book! You seem to enjoy tormenting me at every turn! Why Erik!!! Why…?"**

**I picked up a figurine from the table and sent it flying at his head. **

**He ducked it easily and started towards me slowly, watching my every move.**

**I picked up another object and threw it at him and screamed "Stay away from me!"**

**I backed up as he approached me throwing what ever object came to my hand.**

**And then my back met the wall and I was trapped.**

**I slid down it and covered my face with my hands and cried. My anger was spent and I now feared what retaliation he would take on me for my actions.**

**He knelt beside me and took me into his arms and held me as I cried.**

**Finally I pulled away from him and looked into his eyes.**

"**If I am to be your wife Erik will you not at least tell me about yourself."**

**He gathered me in his arms and carried me to the couch.**

**He sat beside me and took my hands in his and said "Do you know the stories of the Opera Ghost?"**

**I looked at him and said "Yes, but they are only stories meant to frighten children. Aren't they?"**

**He shook his head no and said "No my dear Lesta, the stories are very real."**

**That is when I realized who this man who sat before me was, and it all started to make sense. **

**I slipped my hands from his and stood up and walked across the room to where his 'Don Juan Triumphs' had fallen.**

**I knelt down and picked it up and walked back across the room and handed it to him.**

**He took it and looked at me as if I were the most confusing creature he had ever seen.**

"**It was written for someone else and I don't think I want it here."**

**I turned and walk to the door and exited the room leaving him sitting there with his thoughts.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17:**

**I walked back to my room and sank down into the chair.**

**I had a lot to think about and I hoped he would not follow me back here.**

**I thought about all the stories I had heard; like the times it was said he had tried to kill the Diva (I think her name was Carlotta or something like that.).**

**Also how the murder of a Joseph Buquet had been linked to him.**

**And the incident with the chandelier.**

**But what haunted my mind the most were the tales of Christine Daae.**

**How it was said that he had taught her to sing and then kidnapped her and had made her choose between life and death.**

**Would he at some point give me the same choice?**

**No, I doubt it. He would know what my choice would be.**

**And he had already stopped me from making that choice.**

**I must have sat there for hours.**

**A knock at the door brought me out of my thoughts and I stood to answer it.**

**I found Laddie standing there holding my dinner tray.**

**I took it from him and sat it on the table.**

**But when I turned around to thank him he was gone.**

**And then for the next several days the only person I saw was Laddie. And that was only when he brought me my meals or changes of clothing.**

**But he never stopped long enough for me to ask him any questions.**

**I finally ended my self imposed exile and ventured out of my room.**

**I walked around Erik's home looking at different items and wondering where Erik and Laddie were.**

**But then again I didn't know this place very well and was afraid to venture very far.**

**After a while I decided to go to the library.**

**But as I turned the corner I saw Erik coming towards me.**

**I stopped where I was and just looked at him.**

**And he did the same to me.**

**We stood there staring at each other until Laddie came running up with a note for Erik.**

**Breaking the silence Erik said "It seems Nadir will be paying us a visit tomorrow. ****He has seemed quite worried about you and your absence. Even though I told him it was self inflicted."**

**His tone was so harsh.**

**I began to shake and I wanted to kill him.**

**He started to walk toward me, but I held up my hand and told him.**

"**Don't touch me. Don't ever touch me again."**

**He stopped and looked at me.**

**Tears were streaking my face and I told him. **"**I think you've done enough damage to me for this life time."**

**He looked confused and asked "What is it that I've done to you Lesta? I have not even come near you in days. I respected your privacy! No I think I deserve more than this!" **

**His temper was rising and I didn't care. I almost wanted him to hit me, to beat me.**

**I fired back at him. "Respect…? What do you know of respect? What does a man that kidnaps and rapes women know of respect?"**

**He stormed nearer to me and I lifted my chin and hissed at him "Go ahead, hit me, beat the life which is growing inside of me to death."**

**Erik froze and looked down at me. "What did you say?"**

"**I said I'm pregnant."**

**He started to shake and tears dripped from beneath his mask.**

"**Pregnant…"he whispered as he collapsed to his knees covering his face with his hands.**

**I wanted to reach out to him, but I didn't.**

**I just stood there looking down at him.**

**Suddenly his arms went around me and he pulled me to him.**

**Burying his face in my stomach he cried.**

**I could stand it no longer and pushed him away from me.**

**Stumbling backward I almost fell but caught myself by clinging to the wall.**

**I wanted to get away from him. So I turned and ran to the library.**

**Slamming the door behind me I leaned against it.**

**Moments later Erik knocked on the door and said "Lesta may I come in."**

**I moved away from the door and crossed the room. I wanted to put some distance between us when he entered.**

**He knocked again "Please Lesta."**

"**It's your home, do as you like." I cried.**

**He opened the door and stepped into the room.**

"**Please leave the door open" I begged.**

**I did not want to feel trapped.**

**He nodded and came farther into the room.**

"**Don't Erik; please don't come any closer to me."**

**He stopped and held his hands out to me. **

"**Please Lesta do not fear me."**

"**Why shouldn't I fear you Erik?"**

**He had no answer.**

**He started to step toward me again.**

**I let him wrap me in his arms and hold me.**

**Crying I told him:**

"**Erik I know you don't love me. I heard what you said to Nadir that day."**

"**I always thought I would find love and get married and have children with a man that adored me."**

"**You don't have to lie to me or pretend that you care about me. I know why you brought me here. I only hope that you will care for this child I carry."**

**He stepped back from me and said "I said those words out of anger. But that is not the way I feel now."**

"**I do care about you Lesta. I do adore you. I will worship at your feet if you will only allow it."**

**I turned away from him and wrapped my arms around my body.**

"**I'm tired Erik and I want to return to my room."**

"**I will escort you." He said as he touched my shoulder.**

**I took his hand in mine and let him lead me to my room.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18:**

**I climbed onto the bed and curled myself into a ball.**

**Erik sat on the side of the bed and stroked my hair as I cried.**

**After I had become calm, or at least silent he stood to leave.**

**I caught his hand and asked him to stay with me.**

**He nodded his head and sat back down on the bed.**

**I pulled at him until he rested his back against the headboard.**

**I laid my head in his lap and pulled his arm around me as I curled my body against his leg.**

**He put his other hand on my head and caressed my hair and began to sing.**

**_Hush… my beauty, now do not cry_**

**_The night wind has come to sing a lullaby_**

**_Do not fear, for I am here_**

**_My strong arms will hold you and draw you near_**

**_Hush… My beauty now close your eyes_**

**_The night wind comes to sing a lullaby_**

**_The stars in the heaven shine down upon you_**

**_There's nothing to fear for I am with you_**

**_Hush… My beauty now rest your mind_**

**_The night wind has come to sing a lullaby_**

**_Your guardian stands watch while you rest_**

**_Dreamland awaits and beckons your steps_**

**_Hush… My beauty, now sleep awhile_**

**_The night wind comes to sing a lullaby_**

**_The night wind comes to sing a lullaby…_**

**As he sang I closed my eyes and listened. **

**My body relaxed and I fell to sleep.**

**When I woke up he was still there holding me.**

**Maybe he did care.**

**I lifted my head and looked at him.**

**His eyes were closed and I thought he might be asleep.**

**But when I tried to move away from him he caught my hand and kissed it.**

"**How long was I asleep?" I ask as I rubbed my face.**

"**A few hours" he replied.**

"**And you stayed here the whole time?"**

"**Where else did I have to be?"**

**I just looked at him as I slid off the bed and run to the bathroom as a wave of nausea washed over me.**

**As I emptied the contents of my stomach into the basin I felt his hand touch my back.**

**Humiliated I wanted to push him away.**

**But another wave of nausea hit and I could do nothing but obey my body.**

"**I will get something to help you." He said as he hurriedly left the room.**

**After I finished being sick I washed my face and rinsed my mouth and headed back into the bed room.**

**Erik came back carrying a cup that smelled so strongly of mint that it made me gag.**

**I pushed it away not wanting to repeat what had just happened.**

"**Please Erik take that away I can not stand the smell of it." I said as I covered my mouth with my hand.**

"**But it will help you."**

**I screamed "Get it away from me!" as I ran back into the bathroom.**

**Erik followed me and rubbed my back as I retched into the basin again.**

"**It will be alright" he said soothingly.**

"**What do you know, you're a man." I said as I started to cry.**

**Sobs wracked my body and he tried to hold me, but I pushed him away.**

**As I started to stand I felt my head being to spin.**

**I allowed him to help me back to bed and as we sat there Laddie knocked on the door.**

**He was holding a plate of crackers and grinning from ear to ear.**

**I asked him why he had brought them here.**

**He sat them on the bed side table and went in search of something to write on.**

**I watch as he scribbled and scratched out line after line.**

**Finally satisfied he handed me the note.**

**I have watched**

**_Preg_**

**_Women who are with child _**

**_Women eat them. Make you feel better._**

**I smiled at him and said thank you.**

**Taking one from the plate as he held it up to me, I nibbled at it.**

**It did seem to help.**

**Erik watched me eat the crackers.**

**He seemed ready for me to run to bathroom at any minute.**

**But the cracker did settle my stomach and I started to feel much better.**

**After resting a little while longer I started to get restless and wanted to get up.**

**Erik wanted me to stay in bed but I just glared at him and got up anyway.**

"**I want out of this room for a while."**

**Erik stood and crossed his arms and looked down at me.**

"**Please Erik I don't want to fight with you."**

**He bowed his head and after wrapping a blanket around my shoulders he helped me to the couch in the main room.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19:**

**For the next few months Erik hovered over me, barely letting me leave his sight.**

**I would sit for hours listening to Erik play his music. **

**He was also teaching Laddie how to play and the boy was almost as good as his teacher. **

**Laddie would play with such passion, almost as if he were using the organ as his voice.**

**At other times Erik would teach Laddie about history or literature or mathematics. **

**Laddie seemed like such an eager student and was always ready to learn whatever Erik wished to teach him.**

**As I watch the two of them together I dreamed of what kind of father Erik would be to this child I carried.**

**He truly seemed to love Laddie and the boy loved him in return.**

**I wanted to join them. To be apart of there lives, but something held me back.**

**I always kept my distance even when we would sit at the same table for meals.**

**Then one day as I watched Erik going about his tasks I asked "Why did you choose me?"**

"**I have told you why I brought you here." He answered as he turned to look at me.**

"**Yes you have told me why you brought me here" I said as I touched my stomach. "But what I'm asking is why me? You could have chosen any other woman, but you picked me, and I would like to know why."**

**Erik sat down and seemed to think about my question. Then he said "I suppose you're going to want the entire sorted tale then." **

**I nodded.**

**Sighing he said "Do you remember that musical score I took from you in the library?"**

**I nodded yes and said "Don Juan Triumphs."**

"**Yes, my Don Juan Triumphs. Well my dear, the part of the flower girl was written after I first saw you." He sighed again and then laughed a short bitter laugh and continued "Christine was to play you, or at least my image of you."**

**I looked at him and said "So I had caught your notice even while you courted Christine."**

**He looked at the floor and said in a quiet voice "Yes".**

"**But you would not have persuaded me if Christine would have stayed." **

"**No" was all he would say.**

**I was beginning to get angry and I shouted at him "Then why didn't you just force Christine to stay?"**

**He looked at me and said "Things with her were complicated and I couldn't make her stay."**

"**But you could kidnap and force me to stay? That doesn't make any sense Erik."**

"**It wasn't like that Lesta; I didn't set out to 'kidnap' you."**

"**Then tell me Erik; tell me why I ended up here, and not her or someone else?"**

"**I would have left you alone even after Christine left me. But the simplest answer to your question is that I could not stand by and watch your guardian sell you to a whore master."**

"**But he would not have done that. I just know it. He was so kind too me and he cared for me like my own father."**

"**You know nothing!" he shouted as he leaped from the chair.**

**I recoiled from him. **

**His anger frightened me and I didn't know if he would hurt me or not.**

**Seeing my fear he calmly said "Lesta I heard him as he talked to the man about you and how your beauty could earn them both a lot of money."**

**I could only stare at him as he spoke.**

**Could what he said be true? Had Monsieur James been planning to sell me?**

**Then another thought came to my mind and I whispered "So you decided too make me your whore instead."**

**He stopped and looked down at me.**

**I could see the hurt in his eyes.**

**Then he said "No. I did not bring you here for that purpose alone. I brought you here to protect you from the cruelty of men."**

"**But Erik, did you not say that you wanted me to bear your children, and do I not carry your seed with-in me now?"**

"**Yes. I said those words, but I want so much more from you than just your body."**

"**And what of our marriage, is it real or is it only a piece of paper?"**

"**It is very real Lesta, and I view you as my wife and not my whore."**

"**Are they not the same thing Erik? A wife and a whore, what does it matter when the woman feels no passion for the man she lays with?"**

**I could see that I had hurt him deeply, but I didn't care, and if he thought I was going to picture him as my hero, he was wrong.**

"**I have tried to be good to you. I have given you a safe place to live. Have you gone hungry or without since I brought you here?"**

**It was my turn to feel bad and I looked at the floor when I answered him "No".**

"**You try to call yourself my whore, but I have only lain with you one time and that was as a husband consummating his marriage to his wife. I am sorry I took you the way I did, but I only wished to lessen your anxiety over the act. I have truly meant you no harm. And if I have harmed you I am sorry for it."**

"**You have harmed me Erik. You have terrorized me and tormented me and then you ask me not to fear you. You even locked me in that room and burned me with the lights. And you want my forgiveness? I'm sorry but I can not forgive you for the things you have done. I fear you Erik. I fear what you will do to me next if I anger you or if I displease you in some way."**

**I was beginning to cry and I was angry at myself because of my tears.**

"**Please Lesta; can we not learn to be as man and wife? I only wish to care for you and our child." He pleaded as he tried to put his arms around me.**

**I pushed him away and said "I don't want or need your pity."**

"**I know I am monster. My own mother turned from me because of my hideousness, but I had hoped that if I could just prove myself to you, you would learn that I am a man."**

**I looked at him and said "I do see you as a man Erik. Your face, your mask mean little too me now. Granted at first I found your mask frightening, but not now. No Erik, I've learned to fear the Man behind the mask."**

**He looked like a man defeated as his shoulders slumped forward and his head hung low. **

**When he spoke even his voice sounded lost. "I can not release you; it would be far too dangerous for both of us." **

"**All I can do is continue to care for you and hope that someday you will learn to trust me and maybe care for me in return."**

**A silence fell over the room. **

**And then I said "Erik I don't know what to do" I had begun to cry. "I am so frightened. I feel like I'm going mad. One moment I am happy and excited about the baby, then the next I want to cry because I fear this child I carry."**

**Erik knelt in front of me and pulled me to into his embrace as he whispered "There is nothing to fear Lesta. And you are not going mad. What you are feeling is normal for a woman in your condition."**

**I pulled back from him and looked into his eyes (His beautiful eyes.). **

**Where had that thought come from? **

**Then I looked away from him and whispered "I just feel so lost and alone."**

**His voice was so tendered as he said "But you are not alone. You have me."**

**I looked back at him and thought how can I explain to him that I was alone and he was the reason for it.**

**I knew if I spoke those words they would crush him.**

**Did I really want to do that? **

**Oh how his eyes pleaded with me to accept him.**

**I was being torn apart.**

**Part of me wanted to hurt him as he had hurt me so many times.**

**And the other part of me wanted to cling to him and let him take care of me.**

**Looking away from him again I said "I'm tired and I need to rest and think about what has been said today."**

**Before I could move he lifted me in his arms and carried me to my room.**

**As he turned to leave he said "I will check on you later." **


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20:**

**As the next days passed neither Erik nor I spoke about what had happened.**

**But I could see in his eyes that he hoped I would learn accept and trust him.**

**Then one day as I sat and watched Erik and Laddie I started to feel strange.**

**My stomach started to cramp and I began to sweat. **

**It wasn't bad at first.**

**But when I started to get up it felt like someone took a knife and stabbed me in my gut.**

**I cried out as I fell to the floor and Erik was immediately at my side.**

**Lifting me, he carried me to his room.**

**I begged him not to put me in his coffin.**

**He placed me on a chaise longue and opening a panel he went into his bathroom.**

**He returned with a glass filled a strange looking liquid and some towels.**

**I tried to get up. I felt like I needed to use the toilet, but Erik pushed me back against the cushions.**

"**Please stay still Lesta… try to be still."**

**I was in a lot of pain and feared for the child I carried.**

**My body was covered in sweat, but I felt like I was freezing.**

"**Laddie, bring me some blankets." Erik ordered.**

**And Laddie ran to get them.**

**I felt fluid gush from between my legs and then an object passed from my body as wave after wave of pain passed over me.**

**I screamed and tried to lift my skirts, but Erik held me down and brought the glass of liquid to my lips and forced me to drink it.**

**Another searing pain ripped through me and I fell back against the cushions trying to catch my breath.**

"**Please Erik help me, help our child..." I cried.**

"**Just lay back and relax, it will all be over soon."**

**What did he mean?**

**What was happening to me?**

**I wanted to scream.**

**I wanted to fight him and make him tell me what was happening.**

**But I could do nothing but lay there.**

**I had never felt so hopeless in all my life.**

**He lifted my skirts and spread my legs.**

**Picking up a towel me place it against me down there. **

**My eyelids were starting to get heavy, but before they closed I thought I saw Erik hand Laddie something wrapped in a towel.**

**When I woke up I was in my bed and my clothing had been changed.**

**I now wore a nightdress.**

**I looked around for Erik, but only saw Laddie curled in the chair.**

**The reality of what had happen hit me and I began to cry.**

**I had lost the baby.**

**I suddenly needed to see Erik and to know what had happened to the…the baby.**

**Looking at Laddie I asked "Where is he?"**

**Laddie shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.**

**I could tell he had been crying.**

"**Please Laddie just tell me where he is."**

**Laddie shook his head and shrugged his shoulders again.**

**I was starting to get angry and I yelled at Laddie "Dammit I know you know where he is. You know these tunnels as well as he does, so please don't lie to me. I need to see him. I need to be with him."**

**Laddie shook his head again.**

"**Fine if you won't take me to him, I'll just have to go by myself." I said as I threw the covers off of me and got out of bed.**

**I was weak but determined.**

**I grabbed my robe and started for the door.**

**Laddie ran up to me and grabbed my hand.**

**Trying to pull me back to the bed he shook his head and tried to plead with me with his eyes.**

"**Laddie please this is something I have to do. You're young and may not understand but the child was mine too and I need to know what became of it."**

**Laddie looked at me. He seemed to be thinking things over and then nodded his head.**

**I followed him down the steps and across the room. **

**He stopped and took a cape from a hook and handed it to me.**

**Then he ran and got a lantern and lit it.**

**He lead me across the beach and over to a wall. Reaching up he triggered a lever and the wall opened.**

**Once we were inside the tunnel the wall closed and we started to walk.**

**After what seemed like miles we spotted a light up ahead and I could hear someone weeping.**

**I knelt down and told Laddie to stay were he was.**

**He nodded his head.**

**I walked toward the light and saw Erik sitting against the wall with his face in his hands.**

**It broke my heart to see him like this and I began to cry.**

**Looking up Erik saw me and flew into a rage.**

"**How did you get here? Get out! Get away from me!"**

**Then he spotted Laddie and screamed at him "Why did you bring her here? I will kill you if I get my hands on you!"**

**I heard Laddie drop the lantern and run. His footfalls echoed through the tunnel.**

**But I never once took my eyes off Erik.**

**He turned back to me and said "I should never have dreamed of being like normal men."**

**Then he sank to the ground and put his hands on our child's grave.**

**I went to him and fell to my knees beside him. Placing my hand on his arm I said "Can you forgive me?"**

"**Forgive you? Forgive you for what?"**

"**For not being strong enough too carry your child…Our child."**

**Tears ran down my cheeks and feel to the ground.**

**I looked at his hands and saw they were covered in blood and dirt.**

"**It's not your fault. I should never have brought you here. I should never have planted my seed within you. I know what kind of monster I am."**

**He would have continued but I stopped him by saying "You are no monster Erik, you are a man."**

**He looked at me and pulled me into his arms and we sat there at our child's grave in silence.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: **

**Time passed and I feel into a deep depression.**

**I turned from Erik and any comfort that he tried to offer.**

**I knew that he was hurting also.**

**I could see the pain in his eyes every time I looked at him.**

**And I couldn't reach out to him.**

**So I turned from him and forced him away from me.**

**So Erik spent more and more time wondering the tunnels or just being gone.**

**Laddie would try and cheer me up by doing little magic tricks that Erik had taught him.**

**Nadir would visit and seemed truly concerned for both of us.**

**He tried to explain to me that it was not unnatural for a woman my age to miscarry with her first child.**

**I would just thank him for his concern and wonder away.**

**On some of his visits I would hear him and Erik arguing loudly. But I never cared to listen or to know what it was about.**

**I had stopped bathing and I hardly ate. I would spend hours in bed or in the library reading the same words in the same books over and over again.**

**Erik and I hardly spoke to each other. **

**It wasn't out anger. It was just we didn't know what to say.**

**I had become a ghost.**

**Then one day I saw a calendar that Laddie had hung, and realized I had been here over a year.**

**I looked around my home and knew that this was where I belonged.**

**There was no life for me above.**

**I also knew that Erik was all that I would ever have.**

**I was the Phantom's bride, but I had become the phantom.**

**A shade that traveled from shadow to shadow, avoiding touching the light.**

**My hearing had become very sensitive to the different sounds here in my home.**

**I knew when Laddie was here. I knew when Erik came and went. **

**And one evening I decided it was time for me and Erik to talk.**

**It was my only hope for salvation. **

**I needed my husband and I knew that now.**

**It had taken me months to discover, but now I knew.**

**I also knew that if he turned from me I would die.**

**(A least my pain would end.)**

**I took a bath and put on the night gown and robe I had worn the day Erik had given me the library.**

**Then I waited for him to come home.**

**I stood and looked at myself in the mirror. The nightgown did not cling to me like it did then. I had lost so much weight and my skin had become so pale it almost looked translucent. My eyes were sunk in and my cheeks were hollow. **

**The only thing about me that had retained any of my former beauty was my hair.**

**It hung in curls down to my waist and still retained part of its old luster.**

**I heard the panel slide open and then closed.**

**I took a deep breath and walked to my door.**

**Opening it I waited for Erik to come up the stairs.**

**As he ascended the steps to the landing I stepped from my room.**

"**Erik, may I speak with you?"**

"**Can it wait? I'm very dirty and would like to clean up."**

"**I guess." I said dejectedly. Then in a rush I continued "But after, will you please come to my room."**

"**If you wish, but I am very tired. Are you sure this can not want till another time?"**

"**No Erik, I need to speak with you tonight." **

**I knew if we did not speak tonight we never would.**

"**As you wish then" he replied.**

**I went back into my room to wait for him.**

**Time seemed to pass so slowly.**

**I paced the floor and tried to think of what I wanted to say.**

**I had wondered in the darkness for so long.**

**And Erik was my only change of escape.**

**Then his knock came and I rushed to the door.**

**Pulling it open I saw him standing there dressed in a pair of loose black pants that tied at the waist and his robe which he had left open.**

**My breath caught in my throat at his sleek masculine beauty.**

**Had he become more muscular?**

**I tore my eyes away from him and stepped back from the door to allow him entrance.**

**He walked across the room and settled him self in the chair.**

"**What it is you wish speak about?" **

**I opened and closed my mouth but no words came out.**

**I tried to sit on the couch, but I was too nervous.**

**I paced the floor. I tried to speak but the words kept getting caught in me throat.**

**He watched me.**

**I could tell he was getting aggravated by my lack of speech.**

"**I can see your upset, but maybe we should try this another time." He said as he started to stand. **

**I ran forward and pushed him back into the chair.**

"**Please don't leave me." I begged.**

"**Then say what you mean to say and stop wasting my time."**

**His voice was so harsh and I wanted to cower away from him.**

**But I found my voice and started to speak.**

"**Erik, I know you blame me for what happened to our…" **

**I could bring myself to say the word.**

"**No Lesta I don't blame you for our child's death. I blame myself. I should never have…"**

"**No Erik!" I cried. "It was my fault and we both know it. So I do not want to hear you blaming yourself."**

**He just sat a stared at me.**

**I went on saying "Even Nadir said that it isn't unnatural for someone like me to loss a child."**

**Erik growled at my mention of Nadir's name.**

"**Please Erik I feel so empty." I was being to cry.**

"**What is it you want me to do then?" He asked.**

"**Do you wish your freedom? Then I grant it. You may leave here anytime you wish."**

**My freedom… The words rang hollow in my ears.**

**What did freedom mean to me now? **

**What did the world hold for me?**

**I was his wife. **

**For better or worse I was his wife and that would not change.**

**I fell to knees in front of him and placed my hands on his thighs.**

"**No Erik please don't send me away, the world holds no place for me now."**

**He had stiffened at my touch, but I would not remove my hands.**

**I needed to touch him. **

**I wanted him to touch me.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22:**

**He looked down at me and said "What game are you playing at my dear?"**

**He lifted my hands from his legs and pushed me aside as he stood.**

**I grabbed his hand and said "Please Erik don't leave me. I need you."**

"**Need me?" He looked confused. "Why would you need me?"**

"**I need you to make me whole again." I said as I stood up.**

**He just stood there and looked at me as if I'd gone mad.**

**Maybe I had. Maybe I was crazy. But did it matter? I knew what I needed and that he was the only one who could give it to me.**

**And at that moment I knew what I had to do.**

**My hands shook as I removed my robe and let it fall to the floor.**

**I stared into his eyes as reach up to remove my nightgown.**

**As it fell to the floor he looked away from me.**

"**Erik please, I know I'm not as beautiful as I once was. But please don't turn away from me." Tears ran down my face as I pleaded with him.**

"**Do you know what it is you ask for?" He said bitterly. **

"**Yes Erik, my husband, I know exactly what I ask for. ****And I know if you leave me now it will kill me, as surely as if you ran a dagger through my heart."**

**He turned back and looked at me.**

**I wanted to both cover myself and run to him at the same time. **

**But I just stood waiting for him to choose.**

**He seemed so torn. I could tell that he wanted me. But I could also see that he was afraid.**

**His hand trembled as he held it out to me.**

**I stepped forward and took it.**

**He began to lead me from my room, but I stopped and said "No. I want you here in my bed, not your coffin."**

**He stopped and looked at me and at my bed.**

"**Please Erik." I started to pull him to my bed. **

**He hesitated and I let go of his hand and climbed on to the bed.**

**Laying back I offered my body to him. Placing my hands above my head I said.**

"**Please Erik, touch me, use me, fill me with yourself."**

**He approached the bed slowly, watching me, as if he were waiting for me to say no.**

**As he came to stand beside the bed he ran his hand down my body and I shivered.**

**He immediately pulled his hand away from me and I felt like he taken a part of my soul with it.**

**I watched him and waited for him to touch me again, but he stood there staring at me.**

**I could stand it no longer and I reached up and took his hand in mine and brought it to my lips. I gently kissed his fingers and then turning his hand over I kiss the palm. **

**I could feel him trembling as I guided his hand toward my breast. **

**I arched my back and brought his hand into contact with my flesh.**

**It was as if electricity crackled in the air.**

**He closed his eyes and moaned low in his throat as I ran his hand across my breasts.**

**I released his hand and sat up turned to face him. I rose up onto my knees and brought my hands to his chest.**

**I slide my hands across his chest opening his robe and pushing it down his arms trapping them at his sides.**

**Then I trailed kissed across his chest as he stood there frozen. **

**I licked and suckled his nipples as he had mine that first time we had been together.**

**Then I moved my hands down his chest to his stomach. Softly caressing his muscles there, then teasing and toying with his belly button, dipping my finger in and out of it. **

**This act seemed to drive him mad because his breath quickened and he tried to untangle his arms from his sleeves.**

**I did not relent but replaced my finger with my tongue dipping and swirling it in and around his navel, as I worked my hands to the top of his pants.**

**I had just started to untie the knot holding his pants when he finally managed to untangle his arms. **

**He grabbed my wrists and pulled me roughly up his body as he growled low in his throat. I thought I heard him say "You will pay…"**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23: **

**He crashed me to his chest as his arms wrapped around me.**

**His fingers caught in my hair and he rained kisses down my neck as he pulled my head back.**

**I pressed my body against his and wrapped my arms up and around his shoulders from under his arms.**

**He pushed me back against the bed and stood over me looking down at my body.**

**I started to reach for him again but he took my wrists in his hand and pulled them up and over my head.**

**As he held my wrists in one hand he caressed my body with the other. **

**He brought his knee upon to the bed beside me and leaned over me.**

**So now he had one leg between mine and one beside me and my arms above my head while his other hand explored my body.**

**I was his prisoner to do with as he would.**

**His hand fondled my breast as his thumb teased my nipple to life.**

**Then he did the same to the other breast. **

**As he released my breast and looked down at me I arched my back offering them back too him as I whimpered.**

**He lowered his head toward me and captured one of my nipples in his mouth as his hand returned to my other breast.**

**Oh what he was doing to me; Suckling one nipple while teasing the other with his thumb and fingers. **

**Then raising he head he looked in to my eyes as his hand traveled down my body.**

**When his hand reached my womanhood I spread my legs as best I could and lifted my hips.**

**But his hand just passed over that part of me and traveled onto my thighs.**

**I cried out in frustration and tried to pull my wrists free, but he held me tightly as I squirmed in his grasp. **

**He watched me as I twisted and arched.**

**I finally cried out "Please Erik I surrender."**

**His fingers finally touched me where I needed to be touched.**

**He gently slid his fingers inside me as his thumb caressed my bud of desire.**

**I was still being held by him, but now he had even more power over me.**

**I thrust my head back into the mattress and arched my hips as high as I could.**

**Finally he released my wrists and I started to reach for him, but as my arms left the bed he removed his hand from between my legs and shook his head no.**

**I threw my arms back over my head and he returned his hand to between my legs.**

**Each time I would try to raise my hands; he would start to remove his. He seemed to enjoy forcing me to submit to him.**

**He was slowly teasing me and driving me mad. **

**I tried to close my legs to hold his hand there but his leg kept mine apart. **

**I was his toy and he knew it. **

**His too tease and play with at his leisure. **

**I was grasping the sheets above me head and moving my hips in time with his caress.**

**And then I was being brought over the edge and my body began to shake.**

**Sweat covered my body and began to pant as I rode the waves of my orgasm. **

**I opened my eyes and saw Erik staring down at me. He had removed his hand and had placed it on the bed next to my hip.**

**I was still panting but I said "Please Erik make love to me. Take me and make me yours. Fill me with your seed."**

**I raised the hands and gently ran my fingers across his chest. **

**And then I wrapped my arms around his neck as I brought my lips to his and kissed him.**

**He tried to push me away but I held tight.**

**I was afraid he would leave me.**

"**Please Erik I need you so badly" I whispered in his ear.**

**I removed my arms from around him neck and slid back on the bed so that I could sit up.**

**He stood there looking at me and then said "What if my seed takes root again?"**

"**Then so be it. I will proudly carry your child Erik." **

**I would have said anything to keep him with me. For this was the most alive I had felt in a very long time.**

**I slid towards him and untied his pants. **

**He stood there frozen as I slid them down his legs.**

**Then I touched his manhood and it spring to life in my hands.**

**He tipped his head back and groaned deep in his throat as I caressed him.**

**Then he brought his hand over mine and pulled my fingers from their exploration of his hardness.**

**Then leaning forward he lifted me in his arms and moved me so may head rested on the pillows.**

**He came to lie beside me on the bed and ran his fingers over my body.**

**Raising up he brought his lips to my neck and trailed kissed across my throat and then down to my breast. **

**As he suckled each in turn I brought my hands up and ran my fingers through his hair. Arching my back I offered more of myself to him.**

**His hand traveled down my body and I spread my legs eager for him to caress my womanhood again. **

**His fingers found my bud of desire and he began to tease and play with me again.**

**I arched and squirmed and cried out as another wave of pleasure over took my body.**

**Erik had been watching me intently as he played with my body. He seemed almost fascinated with my reactions to his touch. **

**He moved his hand back up my body caressing and fondling my breasts.**

**Then he began to position himself on top of me. I spread my legs wider to give him room.**

**He looked into my eyes and said "Lesta, are you sure this is what you wish."**

**His voice washed over me and I cried "Yes, Erik yes."**

**Reaching up I tried to press my body to his.**

**I moaned as his manhood entered me and he stopped.**

**Looking down at me he said "I will not bring you pain this time."**

**My mind spun at his words. Was he stopping? Would he not continue? Was he preparing to leave me like this?**

**I clung to him and thrust my hips forward bringing him deeper inside of me.**

**He growled low in his throat at my actions and whispered "There is no turning back now."**

**He pressed his hips forward until his manhood was completely within me.**

**I wrapped my legs around his hips and began to ride him from beneath, rocking my hips up and down.**

**He shoved his hips forward and impaled me to the bed.**

**I cried out as the air was forced from my lungs at his sudden movement.**

**Then he began to slowly withdrawal himself from me.**

**I clung to him and tightened my muscles around him.**

**As he would have exited me he trust back forward impaling me to the bed again.**

**Over and over again he repeated this action gradually increasing in speed.**

**I was becoming breathless and my head began to spin as wave after wave of passion over took me.**

**I clung to him as tightly as I could and begged him to never let this feeling end.**

**And them I felt his body stiffen and his seed shoot into me like molten lava, branding me as his once again.**

**After a few more thrusts he rolled away from me.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24:**

**Cold air washed over my body and I turned and clung to him for warmth.**

**I was struck again by the thought of how his skin was usually so unnaturally cold, but now he gave off such a heat that it warmed my very soul.**

**He lay there panting and covered in sweat I as pressed my body to his.**

**Finally he wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of me head.**

**We laid there in silence holding one another as our breathing became more normal. **

**Then suddenly he said "Pray to your god that my seed does not take purchase. I do not wish for you too go through that pain again."**

**As he said those last words his voice broke and he began to cry.**

**He started to push me away and get up but I clung to him and begged. **

"**Please Erik don't leave me. Stay here with me tonight." **

**I began to cry.**

**He touched my face and wiped away my tears. **

**Looking in to my eyes he brought lips to mine and kissed me.**

**Then he lay back down beside me and covered both of us with the blankets.**

**I fell asleep in his arms listening to the music of his heart beat and deep regular breathing.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**When I awoke I was alone.**

**I wondered if it had all been a dream.**

**Sitting up I whispered his name and put my face in my hands and cried.**

**The door to my room slowly swung open and Erik stood there holding a tray of food.**

**He saw me crying and quickly sat down the tray and came to the bed.**

"**Are you in pain?" he sounded worried.**

"**I did not mean to hurt you last night, and if did I am sorry for it."**

**I looked at him and said "So last night wasn't a dream after all."**

**He answered "No. It was no dream." **

"**Oh Erik" I said as I threw myself into his arms.**

**He stiffened at first. But as I clung to him he relaxed and brought his arms around me and held me.**

**I finally pulled away from him and looked into his eyes.**

**Then I asked "Do you regret what happened?"**

**He turned away from me and I cried out "Please Erik I am your wife!"**

**Quickly wrapping the sheet around myself I went to stand in front of him.**

"**Erik please look at me." I took his hand in mine.**

"**What would you have me say?"**

"**Tell me what is in your heart."**

"**My heart?" He laughed a short bitter laugh.**

"**Then tell what you are thinking then."**

"**Do you really wish to know?"**

"**Yes Erik, I do."**

**He sighed and said "Last night was beautiful, but it can not happen again."**

"**Why Erik, why can't it happen again?"**

**He looked at me as if I were daft and said "What if I lost control and hurt you next time? Or worse and you became pregnant?"**

**I thought for a moment and said "That's the chance I'm willing to take to have my husband, Erik. ****Please don't make me return to that dark and lonely place I've just escaped from."**

"**Tell me something Lesta. Do you think you could ever love me?"**

**I looked at him and the words he had said to Nadir all that time ago filled my head.**

**Then I spoke and said "Erik you are my husband."**

"**But that does not answer my question."**

"**Do you love me Erik?"**

**He looked as if I'd just slapped him.**

**I went on to say "Do you Erik? Because if you don't I can live with that. I don't have any false illusions of life anymore. Anyway, you told Nadir along time ago that love and marriage are too completely different things. And that love is not a requirement in a marriage."**

**He growled and walked away from me. Going over to the door he grabbed it and slammed it hard sending a loud crack echoing through the room.**

**I jump and backed away from him as he turned and stalked back toward me.**

"**Don't you ever turn my words against me!" He roared as he towered over me.**

**I trembled with fear and said "Please don't hurt me. I didn't mean to…to upset you."**

**His body shook as he stood there clinching his fists.**

**Then in a quiet voice he said "What was said that day was not meant for your ears."**

**He reached out and touched my face. **

**I trembled and tried to hold my ground and not pull away from him.**

"**I am a very dangerous man, Lesta. But I am also a man of deep passion. And you would do well not to try and deliberately insight that passion."**

**His words stung me and without thinking I said "Then am I to remain untouched for the rest of my life?"**

**His eyes were red with rage and I tried to cower away from him. But he followed me and grabbed me. **

**Pulling me to him he grabbed my hair and pulled my head back and hissed "So you wish to be touched."**

**Ripping the sheet from my body he took my breast in his hand and squeezed it causing me to cry out in pain.**

**Then he threw me across the bed and climbed on top of me. **

**Roughly spreading my legs apart he pulled his manhood from his pants and plunged it into me. Driving himself in and out of my womanhood he began to rape me.**

**Then he stopped and looked down at me and said "Is this not what you wanted?"**

**I cried and shook my head no as I tried to push him away from me.**

"**Then tell me what you want Lesta." He said as his manhood throbbed inside me.**

**I couldn't answer him.**

**He thrust himself inside me again. And I cried out "Not like this Erik."**

**I rushed on saying "I want it to be like it was last night. Please Erik your hurting me."**

"**But isn't this what you said, that you would risk me hurting you just to have me in your bed?" He said as me ground his hips against mine.**

**I whimpered and said "Yes Erik! Yes that is what I said, but I didn't mean it like this."**

"**Then say what you mean." He growled and thrust himself into me again.**

"**Please Erik your hurting me."**

"**I mean to hurt you and I will keep hurting you until you answer me." He thrust into again. **

**I cried out "Please Erik I'll tell you anything you want to hear. Just please stop."**

"**No" He started to thrust his hips in and out of me again.**

"**I hate you Erik, I really hate you!"**

**He stopped and looked down at me. "Do you?"**

**I looked away from him and whispered "I don't know" as tears ran unchecked from my eyes.**

**He pulled himself out of me and turned and fixed his pants.**

**Then he threw the sheet at me.**

**I just laid there for a moment staring at him.**

**Then I stood up and wrapped the sheet around myself.**

**I sat on the edge of the bed and cried.**

**Erik walked over and sat down on the chair and watched me.**

**I hated the way he stared at me. It was as if he could see into my very core.**

**With a wavering voice I asked "Why…? Why did you do that…that to me?"**

"**Why did I force myself on you, is that what your asking?"**

**I nodded my head.**

"**I did it because I could. And I can, and I don't take kindly to being played with."**

"**But I didn't…" I stopped when I heard him growl.**

**Oh how he frightened me.**

"**Yes you did Lesta."**

"**How…" I cried at him.**

"**When you turned my words against me; when you said that you would chance being hurt to have me in your bed and the worst one of all is when you said you would carry my child."**

**I looked at him shocked by his words.**

"**Oh yes Lesta I knew you were lying."**

**I lowered my head and looked at the floor. **

**A knock sounded at the door and my head snapped up as I looked at it, then at Erik.**

**I didn't want Laddie to see me like this.**

**I got up and tried to make my way to the bathroom but Erik caught me, and pulled me to his side as he stood.**

"**Please Erik let me go." I begged. **

"**No" he growled. "You said you wished for my touch."**

**I couldn't argue with him.**

**He twisted my words to suit himself.**

**I lowered my head and walked with him to the door.**

**Laddie stood there with a note in his hand.**

**He tried not to look at me as Erik took the note from him.**

**Had he heard what had just happened? **

**I was mortified at the thought.**

**Erik read the note. **

"**I'll be there shortly" he told Laddie.**

**Laddie nodded and hurried away.**

**Whatever the note had said seemed to excite Erik and he released me.**

**I quickly stepped away from him.**

**He turned to me and said "I have to go now." **

**Then in a more menacing tone he said "But do not worry we will finish this conversation."**

**I trembled and closed my eyes. Bowing my head I said "As you wish."**

**I felt his fingers caress my hair and then I heard the door close.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25:**

**I ran to the bathroom and threw up.**

**My nerves were raw and I laid on the floor and cried.**

**When I was finally able to get up I ran a hot bath and scrubbed my skin until it almost bleed.**

**Going back into the bedroom to dress I saw the tray Erik had brought earlier.**

**I lifted the lid and looked at the food.**

**Picking up a piece of bread I put some jam on it and ate.**

**As I went to replace the cover I saw the rose laying there and I started to cry again.**

**Why did he have to be like that? **

**One moment kind and caring, even gentle, and then the next a monster.**

**I pick up the rose and carried it with me as I went to the closet and pulled out some clothes.**

**I dressed in a plain white shirt and a charcoal grey skirt.**

**Still carrying the rose I walked bare foot from the room and headed to the library.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I curled up on the couch after giving up on being able to read.**

**My mind was to preoccupied with thoughts of last night. Plus what had happened this morning to be concentrated on the words.**

**I held the rose in my hand and stared at it.**

**I lay there for what seemed like hours.**

**A knock snapped me from my dream world and I knew it was Erik coming to complete our talk.**

**I sat up and said "Come in." not even turning to look.**

**I felt his hands on my shoulders and realized I was still holding the rose.**

"**So you found it." He whispered.**

**Opening my hand I let it fall to the floor.**

**Only then did I notice how tightly I had grasped it.**

**The thorns had imbedded themselves into my flesh.**

**Looking at my hand I laughed bitterly as a tear slipped from my eye.**

**I squeezed my eyes shut to hold back the flood I knew waited there.**

**Erik came around the couch and knelt before me and took my hand in his.**

**I opened my eyes and watched as he examined my hand.**

**Standing he left the room, only to return moments later with a tray of supplies.**

**I let him remove the thorns and apply an ointment to my palm. Then he wrapped it in a cotton bandage.**

**But as he lifted it to his lips I jerked my hand away.**

**As he stood and sat the tray aside I said "Thank you."**

**He walked across the room to the book selves.**

**Leaning against it he crossed his arms and looked at me.**

**He was dressed in a white shirt that opened at the collar and brown pants.**

**He looked handsome to me.**

**I wanted to go to him and have him hold me in his arms.**

**But then the image of this morning flashed before my eyes.**

**I trembled and looked down at the floor.**

**I saw the rose had been crushed.**

**It must have happened when he had cared for my hand.**

**Then I saw the book I had been reading earlier.**

**I could sit no longer so I grabbed it and stood.**

**Walking to the bookshelf farthest from where he stood.**

**I returned the book to its place among the others.**

**As I stood there with my hand still on the book I felt him behind me.**

**I knew all I would have to do is step back and I would be in his arms.**

**My body ached to be in his arms.**

**But my mind screamed no.**

**I felt like I was being ripped apart. **

**His fingers caressed my hair and I began to lean back.**

**But then I jerked myself forward and if my hands had not been in front of me I would have collided with the bookshelf.**

**Gripping the shelf I whispered "Erik please don't do this to me."**

"**And just what am I doing to you?" He said as he stepped closer to me.**

**He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me against his chest.**

"**Is this not what you wanted? Did you not wish for me to touch you?"**

"**Yes Erik" I cried.**

**My body was beginning to tremble as he just stood there holding me.**

**Then he suddenly released me and stepped away.**

**I had to grab the book shelf to keep from falling to my knees.**

**I felt lost and alone.**

"**Please come and sit down." He said as he stood behind the couch.**

**My legs were shaky as I walked across the floor.**

**Making it the couch I sank into the cushions.**

**He placed his hands on my shoulders.**

"**I have a question to ask you Lesta and I require an honest answer."**

**I tried to focus on what he was saying. But with him standing so close and touching me it was difficult.**

**I nodded my head and said "I will try to answer your question."**

**He stepped away from me and I began to relax.**

**Then knelling before me and looking into my eyes he said "If I tried to come to your bed tonight would you wish to bar your door?"**

**I tried to look away from him, but he caught my chin in his hand and turned my face back to his.**

**I closed my eyes so I would not have to look at his.**

"**Open your eyes Lesta."**

**I squeezed then tighter shut.**

"**I said open your eyes and look at me." Anger was starting to creep into his voice.**

**I complied with his demand and looked into his eyes.**

"**Now answer my question. Would you allow me entrance into your bed?"**

**I swallowed hard and search my mind for an answer.**

**Then I said "Erik I can not answer your question. I don't know what I would do."**

**He released my chin and stood saying "Fair enough."**

**I let out the breath I had been holding.**

**I watch as he paced to the room.**

**He looked like an animal trapped in a cage.**

**I was becoming frightened.**

**I wanted to leave this room and his presence.**

**I stood and started for the door.**

"**Lesta" I stopped at the sound of my name.**

"**What is it now Erik? I wish to go my room now and rest."**

**He stood behind me.**

**I wondered how a man could move so fast and so silently as to be in one place one moment and another the next.**

**He caressed my hair and said "I am like a man parched with thirst and you are an oasis. And now that I have tasted your sweetness I want more."**

**My hand trembled as I opened the door. Then after I burst through the opening I ran to my room and slammed the door behind me.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26:**

**I leaned against it and stared at my bed. **

**Images of last night and this morning flashed and mingled in my mind.**

**My nerves were so raw and my body shook.**

**I slid to the floor and wept into my hands.**

**Now I know how Pandora must have felt after opening the box.**

**I picked myself up off the floor and walked over to the bed.**

**At first it had seemed strange, leaving this room with the bed unmade and a mess; and then to return to find the room in perfect order and the bed made.**

**I knew it was Laddie doing it. But when I had tried to thank him and tell him he need not do such things he would only smile and shrug his shoulders.**

**He had even written me a note explaining that it was his duty to keep things in order here.**

**I ran my hand across the clean white comforter.**

**Would Laddie find it soiled in the morning?**

**I shook myself from my wayward thoughts and went to lie on the couch.**

**Pulling the blanket that draped the back of it over me I rested my head against the cushion.**

**I was so tired and emotionally spent that I don't even remember going to sleep.**

**I was jolted awake by a knock at my door.**

**Suddenly I thought he's come for my answer.**

"**Lesta, are you awake?" He called through the door.**

**Maybe if I remain silent he will just go away. At least that's what I hoped.**

**He knocked again, and then opened the door.**

**I closed my eyes and tried to pretend like I was asleep.**

**But when he stood over me I trembled.**

"**Do you fear me that much Lesta?"**

**I opened my eyes and looked up at him.**

**Turning away from me he said "We have a guest for dinner."**

**I sat up. Confused I looked at him. The only other person I had seen since I had been here other than Erik and Laddie was Nadir.**

**Erik laughed and said "It only Nadir, but I think to make a special occasion of his visit."**

**I still felt confused, but I stood up and walked over to the vanity.**

**As I began to brush my hair Erik came to stand behind me.**

**My hand began to shake at his nearness.**

**He took the brush from my hand and started to run it gently through my hair.**

**As he brushed my hair I leaned my head back.**

**His touch felt so wonderful.**

**He leaned forward and kissed me on my forehead as he laid the brush down.**

**Then he whispered in my ear "I want you."**

**My body seemed to melt as he said those words.**

**Standing back up to his full height he said "Our guest is waiting."**

**I wasn't sure if I could stand or not.**

**My body felt so weak.**

**Pushing myself to my feet and I slowly walked to where he was waiting by the door.**

**I followed him down the stairs still trying to compose myself.**

**But as I descended the last step Erik slid his arm around my waist and pulled me to him.**

**He held me against his side as we walked the rest of the way to where Nadir stood.**

**I began to sweat and my body trembled.**

**Was he doing this to me on purpose? I'm sure he knew the influence he had over my body.**

**Nadir bowed and said "I am glad you could join us Madam."**

**I nodded back at him not trusting my voice.**

**Nadir seemed to look at me more closing and said "Is everything alright Madam? You do not look like you feel at all well."**

**Erik interrupted Nadir "She is quite well I assure you. Are you not my dear?"**

"**Yes…yes I feel fine." I quickly replied.**

**Nadir nodded saying "If you say so Madam, but if you are feeling ill I could come back another time."**

"**No… Please stay." I cried before I could stop myself.**

**Nadir looked at me and then to Erik. **

**Before Nadir could say anything else Erik announced "I believe our meal should be about ready. We should make our way to the dinning room."**

**Erik nearly carried me as we went.**

**Erik seated me and Nadir took a chair across from mine.**

**Then excusing himself Erik left the room.**

**Nadir immediately leaned forward and whispered "Madam if I can be of any assistance please tell me."**

**I looked at the door Erik had gone through and then back at Nadir.**

"**Please Monsieur he will hear."**

**Continuing to whisper Nadir said "Has Erik harmed you?"**

**I was beginning to feel very nervous and frightened.**

"**Please I can not say anything. He will hear us. Please Monsieur I do not wish to anger him."**

"**So you are afraid of him?"**

"**Would you not be, if you were me?"**

**Hearing Erik's approach I sat back and looked down at the table.**

**He entered and set a tray upon the sideboard.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27:**

"**What have you been saying to Lesta in my absence Daroga? She seems quite upset."**

**I quickly looked up at Erik and said "Please Erik he has said nothing too upset me. I am just…"**

"**Please Lesta let my friend Nadir speak for himself."**

**I immediately looked back down fearing Erik was becoming angered.**

"**Well Erik if you must know I was asking her if you have injured her in anyway."**

**Erik had come to stand behind me. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he laughed.**

"**And did she tell you the horrors I have visited upon her? How I have you used her body for my own ends?"**

**I could see Nadir from under my lashes and I watch as he paled as Erik spoke.**

"**Is this true Madam Lesta?"**

**I could not answer him.**

"**Go ahead Lesta tell him. Tell him what he wishes to hear. For Nadir of all people knows what kind of monster I am."**

**Why was Erik doing this? **

"**Erik please, I do not think that Nadir needs to know these things." I whispered.**

**He lifted his hands from my shoulders and stepped to the sideboard that he had set the tray upon.**

**Lifting the lid he revealed a roast of beef with carrots and potatoes.**

**We watched as he deftly cut the meat with a sharp knife and fixed our plates.**

**Serving me then Nadir, Erik finally took his place at the head of the table.**

**We began to eat and the only sounds were from the silver scraping and clicking at our plates.**

**Erik broke the silence by saying "I think it is time that Lesta learns of the man she is married too."**

**I looked at Erik and dread crept around my heart. **

"**Erik I don't think I want to hear of your past."**

"**Aw but My Dear, my past seems to weigh heavily upon your future."**

**I did not know what he meant by that statement but it sent a shiver of fear down my spine.**

**Nadir interrupted "Erik can you not see that she is frightened enough as it is. Why do you wish to torment her more?"**

"**Because it is her right as my wife to know the things I've done." Erik said sharply.**

"**Erik I know you have done terrible things in your past, but I do not need them listed."**

"**But if I do not list them My Dear then how are you to know how truly horrid I am?"**

"**Erik please stop this nonsense!" Nadir shouted.**

**Erik's head swung toward Nadir and the two men glared at one another.**

**I tried to take that opportunity and began to slip from my chair. **

"**Sit down Lesta!" Erik ordered not even turning his head.**

**I immediately retook my seat. **

**Fear was coursing through my veins.**

**Nadir lowered his gaze to the table and said "You win Erik. No one can best you once you've set your mind to a thing."**

**Erik laughed and the tension in the room lifted slightly.**

**Then turning to me Erik said "I am a villain Lesta, and you would do well not to forget that fact. I have killed many men and at times I even gloried in it. Nadir can attest to my many crimes against humanity."**

**I looked at Nadir and he nodded solemnly.**

**As the horror of Erik's words sank into my mind I stood and fled the room.**

**I could hear him calling to me but I did not stop.**

**But instead of running to my room I ran to the secret door on the beach. **


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28:**

**I quickly pressed the lever and the wall slid open.**

**Ducking inside I began to run down the passage.**

**As the wall slid shut behind me I was plunged into blackness.**

**Moving forward I kept my hand against the wall. **

**I tried to remember the route Laddie had followed.**

**I heard the wall open behind me and I started to run head long into the darkness.**

**I could hear footsteps behind me and I knew in a matter of moments I would be caught.**

**I was terrified that if Erik caught me he would think I was trying to escape.**

**But in reality I wasn't. I knew I would never be able to leave this place. **

**I heard Erik warning me to stop. But I kept going.**

**Then my foot caught on something and I fell forward.**

**Landing hard I rolled over and sat up.**

**I started to try to pull my foot free when I heard Erik say "Don't move Lesta. What ever your instincts are telling you is wrong. Just please stay as still as you can." **

**He almost sounded like he was begging me to obey him.**

**I looked up and saw him approaching me slowly as Nadir stood behind him holding a torch.**

"**Please Lesta listen to me. If you move or try to pull your foot from the trap it will only tighten. It was designed in such away as to render a full grown man incapable of ever being able to walk again."**

**As he said those last words he knelt at my side and lifted my skirt revealing the cord that was wrapped around my ankle.**

**Reaching into his boot he drew out a knife.**

**As the light hit the blade I gasped and tried to pull away.**

**As I moved the cord tightened and I cried out in pain.**

**It felt like it was cutting my foot off.**

**Quickly Erik slid the blade between my flesh and the cord cutting me loose.**

**Sliding the knife back into his boot he ordered Nadir to give him his sash.**

**Nadir placed the torch into a crack in the wall and quickly unwounded the sash from around his waist.**

**Erik took it from him and began wrapping it around my ankle.**

**The pain I felt was intense and I cried out for Erik to stop.**

**He paused and said "I will give you something for the pain when we get home but for now you must be brave."**

**Nadir had come to knell at my side and took my hand in his and whispered "Erik knows what he's doing Madam."**

**I took a deep breath and nodded for Erik to continue.**

**Nadir remained at my side and tried to comfort me.**

**By the time Erik finished wrapping my ankle the pain had lessened enough for me to speak.**

**I looked at Erik and said "I wasn't trying escape."**

"**Then what were you trying to do, if I may ask Madam?" Nadir asked.**

**Erik answered for me "She was trying to make her way to there."**

**He pointed to the grave.**

**Nadir nodded and gently squeezed my hand.**

**I looked over to where Erik pointed and noticed that he had place a stone on it.**

**I began to try to push myself up. **

**I wanted to go over there.**

"**Don't try to get up." Erik said.**

**I lowered my head in frustration.**

**I was so close.**

**Nadir sensing my need knelt and lifted me in his arms and carried me the last few steps.**

**As he placed me beside the grave Erik grabbed him and spun him around.**

**Snarling at him Erik and said "No one touches my Wife!"**

**Slamming Nadir against the wall Erik drew his fist back.**

**Nadir began to plead with Erik to stop and to think about his actions.**

**I forced myself up off the ground and tried to hobble over to them. But as soon as I tried to take a step pain coursed up my leg and I cried out as I fell.**

**Erik was immediately at my side.**

"**Why did you do that?" He asked.**

"**I couldn't let you hit Nadir." I whispered as Erik lifted me in his arms.**

**Nadir pulled the torch from the wall and followed us as we made our way back through the tunnel.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Erik placed me on the couch.**

**Stepping back he said "I need to get a few things to treat your injury."**

**And then he was gone.**

**Nadir took a seat across from me and said "I wish to thank you."**

**I looked at him and said "I couldn't let him hurt you."**

**Nadir leaned back in the chair and said "I wonder how long Erik will be gone."**

"**What does it matter Monsieur? He comes and goes as he pleases."**

**Nadir leaned forward and looked at me.**

"**Madam if I may ask, why have you not tried to leave?"**

"**I guess there are many reasons." I mused "First of all I am his wife, for better or worse. Secondly; Fear. Oh yes Monsieur I do fear him. He has told that me that he would kill to keep me here and I do not doubt him. And lastly; where would I go. There is no place for me up there. So Monsieur I stay. At least here I have a warm place to sleep and food to eat. And a jailer that at times seems to almost honestly care about me."**

**Nadir seemed shocked by my statement.**

**I continued "I know that every day I stay could be my last." I gave short bitter laugh and went on. "Oh but is that not true for every woman who is married to a violent man. You asked me earlier if Erik has ever harmed me."**

**Nadir nodded.**

"**He has harmed me in many ways Monsieur but I suspect you wanted to know if he has ever struck me. My answer to that would be no."**

"**You said he has harmed you in other ways Madam."**

**I looked at him and replied "It does not matter Monsieur. Anyway I think I hear him approaching and it would not do to be caught talking of such intimate matters."**

**Nadir looked at me strangely and said "How do you know he is coming?"**

"**I have lived here long enough to know the subtle changes and the different sounds." I stated plainly.**

**He just shook his head as Erik stepped into the room.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29:**

**Erik carried a sack of items over his shoulder as he entered.**

**Walking over to where I laid on the couch he placed the sack on the floor.**

**He then walked over to the mantle and took down a box.**

**Coming back over to me he opened the box and sat a vile on the table. Then he took out a syringe and a short piece of leather.**

**I was becoming nervous watching him.**

**What was he going to do to me?**

**Nadir saw my anxiety "I think you should explain to her what you are going to do, Erik. **

**Looking at me, Erik said "I need to give you this (pointing to the vile) to help ease your pain."**

"**I am not hurting Erik, I don't want that." **

"**That may be, but when I begin to treat your ankle there will be pain."**

"**Please Erik." **

"**Hush Lesta, allow Erik to do what is best for you." Nadir said.**

**I looked at Nadir and he gave me a reassuring smile.**

"**Are you sure?"**

"**I would not give you this if I did not feel it necessary." Erik said gently as he took my arm and began rolling up my sleeve. **

**I wanted to pull away from him.**

**Erik nodded to Nadir.**

**Nadir took my arm from Erik and held it.**

**Erik tied the leather cord around my arm and lifted the syringe.**

**I tried to watch but Erik said "Cover her eyes Nadir."**

"**No Erik." I was beginning to panic.**

"**Hush, it will make it easier if you do not watch." Erik said in his most gentle tone of voice.**

**Nadir's hand covered my eyes and I felt the needle slide under my skin.**

**At first it felt like my arm was on fire and then I began to relax.**

**Nadir lifted his hand from my eyes and released my arm.**

**I watched as Erik turned my body and placed my foot upon the table.**

**He unwound the sash from around my ankle, and I waited for the pain.**

**But it did not come.**

**I felt as if I were floating.**

**Nadir seemed worried about something as he spoke to Erik.**

**I didn't care.**

**A song my mother used to sing came to my mind.**

**I tipped my head back and began to hum and sing.**

**_Spread your wings my angel _**

**_Fly to heavens gate_**

**_No harm will there befall you_**

**_As rest you there will take_**

**_Unfurl your wings to glory_**

**_Let the moonlight shine_**

**_The stars in heaven twinkle _**

**_And dance the dance of time_**

**I wondered why Erik was looking at me so strangely.**

**Was there something…**

**Then I remembered my ankle and looked down to see it was loosely wrapped in a cotton bandage.**

**I looked around the room.**

**I needed to focus.**

**Where was Nadir?**

**I was starting to get nervous.**

**Had something happened?**

**My body began to shake and I felt like I was going to be sick. **

**Erik smoothed my hair from my face. "Relax…Rest…All is well… there is nothing to fear."**

**As he spoke I began to relax.**

**Hours must have passed.**

**I opened my eyes and looked around the room.**

**Erik was sitting in the chair across from me with his eyes closed.**

**I was lying on the couch with my foot propped up on pillows.**

**It felt like something was moving under the bandage on my ankle.**

**Wondering what the strange sensation was, I began to sit up.**

"**Lay still Lesta."**

**I jumped at the suddenness of his voice. **

**I had thought he was asleep.**

"**There seems to be something under the bandage."**

"**I know." He said.**

**I was becoming confused and frightened.**

"**Please Erik tell me what is happening."**

**He stood and stepped around the table.**

"**I will assist you."**

**Placing one hand behind my back and the other under my legs he turned me so my foot was on the table.**

**I was I like a doll in his hands.**

**Knelling beside the table he proceeded to slide my skirt up relieving the bandage and my leg.**

**He trailed his fingertips down my leg to the top of the bandage.**

**I trembled at his touch.**

**The things he made me feel deep inside caused me to long for more of his touches.**

"**Are you in pain?"**

"**No."**

"**Then why do you tremble so?"**

**I looked away from him as I felt myself start to blush.**

**He laughed and said in a husky voice "I have a cure for that ailment also."**

**Then he began to run his hand up my leg.**

**Oh how I longed for him to touch me.**

**But I could not allow this to happen.**

**I quickly covered his hand with mine and said "No Erik, not now, not here."**

**He sighed and said "Another time them."**

**I looked around the room worried that Nadir or Laddie might have been present.**

"**Where is Nadir?" I asked.**

**Erik growled and said in a gruff tone "I sent him away hours ago."**

**Turning his back to me Erik began to unbind my ankle.**

**As the last of the wrappings came off I saw what I had felt moving against my skin and let out a gasp.**

**Attacked to my skin were leeches.**

**I felt like I was going to be sick.**

**I tried to speak but I could only whimper as I tried to remain still.**

**Then Erik began speak: "They will not harm you Lesta. I had to place them on you too help reduce the swelling."**

"**I do not understand. How can those hideous things help me?" I said in a shaky voice. **

"**They draw the bruising and swelling of excess blood from your injured tissues." He explained patiently.**

**Then he said in a quiet tone "Just because something looks hideous doesn't always mean it is harmful. There are many things that appear ugly, but if one would only look more closely would they see the good in it."**

**I began to feel guilty as he spoke. **


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30:**

**After Erik had removed the leeches and rewrapped my ankle I sat there watching him pace the room.**

**He looked like a wild animal stalking to and fro, and I was becoming frightened.**

**My voice trembled as I tentatively said "Erik".**

**He stopped and looked at me.**

**I could not look into his eyes as I said "I'm sorry."**

**Suddenly he was kneeling beside me taking my hand into his and bringing it to his lips.**

**I just sat there afraid to move. I had no idea what he was thinking or what he was going to do next.**

**He had become so unpredictable of late.**

**I laughed silently to myself at my last thought.**

**He had always been unpredictable and frightening.**

**Suddenly I wanted to pull away from him, but knew if I did there was a chance I would have to face his wrath.**

**So I sat there dreading his touch.**

**Then he was turning my face toward his. His eyes searching mine as he asked the same silent question that he had asked so many times before.**

**Could I learn to trust him and not to fear him?**

**I closed me eyes and tried to turn my head from his touch.**

**His hand slipped from my jaw and he stood and turned his back to me.**

**He looked so tall and his shoulders broad but he narrowed at his waist.**

**Why did it seem that even as he asked for my trust he was doing everything in his power to cause me not to trust him?**

"**Erik" I wanted to try and ask him why that was, but he interrupted me.**

"**You must be tired." He said as he turned back to face me. "I will take you to your room so you may rest." **

**Before I knew it I was in his arms and he was carrying me across the room.**

**It seemed so strange that I could feel so safe in his arms and yet fear him so much.**

**I rested my head against his shoulder and brought my arms up to loosely drape them around his neck.**

**He stopped walking and looked down at me.**

**I tipped my head and looked up into his beautiful eyes.**

**So much had passed between us in my time here, but it seemed like nothing would ever change. **

**I looked away from him and he started walking again.**

**As he sat me down on the bed I kept my arms around his neck not ready to lose that feeling of safety I always felt in his arms.**

**Then suddenly I remembered how cruel he had been earlier.**

**How he talked of being a villain and a murderer.**

**Pulling away from him I slid across the bed until my back rested against the headboard.**

**What had I been thinking?**

**He himself had warned me to be careful.**

**As he stood there looking down at me I wondered if he was going to follow me onto the bed.**

**Just the idea of being in his arms made my heart begin too race.**

**Did I want him to join me?**

**No! But yet part of me did.**

**Breaking the stillness he said "If you need anything just call to me."**

**Then he turned and walked out leaving the door open.**

**I lay there staring at the doorway almost wanting to cry.**

**I heard him begin to play his music and the notes tore at my soul.**

**Why? I cried to myself. Why did he seem to have so much power over me?**

**Why did his touch make me feel so alive? Why did I feel like I could drown in his eyes?**

**I wanted to scream. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn't. **

**He had hurt me so badly so many times, but with one look into his golden green eyes I was lost. With the gentlest touch of his cold hand a fire in me would ignite and I would burn for him.**

**I shook myself and tried to think of other things, but my mind wondered back to him.**

**Maybe it was the medicine he had given me still working with in me making me think these thoughts. **

**Maybe… Hopefully that was all it was.**

**When I woke up I could still hear him playing.**

**Sitting up in the bed I looked at the door to the bathroom and thought I can make it that far. **

**I did not need his help I reasoned; at least not for something so personal.**

**Slipping from the bed I bit back a yelp as my foot hit the floor.**

**Looking toward the open doorway I prayed that Erik had not heard me.**

**Slowly I began to hop toward the bathroom.**

**It seemed to take forever and with ever short hop a jolt of pain would travel up me leg.**

**But I managed to make it and as I opened the door I heard Erik stop playing.**

**My mind raced as I feared he would come to check on me and find me standing here.**

**What would I say?**

**What would he do?**

**I began to shake as I clung to the door for support.**

**Then he began to play again.**

**I let out a sigh of relief as I hopped into the bathroom to relieve myself.**

**As I returned to my bed I stumbled and before I could stop myself I placed my weight on my injured ankle.**

**Crying out in pain I fell to the floor.**

**Before I could move Erik was standing over me.**

"**What do you think you are doing?" He growled.**

**I curled myself into a ball afraid of him.**

"**Please Erik. I was only …"**

**How could I tell him that I had not wanted to call him for something so personal? **

**He knelt down and touched my shoulder.**

**I jerked away from him.**

"**Are you injured?" He asked in a soft tone.**

"**No" I said as I sat up sliding back from him.**

"**Then will you please tell me what you were doing." He asked again.**

**I blushed and looked down into my lap. **

"**Lesta, I asked you a question, and I want an answer."**

**I could hear the anger returning to his voice.**

**I shook my head and tried to speak but no words came from my lips.**

**Trying to slide farther away from him I pressed my feet to the floor.**

**Too late I again realized my mistake as pain shot through my ankle and up my leg.**

**Before I could regain my composure Erik scooped me up into his arms and began to carry me to the bed.**

**I clung to him as my head rested against his shoulder.**

**How could one man make me feel so safe and so terrified at the same time?**

**Standing beside the bed still holding me in his arms he looked down into my eyes as I looked up at him.**

**Then he spoke: **

"**Lesta if you do not stay in this bed and allow your ankle to heal I will chain you to it."**

**My blood ran cold.**

**Just the though of being chained and helpless terrified me.**

**The idea of beings so totally at his mercy seemed a nightmare.**

**Clinging to him I trembled and shook my head no.**

"**Please Erik. No… I mean yes… I mean I'll do as you wish, just don't chain me please."**

**Laying me down on the bed, Erik sat and unbound my ankle.**

"**You're a lucky lady Lesta; it seems you have not done anymore damage to yourself."**

**Then turning he looked at me. **

"**Would you like to get clean?"**

**Looking down at myself I realized I was still wearing the same clothes I had put on I don't know how long ago.**

**Maybe it just felt like it had been days, but as I looked at the grey skirt and white blouse I could see how filthy they were. **

**Looking back up at him I nodded.**

"**Fine, I will run you a bath." He said with a wicked look in his eyes.**

**My breath caught in my throat as I realized what he was implying.**

**Curling back against the headboard I shook my head no.**

**Leaning towards me he said "Then how do you expect to get clean?"**

"**It just… You wouldn't… I don't…" Hanging my head I couldn't finish what was screaming in my brain.**

**I felt his fingers stroke the side of my face. Then he lifted my chin so I was looking into his eyes.**

"**I have seen you before Lesta." He whispered.**

**A trimmer ran through my body at his nearness.**

**Looking away from him I said "But this is not the same Erik. And anyway, last you saw me… You hurt me."**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31:**

**I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he turned away from me.**

**Then in a soft broken voice he said "I will not ask your forgiveness for what I did to you, because it is unforgivable."**

**He stood there with his back to me, his shoulders slumped and his head down.**

**Was he crying?**

**Just looking at him broke my heart.**

"**Erik" I said timidly. **

**He didn't move.**

"**Erik, please look at me." **

"**Why?" he whispered.**

"**Erik, please. If you don't, I'll have to come over there." **

**Spinning around he said in a stern voice "You would not dare."**

**In that moment I knew what I had to do. I had no choice. If he was going to rape me or murder me what did it matter. I was his prisoner and his wife. I had been here for more than a year and no one had come looking. I was sure no one even cared anymore. Was my name even remembered above? And if I would die, would anyone mourn me? I doubted it.**

**Squaring my shoulders, and reaching for the top button of my blouse, I looked at him and said "Would you please run me a bath. I would like to get clean".**

**He stood and stared at me, a look of confusion in his eyes.**

"**Are you saying that you trust me Lesta?"**

"**Do I have a choice Erik? You need not answer that, for I already know the answer."**

"**So you don't trust me?"**

**I laughed a short bitter laugh and said "It doesn't even matter Erik. To trust you or not, I have no choice in what happens. I can only hope that you do not hurt me again."**

**He stepped toward me and reached out his hand and touched the side of my face.**

**Whispering he said "So beautiful and so strong."**

**It was my turn to be confused. **

"**I don't understand. What do you mean by strong? I am not strong Erik."**

**I was beginning to get upset and I cried out at him "Look at me! I can't even take care of myself!" I slammed my fists down against my legs. "Why do you mock me Erik?"**

"**But you are strong Lesta. Maybe not physically, but you are strong."**

**I looked at him and shook my head no.**

"**Lesta, how many people do you think could go through what I've put you through and still be able too survive?"**

**I just continued to stare at him.**

**Sighing he continued "I have made grown men beg for death. And yet you are ready to bare yourself to me and look me in the eye as you do it. I call that strong."**

**I looked away from him and thought if he only knew how weak I really am.**

**Then looking back at him I said "Believe what you want Erik. I will not argue with you about this."**

**Still looking at him I unbuttoned my shirt and started to let it slip from my shoulders.**

**Staring at me Erik inhaled deeply and said "I will run your bath now." **

**Walking around the bed Erik made his way to the bathroom as I removed the rest of my clothing.**

**I pulled the sheet over myself and waited for Erik to return to carry me to the bathtub.**

**I wondered if this time he would allow me my modesty or would he carry me naked in his arms.**

**I heard the water shut off and knew Erik would be coming for me soon.**

**Sitting up and wrapping my arms around my knees I sat staring at the bed afraid to look up at him.**

"**Lesta, your bath is waiting." He said.**

**As I looked up at him my breath caught in my throat.**

**He had removed his shirt and now stood there bare to the waist.**

**The way the candle light played across his sleek muscle made me ache for him.**

**He was so masculine and strong. **

**Just looking at him made me feel weak.**

**I quickly looked away from him fearing what was to come.**

**I heard him chuckle low in his throat.**

**It was such a deep and sexual sound, that it made me want to give myself over to him.**

**Why did he seem to have so much power over me?**

**I pressed my forehead against my knees and squeezed my eyes tightly shut trying to regain control over myself.**

**Then I felt his hand caress my back and I looked up into his eyes.**

**They were so deep and I felt like I wanted to swim in them.**

**He reached out and took the sheet into his fist and gently pulled it from me.**

**I did not fight him. I allowed him to take the sheet from me and reveal my nakedness.**

**He stepped back and looked at me.**

**I tried to avoid his gaze. **

**I knew what was to come. **

**Then he stepped forward and lifted me in his arms.**

**He held me with my bare skin against his bare skin and I began to tremble.**

"**Are you cold?" he asked. **

"**No" I whispered in a hoarse voice ashamed of my body's betrayal. **

**And then he laughed and said "Oh Lesta my wife, I can't believe that you would desire me." **

**I looked up into his eyes and almost told him that yes I did desire him.**

**But instead I just lowered my gaze and rested my head against his shoulder.**

**Then he began to carry me to the bath.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32: **

**As he carried me into the bathroom he pushed the door closed with his foot.**

**Hearing it close made me more nervous than I already was.**

**I knew it was irrational but the thought of being alone with him like this, in such a small room frightened me.**

**I wanted to scream and try to push myself away from him.**

**But I knew it would anger him and I already knew how dangerous he could be when he was angered.**

**I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror, and the image that we made.**

**His strong arms holding my delicate frame made my heart beat faster.**

**Why did things have to be the way they were between him and me?**

**He had said that he wanted to be my husband, but then his actions said something completely different.**

**He lowered me into the warm water and I could smell the scents of the salts he had added.**

**I pulled my knees up to my chest and hoped that he would leave me to bathe in private.**

**But then he reached out and caressed the side of my face and said "Allow me to help you Lesta."**

**I looked at him and said "Please Erik. Please don't."**

**Then I saw a smile on his lips and he said "But you are my wife Lesta and it is my duty to care for and too help you."**

**I looked back at the water surrounding me and said "As you wish."**

**There was no sense in fighting and arguing with him, for I knew he would win.**

**I heard him chuckle as he picked up a pitcher of water.**

"**Tip your head back Lesta so I may wash your hair."**

**I did as he told me and allowed him to wet my hair.**

**Then he picked up a dish of liquefied soap and began to work it through my hair.**

**His fingers were ever so gentle as he massaged my scalp and then as he worked his way from root to tip.**

**When he was finished lathering my hair he picked up another pitcher of water and rinsed all the soap out.**

**Then he gathered my wet hair in his hands and twisted it up on top of my head and pinned it there.**

**I hoped he would leave me to finish on my own.**

**But he didn't.**

**Reaching across me to ledge on the other side of the tub he picked up the sponge and soap.**

**Dipping them into the water he lathered the sponge and began to wash my back and shoulders.**

**I had to admit it did feel good the way he gently washed my back using a circular motion. Slowly working his way down and then back up again until he had my back fully lathered. **

**I began to relax.**

**But as his hand started to travel over my shoulders to my chest I stiffened.**

**Could I let him do this?**

**Could I let him bathe me?**

**No!**

**I brought my hand up and covered his with it.**

"**Please Erik." I begged unable to look at him.**

**He laughed and let the sponge slip from his fingers.**

**Standing he said "If I leave you to finish on your own, do I have your word that you will call me when you wish to get out of this tub?"**

**I looked up at him and said "Yes Erik, you have my word."**

**What else could I say?**

**I was trapped. If I said no he would stay and continue to torment me. **

**At least this way I would have a small amount of privacy and peace.**

**As he was leaving the room he turned back to me and said "I will leave the door ajar so I may be able to hear you better."**

**I sat there shaking and trying not to cry.**

**Then retrieving the sponge I quickly finished scrubbing myself clean.**

**I did not know how soon he would return and I did not want him to watch me as I bathed.**

**The warmth of the water and the aroma of the salts were relaxing me.**

**Oh how I wanted to stretch out and let my senses go.**

**But I feared his return so I sat with my head on knees allowing the warmth of the water to soak into me. **

**I heard a tapping at the bedroom door and then Erik talking to Laddie.**

**What he said made me even more worried:**

"**No Laddie, she will not be needing those for she will not be leaving her bed."**

"**Yes fresh sheets are in order."**

"**I will be staying here with her so you may bring our meal here. And also bring me my night wear."**

**I curled myself into a tighter ball and pressed my head against my knees.**

**What would I not be needing?**

**And the thought of him staying in my room made want to panic, but I had to control myself. I could not let him see what he did to me.**

**Oh please, watch over me and give strength, I prayed.**

**I heard Laddie return and Erik thanked him and told him to bring dinner in an hour.**

**I sat there in shock not knowing what to do.**

**It's not as though I could run away, even if my ankle was healed.**

**Would he hurt me again?**

**Would he continue to torment me until I broke?**

**His knock brought me out of my thoughts.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33:**

"**Lesta, are you finished bathing?" he said through the door.**

**Maybe I could just drown myself, I thought.**

**But no, I could never do that.**

"**Yes Erik" I said in a shaky voice.**

**There was no reason to lie, or delay what was to come.**

**He pushed the door open and entered.**

**I could not look at him.**

**I felt him reach into the tub at my feet and release the water.**

**Soon I wouldn't even have that to cover me.**

**He knelt down and caressed my neck and shoulder.**

**Clearing his throat he said "If I help you to stand can you balance as I wrap a towel around you?"**

"**Yes" was all I could say.**

**He turned my shoulders towards him and slipped his hands under my arms and began to help me to stand.**

**Looking at the floor I balanced on my good leg as he wrapped a towel under my arms and secured it with a clip above my breasts.**

**Then he placed his arm around my shoulders and one behind my knees and lifted me from the tub.**

**I noticed his chest was still bare and my heart started to race again.**

**He turned and sat me on the stool and started to dry my shoulders and arms with another towel.**

**Then kneeling before me he dried my feet and legs, but as his hands moved up past my knees I snapped out of my daze and covered his hands with mine.**

"**Please Erik; allow me at least a small amount of dignity."**

**He turned his hands over so are palms touched and took my hands into his. I watched as he lifted them to his lips, then he said "I do not mean to demean you Lesta. I only wish to care for you."**

**I looked away from him.**

**He seemed so sincere, but could I believe him.**

**I knew how fast he could change and it worried me.**

**He continued to kneel before me holding my hands.**

**Was he waiting on me to say something?**

**I looked back at him.**

**His eyes were so bewitching, and I was afraid if I didn't look away soon I would be lost.**

"**What do you want from me Erik?" I said as I looked past him.**

**He seemed confused for a moment.**

**Then he smiled and said "Only what you wish to give me."**

**I looked back at him as tears filled my eyes.**

**What did I have to give him?**

**My heart?**

**My Soul?**

**But then if I gave him those things what would he do with them?**

**No. I could not let him have those things.**

**He was so close to me and I could feel myself being drawn to him.**

**Wanting to be in his arms; wanting him. **

**No! My mind screamed.**

**With a shaky voice I said "Please Erik, your killing me."**

**Suddenly he stood up as if I had burnt him.**

**Then stepping behind me he started to unbind my hair.**

**I saw how his hand shook as he picked up a brush.**

**Then he whispered "Forgive me. I did not mean to make you feel threatened."**

**I tried to collect my thoughts, but as he gently brushed my hair all I could do was think of his hands.**

**After he had finished brushing my hair he rested his hand upon my shoulder.**

**Without thinking I reached up and placed my hand on his as I leaned my head against it.**

**Realizing what I had done, I froze.**

**I was at his mercy and did I really wish to encourage him?**

**Taking a deep breath I pulled my hand away from his and moved my head so I was looking at the floor.**

**I was beginning tremble again.**

"**Lesta, please do not fear me. I truly mean you no harm." He said as he caressed my hair.**

"**But Erik you've gone out of your way to make me fear you. Or have you forgotten our dinner with Nadir and what you did to me in there." I said as I pointed to the bedroom.**

**I wrapped my arms around myself as I remembered how he had hurt me.**

**He knelt behind me and wrapped his arms over mine and pulled me against his chest.**

"**As I said before, what I did to you was unforgivable and I plan never to repeat such a horrendous act against you again."**

"**Please Erik… please stop this madness." I begged.**

"**You are my wife Lesta, and I only wish to care for you. Won't you please let me care for you?" He said as his warm breath caressed my neck.**

**Oh how I longed to believe him.**

**But how could I with everything that had happened.**

"**I… I can't Erik. I just can't." I could feel his muscles starting to tighten and I knew he was becoming angry.**

"**Please Erik. Please don't be angry with me." I begged fearing what he might do to me.**

"**Why do you torment us both so Lesta? You have already said that you wish my touch. Have you not?"**

"**Yes, I did say that, but… You frighten me Erik."**

"**Tell me what I may do to ease your fear, and it will be done." He whispered in my ear.**

**His voice and his hands enticed me.**

**Oh how I wanted to give into him: To give myself to him.**

**Allowing myself to lean back against him as I whispered "Don't hurt me Erik. I fear that you will hurt me again if I displease you."**

**I felt him stiffen as I spoke.**

**Then he pushed away from me and stood.**

**Looking down at me he said "I wish I could take back the harm I've done to you."**

**Then knelling before me and taking my hands into his he said "I promise to try and be the man you need me to be."**

**I looked at him wanting to believe what he said, but knowing how changeable and dangerous he could be.**

**What was I to do?**

**I pulled my hands from his and wrapped my arms around myself again.**

**Looking at him I said "May I at least have something more than this towel to wear or do you mean to keep me…?" I could not finish as I remembered what he had said to Laddie earlier.**

**He looked at me and smiled.**

**I was beginning to get nervous and said "Please Erik don't torment."**

**He stood and left the room returning moments latter carrying a nightgown for me to put on.**

**I thanked him as he handed it to me, and slipped it over my head.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34:**

**As Erik carried me back into the bedroom I asked him if I could sit on the couch instead of the bed for a while. **

**He agreed to allow it, but only if I would keep my foot on a pillow.**

**After he had placed me on the couch he turned and said "I will go see what is keeping Laddie with our meal."**

**While he was gone I decided to cover myself with the blanket from the back of the couch. But as I went to pull it over myself I discovered I was sitting on a good part of it.**

**Frustrated I looked at the door. **

**Was I really thinking of calling him for such a simple thing as a blanket?**

**Turning I sat my feet on the floor and thought this will only take moment and he'll be none the wiser.**

**But as I balanced on my good leg and turned to grab the blanket I heard him say "I can not trust you alone at all, can I?"**

**I froze and tried to think of something to say, but something told me not to say anything.**

**Then slowing turning around I sank back down onto the couch and hung my head and waited for him to speak again. **

**Fearing what he was going to say or do.**

**He came and knelt before me and lifted my chin from my chest so I would be looking into his eyes.**

**Then he said "Why do you insist on disobeying me Lesta?"**

**I tried to look away from him, but he held my face so I could not turn away.**

**Finding my voice I asked him "Are you going to punish me now?"**

**I was genuinely afraid of what he was going to do to me. **

**He had already threatened to chain me to the bed.**

**Would he?**

"**Please Erik don't chain me. I…I'm so sorry. I… I will try to do as you wish me too. Just please don't chain me." I begged as I began to cry.**

**He held my face in his hands and brushed my tears away with his thumbs.**

**Clearing his throat he said "I am not going to punish you Lesta, but I am very disappointed that you find it so hard to obey me."**

**Closing my eyes I breathed a sigh of relief.**

**Then he caressed my lips with his thumb and I immediately tensed and opened my eyes to find him staring at me.**

**He looked as though he wished to kiss me.**

**I could feel the fire inside me begin to ignite with longing and need.**

**My hands trembled as I raised them to his chest, allowing my fingers to caress his bare skin.**

"**Oh Lesta, you are so beautiful." He said in a husky voice.**

**I turned my face and kissed the palm of his hand. Then I rested my check against the place I had just kissed as he ran the fingers of his other hand through my hair.**

**My hands continued to explore his bare chest and up his neck to his face.**

**I felt him become tense as I traced his jaw with my fingers. Then as my fingers moved over my lips I saw his eyes close and his breath started to become ragged.**

**Moving my hands back down to his chest I whispered "Kiss me Erik."**

**He looked at me and said "Lesta are you…"**

**But I cut him off by saying "Please Erik, kiss me now before I…"**

**His lips met mine and his hand tangled in my hair.**

**I ran my hands up his body and encircled his neck with my arms as I pulled myself closer to him.**

**He parted his lips and as I felt him tongue brush against my mouth I parted mine giving him access to explore my mouth completely.**

**As our tongues intertwined and as we tasted each other I could not help but to moan from my need for him.**

**Erik ran his hand down my back pulling my body against his.**

**I could feel his chest pressing against mine through the thin material of my night dress.**

**My body was on fire for his at that moment and I would have granted him anything to continue this feeling.**

**I ran my fingers through his hair and down his back as I moved my body against his silently encouraging him to do more.**

**Pulling his mouth from mine he looked into my eyes and said in a ragged and breathy voice "Lesta, do you know what you are doing to me? If we continue I do not know if I will be able to stop myself. I must know, is this what you want? For if it is not you must tell me now."**

**Looking away from him I thought. **

**Is this what I want?**

**Oh but his arms feel so good.**

**If I allow this to continue can I trust him not to hurt me again?**

**Looking back into his eyes I could see his longing for me and I began to cry.**

**My emotions were so raw and being with him like this: **

**With his arms around me, holding me so tenderly against his bare chest.**

**Oh how I wanted to trust him. Too let him keep holding me and…and.**

**But my thoughts were interrupted by Laddie's knock upon the door.**

**Erik growled low in his throat and I reached out and grabbed his hand as he stood to answers Laddie's knock.**

**As he looked down at me I said "Please don't be angry."**

**Kneeling back down he quickly gathered me into his arms and whispered in my ear "Do not fear Lesta. I am not angry. It is only that I long so to hold you in my arms. And then in the rare moment that you… you submit to me fate must intervene."**

**Laddie knocked again and I whispered to Erik "The sooner you answer the door the sooner you will have me back in your arms."**

**Pulling away from me Erik looked into my eyes to see if I was serious in what I had said. **

**Then trembling he got to his feet and quickly went to the door.**

**Watching him my mind screamed at me to be careful.**

**I knew I was playing with fire. **

**But it felt so good to be in his arms.**

**I was not a fool.**

**I knew this moment wouldn't last.**

**I knew that the Erik that I had learned to fear would return.**

**Oh but how I wanted this moment to last.**

**He opened the door and Laddie entered the room carrying our dinner on a large tray.**

**Taking it from him, Erik sat the tray on the table and thanked Laddie for bringing it.**

**Laddie turned and smiled at me. **

**He was such sweet boy.**

"**Thank you Laddie. Thank you for everything you've done for me." I told him.**

**He nodded his head. Then he turned back to Erik to see if there was anything else that we needed.**

**Telling him no, Erik lead him to the door and told him to go and get some rest.**

**Nodding, Laddie left the room and Erik closed the door behind him.**


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35:**

**As Erik turned back to me I could see the look in his eyes.**

**But as he slowly walked towards me there came another knock at the door.**

**I saw him tense at the unwanted intrusion, but seeing the look on my face he shrugged and gave me a weak smile.**

**Turning back around he went to see what Laddie had forgotten.**

**I could not see what was happening as Erik stepped into the doorway.**

**Then I heard a sound that was as rare as sunshine in this dark world.**

**It was the sound of Erik laughing (truly laughing) and it brought more tears to my eyes.**

**Turning Erik came back into the room carrying a bottle of wine with two glasses in one hand and a rose in the other.**

"**I guess Laddie thought this would help us too relax" Erik said smiling.**

**I smiled back at him.**

**Sitting the bottle and glasses on the table next to the tray Erik came over and handed me the rose.**

**My mind immediately went back to the last rose I had received from Erik and I looked at my hand.**

**Seeing my reaction Erik knelt before me and pulled me into his arms as he laid the rose aside.**

**Whispering in my ear he said "Please Lesta, allow me to make you happy."**

**Pulling away from him I decided a change of subject was in order. **

"**What did Laddie bring us to eat?" I asked.**

**That simple question seemed to please Erik.**

**He stood and went over to the tray.**

**Lifting the lid he revealed a roasted chicken surrounded by baked potato wedges. A small loaf of sourdough bread and a bowl of apple and pear wedges.**

**It looked delicious.**

**Erik looked at me with a devilish glint in his eyes that made my heart race.**

**Then he said "I will only be a moment" before he left the room.**

**While he was gone I decided to take his advice from earlier.**

**Sliding over I turned and put my injured ankle back on the pillows.**

**Erik returned carrying a small round table that only stood about a foot high.**

**I asked what he was up to.**

**But he only said "You will see."**

**Placing the table by the couch, he went and carried the tray of food over and sat it atop the table. Then he knelt between the two facing me.**

**I looked at him and asked "What are you doing?"**

**He said "I am going to feed you." **

**Then he turned and tore a piece of chicken from the bone with his fingers and brought it to my lips.**

**I hesitated a moment before I opened my mouth and accepted the bite. **

**Then he feed me a piece of potato.**

**I had taken several bites before I realized he had not eaten anything.**

**Looking at him I said "Erik you must eat too."**

**He said "I am only hungry for one thing and I think you know what that is."**

**I blushed.**

**And then said "If you do not eat, then you may not have the strength for…"**

**He growled and said "Very well, I will eat."**

**Then he tore one of the legs from the chicken and sank his teeth into it and ripped a piece of meat off of it.**

**Swallowing he said "Are you pleased now?"**

**I looked at him and smiled.**

**Then I reached for the bowl of fruit.**

**He watched me as I held the bowl in me hand. **

**Then choosing a large piece of pear I brought it to his lips.**

**He took a bite and quickly chewed it.**

**Then he took the rest of the piece into his mouth as he captured my wrist with his hand.**

**He began to lick and suck the pear juice from my fingers.**

**I would have dropped the bowl if he had not taken it from me.**

**I was beginning to tremble and my breath caught in my throat.**

**Was this what I wanted?**

**Could I tell him no?**

**Did I want to tell him no?**

**Pulling my hand from his, I whispered "Please Erik."**

**I looked away from him and tried to calm myself.**

**Oh yes, I did want to be in his arms.**

**I wanted him to hold me and to touch me.**

**But the intensity of what I felt was overwhelming.**

**I could feel him watching me.**

**I turned back to look at him.**

**He seemed to be waiting. **

**The look in his eyes made my heart tighten in my chest.**

**He looked away from me and said "I did not mean to upset you Lesta. I only meant too…"**

**I reached out and put my fingers against his lips to silence him as I said "You didn't upset me Erik. I … I was just taken by surprise by how…by the way…"**

**I shook my head and said "You make me feel such wonderful and frightening things, and I don't know what to do." **

**I traced his lips with the tips of my fingers.**

"**Why Erik…? What magick is it that you possess that makes me feel so torn?" **

**I looked at him and waited for him to speak.**

**Had I said too much?**

**He stood and walked across the room.**

**I could see that his shoulders trembled as he stood with his back toward me.**

**Was he crying?**

**And if so, what had I said to cause him such pain.**

**Swinging my feet to the floor I started to stand forgetting about my injured ankle in my concern for Erik.**

**But as I started to stand, the pain that shot up my leg quickly reminded me of my injury. **

**Wincing and biting back a cry of pain as I forced myself to balance on my good leg.**

**I started to quietly hop towards him.**

**I had almost made it when suddenly turned around.**

"**What are doing Lesta?" He growled stepping to me and grabbing my shoulders.**

**I winced in pain as he dug his fingers into my flesh.**

"**I did not mean for my words to hurt you." I whispered. "Forgive me."**

**Looking at me he said "It is I who should beg your forgiveness. I seem to only bring you pain, my dear Lesta."**

**Before I could respond to his words he lifted me into his arms and began carrying me to the bed.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36:**

**I clung to him as he carried me across the room.**

**My head resting against his bare shoulder.**

**Then looking up into his eyes I brought my hand to the side of his mask and he froze.**

**I watched as his eyes darkened and he growled "What are you thinking of doing Lesta?"**

**I could sense that the dangerous Erik that I feared was lurking just below his surface.**

**I moved my fingers to his lips and said "Please Erik, trust me."**

**He looked at me suspiciously and said "I do not trust easily Lesta. I have been betrayed before."**

**I remembered the newspaper headline about how Christine had publicly unmasked him. **

"**I am not her, Erik. I would never do that to you. I know what lies behind your mask. But I have also seen the gentleness inside of you. Please Erik; let me see that side of you now."**

**I felt him begin to tremble as his eyes glassed over with tears. "Oh Lesta, you… You have no idea…"**

**His words trailed off as his arm tightened around me drawing me tightly to his chest.**

**Bringing me to the bed he laid me down in its center. **

**Following me, Erik laid beside me. Propped on his elbow he looked into my eyes and said "Allow me to give you pleasure instead of pain Lesta."**

**Starring into his eyes I could see he was waiting for me to answer him.**

**I tried to speak, but my voice had abandoned me.**

**(Oh how I wanted him.)**

**Squeezing my eyes shut I turned my head and bit my lip.**

**(Oh how my body ached for him.)**

**He must have taken my silence as his response. **

**For he started to turn away from me (I assumed to leave me alone on the bed.)**

**Quickly reaching out my hand I grabbed his wrist and shook my head.**

**Finding my voice I said "Please Erik, stay. I do need you. Please take the pain away." **

**I saw him swallow and close his eyes. **

**He was shaking and his breath was coming out in raged gasps.**

"**Are you sure Lesta? Do not temp me if you are not sure of what you want. For once I begin I do not know if I will be able to stop."**

"**Then don't stop…Take me…Make me whole and fill me with your passion."**

**He growled low in his throat and brought his lips to mine.**

**He kissed me with such fierceness it took my breath away.**

**Trailing kisses down my neck he came to the top of my nightdress.**

**Growling he grasped the material in his fists and ripped it in two revealing my body.**

**Cupping my breasts in his hands he gently massaged them and then suckled them.**

**I arched my back against the bed as soft moans of pleasure escaped my lips.**

**Lifting his head he looked at me and said "Tell me what you want. Tell me where you want me to touch you."**

"**Please Erik" I whimpered as I lay there trembling in my need.**

**Why was he tormenting me?**

"**Tell me Lesta." He said as he ran his fingers down my body, but as he neared the center of my need he stopped and pulled his hand away.**

"**Please Erik." I begged "Please Erik touch me."**

**He shook his head and said "I need you to tell me what you want. I want this to be all that you want it to be. So tell me Lesta. Tell me what you want."**

**I looked at him. **

**Was this a new way for him to torment me?**

**He knew that I needed him. **

**Was he now going to use my need against me?**

**Had the monster returned?**

**He caressed my skin again.**

**Touching me, but never touching where I needed him to touch me.**

**He was driving me mad.**

**My body trembled at his touches.**

**Leaning towards me he whispered in my ear "Tell me."**

**My mind snapped and I cried out as I grabbed his wrist and placed his hand between my legs. "Touch me Erik. Touch me as only you can."**

**I spread my legs wider and raised my hips wantonly.**

**I didn't care anymore about being modest or chaste.**

**I needed his touch, I needed him.**

**I heard him say "That's right Lesta, take what you want."**

**Then he whispered "I will deny you nothing my beauty. All you ever need to do is reach out and ask. I will be your willing slave to your every desire."**

**I had become like a wild creature demanding and receiving his touch, forcing him to my will and wanting more.**

**His fingers danced against my skin and teased my seed of desire until I could stand it no longer and I begged him to grant me passions release.**

**Pushing his fingers inside of me he massaged his thumb against my aching bud as he worked his fingers in and out of me. **

**Crying out and arched my body against his hand as wave after wave of pleasure crashed into me and washed over me until I was sated.**

**I pulled his face to mine kissing his lips and pressing my tongue into his mouth.**

**As I tasted him I heard him groan.**

**Sliding my hands down his body I found his manhood straining against the material of his pants.**

**(My mind had become twisted in my desire for him, and I was suddenly angry at him for denying me my right to touch him.)**

**Panting, I ordered him to remove the offensive material that protected him from me.**

**He quickly rolled onto his back and took his pants off.**

**Smiling I rolled onto my side and ran my hand down his chest teasing his nipples with my fingertips. **

**He lay there watching me explore his body.**

**Taking his nipple into my mouth I began to suckle it as he had mine.**

**Hearing him moan with pleasure I brought my teeth together trapping it in my mouth as I lashed it with my tongue.**

**He cried out my name and brought his hand to rest on my head as his trust his head back onto the pillows.**

**Raising up I looked at him and said in a low and husky voice "I wish to repay you for all that you have given me."**

**(I had become a madwoman and I didn't care.)**

**Sliding my fingernails down his body I listened to him take in a sharp breath and knew that I was causing him pain.**

**(I wanted to hurt him.)**

**(And he wasn't stopping me.)**

**Capturing his manhood in my hand I could tell he was holding his breath, waiting to see what I was going to do to him next.**

**He was still keeping to his promise to deny me nothing.**

**Looking into his eyes I said "I want you."**

**He released the breath he had been holding, but I think my next word froze his blood.**

"**I wish I could make you feel all the pain and torment you have made me feel."**

**He closed his eyes and bit down upon his lip. Then taking a deep breath he said "So be it. If I am to pay for my sins then I pay for them gladly. But just be careful Lesta, for once you've crossed the line into that darkness it is easy to become lost."**

**I thought for a moment about what he said. **

**Then I slowly began to run my hand up and down his manhood.**

**He began to groan and move him hips in time with my hand.**

**Then he began to reach for me and I snapped at him "Don't, don't touch me." **

**Then smiling at him I said "I'm not quite done playing yet."**

**Growling he said "As you wish Lesta, but I do not know how much more I will be able to stand."**

**I slid my hands back up his body, savoring the feel of him.**

**The way his sleek muscles trembled and twitched as I ran my fingers over him.**

**I truly enjoyed watching him twitch and jerk his body as he tried to obey me.**

**Gently brushing my lips against his I allowed my breasts to rub against his chest.**

"**Oh Lesta, if I can not touch you soon I think I might explode" he said as his fisted his hands in the sheets.**

**Slowly I began to trail kisses down his neck then I began to nip his skin with my teeth. **

**This caused him to suck in his breath and arch his body.**

**Encouraged I started kissing his chest. Then moving to his nipples I suckled and teased them before working my way lower on his body.**

**Dipping my tongue into his bellybutton I caused him to finally lose control.**

**Grabbing me he dragged me back up his body until he could claim my lips with his mouth.**

**Kissing me, he pressed my body to his as I wrapped my arms around his neck.**

**Pushing me up so he could look into my eyes he said "Now my beauty it's my turn to claim and pleasure you."**

**But instead of placing me on my back under him he rolled me onto my stomach.**

**I began to get nervous and I tried to roll over but he would not allow it.**

**Whispering in my ear he said "Relax Lesta I will not harm you. I only wish to please you.**

**Then he slid his arm under my stomach and lifted me so I was on my hands and knees.**

**Slipping his hand lower on my body he found my seed of desire and began to rub and caress it.**

**Oh his fingers felt so good and soon I was lost in my need.**

**I heard him tell me to spread my legs and then he was behind me.**

**I could feel him sliding his manhood into me, but it just seemed so strange having him inside me and touching me at the same time.**

**He began to move his hips, sliding himself in and out of me while he kept time to his rhythm with his fingers as he played with my bud of desire.**

**I was putty in his hands and I would have done anything he asked to keep this feeling going for all of eternity.**

"**Erik" I cried as I felt the muscles within me begin to tighten as I approached my satisfaction.**

"**You're so beautiful Lesta" He whispered breathily in my ear as he pulled my body up so he could touch my breasts as he drove his manhood into me as we both crashed over the edge together.**


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37:**

**We collapsed onto the bed, both of us trying to catch our breath.**

**Lying beside me he ran his hand lightly down my back.**

"**You are such a glorious creature, Lesta."**

**He continued to stroke my hair and back as he continued to speak.**

"**I am constantly amazed by you and how you not only tolerate my touch but seem to glory in it."**

**I began to move away from him, embarrassed.**

"**Erik? How can you say such things? How can you even stand to be near me after the way I have just acted?"**

**I rolled over and sat up drawing my knees to my chest as I covered me face with my hands.**

**He sat up beside me. **

**Taking my shoulders in his hands, he grasped them and pulled me to him so my back rested against his chest.**

**Then wrapping his arms around me he said "I never want you to feel ashamed in my presence. You did nothing wrong. Oh by all that is holy you did nothing wrong."**

**I lifted my head and turned to look into his eyes.**

**I wanted to see if what he said could possible be true.**

**Capturing my face in his hand he looked into my eyes as he said "I want you to always be able reach out to me and trust me with your passion. I also wish for you to know that my body is here to serve you when ever you want it."**

**I blushed as the meaning of his words became clear to me and turned my face away from his.**

"**Erik, I know that you are my husband, but it is not proper for a wife… A woman to act so wantonly towards a man…"**

"**To hell with what is proper!" He said with such force that he frightened me and I began to pull away from him.**

"**Please Erik."**

**He saw the change in me and softened his voice as he said "You are my wife, my Beauty, and I do not care what society views as proper or improper. I only want you to feel free to act as you wish in my arms. And if you wish to claw me and demand my touch every hour of the day, then I will gladly submit myself to you."**

**Then with a slight smile gracing his lips he said "I would beg that if you choose to take me up on my offer, would you please file your nails."**

**I looked down at his chest and the marks I had left there.**

**Tracing them with my fingertip I looked back up at him and said mischievously "I didn't hear any complaints at the time, now did I?" **

**Then shaking my head I looked away from him.**

**What was he doing to me?**

**I had not been raised to act like this.**

**I had been taught how a proper lady should conduct herself and now here I was acting like a woman of ill repute.**

**What would my parents think of me now?**

**I hung my head and reached for the covers.**

**Drawing them over myself, I laid down and turned my back to him.**

**Touching my shoulder Erik said "What is it Lesta? What have I done to cause you to turn from me now?"**

"**Nothing… Nothing at all Erik. I'm just tired and would like to rest now."**

**I heard him growl and mutter something about women being frustrating creatures as he rose from the bed.**

**Laying there I listened to him move about the room and then he went into the bathroom.**

**I listened and heard the water start running and knew the he was preparing for bed.**

**I cringed when I heard the bathroom door open and wondered if he was going to sleep in the chair.**

**I didn't have to wonder long.**

**Standing beside the bed now dressed in loose sleep pants Erik said "Lesta, I know you are not asleep. Will you please talk to me?"**

**Sitting up, I pulled the covers around me and looked at him.**

"**Sit down Erik." I said as I moved over on the bed.**

**I found it very intimidating have him standing over me.**

"**Please Lesta; tell me what I have…"**

**I put my fingers to him lips and told him to hush.**

"**Erik, I know you only said those things to try and spare my feelings. I was not raised to act as I did. And I know it was wrong of me to be so demanding of you. Can you ever forgive me?"**

**I looked away from him as I spoke so I would not have to see the disgust in his eyes that I knew he must have felt for me. **

**He turned my face back to his and said "There is nothing to forgive you for. I meant what I said. And in all the time you have been here, have you not learned one thing about me? For you must know by now that I do not give a damn about sparing any one's feelings. And that includes yours my dear Lesta."**

**I felt as though he had driven a dagger through my heart and I tried to pull away from him, but he would have none of it.**

**Smiling he went on "And as for the way you acted in this bed tonight. Oh I enjoyed every minute of your demanding and forceful behavior. To be perfectly honest, I would much rather have a wanton demanding creature such as you were, than some delicate whimpering female that only would lay under me and wait for me to finish with my business. So are we understood?"**

**I nodded my head and tried to hold back the tears I knew that were threatening fall.**

**I knew he was not lying in what he had said to me.**

**But I also knew he had hurt me by what he had said.**

**Seeing my distress Erik pulled me into his embrace and stroked my hair and said "Sometimes I think my dear, you are as changeable as the wind and just as hard to deny."**

"**Erik?" I whispered.**

"**Yes my beauty."**

"**Erik, I… I need to… I need to use the bathroom." I finally said in a rush, as I blushed a deep crimson.**

**I truly hated having to depend on him for everything.**

**I heard him chuckle as he stood and turned to reach for me.**

**Pulling back from him I clung to the covers and said "Please Erik, may I at least have a robe?"**

"**Oh but Lesta, the blush you wear is so much more lovely than any piece of cloth."**

**I blushed even deeper and said in a trembling voice "Please Erik."**

"**As you wish" He said with a mock bow as he turned to retrieve a robe for me to wear.**

**Trying to put it on and stay covered at the same time was difficult and I groaned with frustration as Erik stood there watching me.**

"**A little privacy if you please." I snapped at him.**

**He chuckled and turned around.**

**I jerked the robe on and quickly tied it around my waist.**

**Scooping me into his arms he carried me to the bathroom.**

**As we entered the room I said "Please put me down. I can maneuver on my own from here."**

**He looked at me dubiously but relented and said "I will allow this, but if you need for anything you must call out."**

**I nodded my head and said "I will."**

**As he left the room I pushed the door shut behind him.**

**Turning I looked at myself in the mirror.**

**Balling my hands into fists I vented my disgust at myself.**

**You're a fool Lesta. A fool!**

**What were you thinking acting like that?**

**Have I gone mad? Am I so needy that I would throw myself at him like some wanton slut?**

**Oh but his body and hands had felt so wonderful.**

**I hung my head not even able to look at myself.**

**Steadying myself I set about to take care of my business. **

**Then coming back over to the sink, I filled it with water and washed up as best I could.**

**Finally able to look into my own eyes again I thought: **

**He may be all the things he claims to be, a monster, a murderer, a villain.**

**I knew he was capable of hurting me and not just physically. **

**At times I was so terrified of him and what he could do to me.**

**But then when he was like he was tonight. **

**I could forget all of those things and see him as a man and not only man but as my husband.**

**And if I wanted to be truly honest with myself, I knew that I was playing a very dangerous game.**

**I had learned how fast he could change from being kind and gentle, to being cruel and heartless.**

**But he was all that I had, and if I wanted any type of human contact I would have to accept it from him.**

**I was just so confused.**

**Knowing all that I did about him, why did I melt at his touch?**

**Why did I crave to be in his presence?**

**Why did his words seem to have so much power over me?**

**Why did I constantly want to fall at his feet and beg him to keep me and use me as he would?**

**His knock at the door jolted me from my thoughts and I quickly wiped the tears from my face.**

"**Just a moment more please." I said in a somewhat shaky voice as I tried to regain my composure. **

"**Is everything alright?" He called through the door.**

"**Yes. Yes everything's fine. I'll only be a little longer. I'll call you when I'm ready."**

**I quickly washed my face and turned towards the door.**

**Well Lesta here goes nothing I thought as I took a deep breath and pulled the door open.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38:**

**Erik immediately came to my side and lifted me in his arms.**

**After placing me on the bed he handed me a fresh nightdress and said "I thought you might be more comfortable sleeping in this instead of your robe."**

**Looking at him I whispered "Thank you."**

**Turning to put out some of the candles he allowed me to put the gown on in peace.**

**I began to wonder if he was going to sleep in the chair.**

**Then fearing that he would I said "Erik."**

"**What is it Lesta? What do you need?" He said in a soft voice.**

**You! My mind suddenly screamed.**

**But I stopped myself before I could udder that fateful word.**

"**I was wondering if you would mind holding me, but if you would rather not I will understand." I said in the now near dark room.**

**My request had barely left my lips when I felt the bed move as he came to lie beside me. **

**Gathering me in his arms he pulled me to him so my back was against his chest. **

**He brushed my hair aside and whispered in my ear "My arms are yours my dear Lesta, and I enjoy having you in them."**

**I trembled as he spoke against my ear and knew that there was no place that I would rather be.**

**But I also knew it wouldn't last.**

**Rolling over in his arms I snuggled against his chest and could hear and feel his breath quicken.**

"**Erik?"**

"**Yes."**

"**What if I become pregnant again?"**

**I felt him stiffen and I feared I had destroyed whatever bond we had begun to share.**

**His silence was almost deafening.**

**Then he spoke "Do not fear Lesta. I will care for you and our child if you become pregnant. I will not turn from you, if that is what you fear. But I do pray that my seed does not take purchase in your womb."**

**What he did not know, and what I would not tell him, was that I prayed that his seed would take purchase. I wanted to become pregnant. I wanted to feel life growing inside me once again.**

"**Erik?"**

**He groaned and said "What is it now?"**

"**Will you kiss me goodnight?"**

"**With pleasure" He said as he tipped my head up and claimed my lips with his.**

**I melted in his arms.**

**Pulling his mouth from mine he looked into my eyes and said "Goodnight my dear Lesta, and may you have the sweetest of dreams."**

**Rolling onto his back he gathered me in his arms so my head rested on his chest and said "Now get some sleep."**

**I had trouble falling asleep. **

**I feared what I would wake up to.**

**Would he still be here?**

**Would he be like he is now or will he be cruel again like he was last time we had slept together?**

**My mind just kept spinning.**

**I suddenly wanted away from him. **

**But as I tried to pull away, he pulled me closer to him saying "Calm yourself Lesta, there is nothing to fear."**

**I began to relax as he caressed my back and hair, and soon I had fallen asleep.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I awoke in his arms.**

**He had not left me.**

**Looking up I watched him smile as he said "I see my sleeping beauty has finally awakened."**

**Looking away from him I blush as I realized I was lying halfway on top of him with my leg thrown across his. **

**I quickly rolled over and sat up saying "I…I did not mean to make you uncomfortable."**

"**Oh Lesta, I was not uncomfortable in the least." He said as he caressed my hair. "Actually I quite enjoyed have your body pressed to mine."**

**I blushed even deeper.**

**He sat up and pulled me into his arms and said "There is nothing wrong with a husband enjoying his wife's body."**

**I felt my heart soar at his words and knew that there was no place I'd rather be than in his arms.**

**Suddenly scooping me up Erik carried me to the bathroom.**

**Sitting me down he said "I will see to our breakfast."**

**As I finished up in the bathroom and opened the door, I expected to find Erik waiting for me, but the room was empty.**

**I noticed that he had left to main door open, and I thought about calling out to him when I heard him talking to someone.**

"**Why the hell did you bring her here?" I heard Erik say and I could hear rage in his voice.**

"**It was not my doing, Erik. Honestly she followed me here." That was Nadir's voice.**

**But who were they speaking of?**

**Who was this mystery woman?**

**Hopping across the room I positioned myself by the door so I could hear and maybe see what was happening.**

**That is when I saw the woman and without even thinking I cried out "No!"**


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39:**

**I sank to the floor shaking and crying as Erik and Nadir rushed to me.**

**Lifting me in his arms Erik carried me over to and placed me on the bed.**

**Looking up at him I said "I will leave. I will not stand in your way. I know it is she that you want. That she is the one you've always wanted."**

**He looked down at me and said "No Lesta. You are the one that I want. You are my wife and I will never let you go."**

"**Your wife..? I did not know that you had taken a wife Angel." Christine spoke from the doorway.**

**Erik turned and looked at her and said in a harsh tone "I am not your Angel. You made your choice and as I recall, you have husband of your own. Does he even know where you are?"**

**I watched as she cowered back in fear at his harsh words.**

**Taking Erik's hand in mine I said in a soft voice "Please Erik, you're frightening her, and me."**

**Turning back to me, Erik looked at our joined hands and then into my eyes. **

"**I don't want her here. I know now that she never belonged here." He said in a quiet voice."**

**All I could do was stare back at him. There were no words I could say to make this scene go away.**

**I noticed her movements out of the corner of my eye.**

**She had ventured into the room and walking towards where her picture had once hung she began to speak.**

"**This was my room when I used to visit here. The portrait that the Angel had painted of me hung on this wall." Her fingers lightly brushed the wall. Then she turned and walked to the closet as she said "I had such lovely dresses and I would sit and brush my hair at that vanity table. Everything had to be perfect for the Angel."**

**She seemed so far away as she spoke.**

**Almost like a child recalling a dream.**

**And the way she spoke of the Angel; Her Angel. **

**My heart went out to her.**

**I could feel Erik becoming tense as she spoke, but I squeezed his hand and silently begged him to remain as he was.**

**Then she looked directly at me and asked "Do you sing for the Angel now?"**

**I was so surprised by her direct question that it took me a moment to answer. "No, I do not have a voice made for singing."**

**I noticed an odd look pass from Nadir to Erik, but I thought nothing of it.**

"**Then why are you here Madam?" Christine innocently asked.**

**I don't think she could ever comprehend a woman being in Erik's world for any other reason than music.**

**Before I could answer though, Erik stood and growled "Lesta is my Wife and our relationship is No concern of yours."**

**She instantly took a step back and begged "Forgive me Angel. I meant no disrespect."**

**As Erik started to advance on her, Nadir stepped forward, coming to stand between them. **

"**Erik" Nadir snapped. "The child meant no harm. She has no idea of what has transpired since she last saw you."**

**I slipped from the bed and balanced myself before taking a tentative hop forward.**

**I had to do something. **

**I was afraid that Erik was going to hurt her and Nadir.**

**Slowly making my way across the room to where Erik stood I touch his arm.**

**Spinning around he looked at me.**

**I could see the rage in his eyes and knew without a shadow of a doubt he could kill. **

**I brought my hand up slowly and caressed his jaw.**

**He closed his eyes and I felt him tremble at my touch.**

**I whispered "Erik, if you wish me to stay. I will. I am your wife and my place is at your side.**

**He wrapped his arms around me and crushed me to his chest. Burying his face in my hair he said in a broken voice "My wife."**

**As he clung to me I realized how badly she had hurt him and something in me snapped.**

**Pulling back from him I looked up into his eyes.**

**What I saw there was pain and confusion and a hint of something deeper.**

**But at that moment all I could think about was the woman standing behind Nadir.**

**It didn't even matter to me that Erik had wrapped his arms around my waist.**

**Moving around Erik I came to stand with my back against his chest facing Nadir.**

**In a commanding tone I said "Step as aside Sir."**

**Nadir looked confused at first but then bowed slightly and did as I had asked.**

**Christine filled my vision and if I could have I would have stormed across the room and slapped her pouting face. But as it was I could do nothing but stand there hating her and what she had done to Erik.**

**Glaring at her I hissed "Why have you come here?"**

**She just stared at me with a look of fear in her eyes.**

"**Tell me Madam!" I shouted at her "Tell me why you think you can just come here and hurt my husband?"**

**Christine flinched backwards at my heated words and began to cry.**

**I looked at Nadir daring him to go to her aid.**

**He stayed where he was just watching me with a look of amazement on his face.**

**I tried to pull Erik's arms from around my waist in my desire to get to her but he held me tightly.**

**I wanted so badly to hurt her and not just because of what she had done to Erik. She was also the reason I was here in this dungeon and I hated her for it. I wanted to make her pay for what had happened to me. **

"**Answer me damn it! Answer me now!" I screamed at her.**

**She was visibly shaking as she spoke. "Madam I had no idea that the Angel still lived when I started my journey here. But when I can upon Monsieur Khan and he tried to make me turn back I… I knew at that moment the Angel… My Angel." Her eyes traveled from me to Erik and quickly back to me. "That he still lived and I became desperate to see him. I needed to tell him…" Her words trailed off and she began to cry again.**

**I wanted to scream but I waited as patiently as I could for her to continue.**

**When she did continue she said "Forgive me Angel I did not mean to cause you such pain, but the truth is I did as you told me too."**

**I stiffened in Erik's arms and wondered just what it was he had told her to do.**

**I heard Erik say "Then why have you returned. Your duty to me ended long ago."**

**I watched as she smiled and said "Raoul and I have only recently returned to Paris, and I wanted so badly to return to my old home. Then as I walked the halls of the Opera House I began to remember the hours I had spent here with you Angel. Oh I so longed to hear your voice once again. And before I knew it I had passed through the mirror. I have missed you Angel."**

**I noticed that she never once looked at Erik as she spoke those words.**

"**Christine you must listen to me now." Erik said in a gentle tone.**

**She nodded her head and said "I have always listened to you Angel."**

"**It is imperative that no one know that I still live. Do you understand what it is I am saying to you?"**

**He sounded as though he were talking to a child.**

"**Yes Angel."**

"**You can not even tell your precious Raoul."**

"**But Angel, he is my husband."**

"**I know who he is." Erik snapped. **

**I watched as Christine suddenly tensed and took a step back.**

**Using a calmer voice Erik went on." Yes, he is your husband and if you wish to see him again you will do as I tell you."**

**I could see the look of pure terror on her face and a part of me could understand what she was feeling.**

**Then she stammered "What… What of our child?"**

**That's when I jerked away from Erik. Spinning I looked at him and hissed "What child? What is she talking about?"**

**Erik had a look of pure confusion in his eyes as he looked at me. Shaking his head he said "I do not know of what she speaks. Believe me when I say I have never once lain with her."**

**My head was spinning.**

**Did Erik have a child?**

**Could I believe what he said?**

**Was this woman mad and just living in a fantasy?**

**I covered my ears with my hands and sank to the floor.**

**Erik quickly knelt beside me, but as he went to put his arms around me I shoved him away saying "Don't touch me. Just…just leave me be."**

**Then to my horror Christine approached me and tried to offer her help.**

**Glaring at her I said "Madam if you are wise you will not touch me. But I would beg you to explain what you meant by 'our child'."**

**She just stood there looking down at me.**

**Looking at Erik I begged "Make her explain what she meant."**

**I was starting to doubt everything, even my own sanity. **

**Giggling Christine said "Conner is my son with my husband. What did you think Madam?" **

**Then look of horror crossed her face as she stammered "Did… Did you think…? Oh no… No… Never did I allow him to touch me like that. Never…"**

**I reached for Erik and allowed him to take me in his arms.**

**Burying my face in his chest I began to cry.**

**I cried for the child I had lost.**

**I cried because I had doubted Erik.**

**I cried because my world was shattering and I knew that the longer she remained here the more I would doubt myself.**

**Erik lifted me in his arms and carried me to the bed as he ordered Nadir to take Christine from the room.**

**But as she was leaving she turned to me and asked "Madam if you do not sing, what purpose do you serve here?"**

**I felt Erik's arms tighten around me.**

**And I began to wonder the same. **

**Nadir quickly pulled Christine from the room and then closed the door leaving Erik and I alone.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40:**

**As Erik laid me upon the bed I looked at him and asked "What purpose do I serve here Erik?"**

**Erik growled and said "I do not wish to have this conversation with you again Lesta."**

"**Why, Erik? Is it that you know that you no longer have a need for me? I mean since you no longer wish for me to carry your child. What does that leave? Or is that you are so anxious to go to her and fall to your knees and beg her to replace me." By the time I had finished speaking my voice had raised to a scream.**

**I could see the rage in his eyes, but I didn't care. I was just as furious as he was.**

**Slamming his fist into the headboard next to where my head rested he snarled "Do you truly wish to provoke me?"**

**I laughed at him and said "What if I do? Will you kill me now?"**

**He slid he hand behind my head and fisted his fingers in my hair. Pulling my head back we glared into each others eyes. **

**Lifting my hand I touched his mask. Then tracing the edge of it with my fingers I dared him to trust me.**

**His breath caught in his throat and a hint of fear crept in the eyes as he waited to see what I was going to do.**

**Then sliding my hand behind his head I pulled his lips to mine.**

**I do not know what possessed me; all I knew is that I wanted to claim him as mine.**

**I wanted him to know that I was not her.**

**As our kiss deepened I parted my lips and forced my tongue into his mouth.**

**I heard him moan as his hand slid down my back and he pulled my body to his.**

**As our lips parted I looked into his eyes. **

**The rage I had seen there only moments before had been replaced with a look of desire.**

**Oh how I wanted to fulfill that desire, but I knew it was not to be at that moment.**

**Looking away from him I said "Help me dress."**

"**Why do you wish to dress Lesta? You know that I do not wish for you to leave this bed until you are healed."**

"**Have you forgotten 'our' guest, Erik?"**

"**I have not forgotten, and 'I' will deal with her shortly. So there is no need for you to dress."**

"**Please Erik allow me to accompany you. I can not just sit here and wait to see if you will return to me. I know that she holds a special place in your heart. And if you wish to be with her I will understand. But please do not be so cruel as to make me sit here and wait."**

"**You are my wife Lesta. I want no other."**

"**I know that I am your wife, but I also know that she is the one you love. And if you will not help me dress then I will do it myself." I said as I started to get up.**

**Grabbing my arms he pushed me back down onto the bed. Holding me there he said "Never presume to know what is in my heart Madam. For it can be a dark place and you may find it rather frightening."**

"**I find much about you frightening Erik." I whispered.**

"**Then why do you insist on pressing me. I have told you that you are to remain in this bed until you are healed and yet you wish to defy me at every turn. Why is that Lesta?"**

"**Because I don't wish too lose you to her!" I cried before I could stop myself.**

**He stared down at me with a look of shock in his eyes. **

**Then in a whisper he said "You will not lose me Lesta."**

**Pulling me into his arms he held me against his chest as he stroked my back and said "If it so important that you accompany me then I will allow it, but only if you agree to do exactly what I tell you."**

**Leaning back so I could look into his eyes I said "Don't I always?"**

**He growled and shook his head.**

**Leaving the bed Erik went to the closet and pulled out a pale blue blouse and a dark blue skirt. Then turned to my dresser he pulled out some undergarments for me to wear.**

**Staking back over to the bed he tossed the items at me and said "Get dressed."**

**I pulled my night gown over my head and reached for the undergarments.**

**Struggling a bit, I manage to get them on as Erik stood with his back to me.**

**I was grateful that he had not insisted on watching me.**

**Reaching for the blouse I pulled it on and buttoned it quickly. Then looking at the skirt I knew I would not be able to put it on while still in the bed.**

**Slipping my legs over the side of the bed I began to slide the skirt on then standing on my good foot I pulled it to my waist.**

**But as I started to tuck the blouse into the waist of the skirt I started to loose my balance.**

**Erik caught me as I cried out.**

"**May I be of some assistance Madam?" He asked as he slid his hand around my waist tucking my blouse in.**

**I leaned against his chest and a sigh escaped my lips.**

**It did feel wonderful being in his arms.**

**Then I thought about the woman waiting for Erik and covered his hands with mine.**

**Looking up at him over my shoulder I saw that he looked distant.**

"**Erik?" I whispered.**

**Shaking his head he looked down at me and said "Are you ready?"**

"**Do I have time to brush my hair? Or are you anxious to…?" I let the rest of what I was going to say die in my throat as he scooped me up in his arms and carried he to the vanity.**

**Sitting me on the stool he picked up my brush and began to run it through my hair.**

**I wanted to turn and throw myself into his arms, but I knew now was not the time.**

**I started to reach for a ribbon to tie my hair back as he finish, but he stopped me and said "I like it when you wear your hair down. Will you please wear it down?"**

**He seemed so strange and now he asking me, instead of telling what to do.**

**I was beginning to worry.**

**Turning I reached up and took his hand and pulled him down so he was kneeling before me.**

**Taking his face in my hands I looked into his eyes.**

**(What I saw there made my heart break.)**

**I saw so much pain and lose in his eyes and knew that he was remembering what she had done to him.**

**I did not know exactly what she had said or done to him, but I had a very good idea.**

**And I also knew that it went far beyond unmasking him in public. **

**For if it had only been that I doubt that he would be in such pain now.**

**I quietly spoke his name "Erik."**

**Opening and closing his eyes he finally acted like he was seeing me.**

**Then realizing my hands were on his face he started to pull away.**

**Holding on to him I whispered "Erik, I'm not going to hurt you."**

**Jerking away from me and standing he said "Why Lesta? How can you of all people stand to even be near me?"**

**I looked up at him and said "You are my husband and even though you have hurt me, you have also shown me kindness." **

**Reaching up I held my hand out to him.**

**He quickly took it and knelt before me bringing my fingers to his lips.**

**I smiled at him and said "How many wives know that all they have to do is reach out and there husband will be there?"**

**He looked at me with confusion in his eyes.**

**Then he said "What of my face Lesta? You have seen the horror that lay behind my mask."**

"**That is true Erik. I have seen your face, but I have also told you that it matters not to me. When I look at you I see the man that is my husband: Nothing more; nothing less." **

**A knock came at the door quickly followed by Nadir's voice. "Is everything alright?"**

"**We'll be right out!" Erik snapped.**

**I looked at him and smiled then giving his hand a slight squeeze it whispered "I am ready."**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I slipped my arms around his neck and rested my head against his shoulder as he carried me down the steps.**

**As he stepped into the room I saw that she was watching us intently. **

**When he placed me on the couch I clung to him and brought my lips to his bestowing on him a chaste but passionate kiss.**

**Then as I released him I whispered in his ear "I am your wife."**


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41:**

**As I turned too looked at Christine I noticed Laddie standing in the corner.**

**Smiling I said "There you are Laddie. I was wondering where you had got off to."**

**He stepped forward blushing slightly at my calling attention to him in the presence of a lady like Christine.**

"**Laddie would you be a dear and fetch us some tea: Something mild and soothing if you would."**

**He nodded and the smile that crossed his face was priceless.**

**I knew that he enjoyed being of service. And little things like fetching tea seemed to make him happy.**

**Then I felt Erik's hand grip my shoulder as he leaned forward and whispered in my ear. "What are you doing Lesta? You know this is not a social call."**

**I turned my head and brought my hand to the side of his face as I whispered back. "Please Erik allow me this. It's not often that I get act as your wife."**

**He growled low in my ear but said nothing else.**

**As he stood behind me with his hand remaining on my shoulder I turn towards Christine.**

"**Please forgive my rude behavior of earlier, but I am not used to having people enter my bedchamber unannounced and uninvited."**

"**It is I that should beg your forgiveness Madam." Christine said. "But I did not know that the Angel…"**

"**The Angel has a name Madam." I interrupted her. "And his name is Erik." I said as I covered his hand with mine.**

**(I did not know his surname. Nor did I think it mattered. It was just every time I heard her say Angel I remembered when he had first brought me here and the nightmare that that time was.)**

**She immediately lowered her head and whispered "Forgive me."**

"**No need Madam. I should not have been so abrupt. Let us put all this behind us."**

**She looked at me and nodded.**

**I could see the apprehension in her eyes.**

**I could also see that she had questions, I just wasn't sure that Erik or I could answer them.**

**Clearing his throat Nadir said "It is wonderful to see that you're feeling better. And I hope your ankle isn't causing you too much pain."**

**I knew he was just trying to change the mood that had fallen over the room.**

**Looking at him I smiled and said "Yes, I am feeling much better today. Thank you for asking. And it was truly silly of me turning my ankle. I should have known better than to go wondering about the tunnels like that."**

"**But at least I have Erik here to care for me." I turned and looked up at Erik. "He has been very diligent seeing to my every need."**

**Turning back to Nadir I saw a look of confusion, but then he covered it well when he said "I am glad to hear that Erik is tending to you so well."**

**Smiling I said "I am lucky to have such a caring husband to look after me."**

**Then turning my gaze to Christine I asked "Is your husband so caring Madam?"**

"**Yes, yes he is a very kind and caring man." She said as she seemed to be trying to grasp what was being said around her.**

"**Then how is it Madam that you come to be wondering down here unaccompanied? If it true that your husband is so kind and caring he must be beside himself with worry for you." I said to her a friendly tone. "You must know how dangerous it can be, especially for a woman such as yourself."**

**She looked at me then at Erik. Then she quickly averted her eyes nervously as she began to ring her hands in her lap.**

**She began to say something but stopped as Laddie appeared carrying a tray with our tea.**

**I motioned him forward and he sat the tray on the table which sat before the couch I sat on.**

**Lifting the tea pot Laddie poured and served us. He knew how Erik, Nadir and I took ours but when it came to Christine he was at a loss and looked to me for assistance. **

**Politely I asked her how she took hers and she seemed to relax as she answered me. **

**But as Laddie withdrew Christine noticed how I was watching her. **

**I couldn't help but notice the similarities and differences between the two of us.**

**I began to remember how Erik had treated me when he had first brought me here.**

**And also how he had tried to make me her.**

**Shaking my head, I returned my thoughts to the present and the task at hand.**

"**How is your tea? Is it too your liking Madam?" I asked.**

"**It is very good. Thank you."**

**Then taking a deep breath I said "I must implore you Madam that it is imperative that you keep my husband and my existence a secret. No one, not even your husband can know about us. For if someone would find out they would come here and destroy my home."**

**I knew that Erik and Nadir were watching and listening intently to what I was saying and doing. **

**However I began to become concerned at Erik's silence and worried that he would be angry with me later for what I was doing.**

**Christine looked at me and asked "Are you happy here with the A… I mean Erik?"**

**I was slightly taken aback by her question after what I had just said but I answered her "Erik is my husband Madam and he has taken very good care of me. What else is there other than that?"**

**She looked at me as though she were measuring my words and actions.**

**Then she said "You are correct Madam. Having a husband that cares for you is most important." Then she sighed and said "I would dearly like to return to my husband now."**

**Erik finally spoke saying "Christine I do not know if I can trust you with such an important secret."**

**I watched as she began to tremble and tears flooded her eyes. "Please Angel…Erik I promise not to tell a soul. Please just let me return to my family."**

"**If I allow you to leave here, what guarantee do I have that you will not run straight to your husband and tell him about me and my wife?"**

"**You have my word." She pleaded.**

"**And what good is your word to me?" Erik growled.**

"**Then what would you have me do?"**

"**Swear! Swear on the lives of your precious Raoul and child. For if I find that you have told anyone about me or my wife I will take their lives in payment for your deceit." His voice was so cold that it made me tremble.**

**She paled and covered her face with her hands before finally looking up at Erik and saying "I swear to you Angel I will tell no one."**

"**On their lives Christine, Swear it!" He barked at her.**

**She jumped at his harsh tone and then looking at the floor she said "I swear on their lives that I will keep your secret." Then she broke down and began to cry in earnest.**

"**Get her out of here Nadir!" Erik ordered. Then he said in a tone laced with menace "If you ever allow anyone else to follow you here I will make you pay dearly."**

**Nadir looked at Erik with what could be describe as a combination of fear and loathing and said "I will return Christine to the theater for her sake. But remember my dear friend Erik. I, like you do not take kindly to treats." Then turning slightly he bowed to me and said "Be well Madam Lesta and do not fear I will continue to visit you as I can."**

**I sat there in stunned silence as Nadir helped Christine to her feet and lead her away.**


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42: **

**I had not even realized that I had begun to cry until my tears started to drip onto my hands that I folded in my lap.**

**My mind kept replaying what Erik had said. How he had threatened the life of a child. And I could not find it in myself to doubt what he had said. I knew in my heart that he was capable of carrying out his threat and I was more terrified of him at that moment than I had ever been. **

**Looking down I wished I could run; to escape from this nightmare. But I knew that even if my ankle was not injured I was damned to remain here.**

**I had not been paying any attention to what was happening around me so when Erik touched me I jumped and instantly pulled away from him.**

"**Please Lesta." He said in soft voice.**

**Looking up at him as I pressed myself against the cushions and bringing my knees up to my chest I whispered "Don't… Don't touch me." **

"**Lesta" He said as he knelt beside the couch.**

**Shaking I said "I'm such a fool… I almost…Oh god… I can't believe… No…no…"**

**Looking at him through tear blurred eyes I laughed bitterly and said "You almost had me. I almost thought that I could…I could… It doesn't matter now anyway. You've shone me what you truly are." I reached out and jerked his mask from his face and threw it across the room.**

**Erik immediately brought his hands up to cover his face as he roared at me. "Have you last your mind Madam!" **

**Standing he towered over me as he took his hands away from his face and grabbed mine. Twisting my head around and back so I was looking directly at him he hissed "Why Lesta? I thought…"**

"**Don't Erik… Don't speak to me like I am supposed give a damn about what you think. And take your hands off of me." I jerked my face from his grasp and looked past him to where his mask laid on the floor.**

**I felt like I could vomit. **

**Then looking at him I said "Answer me this Erik. Why did you allow me to make a fool of myself? Did you find my words humorous?" Lowering my head and looking at my left hand I whispered "I am married to a monster. Why?" I balled my hands into fists and brought them to me temples as I began to scream.**

**The horror of everything that had happened since I had been brought here tumbled through my mind, and all I could do was scream and cry out in pain.**

**Opening my hands against the sides of my head I curled my fingers around my skull and dug my fingernails into my flesh.**

**I felt Erik grab my wrists as my blood began to mingle with my tears. **

**Trying to jerk myself away from him I began to fight him.**

**As he bent down to try and gain control of me I sank my teeth into the flesh of his shoulder. I could taste his blood in my mouth as he pulled away from me.**

**Raising his hand in the air he brought it down and backhanded me snapping my head around as he shouted "Stop this madness Lesta!"**

**Turning I looked him in his eyes as I brought my hand up and wiped the blood from the side of my mouth.**

**I wasn't sure if it was his blood or mine. **

**(Later I was to find out it was both his and mine.)**

**Glaring at him I said "And to think I almost thought I was falling in love with you."**

**I saw the pain my words caused him and I almost laughed.**

**Turning from me he stormed across the room and picked up his mask and put it back on. Then squaring his shoulders he said "I will have Laddie bring you a basin of water and a mirror so you might clean yourself up."**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**After Erik had left me I sat there trying to put reason behind all that had happened.**

**I failed miserable.**

**There was no reason for what had happened. No reason at all for his brutality or mine.**

**I buried my face in my lap and prayed that I would be granted release from this life.**

**I almost jumped out of my skin when Laddie touched my shoulder.**

**Shaking I tried to apologize to him.**

**Then I saw the look in his eyes as he looked at me.**

**Grabbing the mirror from the tray he had sat down I looked at my reflection.**

**Blood streaked my face and my cheek was bruised and starting to swell where Erik had hit me. There was also blood around my mouth and my lip was split in two places. (I assumed the cuts to my lips had happened when Erik had slapped me.)**

**Laddie dipped a cloth in the basin and handed it to me.**

**With Laddie's help I managed to wash the blood from my face.**

**After that Laddie ran and got a cold comprise for me to put on the bruise.**

**As Laddie sat on the floor next to the couch trying to offer me what sympathy he could Erik returned.**


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43:**

"**Leave us." Erik snapped at Laddie.**

**Standing Laddie turned and ran from the room.**

**Sitting down in the chair across from the couch Erik looked at me.**

**I turned my face away from him and looked at cloth I held in my hands.**

"**Lesta" He began gently. "I did not wish to have to strike you as I did."**

**I looked at him and said "It doesn't matter Erik. What's done is done. My face will heal."**

"**Would you like to go to your room now?'**

"**That would nice. I would like to change out of these bloody cloths and try to rest."**

**He stood and stepped towards me.**

**I knew he meant to carry me, but I recoiled from him and said "I'd rather you not touch me."**

**Looking down at me he said "Your ankle will not support you and I do not wish to see you injured further. So if I do not carry you how do you plan on making it up to your room?"**

"**Laddie could assist me."**

"**Laddie is only a boy. He can not possibly support you." Erik said as he began to reach for me.**

"**Please Erik." I begged as I coward back against the cushions.**

**He looked down at me with such sadness in his eyes as he said "I never meant to injure you. If I could I would sever my hand from my arm."**

**I looked at him and said "You think I am acting this way only because you struck me." I looked away from him. "No Erik. The fact that you hit me has little to do with the way I feel right now."**

**Kneeling Erik said "Then tell me Lesta. What must I do to reclaim your trust?"**

"**Allow Laddie too assist me."**

"**He is not…"**

"**You ask me, and if you will not even grant me this… I truly am your prisoner."**

**He reached out and touched the uninjured side of my face, brushing my hair back.**

**I squeezed my eyes shut and tried not to react. But my body and my mind betrayed me and I began to shake violently. I found it difficult to breath as my fear of him grew.**

**Pulling his hand away he stood and stepped back from me.**

**I slowly regained control of myself.**

**Looking up at him I whispered "Please."**

**I watched as Erik left to find Laddie.**

**Laddie looked frightened as he followed Erik and I wondered what he had been told.**

**I sat up as Laddie slowly approached me. **

**As I reached out to take Laddie's hand Erik spoke causing Laddie to freeze. **

"**Remember what I told you boy."**

**Laddie nodded his head. Then taking a deep breath he took my hand and helped me to stand.**

**I draped my arm around Laddie's shoulder and we began to make our way to the steps.**

**Looking at the steps I took a deep breath and braced my hand against the wall.**

**I knew even with Laddie's help I was going to have difficulty.**

**Then Erik spoke from behind me "Please Lesta allow me to carry you. I fear you will fall."**

**Squaring my shoulders and lifting my head I whispered to Laddie "One step at a time."**

**With that I hopped up the first step. **

**Then the next, but when I was half way up I lost my balance and began to fall.**

**I felt Laddie trying to catch me but knew he couldn't.**

**Suddenly I was in Erik's arms and he was carrying the rest of the way to my room.**

**I stiffened and tried to control my terror.**

**But as he stood holding me in his arms I began to have trouble breathing and I knew if I did not get away from him I was going to faint.**

**Pushing against his chest I begged "Please Erik… Please, put me down…Please…"**

**As soon as he placed me on the bed I slid as far from him as I could, pressing my back against the headboard and pillows.**

**Staring at me Erik whispered "Why have you suddenly become so afraid of me? **

**Only this morning you craved my touch." **

**He began to lean toward me and I cried out "Please don't…"As I tried in vain to press myself away from him.**

**Sitting on the edge of the bed Erik said "Please Lesta talk to me. Tell me why you have suddenly changed. I know that Christine's appearance here was upsetting. But I swear to you that she will not return nor tell anyone of us."**

**Looking away from him I whispered "Nor would I."**

"**What did you say?"**

"**Go away Erik. I want to be alone."**

**I felt the bed shift and hoped it was from him rising.**

**But then suddenly I was being pulled into his embrace and my back was pressed against his chest.**

**Pulling and squirming I tried to free myself from him, but he only held me tighter.**

**I began to cry.**

**Finally knowing the man that now held me in his arms was a true monster and also knowing that my only escape would be when the day came that he finally killed me.**

**Erik began to caress my hair as I continued to cry.**

**Then he asked again "Tell me what has caused this change in you?"**

**I shook my head and said "I can not. Only know this Erik. What feelings I might have once had for you are now gone. Now the only things I feel are fear and hate."**

**I felt him stiffen and immediately regretted my words.**

**Would he end this now?**

**I knew all he would have to do is bring his hand to my throat and with one movement my life would end.**


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44:**

**Then to my utter amazement I heard him let out a ragged breath and felt his tears dripping in my shoulder.**

**Taking my chance I pulled away from him and slid across the bed. **

**Positioning myself as far from him as I could, I finally looked at him.**

**He sat there looking so broken and lost.**

**Maybe there was a small part of me that still cared.**

**A part that still wanted to reach out to him, but I couldn't allow it.**

**I replayed his words in my mind:**

"_**Swear! Swear on the lives of your precious Raoul and child. For if I find that you have told anyone about me or my wife I will take their lives in payment for your deceit."**_

"_**On their lives Christine, Swear it!"**_

**How could I ever have believed that he was anything but a monster?**

**How could I have ever been ready to give my heart to a creature that could threaten the life of a child?**

**I watched him stand but as he began to turn to leave he stopped and looked at me.**

"**I can't let you go. I need you too badly. For no matter what you think of me. I do care deeply about you. And I will continue to take care of you."**

**He pulled the door shut as he left.**

**I sat there staring at the place he had been.**

**My mind began to try and process all that had happened.**

**How could my life have crumbled around me so quickly?**

**It had only been hours before that I awoke in his arms.**

**And now the very thought of allowing him to touch me make me want to be sick.**

**Curling myself into a ball I pulled the comforter over my head and allowed the exhaustion I felt to over take me.**

**I awoke screaming.**

**I had been trapped in a nightmare world surrounded by monsters that I could not escape from.**

**No matter which way I turned another one would rise up before me grasping and ripping at my flesh.**

**My door burst open and Erik came rushing into the room.**

**As he approached the bed I recoiled from him and began to plead with him not to touch me.**

**He froze where he stood and stared at me.**

**Then shaking his head he whispered "I did not mean to disturb you. I only thought that you might need… I bid you goodnight Lesta. I will check on you in the morning."**

**With that said he turned and left.**

**Still shaking I slid out off bed and started to hop to the bathroom.**

**Grabbing the counter I looked at my face in the mirror.**

**The bruise on my cheek looked terrible and my lips were swollen at the corner of my mouth.**

**Then I wondered how bad Erik's shoulder was where I had bitten him looked.**

**Smiling I began to hope that he his shoulder hurt him as badly as my face was hurting me.**

**Running cold water in the sink I soaked a cloth and pressed it to my cheek.**

**I turned away from the mirror and slowly allowed my body to slide to the floor.**

**Sitting there with my back against the wood I closed my eyes.**

**A knock at the bedroom door awoke me.**

**I yelled "Just a moment" As I pushed myself to my feet (or should I say foot.)**

**I hopped to the doorway of the bathroom and said "Come in.**

**I knew it was Erik and I also knew that he would be hoping that with a new day I might be able to see him as I once did.**

**I couldn't. Too much had happened for me just to pretend.**

**Looking at him I said in a cold tone "Would you mind getting me some clean clothes out. I wish to change and it is hard for me to balance and carry anything at the same time."**

"**Is there anything in particular you would like to wear today?" I could hear the hope in his voice.**

"**Something black I think."**

**Turning I said "You can leave it on the bed as you leave. I will call to you when I wish my breakfast."**

**I slammed the bathroom and rested against it listening to him open my closet.**

**I washed up as best I could and finished with my business.**

**Opening the door I saw him standing there and was glad that I had decided against undressing as I had washed myself.**

**Granted my blouse was unbuttoned but my undergarments covered me.**

**Glaring at him I said "I asked you to leave. Or have stayed to torment me?"**

"**Lesta please…"**

"**Please What Erik!" I shouted "I don't want you. I don't know when or if the day will come that I will be able to be in the same room as you and not feel fear or hatred towards you. So will you please just leave me alone?"**

**I saw the pain my words caused him.**

**But I didn't care. I wanted to hurt him and I knew that words could and would do more damage then I could ever inflict upon him with my fists.**

**Then as I stood there staring at him I saw his rage and anger building.**

**As he stormed across the room I sank to the floor.**

**Kneeling he grabbed my shoulders and lifted me to my knees.**

"**Why Lesta…!" He roared as he shook me like a rag doll.**

**I tried to pull away from him. **

**I brought my fists up and pounded his chest with them.**

**But it was useless.**

**I felt as though I was warring against a living wall: One that I could neither tear down nor brake away from.**

"**Tell me Lesta!" He drove his fingers deeper into my flesh tightening his grip.**

**Crying out in pain I wailed "You're hurting me Erik. Please release me!"**

"**Yes Erik. Please do release her." **


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45:**

**I looked past Erik to where Nadir stood in the doorway.**

**Erik laughed a maniacal laugh that made my blood run cold.**

**He dragged me up with him as he stood.**

**Without turning he said "I should have known that little whelp had gone running to you when I could not find him this morning."**

**Then looking down at me he hissed "It seems you have found yourself a knight, Madam." And then he whispered in my ear "I will punish him for his lack of loyalty. Ah maybe I should break his fingers so he would be rendered speechless."**

"**No Erik…" I cried as I pulled my head away from his lips. **

**Looking into his eyes I saw that he had gone truly mad.**

"**Please Erik… Please don't this." I whispered as I placed my hands gently against his chest.**

**His breath was coming out in ragged gasps and he suddenly crushed me to his chest.**

**Whispering in my ear he said "If this was brought about by me, then tell me what penance I must serve to erase your fear."**

**Stepping into the room Nadir said "Erik. Leave her and come with me so we may talk."**

**Pulling back from me, he looked into me eyes.**

"**Go with him Erik."**

**Lifting me, he turned and carried me to the bed.**

**Placing me on it he bent down and kissed my forehead before turning and leading Nadir from the room.**

**As Nadir passed through the doorway he turned and looked back at me.**

**I quickly turned my head so he would not see the bruise on my cheek.**

"**Madam Lesta, I vow to do what I must too insure that he harms you no more."**

**He then turned and left.**

**I feared if Nadir confronted Erik. Erik would kill him.**

**If that were to happen, what would become of me? **

**In all my time here Nadir had been my only real friend.**

**He seemed always to try to stand and reason with Erik on my behalf.**

**And now he was doing it again. Only this time I knew it might cost him his life.**

**Looking at the foot of the bed I saw what clothing Erik had gotten out for me to wear.**

**Instead of black like I had asked for. He had laid a red dress upon the bed.**

**Reaching for it I quickly (or as quickly as I could) removed the blouse and skirt I had been wearing.**

**Then pulling the red dress over my head I was thankful that it laced up the front.**

**My fingers shook as I pulled and tied the ribbon bringing the bodice over my breasts.**

**Running my fingers through my hair, I knew I did not have time to brush it properly if I was going to try and avert disaster.**

**Swinging my legs over the side of the bed I stood and smoothed my skirts down allowing them to cascade around my legs.**

**Trying to hurry I hopped around the bed and to the doorway.**

**Emerging from my room I looked down the steps.**

**What had I been thinking? There was no way I would be able to navigate the steps by myself.**

**Looking around I spotted Laddie cowering in the corner by the foot of the stairs. Hoping to gain his attention I whispered his name.**

**I knew what he was watching so intently for I could also see Erik and Nadir standing toe to toe in the center of the room.**

**I knew I had very little time to act.**

**Snapping his head around Laddie looked up at me. With his eyes wide he shook his head and motioned for me to return to my room.**

**I hissed at him "No" then motioned for him to come to me.**

**Slowly he crept up the steps. **

**As he reached me I put my hand out and quietly implored him to help me descend the stairs.**

**He looked at me with doubt and fear. Shaking his head he tried to stop me from my mission.**

**Bending down I whispered in his ear "If you do not help me, it could mean Monsieur Khan's life."**

**He quickly glanced over at Erik's back. Then turning back to me he nodded.**

**Having him stand in front and to the outside of me I used his shoulder and the wall for support.**

**As I descended the stairs I listened to what Erik and Nadir were saying:**

**Nadir: "Listen to me Erik."**

**Erik: "Why Daroga. What can you possibly have to tell me?"**

**N: "Laddie told me what me what happened after I left here with Christine."**

**E: "I figured as much and believe me the boy will pay."**

**I felt Laddie stiffen and knew that he feared Erik as much as I did at that moment.**

**Nadir: "Laddie only came to me because he cares so much for you and Madam Lesta. And he wanted to help you."**

**Erik: "Help me? The only help I need is to be left alone with my wife."**

**N: "But Erik, have you not noticed. Your wife has become afraid of you. I also noticed what your heavy hand did to her face. Do you think that beating her will alleviate her fears of you?!"**

**E: "Silence Daroga! I will hear No more of this! And if your intent in coming here is to take her from me, then I will kill you. She is Mine!"**

**N: "She is not a thing that you can possess Erik! She is a very beautiful woman and not a creature to be bent and twisted to your will!"**

**E: Laughing evilly "The truth is finally revealed. So you believe that I am a monster; a beast undeserving of a beauty like Lesta. You are no better than anyone else. Oh I have been a fool trusting you all these years. But a fool I will be no longer."**

**I watched in horror as Erik stalked across the room and picked up a sword.**

**Acting I thrust myself forward grabbing a chair's back for support as I cried out "Erik no!"**

**Both men turned and looked at me. **

**Then Erik spoke "So you have come to defend your lover."**

**I gasped at his words.**

"**Erik!" Nadir snapped.**

"**I never… Believe me Erik, you have been the only one…The only man to touch me." I said in a stricken tone.**

"**Why should I believe you? It seems that you are always coming to his aid. If he is not your lover, then explain to me why you care for him so deeply."**

"**Leave her alone Erik!" Nadir said as he came to stand between Erik and myself.**

"**So it is to be war between us my dear Daroga? For I will not have my wife kept from me!"**

**Moving around the chair I knew the only way I would be able to stop Erik was to make him believe I still felt something for him.**

**Taking a deep breath I began to move towards him. But as I passed Nadir he put his arm out stopping me.**

"**Please let me pass. I must go to him." I whispered to Nadir as I watched Erik watching us.**

**Erik seemed to be waiting. I knew he would attack if Nadir refused me.**

"**Please Monsieur I beg of you, stand aside."**

**Looking at me Nadir whispered "You need not do this Madam."  
**

"**But I do Monsieur. I must put an end to this madness."**

**Looking at me with concern in his eyes Nadir realized I was right.**

**Bowing slightly he stepped aside.**

**I moved slowly towards Erik trying to convince myself that he would not harm me.**

**I knew my hand shook as I held it out to him. I only hoped he would take it as a sign that I had not betrayed him. **

**Finally looking up and into his eyes I saw his indecision.**

**Whispering I said "Please Erik. I know you still care for me. Come…Touch me…Show me the man that I need. The man that I know you can be."**

**I saw the sudden change in his eyes as they darkened then he growled "You need not play this game with me Lesta. I can smell your fear."**

"**Then stop this madness Erik." I implored.**

"**Do you wish leave with him? And be sure you words are true because I will know if you are lying."**

**I looked down at the floor as I tried to think of a response to his question.**

**Then looking back up into his eyes I said "Even though it is true that I fear you, I also know that I can never leave you."**

**Erik laughed and stepped forward.**

**Sliding his arm around me he looked past me too where Nadir stood.**

"**Leave us Daroga!" Erik barked at Nadir.**

"**Do you also wish for me to leave Madam?" Nadir asked.**

**Turning in Erik's arm I looked at Nadir and said "Go."**

**I knew I was sealing my fate with that one word, but there no other choice.**

"**You heard her Nadir. Now Go!"**

**I watched as Nadir turned and left us and I prayed that Erik would not hurt me again.**


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46: **

**I jumped when I heard Erik's sword clang against the floor.**

**Bringing his other arm around me and pressing my back to his chest he whispered in my ear "Mine."**

**I shuddered with fear in his arms as I squeezed my eyes shut.**

**What would happen to me now?**

**Turning me in his arms and stepping back, but still holding my shoulders he looked down at me.**

"**My beauty" he said softly.**

**I trembled and looked away from him.**

**Scooping me up in his arms he carried me to the couch.**

**Then looking at me he said "You know you should not be out of bed. What must I do to convince you that it is dangerous for you to be up? You could easily injure yourself worse."**

"**I had too. I could not let you hurt Nadir."**

"**Do not speak his name to me Lesta!" He roared and began to storm about the room.**

**Picking up a vase he slammed it against the wall.**

**I cringed back against the cushions terrified he would strike me again.**

**Bringing my arms around myself I tried to become small.**

**Turning he glared at me and hisses "I never wish to hear his name cross your lips again. Is that understood Lesta?"**

**I nodded my head quickly fearing that if I hesitated it would anger him more.**

"**You are mine! And I will allow no one to take you. Not even death itself will part you from me."**

**I was trapped with a madman and I feared that my slightest movement would anger him to the point of disaster.**

**Then to my horror he spotted Laddie.**

"**Come here boy" he growled.**

**Laddie hesitated.**

"**NOW!" Erik roared.**

**Laddie rushed forward and fell to his knees before Erik.**

**Folding his hands he silently pleaded with Erik for forgiveness.**

"**Why did you betray me?" Erik said as he knelt and grabbed Laddie's hair and twisting he head back.**

"**Erik!" I cried. **

"**Please Erik he is only a child. Don't hurt him." I begged.**

**Erik ignored me.**

**Pushing myself from the couch I fell to my knees and began to crawl to where Erik held Laddie.**

**Reaching them I placed my hand on Erik's arm. **

"**Please…He meant you no disrespect. He only went to…He was only trying to help." I pleaded with Erik. **

**Shaking Erik released Laddie and turning grabbed me.**

**Pulling me into his embrace and began to weep. **

**As he held me against him I could feel his sobs rock his body.**

**And my heart began to break for him.**

**Timidly I reached my hand up and stroked his hair gently.**

"**Forgive me" I whispered.**

**Pulling from me he stared in my eyes.**

**Then he began to shake his head as he said "No… It is I that should be begging your forgiveness. I am a Monster, and I do not deserve the kindnesses that you show me. You should have gone with Nadir. You disserve so much more than I could ever dream of giving you."**

**Covering his lips with my fingers I silenced him.**

**I still feared him. **

**But seeing him like this broke my heart, and all I wanted to do at that moment was comfort him.**

"**Please Erik, don't. I can't stand seeing you like this. It hurts me too badly."**

"**Oh Lesta, I do not wish to bring you more pain. I've hurt you enough as it is. And yet you stay and willingly touch me. Why? Why?"**

**I didn't have an answer to his question. **

**All I knew what I felt.**

**And it felt right to comfort him.**

**Reaching up I touched his lips.**

**Then I whispered "Hold me. Make me feel safe in your arms as you once did."**

**He released a raged gasp and I realized that he had been holding his breath awaiting my response.**

"**Oh Lesta" he breathed as he took me into his arms and cradled me gently against him.**

**I listened to his heartbeat as I rested my head against his chest.**

**I could almost imagine that nothing had changed and he was still the Erik that I had… But everything had changed and I had seen his darkest side. The side of him that would threaten the life of a child; the side that would take up arms against his truest friend. He had even terrorized Laddie and struck me. **

**Could I pretend that none of that had happened? **

**I knew the answer to that question was 'No'.**

**But maybe with his help I could move past it. **

**Learn to see him as I once did.**

**Learn to see him as a man again.**

**I sighed and a tremor passed over my body.**

**Feeling my distress Erik caressed my hair and whispered "Tell me what I must do to remove this pain I have caused you. Allow me the chance to be your husband again."**

**Pulling away from him I looked into his eyes.**

**I saw all his sadness and hope.**

**Reaching out I placed my hand on his heart and whispered "Please Erik, I need time. I need you to try and understand that my fear of you will not disappear easily.**

**But maybe, just maybe if you are gentle and patient with me I will learn to see you as I once did."**

**Lifting me in his arms he carried me to the couch.**

**Gently laying me upon it he took my hand in his.**

"**I will be your willing slave if you will only allow me to gaze upon your beauty." He said as he knelt trembling beside me.**

**Pressing his lips to my fingertips he stood and quickly left to room.**

**I knew he did not want me to see him breakdown again.**

**I had already told him that seeing him like that hurt me, and he had said that he did not want to bring me more pain.**

**((Authors Notes: Erik's POV: After all I have put her through in the last hours she still wished to stay with me. Oh not just stay but she was willing to touch me and allow me to touch her. I could not allow her to see my tears. Even though now they were tears of joy.**

**I stopped and fell to my knees in the darkness of the tunnel. Ripping the mask from my face I allowed my tears to flow freely down my cheeks. I felt as though my heart would burst in my chest at the joy she had brought me.))**

**Looking around I saw Erik's sword lying on the floor where he had dropped it and then at the spot on the rug where Erik had held me.**

**Could I overcome my fear and learn to accept him as my husband and lover again?**

**It had felt good being in his arms.**

**As my eye continued around the room I saw Laddie watching me with his eyes full of wonder and gratitude. **

**Reaching out my hand I motioned for him to come to me.**

**He ran to me as I sat up opening my arms.**

**Pulling him to me I caressed his back as he silently cried on my shoulder.**

**Whispering in his ear I said "He should never have touched you like that. I know I am not big or strong but I will always try and be here to protect you. You have become such a wonderful companion and friend to me and if he were to ever harm you I would never forgive him."**

**We sat there in each others arms and cried until Laddie finally pulled away from me wiping his face on his sleeve.**

**Turning he seemed to be looking for something. **

**Then spotting a piece of paper and a quill he ran to them and wrote with a feverous need.**

**Coming back to where I sat, he handed me what he had written:**

**_Thank you_**

**_But you do not need put yourself in danger for me._**

**_I have been with my master for years now and know of his rages and he has never truly hurt me._**

**_You have become a friend too me also and I love you with all my heart as I would a sister. And I know my master cares for you also._**

**_Please be gentle and understanding of him, he has been hurt before and I do not wish to see him hurt so again. He has been the only father and family I have had until your arrival here._**

**_Again I thank you for what you did in stopping him in his rage._**

**_Laddie_**

**I read the note and looked up at him with tears in my eyes.**

"**Oh Laddie I love you too."**

**He grinned at me and ducked his head blushing.**

**Reaching out I ruffled his hair and smiled at him.**

**His innocent words said so much. He seemed to harbor no malice against what Erik had done to him. To the contrary he still seemed to love and care for Erik deeply.**

**I would cherish his words and try to be kind and understanding with Erik.**


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47:**

**I watched as Laddie looked up and paled as a look of fear came into his eyes.**

**Erik had returned.**

**Quickly folding Laddie's note I slipped it into the bodice of my dress.**

**Oh how I hoped Erik would not question me about it nor try to take it from me.**

**Reaching out I took Laddie's hand in mine and tried to silently reassure him that all would be well.**

**As Erik stepped around the couch Laddie pulled his hand from mine and quickly moved away.**

"**You should have your foot up on pillows Lesta so it will heal." Erik said in a quiet tone of voice.**

"**Forgive me I was not thinking. I'll…I'll put it up now." I said in a voice laced with nervousness. I found it hard to keep my fear in check as I waited to see how he was going to act now that he had returned.**

"**Allow me to help." He said as he bent forward and began to lift my legs and turn me on the couch. Assuring that I was comfortable he stood and turned to Laddie.**

**Laddie held his breath as he waited for Erik to address him.**

"**Would you mind going and finding something for My Lady to eat. I am sure she is hungry." Looking at me he added "Are you not My Dear?"**

"**Yes Erik, I am a bit hungry." I answered even though I was not sure I would be able to eat. My nerves were so raw and the way he was acting (So calm and in control) made me wonder if he would not snap again if anything was against his liking.**

"**Well then what are you waiting for? My Lady is hungry." He said to Laddie.**

**Laddie nodded and hastily ran to find me something to eat.**

**Sitting there I worried my hands in my lap as I wondered what Erik was going to do next.**

**Then kneeling beside me he took my hands in his and said "You have made me so happy: Just knowing that you are willing to allow me the chance to prove my worthiness. It is more than I deserve." He was beginning to tremble as he spoke and his eyes radiated such hope as I looked at them.**

**Slipping my right hand from his, I reached out and touched the side of his head. Tracing my fingers around the edge of his mask I watched as he held his breath and closed his eyes.**

**Sliding my hand lower I moved it behind his neck and gently pulled him to me as I whispered "Hold me."**

**I heard a moan escape his lips as he wrapped his arms around me.**

"**Erik" I whispered "If this causes you pain…"**

"**No. no there is no pain, only joy and pleasure." He answered quickly.**

**It almost seemed like we were starting over.**

**Yet with everything that had happened, could we?**

**It did feel wonderful to be in his arms.**

**Could I learn to trust him?**

**I knew how violent he could be, but when he was like this, I could almost imagine being like this always.**

**He held me against his chest as he knelt there on the floor.**

**I felt his hand shake as he gently caressed my back.**

**He breathing seemed labored and when I moved to settle closer to him he let out a small gasp.**

"**Oh Lesta if I am dreaming, never let me wake."**

"**This is no dream Erik. I am here with you, in your arms."**

"**You grant me so much, but why? You know what I am and yet you are here in my arms…"**

**Pulling away from him so I could look at him I covered his lips with my fingers. "Hush Erik, please do not question why I am here. Only know that I am."**

**Catching my hand in his he began to kiss my fingers. Turning my hand over, he kissed my palm and then my wrist.**

**I thought he was intent on working his way up my arm but he stopped and moved my hand to his heart.**

**I could fell how hard it was beating in his chest.**

"**You hold my heart in your hand Lesta. I beg you; do not cast it aside, for if you do I would surly die."**

"**Please Erik stop...!" I cried "I can not hear these words you are speaking. They tear at me too badly."**

**Bringing my hand back to his lips he said "Forgive me. I did not mean to offend you with my words."**

**I could see his pain as I looked into his eyes.**

**Raising my free hand I caressed his hair and said "Erik you have not offended me. It is just that you speak so intensely of things. Things I am not ready or able to hear."**

**Pulling me back into his embrace he said "I will do as you wish and not speak of these things again."**

**Hearing Laddie enter with my tray of food Erik released me and stood.**

**Turning he took the tray from Laddie and said "You may go. I will care for My Lady now.**

**Nodding Laddie turned and fled the room.**

**I knew he was still fearful of Erik as was I. But I also knew that Erik was trying to be kind.**

**As Erik sat the tray on the table he turned and smiled at me as he offered to feed me.**

**My mind immediately went to last time Erik had feed me and where that had led.**

**Shaking my head I said "No…No thank you. I would prefer to feed myself.**

"**As you wish" He said as he moved the tray to my lap and lifted the cover.**

**Erik sat and watched me eat.**

**Even though this was not the first time he had watched me eat, I still found it unnerving. **

**My hand began to shake and I feared I would spill the tray if he did not look away soon.**

**Clearing my throat I whispered "Erik must you watch me so intently. I promise not to vanish."**

"**You look so beautiful in that dress." He said in a husky voice that made me want to cover myself.**

"**Thank…thank you." I stammered not knowing what else to say.**

**Then looking back down at the tray I knew I could eat no more.**

**I started to lift the tray from my lap, meaning to set it aside. But before I could turn Erik was there taking it into his hands.**

**As he sat it aside he knelt beside me looking at me with such hunger it was frightening. **

**Leaning away from him I whispered brokenly "Please…please Erik, do not look at me so. You frighten me when you…when you…" I could not finish.**

"**Forgive me. I forgot myself." He said as he hung his head in shame.**

**I reached out and stroked his hair and felt him tremble beneath my touch.**

**I hated seeing my strong and confident Erik so broken, especially knowing that I was the cause of it.**

"**My poor Erik, what have we done to one another?" I whispered.**

**Looking up at me with unshed tears in his eyes he said "You have done nothing but make me happy my dear Lesta."**

"**Oh what a liar you are Erik, I know I have hurt you."**

**He began to protest but I silenced him by placing my fingers against his lips as I said "hush".**

**Then continuing I said "I am not without blame, and I am far from perfect."**

**He shook his head vehemently but said nothing knowing that I meant to speak and be heard.**

"**It is true. I am not perfect, but yet who is? I know that part of the reason you brought me here was because I reminded you of…of her. But I think you now know that I am not her." **

"**Yes I do fear you and what you are capable of doing to me and too others. Maybe someday we will learn how not to hurt each other. But I only know that now I do not wish to see you in pain. But I fear that I might lead you to think that I am willing or able to offer you more than…than this." My words trailed off and I realized that I had taken his hand in mine as I rested my other hand against the side of his head.**

**He looked at me as though he were seeing me for the first time.**

**Maybe it was because I had said more to him with those few word than I have ever said before. Or it might have been because I had finally admitted my own guilt. Or it could have been any number of things I did not know. But I did know that in that moment there might just be a chance for us.**

**His hand trembled as he brought my fingers to his lips and kissed them.**

**Then in a voice filled with emotion he said "I will ask no more of you than what you tell me I may have."**

**I pulled him to me wrapping my arms around him and listened to his ragged breathing as he accepted my comfort.**


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48:**

**Erik was true to his word as he cared for me as my ankle healed.**

**Not once did he press me or try to force me to his will and I came to enjoy having him near me.**

**He was even discreet when my time of the month came, as not to cause me undo embarrassment. **

**We spent hours together.**

**Reading or I would listen to him play his music.**

**He even taught me how to play chess.**

**At night he would tuck me into my bed and he would sleep on a pallet he had made for himself on the floor. So he would be near if I would need anything.**

**Then one evening as he played the piano he turned to me and ask if I would consider singing for him.**

**I immediately said "No. I do not sing."**

"**But I have heard you Lesta, and you have a beautiful voice. I would so love the hear you sing again."**

"**What are you talking about Erik? I have not sung and I have no plans of ever singing."**

"**Ah but you have sung."**

"**When did I sing?"**

"**It was the day you injured your ankle. And it was a sound I will never forget. Your voice was pure and vibrant. I long to hear it again, so won't you please sing for me."**

"**I do not remember much about that day Erik." I said becoming upset. "Especially what happened after you gave me that…that medicine."**

**Coming to knell by where I sat Erik took my hands into his and said "Your voice was like that of an angel's."  
**

"**Do not speak to me of angels." I hissed at him as I pulled my hands from his and turned away him. "I do not wish to speak of these things. Angels and music be damned. I am not her! I will never be her! So No Erik I will not sing for you!" I was becoming enraged at the thought that he could even dare ask me such a thing.**

**Standing I started to limp away from him. **

**I did not want to hear what he had to say.**

**Then he was at my side offering me his arm to lean on as he always did.**

"**Forgive me Lesta. I did not mean to upset you. It is only that I long to hear you sing."**

**Facing him I said "I will not sing for you Erik. I may be caged here, but I am no bird to be taught to sing at her master's command."**

**He grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me. **

**I could see the rage in his eyes. **

"**So your life here is so horrid that you would compare it to a cage. I could tell you tales of what it is truly like to be caged. I have tried to be the man you need me to be, but it's not enough is it Lesta? It will never be enough." He said as he pushed me away from him. "You will always see me as a monster."**

"**No Erik" I cried. "I do not see you as a monster." I said as I lowered myself to the rug.**

**Then looking up at him I said "It is just when you speak of angels and music it reminds me of when you first brought me here, and how you tried to make me her. And now that I have seen her I know why you fell in love with her. She is beautiful: Her wavy hair and her eyes that shine with life, and her pink skin that glows from her time in the sun."**

"**Look at me Erik." I screamed "I am nothing in comparison to her. My skin is so pale it looks like paper. My eyes have dulled to the point that when I look at them I see a ghost looking back. My hair may be long and full, but it is dull in color. I am no longer a beauty. Hell, if anyone here is monster it is me!"**

**Erik sank to his knees before me. But as he reached out to touch me I recoiled from him saying "Don't. I do not want your comfort. How can you even stand to be near me?"**

"**You are beautiful Lesta."**

"**Liar… I have eyes Erik. I know what I see when I look in the mirror."**

"**But you are beautiful. When I look at you I see the most breathtaking creature that was ever created. Your skin may be pale, but to me it looks like the finest alabaster. And I could lose myself in your eyes, for I see in them the depth of your soul and the beauty that radiates from within you."**

**Reaching out he caressed my hair and said "Your hair is your crowning glory, the way it cascades down your back. If you would allow me I would run my fingers through it day and night."**

**Looking at him I said "Only you would see a thing like me as a beauty. But then again I see you as a man, where others see a monster." **

**A small sad smile played on my lips as I said those words.**

**Pulling away from him I stood.**

**As I made my way up the stairs I looked back at him and where he remained on the rug.**

**Clearing my throat I said "Erik would you please bring me something to drink. I will be in the library."**

**He looked up at me with such hope in his eyes. "As you wish Lesta, and maybe we could continue where we left off 'Great Expectations'."**

"**That would be nice, Erik."**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I sat on the couch with my feet curled under me as I waited for Erik.**

**Why had I said those things to him?**

**I knew he cared for me, for if he did not, my words would not bring him such pain.**

**Rapping his knuckles against the door he entered carrying a tray of tea and biscuits.**

**Sitting the tray on the low table in front of the couch he poured me a cup and handed it to me.**

"**Thank you Erik. You are too kind to me sometimes."**

"**You are quite welcome My Dear."**

"**Can you ever forgive me for the horrible things I have said?"**

"**There is nothing to forgive. You were only speaking from your heart."**

**Sitting my cup aside I said "I only said those things because I feel like I will always be second in your life and in your heart. I admit it Erik. A part of me is jealousy of what you shared with Christine. And hurts me knowing that there is nothing I can do to change it."**

"**My dear and darling Lesta, you are my wife and it hurts me knowing that you think that there is anyone but you in my life or in my heart. Can you ever forgive me for causing you to feel that way?"**

**He knelt before me as he spoke and when he finished I took his hands into mine and said "It is not your doing Erik. You have treated me with more kindness these last few weeks than I deserve. And a part of me truly wants to believe what you say. But you can not deny that 'She' was your first love and will always hold a special place in your heart."**

**Bringing his hands to my lips I whispered "It is my place to learn to accept what you offer me… Hold me Erik. I need to feel your arms around me and know that I too have a place in your heart."**

"**Oh Lesta your words are like sweet daggers in my heart. Both cutting me and filling me with the knowledge that you may yet care for me." He said as he gathered me in his arms. **

**His body trembled as he caressed my hair and back. **

**Rocking me gently he whispered "You are my heart and I only hope that someday I will have a place in yours."**


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49: **

**We clung to one another needing the comfort and security that was being offered. **

**When we finally did separate I stared into his eyes longing to remain near him always.**

**Erik finally shook himself and cleared his throat regaining his focus.**

"**Your tea has become cold. Would you like me to bring fresh?" He said trying to ignore the fact that his need for me had become quite evident.**

"**No Erik, I don't think I want any tea right now." I said not wanting him to leave me.**

**He stood and quickly turned his back to me.**

**I knew why.**

**Standing I went to him and placed my hand on his back.**

"**Erik, why do you turn from me? Am I not your wife?"**

"**Yes Lesta, you are my wife and I do enjoy holding you. But there are times when I find it difficult to control my baser urges and I do not wish to frighten you with my passion. I know that you do not want me in that way now, and I am trying very hard to respect your wishes."**

**Erik wasn't the only one with urges. **

**I too was feeling my need for him.**

**It had been over three weeks since the last time I had let him touch me intimately.**

**And to be honest I did miss his touch.**

"**Turn around Erik."**

**He shook he's head and started to step away from me.**

"**Then I will leave you to your privacy Erik."**

**I said as I turned and left the library.**

**I went to my room and laid across the bed thinking.**

**I wanted him to come to me.**

**I wanted him to touch me.**

**Getting up I went into the bathroom and ran myself a bath.**

**Shedding my clothes I stepped into the steaming water.**

**Picking up the sponge I dipped it into the tub.**

**Then bringing it to my throat I allowed the water to run down over my body as I stood there.**

**I repeated this act several times before I notices Erik standing there watching me.**

**When had he entered my room?**

**He could be so silent at times.**

**For a split second I thought about trying to cover myself.**

**Then I thought let him watch.**

**Ignoring him I picked up the soap and lathered the sponge.**

**Then I began to bathe as I stood there in the steaming tub.**

**I ran the soapy sponge up my arms and then down my neck to my breasts.**

**Slowly and carefully I washed each mound before moving on down my body.**

**Lifting my leg and setting my foot on the edge of the tub I washed from my ankle to my hip then lowering that foot back into the water. I did the same to the other leg, but only this time I did not stop at my hip. Slowing working my way back across my thigh I brought the sponge to my female region. **

**I heard him gasp as I slowly washed the core of my being. **

**Then looking at him I said "Would mind washing my back?" as I held the sponge out to him.**

**I saw how he clung to the door facing for support, and how his breath was coming out in ragged gasps. **

"**Would you please wash my back Erik?" I repeated as I laid the sponge on the edge of the tub and turned around lifting my hair to allow him access to me.**

**I heard him whimper and then I felt the sponge gently touch my back.**

**He used the same circular motion he had used last time he had washed my back.**

**It felt wonderful.**

**As he pulled the sponge away from my skin I sank into the water.**

"**L…Lesta…May I…May I hold your ha…hair?"**

**Smiling I said "Yes Erik, you may."**

**I rinsed the soap from my body as he knelt by the tub holding my hair out if the water. **

**Then just to torture him a bit more. I stretched out and cupping water in my hands and poured it over my breasts and stomach as I moved my legs about in the tub.**

**He was starting to shake and breathe harder.**

"**Lesta…Why..?"**

**Then suddenly standing I asked "Would you please hand me a towel?"**

**Seeming lost for a moment he looked up at me as he still knelt on the floor.**

"**A towel, Erik" I repeated.**

"**Yes…A towel…I will get you a towel."**

**He turned to the cupboard and almost ripped the door from the frame as he opened it.**

**Turning back to me he handed me the towel with shaking hands.**

**I took it from him and began to slowly dry myself.**

**He pressed himself against the wall as he watched me.**

**I knew he was fighting to keep his promise not to touch me without my permission.**

**Should I grant him permission? **

**I ran the towel over my breasts then lifting and drying under them. **

**Working my way down my body I leaned forward as I lifted my foot to the edge of the tub drying my leg. Then stepping from the tub I turned and put my other foot on the tub's edge to dry my other leg. I knew I was giving Erik a perfect view of me from behind. And I could hear him struggling for breath. **

**But as I turned to leave the bathroom he grabbed me from behind.**

**Leaning back against him I whispered "I hope you enjoyed my bath as much as I did." **

**Then jerking away from him I moved into my bedroom.**

**Picking up my robe I slipped it on covering myself as I went to sit at the vanity.**

**As I brushed my hair I watched Erik exit the bathroom and seat him self in the chair.**

**Placing his face in his hands I heard him say "Why Lesta..? You know that it is all I can do not to touch you. And then you do something like that." Then he snapped his head up and roared "Are purposely trying to torture me? Do you take pleasure in trying to break me? Are you trying to make me break my word to you so you can call me a monster and a rapist?"**

**Spinning around and standing I faced him and yelled "I did not ask you to follow me, and I damned well did not invite you to watch me bathe! No one forced you to stay; you did that of your own accord! So don't you dare try and blame me for what you did!!!"**

**I knew he was on the edge of snapping and breaking his promise not to touch me. But his accusation angered me and I did not stop to consider my actions as I stormed across the room and slapped him.**

**But as my hand connected with the side of his mask and I felt it come away from his face I knew that I had made a fatal error.**


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50:**

**Standing he grabbed me before I could attempt to get away from him.**

**Glaring down at me mask-less he hissed "So I'm pervert am I? I don't remember hearing you ask me to leave. So you must have gotten some pleasure at me watching you. And now that you have so kindly removed my mask, I can only guess at what you are now thinking."**

"**Let me go Erik." I pleaded "You're frightening me."**

"**Oh my dear you are not the first to find my horrid face frightening." He laughed evilly.**

"**It's not your face Erik! It's your anger and rage that frighten me! I fear that you wish to hurt me for what I have done!" I cried at him. "I should not have teased you the way I did. But I did not expect you to stay once you saw I was in the bath."**

**I felt his grip on me loosen, but I did not pull away from him.**

**Instead I stepped closer and brought my hand up to the side of his face. (The same side I had struck only moments before.)**

**I watched as his anger was replaced by shame.**

"**I did not mean…Why Lesta…? How can you even bear to be near me?"**

**(I'm not going to lie and say his face was anything but horrendous and if I had not known him I would have run and coward in fear. But I did know him and I knew that no matter what, he was my husband and that if I fled from him I would be no better than all those who had hurt him before.)**

**Caressing his cheek I said "Where else am I to be Erik? I have no other home than this one. You have shone me kindness and you have cared for me. So how can you ask me such a question?"**

**Grabbing my wrist he removed my hand from his face.**

"**Don't… You mustn't touch my face."**

"**Does it cause you pain?"**

"**No… Not pain like be struck or beaten. But yet it does cause me pain. For I know you only touch me out of pity." He whispered in a sad and forlorn voice.**

**Glaring at him I said "So you think I only touch you because I pity you. You mustn't think very much of me then Erik." I laughed and went on "You must truly think I'm a fool. For I wanted your touch! Your arms around me... But I guess that you have only touched me out of pity!"**

**Jerking my wrist from his grasp I stormed across the room and picked up him mask.**

**Holding it in my hands I looked at it. I felt its texture and realized that it was made from the finest calf skin covered with a glaze to harden and form it to look like a human face.**

**Turning to the mirror I brought it to my face. **

**I looked through the eye holes at my image as I pressed it to my skin wondering what it would be like to feel the need to wear it all the time.**

**As Erik slowly approached me I turned and looked at him with it still covering my face.**

"**Am I beautiful now Erik? Or do you only see a creature to be pitied?" I spat at him.**

"**Please Lesta take off my mask I can not bear to see you wear it." He begged.**

"**Why Erik..? Am I not the same person? Or does this thing…this mask make me a monster?"**

**Holding out his hand he said "Please give it back to me."**

**Removing it from my face I said "I will return it to you, but first you must do something for me."**

"**Anything, just allow me to have it back. I do not like for you to look upon me without it." He said desperately as he reached for it.**

**Keeping it from his grasp I said "Kiss me."**

"**No! I will not do that. What if my skin touches yours? I would not be able to bear it knowing that this… this hideous flesh might soil yours."**

"**But that is what I want Erik. I want you to kiss me."**

"**Please Lesta ask me anything but that!"**

**Walking over to the fire I held his mask out. **

"**I will burn it and any others I find Erik! You said you would grant me anything! And then when I tell you what I want you deny me! So I guess you are a 'Liar'!"**

**Crossing the room quickly, Erik grabbed me and snarled "If it is a kiss you want from this horrid face. Then it is a kiss you will have!"**

**Pressing his lips to mine he ravaged my mouth.**

**As he kissed me I let his mask slip from my fingers to the floor. **

**Then bringing my hand up, I pressed my palm to his cheek as I placed my other hand behind his head holding him.**

**As we parted breathlessly he tried to turn his face from mine, but I stopped him.**

**Staring into his I eyes I said "You are my husband Erik. Mask or no mask you are my husband and my lover."**

**(I had always known what his mask covered and I had still allowed him to touch me so why should now be any different.) **

**Stepping back from him I untied my robe and let it slide from my body.**

**Dropping it so it covered where his mask lay on the floor I said "Touch me Erik."**

"**I can't… we mustn't… don't look at me!" He cried as he turned from me covering his face with his hands.**

**Moving so I was in front of him I pulled his hands from his face.**

"**Am I so ugly Erik that you would turn from my nakedness?"**

"**NO! You are beautiful. It is I who am ugly and do not deserve to be in your presence like this." He said pointing to his face.**

**Falling to his knees he searched for his mask.**

**Kneeling before him I placed my hands on his cheeks and lifted his face to mine and kissed him.**

"**Forget your mask Erik." I whispered as parted my lips from his.**

"**NO!" He yelled as he shoved me away from himself. **

"**Fine, Then take your mask and go!" I yelled back at him as I grabbed my robe and his mask from the floor. But as he went to grab his mask from me I threw it at the door.**

"**Get out Erik! But remember I offered myself to you, and you cast me aside." I said as tears streamed down my face.**

**Scooping up his mask and putting it back on, he turned to me.**

"**Lesta…"**

"**Leave Erik..! Just Go..! You've hurt me enough for one day. So just get out."**

**I yelled as I frantically wiped the tears from my eyes.**

**He began to slowly approach me and said "Forgive me Lesta. I just wish to shield you from this." He pointed at his face. "You must never be made to look at it."**

**I could see the look in his eyes.**

**Sinking to my knees as I held my robe closed I said "Don't…please don't…"**


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51:**

**Kneeling in front of me Erik pulled me into his arms.**

"**You are so beautiful Lesta." He said as he caressed my hair.**

**Leaning back and looking at me he whispered "So beautiful."**

**I whimpered and tried to back away from him but he caught me.**

**Tracing his fingers down my neck to my shoulder he parted the front of my robe.**

**Running his hand down my throat to my chest he cupped my breast and slowly caressed my nipple with his thumb.**

**Seeing it spring to life he leaned forward and placed his lips on it and began to suckle.**

**I wanted to push him away, but I feared he would become violent.**

**I bit my lip until I thought it would bleed to keep from screaming.**

**Then when I began to tremble he must have mistaken it for passion, because he picked me up in his arms and quickly carried me to the bed.**

**Standing over me he swiftly shed his clothing and then he was on me.**

**His hands exploring my body, his lips claiming mine ferociously in his eagerness to possess me.**

**I knew this was my punishment for teasing him earlier and knew I deserved it.**

**He was my husband and had every right to use my body as he wished.**

**Lifting his lips from mine he tried to look into my eye, but I turned my head fearing he would see my unshed tears.**

**Growling he parted my legs and began to slide his fingers in and out of me as he rubbed his thumb against my bud. **

**To my udder shame my body began to respond to his touch.**

**But my mind screamed for this horror to end.**

**Slipping his fingers from me he took hold of his manhood and placed it where his fingers had just been.**

**Slowly riding me he whispered in my ear. "You feel so wonderful my beauty. And the way your body looks in this light is breathtaking. I am so glad I found you and made you my wife."**

**With each of his thrusts into me I felt like a part of me was dieing.**

**As his pace quickened he began to groan and grabbed my hips thrusting into me furiously. **

**Then it was over.**

**Pulling himself from me he rolled onto his side.**

**Seeing my chance to escape I leapt from the bed and gathering my soiled robe around me I ran to the bathroom.**

**Closing the door behind, I fell to my knees and cried into my hands.**

**What had just happened was my fault and mine alone.**

**I should have known better than to taunt and tease him as I did.**

**Had I not offered him my body so brazenly, he would never have touched me.**

**Crawling to the counter I pushed myself from the floor and stood on shaky legs.**

**Running water into the sink I grabbed a washcloth.**

**Knocking on the door he asked me if I was alright.**

**Trembling but trying to make my voice sound calm I lied to him and said I was fine and that I would be out shortly.**

**Washing my face and then my body I realized that I needed to escape from this nightmare. That I could no longer pretend that this was my home and that everything was going to be fine. **

**I thought of having Laddie carry a note to Nadir. But I knew what would happen if Erik discovered it. **

**Then realizing what I had to do, I said a silent prayer for strength and guidance.**

**Turning to the door I pulled my robe around me and tied it securely.**

**As I entered the bedroom Erik slipped his arms around my waist from behind and I froze.**

**Whispering in my ear he said "I was beginning to worry. Are you sure nothing is wrong?"**

**Covering his hands with mine I said "No Erik, nothing is wrong. Why would anything be wrong? I have a caring and gentle husband who sees to my every need. What could possibly be wrong?"**

**The whole time I spoke I prayed that Erik would not see or hear what was in my heart.**

**Stepping around me he took my hands into his and raised them to his lips.**

"**Are you sure that you do not need anything?"**

**Thinking quickly I said "I am a bit hungry" as I smiled weakly.**

"**Then I will get you something to eat." He said as he turned to leave.**

**As the door closed I sprang into action. **

**Running to the closet I grabbed a dress and then going to the dresser I pulled out some undergarments and stockings. Rolling everything together I remembered I forgot get a pair of shoes. Running back over to the closet I pulled out a pair of black slippers. **

**My hands shook as I rolled everything together and took them to the bathroom.**

**Opening the cupboard I place my bundle behind the stack of towels hoping Erik would not find it.**

**Returning to the bedroom I quickly put on a nightgown and a clean robe.**

**Sitting at the vanity I tried to brush my hair and calm my nerves.**

**Tapping on the door Erik entered carrying a tray with some thinly sliced roast beef and bread. There was also a dish of sliced fruit and a cup of tea.**

**After sitting it on the table, Erik walked over to me and lightly kissed me on the top of my head saying "I hope your meal is to your liking."**

"**I'm sure it will be." I said.**

**Looking at me in the mirror Erik said "You are so beautiful" as he caressed my hair.**

"**I must attend to few things, but do not fear I will return shortly My Dear. Eat your meal and finish readying yourself for bed and I will return to hold you as you sleep."**

**I wanted to cry.**

**He seemed so happy.**

**And I knew what I was planning would cause his world to come crashing in a round him.**

**But I had to. I had to save myself before I became completely trapped in this dark dungeon.**

**I had remained here far too long as it was.**

**Smiling at him I said "I will."**

**After he left the room I went over and tried to eat knowing that I would need my strength. But after a few bits I could eat no more. **

**Standing I walked around the room blowing out some of the candles and saying good-bye to what had been my room.**

**Going to the bed I turned down the covers and sat on the edge praying again for strength and courage.**

**Then laying down I waited for Erik to return.**


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52: **

**Returning, Erik laid down on the bed and gathered me in his arm.**

**I went to him willingly and rested my head against his chest.**

"**Lesta, I am sorry for what happened between us earlier. You should never been made to look upon my horrid face."**

**Whispering I said "Your face does not bother me Erik. I've known since my first day here what your mask covered. And I've come to learn that you are nothing more than a man. Forgive me for not making you understand that sooner."**

**Tightening his arms around me he said "You are the most special creature ever created My Beauty. So understanding and caring. I do not deserve to have someone so precious."**

**I knew he was trying not to cry so I said "Good night Erik." **

**Then rising up I brushed my lips to his before settling back against him.**

**As I laid there listening to his breathing slow and deepen in sleep I thought again about what I was going to do.**

**I knew I was preparing to hurt him but what could I do. **

**Carefully sliding away from him I slipped off the bed.**

**Creeping my way to the bathroom I prayed.**

**Listening for any movement from the bed I grabbed the bundle of clothes from the cupboard.**

**Tiptoeing across the bedroom I made it to the door.**

**Holding my breath I reached for the door handle and prayed it would not creak as I open it.**

**Looking back at Erik I quietly whispered good-bye, then silently pulling the door shut I bolted down the steps.**

**Cowering and listening for any movement from Erik, I began to change clothes in the tiny alcove under the stairs.**

**After pulling my dress on and lacing it with shaky hands I turned and made my way quietly to Laddie's room.**

**Entering and closing the door behind, I lit a candle.**

**Gently shaking Laddie I whispered "Please wake up. I need your help."**

**Rolling over and opening his eyes he stared at me sleepily. **

**Whispering "Please you must help me. I need you to lead my out of here. I need you to take me to Nadir's."**

**Shaking his head, he curled into a ball on the bed as he covered his ears.**

"**Please Laddie I must leave here and you are my only hope." I whispered emphatically. **

"**If I do not leave here I will go mad. You once wrote that you thought of me like a sister. Would you wish for your sister to be driven to madness? Please Laddie, please help me." I begged.**

**I knew that if I entered the labyrinth alone I would never find my way.**

**But I also knew that by making Laddie help me I was putting his life in danger.**

**Sitting up Laddie touched my face and I realized I had started to cry in my desperation.**

**Wiping my tears away he looked up at the ceiling and I knew he was worrying about Erik. Then looking back at me he nodded his head agreeing to help me.**

**Breathing a sigh of relief I stepped to the door and turned my back to him to give him privacy to dress.**

**Touching my shoulder to gain my attention he motioned for me to remain in his room while he went and got me a cape to wear.**

**Returning he took my hand and lead me through a door that I had never even knew existed.**

**Winding our way through a maze of tunnels then up a flight of stairs we finally made our way to another door.**

**Carefully opening it Laddie pulled me through behind him motioning for me to remain silent.**

**Peering around I realized we were in the Opera House.**

**As we quickly made our way through several hallways I barely had time to catch my breath before we were stepping outside.**

**Looking up, I began to cry as I beheld the moon and the stars for the first time in almost two years. **

**Taking a deep breath, I inhaled the sweetest air I had ever smelled.**

**Tugging my hand Laddie began to lead me through the streets of Paris to Nadir's home.**

**After what seemed like miles we came to Nadir's door.**

**Pounding on it Laddie squeezed my hand to reassure me that we would soon be safe.**

**The door opened and a man that I did not recognize stood there.**

**I feared that Laddie had led me to the wrong house until I heard Nadir holler "Who it is at this late hour Darius?"**

**Crying out I said "It is me Lesta! I need your help. We need your help!"**

"**Allah be praised! Come in, come in child." He said as he rushed forward and took my hand.**

"**Bring up some tea." He said to the man that he had called Darius.**

**Pulling me and Laddie into his house, Nadir peeked out and looked up and down the street before closing the door.**

**Ushering us into his parlor he had us sit down before he asked "Has he hurt Madam. Do you need for me to call for a physician?"**

"**No… No, I do not need a physician. But I do need your help. I know that by my being here puts you in danger. But I did not know where else to go."**

"**Hush and dry your tears." He said as he handed me a handkerchief. "Now tell me what he has done to you to cause you to suddenly flee from him."**

**Taking a deep and shaky breath I began to tell Nadir that I feared if I had remained there much longer I would have lost my mind. **

**I told him about how I had struck Erik and caused his mask to fall to the floor. But I could not tell him about how Erik had watched me bathe or how he had taken me.**

"**I do not know what to do. But I do know that I need to be away from him." **

**As Darius enter with our tea, I almost leapt from my set in fear that Erik had found me.**

**Shaking I apologized for being so jumpy.**

"**Do not worry Madam. It is understandable seeing what you have been through." Nadir said in a soothing tone.**

**After Darius had finished serving our tea Nadir asked him to prepare a room for me to rest in.**

**Nodding, Darius left the room.**

**Sipping my tea I commented that it tasted wonderful and that it felt wonderful finally being free.**

**Leaning forward Nadir asked me if I had any family that he might contact.**

**Shaking my head I told him "No" that my parents had died in a fire and that I had no one else to turn to.**

**Nadir then said "I might know of a place where you and Laddie can take shelter until I can make arrangements for you to begin a new life away from here. I will contact my friend in the morning and see if she can help you."**

**Then standing he said "I am sure you must be tired after your journey. If you would kindly follow me I will show you to your room."**

**As he showed me the room I would be resting in he said "Do not worry Madam. I will protect you and see that Erik never harms you again."**

**Thanking him I looked around the room and smiled finally beginning to feel safe.**


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53: **

**Changing into a nightdress that Darius had laid for me I began to relax.**

**Then crawling into bed I rested my head against the pillows.**

**But as my eyes began to drift shut I heard a loud crash and then Erik's voice.**

**Springing from the bed I cowered in the far corner of the room as I listened to Erik demand that Nadir tell him where I was.**

**I heard Nadir ask him to explain himself and why he had invaded his home at such an hour.**

"**I know she is here! I can smell her! Just give her to me and I might let you live!"**

"**Erik! Calm yourself. You aren't making any sense."**

"**She left me Daroga. Lesta left me as I slept... I must find her… I thought that she would have come here." **

**He began to sound desperate and my heart broke for him.**

"**She saw me without my mask and she touched me and kissed me." He sobbed.**

"**Why Daroga..? Tell me why would she do such a thing as touch and kiss my decrepit flesh?"**

"**I knew that the day would come when she would flee from me. But I never dared dream that she would…" He began to sob harder.**

**Unable to stop myself I crept to the door and opened it.**

**Seeing Erik laying on the floor crying, the last of my resolve vanished and I went to him.**

**Knelling beside him I touched his hair and said "I am here. I am so sorry I should not have…" I began to cry and my tears mingled with his on the floor.**

**Raising his head he looked into my eyes. Then bringing his hand up, he brushed my tears from my cheek.**

"**Lesta" he sighed "Why..?"**

"**Erik… Can you ever forgive me? I… I did not mean to cause you such pain."**

"**Oh Lesta My Beauty… I am the one that should beg you. I am a monster. I do not deserve…"**

**Covering his lips with my fingers I said "Hush. You mustn't say such things."**

**Looking up a Nadir I whispered "What have I done?" **

**Then turning I saw Darius pointing a gun at Erik. Crying out "NO" I moved to cover Erik with my body. "You can't… I won't let you..!"**

**Swinging my head back around, I cried at Nadir "Tell him! Tell him!"**

**Erik moved me from him and sat up.**

**Then looking at Darius he said "Do it… End this."**

**Throwing myself at Erik I cried "NO! Stop this madness! I can not be made to be a widow."**

**Grabbing his shirt front, I shook him and said "Take me home Erik. Take me home."**

**Tears were streaming down my face and I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest.**

**Standing Erik looked down at me as I clung to his legs and said "You would willingly return with me?"**

"**Yes Erik… I was foolish to leave you and I see that now. Please…please just take me home." I begged.**

**Reaching his hand down for me to take, he helped me to stand.**

**Wrapping my arms around him I buried my face in his chest.**

"**Forgive me Daroga. I will pay for the damage I did to your door." Erik said.**

**Stepping forward Nadir said "Put the gun away Darius. I think we've had enough drama for one night."**

"**Why don't we go into the parlor? I'm sure Madam Lesta needs to sit down and gather herself." Nadir continued.**

"**I will say where my 'wife' goes Daroga." Erik said harshly and I knew that the dangerous Erik had returned.**

**He could change so quickly and I began to remember why I had left him.**

**Trying to step away from him, I felt his arms wrap around me and trap me against him.**

**Trembling in renewed fear I looked up at him. Seeing what looked like fire burning in his eyes I began to regret coming to him.**

"**So My Dear you wish to return home. Then that is where we will go." Erik said as he looked down at my face.**

"**May I…may I at least change into my…my dress Erik?" I stammered.**

**Looking at me with a wicked grin on his lips he said "I do not think there will be a need for that seeing that I will be taking you to bed once we are home."**

"**Please Erik… I beg you. Allow me to change." I said as I continued to tremble in dread of what was to happen to me once we returned home.**

"**Erik, please. Permit her to change. I am sure she will not try to escape you again." Nadir said trying to come to my aid.**

"**If it is your wish Lesta, then I will allow it." Then looking at Nadir Erik said "But if this some type of trick, you will die and your lap dog there will not be able to stop me."**

**As he released me I whispered "I will only be a moment, I swear. And then I will leave here with you."**

**Running to the bedroom and closing the door I jerked the nightdress over my head and grabbed my clothing. Rushing to put them on I almost tore my stockings. Then as I pulled my dress on I could hardly tie the laces my hands were shaking so badly.**

**As I reentered the hallway I saw Erik and Nadir talking quietly and hoped that things had calmed down.**

**Walking on shaky legs I approached Erik. **

**I thought of trying to smile, but knew it would only look fake.**

**So keeping my eyes downcast I went to his side.**

**Nadir spoke first and said "Erik has granted me leave to visit you in the future. So do not fear Madam, I will be seeing you again soon."**

**Looking up at Erik surprised I asked "Is this true?"**

"**Do not think me completely heartless My Dear. I know that you long for company other than mine and that my home can be a very lonely place. So I will allow Monsieur Khan to visit occasionally."**

"**Thank you." I said gratefully.**

"**Now if there is nothing else, I think we should take our leave." Erik said.**

"**Your cloak Madam" Darius said as he handed it to me.**

"**Thank you." I said to Darius. Then looking at Nadir I said. "You have both been very kind to me and I thank you again"**

"**Enough of this" Erik snapped. "It is time for us to go."**

**Placing my cloak around my shoulders Erik led me from Nadir's home back to ours.**

**We traveled in silence.**

**But as we neared the Opera House I stopped and looked around feeling like I was bidding this world good bye.**

**Turning to Erik I said "I just wish I could have seen the sunrise."**

**Tugging me forward Erik remained silent.**

**I knew he was angry with me and his silence only added to my nervousness as we made our way through the maze of tunnels.**

**Tripping on a rock, I would have fallen if he had not caught me.**

**Growling Erik said "Must I carry you the rest of the way?"**

"**No, I can walk. I would not want to trouble you anymore than I already have this night." I said in a quiet voice.**

**Pulling me to him he wrapped his arms around me and said "I thought I had lost you forever."**

**I wanted to say 'you would have and you might yet' but I feared for my safety so I said "I am here now Erik. Isn't that what matters?"**

"**You are right Lesta. You are here now, and I will not be so lax in my guardianship of you in the future." He said in a tone that made my blood run cold.**

**Trembling, I thought what have I done?**

**Why did I have to agree so easily to return here to this dark nightmare?**

**But I knew the answer. And it was to save us all. If my sacrifice meant that Nadir and Laddie were safe, I would gladly follow Erik back to hell.**

**Stepping back from me, Erik led me the rest of the way home.**

**Lifting my cloak for my shoulders Erik said "You must be tired from your adventure. Go change into your nightwear and I will join you shortly."**

**Nodding I turned and made my way to my room.**

**Changing I wondered what he was going to do to me.**

**Walking over to the vanity I sat down and began to brush my hair.**

**Turning as Erik entered, my heart stopped when I saw what he was carrying.**


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54:**

**In his hand, Erik carried what appeared to be a silver dagger.**

**Panicked, I slipped from the stool and started to back away from him.**

"**Plea…please…please don't…don't hurt m…m…me. I…I…no…"I sobbed and begged as he stood and watched me.**

**When I could back up no farther I slid down the wall.**

**Cowering in fear of him I watched as he slowly approached me.**

"**Please Erik, please don't kill me. I will learn to obey you. I will not try to run from you again. Just please, please, please don't cut me." I begged.**

**Knelling in front of me, Erik tipped my tear stained face up and looked into my eyes.**

"**Do you truly think me so heartless Lesta as to bring you back here just to slit your pretty throat?" He said as he ran his fingers down my neck and across my throat.**

"**I…I…I don't know. You have been cruel be…before. And…and after…after what…what I've…I've done…I…I just don't n…know." I sobbed. **

"**Oh My Dear sweet Lesta, you should know by now that I would rather die than harm you."**

"**Then why..? Why do you threaten me with that…that dagger? If it is not be used on…on me, then why have you brought it here?"**

**Placing the dagger on the floor Erik reached up and ripped his shirt open.**

**Grabbing my wrist in his right hand, he retrieved the knife from the floor with his left. **

**Then forcing the dagger into my hand, he held the point of it against his chest over the place where his heart lay.**

"**I have brought this dagger for you to end my misery. For it will be less painful to have it plunged into my heart than to be forced to live without you."**

**Watching the blood trickle down his chest where the blade had begun to pierce his skin I cried out "No Erik. Please stop! Do not do this!" as I tried to pull my hand and the dagger away from him.**

"**But My Dear is this not what you want? You are the one that hurt me! You almost had me convinced that you cared for me. That you could even look beyond my mask and care for the man beneath! And then you left me! You ran from me as I slept believing your lies! So my Dear Wife let us finish this. End my life and free yourself from me!" **

"**NO! This is not what I want! I do care for you Erik." I cried. **

"**LIES!!!" He roared. "No one cares for a monster like me! You proved that this night. You lied to me. You kissed me and you lied to me." Then laughing maniacally he said "You even allowed me to join with you in your bed. I say end this! End my accursed life and claim your freedom."**

"**I am not lying when I say I care for you. I do care for you. But I also fear you. That is why I ran from you. I did not want to join with you, but I feared if I said no you would have become violent and hurt me. Please Erik, believe me. I know I have hurt you and I deserve to pay for that pain which I have caused. So please let us put this dagger aside." **

**Tears streamed down my face as I spoke. And I prayed that Erik would hear me and believe what I said for it was the truth. I did care for him. **

**Feeling his grip weaken I pulled the knife away from his chest and placed it behind me on the floor.**

"**I…I did not…You should have said that you did not want me and I would not have taken you. I am a Monster not to even realize that I was hurting you. Oh Lesta, I should be castrated like a beast for what I've done." He cried as he began to back away from me. "You were right to have left me. I should return you to the Daroga. ****But I can not. Forgive me Lesta, but I can not." Grabbing me and pulling me against his chest he whispered "I am a selfish beast and must have you. Even if I must live with the torment of never being able to 'touch you' again, I can not loose you."**

**Standing and lifting me in his arms he cared me to the bed.**

**Laying me down with my head on the pillows he sat beside me and said "Rest now Lesta." as he smoothed my hair from my face. **

**Lifting my hand to his lips he placed a gentle kiss in my palm.**

**As he stood to leave me I said "Erik. Where will you be?"**

"**Why do you ask Lesta?" He asked warily.**

"**I…I was just wondering. I know you need your rest too."**

"**Do not worry yourself about me. I will be fine."**

**Then he left the room.**

**Tossing and turning I was plagued by nightmares of being chased through an endless maze of darkness.**

**Gasping I bolted up in the bed.**

**I could hear strange sounds coming from beyond my door and wondered what it could possibly be.**

**Then I noticed that Erik had left my door ajar.**

**Slipping from beneath the covers I tiptoed to the doorway.**

**Pulling it open slowly I peeked out.**

**What I saw filled me with revulsion and horror.**

**I saw Erik nearly naked kneeling on the cold stone floor with some type of whip in his hand. Raising it again and again he brought the leather ends down upon his back over and over again.**

**Rushing to him I tried to pull it from his grasp before he could do any more damage to himself.**

**Shoving me away he said "Don't..! I must be punished for the things I have done to you. Three times now I have taken you against your will. And for that I will bleed."**

**Raising the whip he began to beat himself again.**

**Lounging myself at him I tore the whip from his grasp with a strength and a fury I did not know I possessed.**

**Then turning I fled from him.**

**Running into the tunnels, I ran until I collapsed onto the dirt and stone ground. **


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55:**

**Curling into ball I lay there as I listened to the sounds around me.**

**I could hear water dripping and the sound of rats squeaking as they ran along the walls. **

**Then I heard Erik coming for me.**

**Pushing myself up, I stood and called out "I'm over here Erik."**

**There was no point in trying to hide from him.**

**And I knew that if I ran I would more than likely get lost.**

**So I stood there in the darkness still holding the whip in my fist waiting for Erik to come to me.**

"**Why Lesta?" he said as he took hold of my shoulders.**

"**I had to stop you Erik. I could not stand there and watch you harm yourself." I said as I brought my hand up to touch his chest and discovered it was still bare. Then I began to wonder if he was still unclothed.**

"**But I deserve to be punished for the pain I have caused you." He whispered.**

**Stepping toward him I said "Take me home."**

**Removing my hand from his chest he led me back through the tunnels.**

**As we walked he said "You should never enter this labyrinth alone. You could be injured again or become lost."**

"**I know, but I had too. I had to stop you and I knew that if I came here you would follow. I never once thought of myself or my own safety. I was only thinking of you."**

**Stopping Erik turned to me and said in a passionate voice "You must never endanger yourself because of me. I am a beast and your safety and wellbeing is the most important thing there is. Please promise me Lesta you will never, ever put yourself in danger again."**

**I knew I should promise him that I wouldn't endanger myself again, but I couldn't.**

"**Erik I can not promise you that." I whispered.**

**I knew in my heart that if he was ever in danger I would do everything in my power to save him, including risking my life.**

"**Why Lesta..? After all I have done too you. The pain I have caused you, how can you say or even think of endangering yourself for me?"**

"**Because I care about you and you are my husband." I said as I stepped to him and brought my hand to the side of his head.**

"**Let's go home Erik. I am becoming cold and tired."**

**He sighed and then turned and led me the rest of the way.**

**As we entered our home I was glad to see that Erik did indeed have his pants on.**

**But my heart sank when I saw the damage he had done to his back.**

**Realizing I still carried the vile whip in my hand I looked it and sank to my knees.**

**Raising my eyes to Erik I said "Are you going to beat me with this thing too? I know I deserve it for the pain I have caused you."**

**Horror filled his eyes and he rushed to me. Falling to his knees he took the whip from my grasp and said "No..! I would never…I could never mare you…Your beauty…No…I may be a monster but I would never do that to you."**

"**Why Erik" I snapped "You said that this is the punishment for hurting another and I have hurt you. So do I not deserve the same punishment?"**

"**NO!" He cried covering his ears. "I can not hear such blasphemy! You are perfection and to even imagine something like that is…is…NO!!!" **

**Pulling his hands from his ears I said "Then what should my punishment be? Since you have punished yourself for my pain, then I must be punished for the pain I have caused you." **

**Looking around I spotted the door to the room of lights and mirrors. **

**Standing I went over to it saying "Maybe I should be made to spend the day in here" as I ran my fingers across the release for the door.**

**Moving into the room I looked at my reflection: My hair was a tangled mess and my face was tearstained and streaked with dirt. My nightgown was filthy and had a few rips from my escape into the tunnels.**

**Coming to the doorway but not entering Erik said "You must come out of there Lesta. It is no place for you."**

**Staring at him I said "I have not yet discovered the secret to awaking the lights that burn. Maybe it is the tree. Does the tree awaken the room?"**

**Turning I walked to the tree and reached out to touch it.**

"**No Lesta you mustn't!" He cried.**

**Running my hand over the surface I stood on my tiptoes and pulled on the lowest branch. I felt it give slightly and the room sprang to life. **

**Light and heat surrounded me and I sank to my knees.**

**I knew Erik feared this room because of the mirrors.**

**I knew he hated his reflection even with his mask on.**

**And now that I was watching him I knew it was even harder for him.**

**He knew that I would see his reflection a thousand times magnified.**

**The heat started to build and I started to sweat.**

**My nightgown clung to me and began to become transparent.**

**Sweat dripped into my eyes and burned them but I would not look away from him.**

"**Well Erik what is it to be? Do I stay here and burn for my crimes?"**

**Stepping from the doorway I heard Erik open a panel and the lights and heat vanished.**

"**NO!!!" I screamed.**

**Entering the room Erik came to me and lifted me into his arms.**

**Carrying me he took me to the couch and wrapped me in a blanket.**

**Looking away from me he said "You must never try to harm yourself Lesta."**

**Pushing the blanket from my shoulders I said "Then promise me you will never harm yourself again Erik."**

**Looking at me his breath caught in his throat.**

**His eyes beheld how the thin material clung to my body revealing my ever curve.**

**Standing I said again "Promise me Erik. Promise to never harm yourself because of me again."**

**Shaking his head he said "I…I…" **

**Reaching past me he grabbed for the blanket.**

**As he leaned forward I moved my body to his and pressed myself against him.**

**Whispering I said "I forgive you. Can you forgive me?"**

"**I can forgive you anything My Beauty as long as you are here with me. But how can you forgive the unforgivable things I have done to you?" He said as he pulled away from me and moved across the room.**

**Following him, I gently touched his shoulder and whispered "I'm here Erik."**

**Looking at his back more closely I could see the dried blood and open wounds. I could also see his old scares and wondered if he had made them also.**

"**Please Erik, let me care for you."**

**He stiffened and started to move away from me.**

"**Erik, please!" I cried "at least let me tend to your back."**

"**Why?" he whispered. "Why do you show me, a monster, such kindness?"**

"**Because I am your wife" I said as took his hand in mine.**

**Turning he looked at me with his tear-filled eyes and whispered "my wife, my angel of mercy."**

**Leading me up the steps, he hesitated at the door to his room when he saw the worried look on my face.**

**The last time I had been in there was the day I had lost our child.**

**But I also knew that that was where Erik kept his medical supplies.**

**Taking a deep breath I nodded my head and said "It's alright Erik you can open the door."**

**As I entered to room I saw that the couch I had laid on that day was gone and the coffin, his coffin, was now in the corner covered with a sheet.**

**Seeing my confusion Erik said "I did not want you reminded of past heart-aches if you ever entered here again."**

**Smiling at him weakly I whispered "Thank you." **

**Taking my hand in his again Erik opened a panel and led me into his bathroom.**

**I looked around as he lit the gas lamps:**

**The room was made of a black stone that reflected no light. One wall contained a huge bathtub made of the same stone. But the most conspicuous thing about the room was that there were no mirrors. Shivering, I also noticed that the room held no warmth and I suddenly felt as though I were standing on a tomb.**

**Glancing up at him I saw that he was staring at me and I wanted to turn and run.**

**But I knew that I could not.**

**So stepping towards the bathtub I said "I need to wash your back and cleanse your wounds properly" as I turned the water on.**

"**You can not mean too..." He stammered "I will not allow you to bathe me Lesta!" He said with more force as the realization of what I was preparing to do became clear to him.**

"**Erik there is no other way for me to cleanse your back." I said as I knelt on the floor by the tub.**

"**But Lesta it is not right for you too bathe me." He cried.**

"**Why?" I snapped. "Have you not bathed me?"**

"**Yes. But that was different. You are my wife; it is my place to care for you."**

"**And you are my husband. So why can I not do the same for you?"**

**Lowering his head, he turned away from me and whispered "No one has ever… ever bathed me."**

**Turning the water off, I stood and crossed the room to him.**

**Placing my hand on his arm I said "Please Erik allow me to do this for you."**

**His shoulders sank as he stepped away from me and began to remove his pants.**

**Quickly looking away from him I busied myself with getting out towels and a fresh sponge and some mild soap to wash him with.**

**When I turned back around I found him sitting in the tub with his knees drawn up to his chest.**

**He seemed to tremble as I approached him and knelt.**

"**Relax Erik" I whispered softly.**

**Dipping the sponge into the water and then lifting it, I carefully began to cleanse his wounds. But as the water ran down his back I heard him inhale sharply.**

**I quickly pulled away from him and said "I'm sorry, I did not mean hurt you."**

**Turning to look at me he said "No, please continue. You did not hurt me."**

"**Don't lie to me Erik. I know what I saw and heard."**

"**I do not lie Lesta. The pain was caused by my own hand, not yours. It is only that I was unprepared for your touch."**

"**Then what am I to do Erik? I can not bear to see you in anymore pain, but your back needs to be cleansed."**

**I sat back on my heels and thought. Then smiling I stood and went to the cabinet.**

**Finding a container of healing salts I walked back over to the tub.**

**Dipping my hand into the container I scooped out a large handful of salts and sprinkled them into the water.**

**As the salts dissolved I looked at Erik and said "Lay back."**

**Looking at me with shock in his eyes he said "I will not."**

"**You must."**

"**Then leave me!"**

"**I will not Erik."**

"**Why Lesta..? Why are you being so cruel?"**

"**I am not being cruel. I am only trying to care for you." I said as I knelt by the tub. Placing my hands on his collarbones I began to push him.**

**Grabbing my wrists he said "No!"**

"**Why Erik...?" I asked as I looked into his eyes.**

**Looking away from me he said "I beg you please do not force me to reveal my shame."**

"**What shame? I do not understand. Why will you not just lay back and allow the salts to cleanse your wounds?"**

**He squirmed around in the tub and said "Will you at least look away?"**

**Nodding my head I turned around as I listened to him inhale deeply and then sigh.**

**Becoming curious I reasoned a quick glance over my shoulder would do no harm. I just wanted to make sure that he had indeed lain back.**

**But as my eyes traveled over his body I inhaled sharply when I saw his swollen manhood.**

**He immediately started to sit up and cover himself, but I stopped him by placing my hands against his chest.**

"**Stay as you are Erik." I whispered as I ran my hand slowly down over his stomach.**

**I felt his body become rigid under my finger as I heard him say in a choked voice "What are you thinking my Dear?"**

**It was as if I was in a trance.**

**Ignoring him I moved my hand lower on his body.**

**Then growing bolder I brushed the tips of my fingers across the top of his hardness.**

**I heard him inhale sharply.**

**Quickly pulling my hand back I said "I did not mean to cause you more pain."**

**Looking at me he said in a raspy voice "Oh there was no pain."**

**Blushing I said "Oh…I will leave you to finish your bath."**

"**Stay" he said as he caught my wrist.**

"**Join me."**

**Blushing deeper red I said "I…I can not. It would not be proper."**

**Growling he pulled me closer to himself as he said "To hell with proper. You are my wife."**

**Shaking I allowed him to pull me forward.**

**Rising up he brought his lips to mine.**

**Parting my lips I let him plunder my mouth with is tongue as his hand caressed my hair and back.**

**I moaned into his mouth as the heat began to build within me.**

**Finally pulling away from him I said "Erik" in a breathless whisper.**


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56:**

**Tracing his fingers along my jaw and then grazing my lower lip with his thumb he said "You are so beautiful."**

**Then lifting me up, he brought me into the tub with him.**

**Sitting me astride his hips he pulled my lips back to his.**

**Kissing me with gentle passion he began to run his hands down my back to my bottom.**

**Cupping my butt in his hands, he gently kneaded my flesh with his fingers.**

**Pulling my lips from his I looked into his eyes and whispered "Touch me Erik."**

**Needing no more encouragement he grabbed the hem of my now wet nightdress and brought it over my head. **

**Balling the garment in his hands he threw it onto the floor.**

**Reaching up he pushed a strand of my hair back behind my ear as his eyes traveled down over my now naked body.**

**Then he started to run his hands down my body.**

**Stopping at my breasts he cupped them as he flicked his thumbs across my nipples causing them to spring to aching life.**

**Tipping my head back I moaned as the pleasure he was causing raced through my body.**

**Leaning back and placing my hands on his thighs I offered myself to him.**

**I knew what I was doing made no sense. **

**Hadn't I just run from him? And now here I was naked before him longing for him to take me.**

**Maybe I have become insane, needing what I know can and will destroy me, but needing it none the less.**

**My finger dug into his flesh as his hands caressed and played with my body. **

**Then when his hand slid between my legs and he parted me finding the bud of my passion I could not stop myself from crying out.**

**Moving myself against his hand like a wanton slut I whimpered and moaned in my desire for him to make me feel as only he could make me feel. **

"**Please Erik…please…" I cried and begged as the heat built within me.**

**As I leaned back even farther I could feel his manhood pressing against my back.**

**Oh how he knew my body so well. **

**As he touched and teased my womanhood, his other hand massaged my breasts and teased my nipples causing them to ache for him to suckle.**

**Slipping his fingers inside me he intensified his pressure against my bud bringing me to my climax causing my body to become rigid and shaky at the same time.**

**Gasping and leaning forward I laid against his chest as my breathing finally slowed to normal.**

**Feeling his arms wrap around me I finally felt like I was truly home.**

**Then he slid his hands down to my hips and lifted me off of himself and out of the tub.**

**Looking at him confused as he reached past me and grabbed a towel I asked "What of your pleasure Erik?"**

**Standing and wrapping the towel around his waist he stepped from the tub and past me.**

**Grabbing another towel he began to dry himself as he seemed to be trying to ignore my presence in the room.**

**Pushing myself to my feet I stepped towards him as I reached out to touch him.**

**Raising his hand he said "Don't."**

**Stepping back from him I wrapped my arms around myself as I sank back down to the floor. **

**Grabbing the towel I had knelt on I covered my nakedness ashamed of the way I had acted in his arms only moments ago.**

"**Forgive me" I whispered as tears began to run from my eyes.**

**He froze as I said those words. Then coming to kneel before me he lifted my face and said "You did nothing wrong Lesta. And I thank you for allowing me to see you like that at the moment of your glory."**

"**Then why Erik..? Why did you set me from you? Why did you stop me from touching you? Do you no longer wish to join with me?"**

"**Oh Lesta, I ache to join with you. But I will not. I know now that that is not what you wish. I will continue to pleasure you if you allow it, but I will not force you to join with me."**

**Reaching for him I said "Please Erik let me touch you. I need to touch you."**

**Placing my hand against his chest I ran my fingers up to his shoulder and then to him neck.**

**Looking into his eyes I said "Please allow me to kiss you" as I began to draw nearer to him.**

**Then bringing my lips to his I began to try to show him how much I needed him.**

**He remained stiff and immobile in my arms as I kissed and caressed his body.**

**Pulling away from him I asked "Why? Can you not see that this is what I want? That I too wish to join with you."**

**Grasping my shoulders he looked into my eyes and said "That is what I thought yesterday, but I was wrong."**

**My mind reeled as he stood and left the room.**

**Had it been only a day ago? No, not even a full day. And now here I was sitting on the floor of his bathroom aching for him. **

**Standing and wiping the tears from my face I went to find him.**

**He was lying on a pallet of blankets in the corner of his room.**

**He watched me as I timidly walked about looking at the items littering the room.**

**There was an armoire made of dark heavy wood standing against one wall. And a small desk and chair set against another. **

**Approaching the coffin I lightly touched it and then turned and looked at him.**

**Slowly crossing the room to where he lay I whispered "Will you at least allow me to lay with you as you rest?"**

**Sliding over and pulling the covers back he said "Of course, but you will sleep nearest the wall."**

**I knew that he was doing this to test me. And by placing me next to the wall he also insured that if I tried to leave him I would have to climb over him to do so.**

**I also wondered if he had locked the door.**

**As I stepped a crossed him to take my place upon the pallet I felt his fingers brush my bare leg. **

**Sinking down next to him in the softness of the blankets I wondered if I should abandoned the towel that was my only covering. **

**I could see that he had put on a pair of sleep pants and I longed for my nightgown but I knew it was not to be.**

**Seeing my indecision he said "You will be more comfortable without the towel, but it is your choice to make My Dear. But know this, I will not molest you. You will be safe in my arms.**

**Looking around and then back at him I removed the towel and handed it to him.**

**Then lying down next to him I reached for the blankets and covered us with them.**

**Reaching over he extinguished the candle with his fingers.**

**The only light remaining in the room was from the partially open bathroom door, but it was enough for me to see him watching me.**

**I knew he was waiting to see what I was going to do next.**

**Sliding closer to him I rested my head against his naked chest as I wrapped my arm around him.**

**Sighing, he finally gave in and wrapped his arms around me.**

**Looking up at him I whispered "I trust you." Then pressing my lips to his I gave him a quick kiss before settling back against his chest.**

**I felt him tremble as he hugged me. Then I heard him whisper "Too good".**

**I fell asleep in his arms, in his room, safe in the knowledge that I was home with my husband. A man that was completely capable of hurting and killing me.**


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57:**

**I was jolted awake by a loud noise.**

**Sitting up I saw Erik grabbing something from his desk as he ran from the room.**

**Wrapping a blanket around myself I followed him.**

**As I crept down the steps I saw a strange man stand in the main room.**

**Covering my mouth to stifle a scream I watched in horror as the man turned and looked at me.**

"**Well, well what do we have here?" the man said in an evil tone as he started towards me.**

"**Looks like a delicious little morsel to me." Another man said as he stepped forward.**

**Where was Erik? Who are these men? I thought as I tried to back up the steps.**

**But as I turned to make my escape the first man grabbed my ankle causing me to fall hard against the steps.**

**As I struggled to free myself I heard a gasping sound and glanced over my shoulder in time to see the second man fall to the ground.**

**The man that had had a hold of my ankle saw his friend collapse and began to run for the exit, but before he got very far I saw Erik step out of the shadows and wrap something around the man's neck. Then a moment later the man fell dead at Erik's feet.**

**Turning over and sitting up, I looked at Erik.**

**I whispered "Are they…are they dead?" Then I began to shake violently.**

**Approaching me cautiously Erik lifted me in his arms and carried me up the steps to my room.**

**Placing me on the bed he sat beside me and said "I never wanted you to ever have to witness something like that."**

"**Who…who were they? Did you know them? Oh my god…You…you killed those men. You killed them…" **

**Curling myself into a ball I cried.**

**I felt Erik's hand caress my back and I pulled away from him.**

**Covering me with a blanket Erik said "I will check on you later. And we will talk then."**

**I felt him leave the bed and then I heard the door close.**

**I cried for what seemed like a long time and then exhausted I fell asleep.**

**Jerking awake I screamed as the image of that man falling dead at Erik's feet filled my mind.**

**Sitting up I waited for Erik to come to me, but he didn't.**

**I had always known that Erik was capable of killing. Hell he had told me himself in Nadir's presence that he had killed many men. But I think a part of me had not truly believed it until this day. Images of those men's deaths flooded my mind and I buried my face in my hands as I trembled and cried.**

**A knock at my door snapped me from the horrible images filling my mind.**

**Lifting my head I said "Come in."**

**Expecting to see Erik enter, I was shocked to see Nadir standing there.**

"**Are you alright Madam? Erik came and told me what has happened and said that you might need me."**

**Staring at him I said "He told you…He killed those men Nadir. He killed them as I watched." Covering my face with my hands I cried. Then moments later I lifted my head and balling my fists in my hair as I cried out "What am I to do now!!? How can I ever look at him again and not see that man laying dead at his feet? But the worst was the look I saw in his eyes. It was almost as if killing those men brought him joy and pleasure."**

"**I'm sure you were mistaken Madam. Yes Erik has killed. But I truly doubt he took any pleasure from those men's deaths."**

"**Where is he? Where is Erik? I want to see him. I want him to tell me that he did not enjoy killing those men."**

**As I spoke those words I began to slide from the bed. **

**Nadir cleared his throat and turned his back causing me to remember that I was not wearing anything.**

**Wrapping myself in a blanket I went to my closet and took out a dress. **

**Excusing myself I entered the bathroom and closed the door.**

**After washing up and getting dressed I went back into the bedroom.**

**Nadir had seated himself on the sofa, but as I entered the room he stood and said "I hope you are feeling refreshed."**

**Looking at him I nodded and seated myself in the chair. **

**Covering my face with my hands I said "Who am I lying to. Help me Nadir. Help me awaken from this nightmare."**

**Kneeling, Nadir pulled my hands away from my face. Looking into my eyes he said "I will help you in anyway I can Madam. All you ever need to do is call upon me."**

**Just then the door opened and Erik walked in.**

**Looking up at him frightened, I pulled my hands from Nadir's and said "It is not as it looks. He was only trying to comfort me."**

"**I know. That is why I sent him to you." Erik said in a somewhat sad voice. Then continuing he said "And if you wish to leave here with him I will understand. But I beg you please allow me to speak to you and answer your questions before you make your decision."**

**Looking at Nadir I silently pleaded with him to help me.**

**Bringing his hand up and stroking my hair Nadir whispered "Hear what he has to say child. I know you find him frightening at this moment, but listen to him and allow your heart to guide you." Then standing he bowed and said "I will give you your privacy,"**

**As he turned to leave I cried out "Please stay."**

"**I can not Madam. What needs to be said is for you alone, but do not fear I will be waiting downstairs. Just do as I asked you, and all will be as I should be."**

**Turning he walked across the room towards the door.**

**Stopping beside Erik, Nadir placed his had on Erik's shoulder. **

**Leaning he whispered something in Erik's ear.**

**Nodding Erik said "I will try."**

**Then looking back at me Nadir bowed and then exited the room.**

**Sitting there frozen and feeling completely lost I stared at the door.**

**Then out of the corner of my eye I saw Erik begin to step towards me.**

"**Don't…" I cried "Don't come near me. Please…"**

**Stopping Erik looked at me and said "I am sorry my dear Lesta. What happened earlier should never have been witnessed by you. But I could not allow those men to ransack our home. And then when I saw that man put his filthy hands on you I knew there was no other choice."**

"**So you're saying that those men died because of me." I said as I covered my face and began to cry again.**

"**No…" Erik said gently as he began to take me in his arms.**

"**Don't…" I screeched as I pushed him away from me and bolted from the chair and began to back away from him.**

"**Please Erik…I…I…Please don't." I begged as I slide down the wall and brought my knees up to my chest. Wrapping my arms around them I looked at Erik and where he still knelt on the floor by the chair. He looked like an animal preparing to pouch and I shuddered knowing that I was his prey.**

"**I can't do this Erik. I thought I could, but I can't. I can't even look at you without seeing that man." **

**I had taken my eyes from him as I spoke and when I looked back at him he had moved closer to me.**

**Balling myself up tighter I waited for him make his move. **

**I knew that there was no escaping him. Even with Nadir only a matter of steps away, I knew I was trapped.**

**But instead of grabbing me or even trying to touch me at all Erik moved to sit beside me with his back resting against the wall.**

**I honestly tried to remain where I was, but with him being so close I could not.**

**But as I tried to stand to move away from him he grabbed my hand and pulled me back down.**

"**No Lesta, you will remain as you are and hear me. I have moved so you need not look at me as I speak. But I demand that you hear me." He said in a rough and ragged voice.**

**Turning so my back was to him I said in a soft voice "I will listen."**

"**As I have said I did not wish for you to witness what I did" he began. "But I could not let them harm you. And they would have harmed you. Oh Lesta, you are my life and I will do what I must to protect you." **

**I felt his hand caress my hair as he spoke, and I steeled myself to remain as I was even though every fiber in my being wanted to flee him.**

"**I know Erik. You have told me in the past that you would kill to keep me. I just never imagined that you would. But answer me this. Did you mean what you said when you said that you would not stop me if I wished to leave here with Nadir?"**

**After brief silence he finally spoke "I pray that you will choose to remain, but if you decide to leave me, I will not stand in your way."**

**Turning to look at him I saw that he had his head bowed as though he was bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders.**

"**I need to know something Erik. And I need for you to answer me honestly."**

"**I will never lie to you Lesta."**

"**Did you take pleasure in killing those men? And remember Erik I was watching."**

**He looked away from me.**

"**So you did." I laughed bitterly and he looked at me. "Nadir was wrong. He said that I was mistaken, but I was not. You did enjoy killing them."**

"**Please Lesta…"**

"**Shut up Erik! I will hear no more."**

**Standing I walked away from him. **

**Reaching the door I turned and looked at where he still sat on the floor and said "I have made my decision."**


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58:**

**Pulling the door almost closed behind me I stood there and listened to Erik's heart wrenching sobs.**

**Bowing my head I said a silent prayer for strength and took a deep breath as I pulled the door the rest of the way closed.**

**Descending the steps I looked at Nadir as he stood from the chair and started towards me. **

**Motioning him back I walked around the room gathering my thoughts as he watched me intently.**

**Stopping, I turned and looked at him as I placed my hands on the back of the couch.**

"**You may leave." **

**Staring at me with an almost shocked expression he said "So you have decided to stay."**

"**Yes. I can not leave him. I know that now. I does not matter that my heart is telling me too leave. Too run as far from this hell as I can get. But I know that if I did that I would be condemning all of Paris to his madness. You see, I was right when I told you that Erik had taken pleasure in killing those men. And I know that if I left here with you that he will paint the streets of this city in blood."**

"**You are a noble woman Madam Lesta with an inner strength that is rare. I only hope that you are making the correct choice this day, for I doubt that he will offer it again."**

"**I know that Monsieur, but this is the only choice I can make."**

**Looking up at the bedroom door Nadir seemed confused and asked "Then why is he not with you?"**

**Smiling a half hearted smile I said "I have not told him. As far as he knows I am leaving."**

"**I do not understand. Why have you not told him? You know that each moment that passes will be an eternity for him. Or have I been mistaken about you Madam? Have you become heartless and cruel from your time spent here?"**

"**No Monsieur I have not become heartless or cruel. It is only that I need this time too become reconciled with my decision." **

"**I see. But are you sure that you wish for me to leave? I can remain and be with you when you tell Erik."**

"**No Monsieur. This is something I need to do alone. But thank you for your kindness. Oh and another thing. If I may ask it of you; would you please keep Laddie with you for a while longer? I believe that Erik and I need some time alone."**

"**As you wish Madam, but may I ask why?"**

**Looking at him sadly I said "Even though I have decided to remain. I have my doubts that things are going to be pleasant."**

**Glancing up at the door I said "I think you should go now."**

**Stepping around the couch I gave him a quick hug and whispered "Thank you once again for all your kindnesses and I hope to see you soon."**

**Retrieving his cloak and tipping his hat he bowed and took his leave.**

**I began to pace around the room nervously.**

**Had I made to right choice?**

**Or have done nothing more than condemn myself to a waking nightmare.**

**Walking over to the organ I sat on the bench and stared at the door.**

**I knew what I needed to do.**

**But I did not have the strength or the will to climb those steps to my doom.**

**Sitting there for what seemed like hours I waited for Erik to appear.**

**Then as I stood my skirt caught on something and I began to fall. Reaching out, my hand hit the organ keys and created a loud and horrid sound. **

**As the sound reverberated around me I looked up as Erik stepped through the door.**

**Looking down at me he said "Lesta" then looking around he asked "Where..? Where is Nadir?"**

"**I sent him away."**

"**But why..? I thought… You said…" Erik said as he started down the stairs.**

**I had not even realized I had moved. But the next thing I knew I was standing at the foot of the stairs looking up at him.**

"**I said I had made my decision Erik. I did not say I was leaving."**

**He began to shake as he stood there staring down at me. "Lesta, Oh Lesta I thought…" Sitting down hard on the steps he buried his face in his hands and cried.**

**My heart shattered as I watched him. **

**Stepping forward I touched his shoulder and whispered "What's wrong Erik? You're frightening me. Did I do wrong by staying?"**

**Raising his head he looked at me "No Lesta. You did nothing wrong. And I do not mean to frighten you. It is only that I thought that you had left me. That you had left here with Nadir." Reaching out he pulled me to his chest. Stroking my hair he asked "Why Lesta? What made you stay?"**

**Pulling away from him I stroked the side of his head before I turned and walked away from him. **

**Standing with my back to him I looked down at my left hand and his ring. **

**I had told him only last night that I trusted and cared for him. And I had meant it.**

**I knew he was waiting for me to speak.**

**Then finding my voice I said "Can you not just be happy that I am here? Must there always be a reason?"**

**Feeling his arms wrap around me I leaned against him.**

**Bringing his lips to my ear he whispered "You have made me happier than you will ever know."**

**Closing my eyes I savored being in his arms, but I knew that what I was going say next would hurt him. But I also knew that if I did not say it I would never be able to step beyond this nightmare.**

"**I know you took pleasure in killing those men." **

**His arms tighten around me and time seemed to freeze.**

**Wetting my lips and taking a breath I continued "Why Erik? What was it? Was it the power in knowing that you controlled there fates? I saw the look in your eyes Erik."**

**Covering his hands with mine I said "How many lives have these hands taken? Will mine be one? Will Laddie's?"**

**Shoving me away from himself he roared "Enough!!! Why are you saying these things to me? Why did you stay if you think me such a monster?"**

**Pushing myself up from where I had fallen and turning to face him I said "Is it not true? Did you yourself not tell me that you had killed before and even gloried in it?"**

**Shaking and clinching his fists at his sides he stepped towards me. **

**I could see the rage and the pain in his eyes, but I did not flinch from him. **

**I had run and coward from him enough. And now was the time for me to stand. I needed to show him the woman I could be.**

"**You go to far Lesta!" He shouted in my face. Then bringing his hand up, he wrapped his fingers around my throat. **

**Lifting my head I looked into his eyes and said "I stayed because you need me. Or at least I hope you need me Erik."**


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 59:**

**Trembling he pulled his hand from me and collapsed at my feet.**

**Looking up at me he said "I do need you Lesta. I need you more than the air I breathe. You are my life, my world and I can not live without you."**

**Wrapping my arms around him I caressed his hair and said "Promise me Erik. Promise me that I never need fear you again. And if you can not promise me that, I want you to kill me now. Make it quick and painless. Because I can not stand this any longer, I need it to end."**

**Stepping back from him I knelt and lowered my head.**

**The choice was his to make.**

**Pulling me to him and wrapping me in his arms he said "I will do everything in my power to alleviate your fears. But if I fail please know that I could never kill you. You are my life and I would rather die myself. Oh Lesta please say that you do not fear me as you once did."**

**Tipping my head back and looking at him I said "I do not fear you as I once did. I know now that you could have killed me anytime you had wished, but you did not.**

**But I still fear that you will hurt me again."**

**Pulling away from me he stood and stepped away from me.**

**Stopping with his back to me he said "Am I such a monster that no matter what I do you will always fear me? Have I not tried to show you that I can be kind and gentle?" Then turning and looking down at me he said "Will you always see me as a beast?"**

**Standing I looked at him and said "You are not a beast or a monster. You are my husband and … And with your help and kindness I hope that someday I can be the wife that you deserve."**

**Staring at me he said "You are everything that I desire Lesta."**

"**So you desire a wife that fears you and cowers from your touch." I said as I looked at the floor.**

"**No Lesta, I desire you: Your beauty; your kindness; your fire when you allow it to burn. You make me feel like a real man."**

"**You are a real man Erik." I said as I stepped to him and took his hand in mine. Looking at it I said "So strong and yet so gentle." Looking up into his eyes I asked "Tell me Erik, how is that even after witnessing you kill those men I still desire your touch."**

**I could see the shame and guilt in his eyes, but I could also see the pride my words brought him.**

**Bringing his hand to my lips and kissed it.**

**As we stood there silently staring at one another my stomach growled loudly and I blushed and turned my head embarrassed.**

**Chuckling Erik said "Why did you not say you were hungry?" Then looking around he asked "Where is Laddie? I thought he would have returned by now."**

"**I hope it does not upset you, but I asked Nadir to watch after him for a while."**

**Wrapping his arms around me Erik said "So you wished to be alone with me?"**

"**I…I did not know what was going to happen and I thought it best if Laddie was not here."**

"**Oh my dear Lesta" Erik laughed as he swept me off my feet and carried me over to the couch.**

**Sitting me down he said "I will find you something to eat."**

**But as he turned to leave, I called out "Erik…"**

**Returning to me he knelt and took my hands in his. **

**Looking into my eyes he said "I am here Lesta. I will be your eternal slave. Just allow me to serve you."**

**Pulling my hand from his and placing it on the side of his face I whispered through my tears "You are too good to me and I do not deserve it. I have been so cruel to you Erik and here you knell at my feet. I should be the one to beg your forgiveness."**

"**No Lesta. Do not say such things. Your words hurt my ears. You have been nothing but kind to me. You have shown me what it is like to be a man and a husband. Even now you bare my touch."**

**I felt as though a veil had been lifted from my eyes and I was finally seeing myself and Erik for the first time. **

**Leaning forward I pressed my lips to his and kissed him.**

**Hearing him moan, I parted my lips and thrust my tongue into his mouth tasting him.**

**As I kissed him I could feel the heat begin to build within me and knew that I needed him more than ever.**

**Slipping from the couch I knelt before him and began to unbutton his shirt.**

**Grabbing my wrists, Erik looked at me and said "What are you doing Lesta?"**

**Pressing my body against his, I said "Make love to me Erik."**

**Looking around he said "I thought…"**

"**Stop thinking Erik. I need you. I need to feel you touching me. I need to touch you."**

**He began to stand. **

"**No Erik. I need you here." I said as I pulled him back down.**

"**But Lesta…"**

"**Are worried that this is not proper Erik? I thought you were the one that did not care what is or is not proper."**

**Looking at me he said "Do not tease me so Lesta. I know that you could not possibly want me like this."**

**Reaching up I began to undo the bodice of my dress.**

**Pulling it open I slid my arms from the sleeves as I began to stand.**

**Allowing it to fall to the floor I began to remove my undergarments.**

**Looking up at me trembling Erik said "I…You…We mustn't… Not here…"**

"**Why Erik..? We are alone. And I want you…No… I need you to make love too me, here in this place. I need you to make me forget what happened here."**

**Knelling before him in nothing more than my thin chemise I returned to unbuttoning his shirt.**

**He did not stop me this time.**

**Tugging it from the waistband of his trousers I run my hands across his bare chest.**

**Leaning forward I began to trail kisses down his neck and along his collarbone.**

**Hearing him gasp I leaned back and looked into his eyes.**

**He was crying.**

**Taking his face in my hands I asked "What is it? Why are you crying? Is this not something you want?"**

**Taking my hands in his he looked down and said "Oh Lesta, this is more than I have ever dared to dream."**

**Then looking into my eyes he said "But I can not ask this of you. I know you are only doing this to try and please me."**

"**You're wrong Erik. I am doing this because it is what I want. I know I have treated you badly in the past…"**

"**No Lesta, you have…"**

"**Hush Erik" I said as I covered his mouth with my fingers.**

"**I want to be your wife Erik. I want to make love to you. I want us to stop this madness and learn to be as a man and wife should be."**

"**Do…do you truly mean what you say?" He said in a choked whisper as he stared at me.**

**Then grabbing my shoulder he said "If …if this is a game you are play…"**

"**This is no game Erik. I mean what I said. I do need you."**

**Crushing me against his chest he sobbed and moaned as if I had mortally wounded him.**

"**Why do you cry so Erik?" I said as I became frightened that I had somehow injured him with my words.**

**Pulling from me he and standing he turned his back and said "You have made me happier than I have ever dreamed of being and I feel as if my heart is going to explode."**

**Then he turned and fled up the steps and into his room. **

**Knelling there confused and wondering what I had said or done to cause him to run from . I felt like crying. But I knew that more tears were not the answer.**

**Standing I grabbed the blanket from the couch and wrapped it around myself.**

**Climbing the stairs and going to his door I knocked and called out his name.**

**When he did not answer I became worried and casting caution to the wind I opened the door.**

**I could hear him whimpering and as I looked around the room I found him sitting on his pallet with his knees drawn up to his chest and his face buried in his hands.**

**He looked like an over grown child that had been beaten and sent to his room as a punishment.**

**As I slowing approached him I saw his mask laying on the floor.**

**Knelling beside him I reached out and touched the back of his head trying to offer him comfort.**

**Recoiling from me he wailed "Please… You mustn't see me like this. Please just go away. I…I…I am horrid and you mustn't see me."**

"**No. I'm not leaving you here like this Erik. I'm your wife. Please allow me to help you."**

"**But my face Lesta..! I had to remove my mask and I am a mess."**

**Lifting his mask in my hands I looked at it.**

**I knew I should offer it to him but I didn't. **

**Standing I went into his bathroom and got a cloth and wet it.**

**Gathering a dry towel also I went back and sat down beside him.**

**Touching his arm I said "Look at me Erik."**

"**No…"**

"**Please let me do this for you. Please Erik I need to do this for you. I know I have wronged you and treated you badly by not being the wife you deserve."**

"**You mustn't say such things Lesta! You have given me more than I have ever dreamed of." He cried as his body shook with the force of his emotions.**

**Sliding nearer to him, I wrapped my arms around him and held him as he cried.**

**Hearing him so broken tore me apart and I began to cry also.**

**Turning and taking me in his arms he held me as we both tried to calm ourselves.**

**Finally pulling away from him I looked up into his face.**

**Attempting to control myself from shaking I reached out and picked up the wet cloth.**

**Raising it to his face I wiped his tears and snot away. **

**Staring at me in shock he tried to speak but seemed to be having trouble finding his voice. **

**Laying the rag aside I moved so my face was in front of his and began to kiss him.**

**Placing my hands on his cheeks I held his face.**

**But as he tried to pull away I slid my hands behind his head and held him not wanting him to turn from me again.**

**Then moving my lips from his, I kissed his cheek and his forehead.**

**Hearing his gasp I began to cover his horrid face in kisses.**

**Then leaning back from him I looked into his eyes.**

**Seeing him looking at me with such fear and such longing, made me want him even more.**

**Whispering his name I caressed the side of his face before bringing my lips back to his.**

**Pulling away from me he said "Are you trying to drive me mad? No one has ever touched or kissed my horrid face before. And now you…You mustn't Lesta. You mustn't touch me like this. It is too much."**

**Starring into his eyes I said "Please Erik, let me be the wife you deserve. The wife I should have been before. Let me show you the woman I can be."**


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter 60:**

"**Lesta, Oh Lesta you are more than I could have ever hoped for. You have bore my touch and allowed me to lay with you. You have made me feel like a man. And now you look upon my horrid face. Nay you touched my horrid face and kissed it."**

**Pulling me to his chest he held me and stroked my back and hair.**

**Snuggling closer to him I slid my hands under his shirt and began caressing his skin.**

**Then turning my head I ran my lips over his bare chest.**

**Finding his nipple I began to suckle it.**

**Erik began to moan and I could feel his manhood beginning to press against me.**

**Sliding my hands down his body I undid his pants and slipped my hand inside them.**

**Caressing his velvety hardness I said "I need you Erik. I need you inside of me. I need to join with you."**

**Taking my shoulders in his trembling hands he leaned me away from him and said "I need you also Lesta."**

**Pulling the blanket from me he laid me back against the pallet and began to caress me through the thin material of my chemise. **

**Lifting my arms I helped him to remove the garment.**

**Bringing his lips to mine he kissed me before starting to work his way down my body.**

**Feeling his bare face against my flesh sent shivers through my body and he stopped and said "I will put my mask back on if you wish."**

"**No Erik" I cried as I buried my fingers in his hair and pressed his face to my breasts.**

**Shaking he continued to caress and kiss my body.**

**Running his hand up my leg he began to tease my womanhood causing me to cry out as he brought me to life.**

**But as he positioned himself over me and between my legs he said "I must know Lesta. Is this what you truly want?"**

**Wrapping my legs around him I cried "Yes Erik…Please…I will beg if I must."**

**Pressing himself forward he entered me and I cried out his name over and over again as he joined our bodies and made us one person.**

**Panting and crying I clung to him as I came.**

**Then spilling his seed within me he rose up and looked down at me.**

**Seeing my tears he quickly rolled off of me and gathered me in his arms asking "Have I injured you? I should not have…"**

**Reaching up I covered his lips with my fingers and said "No Erik, you did not hurt me."**

"**Then why?" he said as he wiped my tears away.**

**Smiling at him I said "Because you've made me feel so happy and complete."**

**Placing my hand on his cheek I whispered "I just hope I can make you feel the same."**

"**You do Lesta. You make me feel that and more…so much more. But I fear I will do something to upset you again and you will withdrawal from me as you always do."**

**Looking away from him in shame I said "I don't want to be like that anymore Erik." Then looking back at him I said "I mean it Erik. I want to be what I should have been along time ago."**

**Caressing my hair from my face he leaned forward and kissed me.**

**Pulling away he said "You are perfect and I will accept whatever you're willing to grant me."**

**More tears stung my eyes and I wanted to tell him I would give him everything, but I couldn't form the words through all the emotions I was feeling.**

"**You need to eat now." he said as he gently moved me from his lap and reached for his pants and mask. **

**He turned and looked at me and smiled as he left the room.**

**Wrapping a blanket around myself I stood and walked around his room.**

**Going over to his desk I saw a packet of documents. I knew I shouldn't but I could not resist reading them. Opening the seal I was shocked by what I saw.**

**Turning and seeing him standing in the doorway I threw the papers at him and asked "Why?"**


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter 61:**

**Trembling I fell to my knees and buried my face in my hands as I repeated "Why?" **

"**It's not as it seems Lesta." He said as he sat the tray of food aside and started towards me.**

**Scrambling forwards on my hands and knees I snatched up one of the papers and said "If it is not as it seems, then explain this!" **

**Taking his robe from a hook on the wall he knelt beside me and tried to wrap it around me.**

**Shoving it away I didn't care that I was naked. I felt like my soul had been ripped from me. **

**I had willingly followed him back here to this cave he called home. I had witnessed him kill two men and I had remained when offered my freedom. I had even told him I wanted to be his wife. And now I found this. **

**Wrapping my arms around myself I looked at him and pled with him to tell me the truth.**

**Pulling my naked body to his bare chest he wrapped me in his arms and stroked my hair.**

**Speaking softly he said "I never meant for you to see these documents."**

**Looking up at him I said "But that is a divorce paper Erik." Pushing away from him I picked up the other papers and said "And this is a confession. Why Erik? Why would you write this?"**

"**I did it for you." **

"**For me..?" I said as I stood up and ran my fingers through my hair. Looking down at myself and my nakedness I sobbed. Then looking at him I said "So you don't want me anymore. You knew before I come in here. Why Erik? Why did you let me tell you those things? Were you laughing at me as I bore myself to you? Is this what you really want?" I said as I held the divorce paper out to him.**

"**No!" he cried as he came to me and tried to wrap his robe around me again.**

**Shoving him and the robe away I stepped back and yelled "Then why Erik! Why is this here?" **

**I began to laugh hysterically and said "You tormented and twisted and teased me into submitting to you, and now that I have. I find that you don't even want me. Was I just a game; A diversion to take your mind off of losing your precious Angel? Damn you Erik! Damn you to Hell!"**

**Wiping at my face and trying to control my raged breathing I glared at him and crushed the papers in my hands.**

"**Please Lesta… please listen to me! I have never wanted anything or anyone more than I want you." **

"**That funny Erik, these papers say you're a lair."**

"**Those documents mean nothing!!!" He roared and tore them from my grasp.**

"**I wrote this confession and had Nadir bring me this document after our child died. I could see what I had done to you then and I wanted to free you. I even offered it to you, but you…you said that you needed me. Me… A monster was needed and I knew then that I could never let you go. Oh Lesta, can you ever forgive me? I know I should have burned these long ago." He said as looked down at the papers. "But I kept them to remind me that you could have left me but didn't." **

"**Burn them now Erik." I whispered as I stepped towards him. "Burn them and know that I am yours."**

**Looking at me he said "Mine..?"**

"**Yours…"**

**Taking them from him I walked to the small fireplace and held them over the flames. Watching them ignite I smiled and looked at him before dropping them onto the grate. **

**After watching the fire devour the pages I turned to Erik and said "I'm hungry. What did you bring me to eat?"**

**Staring at me he seemed confused. Then shaking himself he said "Sit and I will show you."**

**Going back over to his pallet on the floor I knelt and waited for him to join me.**

**Sitting the tray in front of me he picked up a blanket and wrapped it around me as he said "You must be chilled. Let me cover you so you do not become ill." **

**His tone was so kind and gentle and I leaned into his arms as he wrapped me in the blanket.**

**Lifting the lid from the tray I saw that he had brought me cheese, sliced fruit and bread. **

**Smiling I lifted a piece of fruit to my lips and took a bite, then turning I lifted the other half to his lips. **

**Looking at me wearily he opened his mouth and accepted my offering. Continuing like this we ate our meal together in silence. **

**Once finished I pushed the tray away and crawled onto his lap and rested my head against his chest. **

**Whispering I said "Thank you Erik."**

**Then shifting my weight and spreading my legs I straddled his lap and began to kiss his chest working my way up to his lips.**

**Running my tongue over his lips I gained entrance into his mouth. Running my tongue over and around his I tasted him and wanted more.**

**Moaning he put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me from him.**

**Looking into my eyes as I looked up at him he said "Lesta no…"**

**Rising up on my knees I allowed the blanket to fall from me.**

**Then running my hands down over my body I said "Touch me Erik."**

**Moving my hand lower I spread my womanhood and began to play with my bud as he watched.**

**Hearing him gasp and groan spurred me on and I began to move my hips in time with my fingers.**

**Bringing myself over the edge I looked at him and moaned "Take me Erik."**

**Grabbing my shoulders he brought his lips to mine as he said "Yes Lesta, yes."**

**Running my hands down over his stomach I felt him quiver as he moaned into my mouth.**

**Then moving my hands lower I began to undo his pants. Slipping my hand inside, I caressed his manhood and said "Let me see you."**

**Standing he grasped the waistband of his pants and began to slide them and his underwear down his legs.**

**Watching his powerful manhood spring forth I could not help but reach out and touch it. **

**Wrapping my fingers around it I gently squeezed him as I ran my palm up and down his hardness.**

**Feeling him swell even more in my hand I rose up and tasted him. **

**Running my tongue over him I wrapped my lips around him as he cried out and buried his fingers in my hair.**

**Trembling he said "No Lesta…you mustn't. Oh…please…I can not." as I continued to suckle him.**

**Shoving me away he fell to his hands and knees panting. I could see he was trying to gain control of himself as he looked up at me saying "You must never do that again Lesta."**

**Wrapping my arms around myself and looking down I whispered "Forgive me. I only meant to give you pleasure. I'm so sorry. I did not mean to…"**

**Reaching out he silenced me by pulling me into his arms and saying "Hush Lesta. Hush my beauty; there is no need to apologize."**

"**But I upset you with what I did so I must have done something wrong."**

"**You did nothing wrong. It is that I was not excepting you to… It is more that I fear that I would injure you."**

**Looking up at him confused I asked "Why? Why do you fear injuring me?"**

**Shaking his head and sighing he said "I found what you did very pleasurable. But as I said I was not excepting you to do such a thing and if was to have lost control I could have injured your throat in my passion."**

"**But if you found what I did pleasurable…" Covering my face to try and hide my tears of shame. "I don't understand Erik. I only wish to make you happy and now I have ruined everything."**

**Caressing my hair he said "You have ruined nothing. Oh my beauty you do make me happy."**

**Tipping my head up I looked at him and said "Do you still want me Erik?"**

"**Yes Lesta. Oh god yes. You are my one desire and I want you more than you will ever know." He said with such emotion it made my heart skip.**

**Turning and pressing myself against him I said "Show me Erik. Show me how much you want me." Then raising my hands up to his face I began to lift his mask.**

**Bringing his hands up to cover mine he said "No. Please Lesta do not do this."**

**Lowering my hands, I slid back from him. Turning my back to him as I buried my face in my hands and cried.**

**I was so confused and hurt. **

**He had said he wanted me, but then he said no.**

**I had tried to please him and he had pushed me away.**

**Was this his way of punishing me for the way I had treated him? **

**I knew I deserved to be punished, but this hurt so bad. To be denied his affection was more than I could bear and I wanted to curl up and fade away.**

**Touching my back he said "Turn around Lesta."**

**Balling myself up tighter I shook my head no as I continued to cry.**

**I felt him move closer to me. **

**Then wrapping me in his arms he said "Please don't cry. Tell me what I have done to cause you such pain."**

"**You don't want me. You said did. But you don't." I said as I tried to fight the pain.**

"**But I do want you Lesta!"**

**Shaking my head I said "No you don't; If you did you would not have pushed me away or told me no. Please Erik, end this pain. I can't stand this pain. I need you so badly. I'll do anything you want me to do. I'll obey your every command. I'll sing for you. I'll be Christine for you. I'll be your willing slave. Just please tell me that you want me, make me believe that you want me."**

**I was becoming desperate and I would have said or done anything at that moment to know that I was his and that he was not going to turn me away. **

**Turning me and lifting my chin he looked into my eyes and said "I want you Lesta. You are mine and I will never let you go."**

**Reaching up I touched his mask and said "Please Erik. Please let me see your face, let me feel your face upon my skin. I need to know that there is no barrier between us. I need to know that you truly want me."**

"**Please Lesta, Please do not ask this of me. I know that my horrid flesh is unpleasing and that you only ask this thinking to make me happy."**

**Turning my face from his I whispered "You do not want me."**

"**I do want you." He cried.**

"**Then show me Erik. Show me that you want me." I said as I looked back at him.**

**Closing his eyes and reaching up with shaking hands he lifted his mask from his face. **

**Taking it from him I laid it aside and brought my hands to his face touching and caressing his horrid flesh.**

**Smiling I said "Open your eyes Erik. Look at me and tell me that you want me."**

**Lifting me in his arms he turned and laid me upon his pallet bed.**

**Kissing my lips he said "I want you".**

**Kissing my neck he said "I want you".**

**Kissing my breasts he said "I want you".**

**With every kiss and with every touch he repeated that he wanted me.**

**Twisting and moaning with desire from his sweet torment I begged him to take me and make me his.**

**Moving over top of me he brought his throbbing manhood to my entrance and as he thrust into me he cried out "I want you."**

**Wrapping my arms and legs around him I felt complete as he made love to me.**


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 62:**

**Waking naked in his arms I snuggles closer to him and smiled.**

**Brushing my hair aside he lifted my face to his and kissed me and said "Good Morning."**

**Smiling at him I said "Good Morning Erik" as I reached up and ran my fingers over his bare face.**

**Turning his head he said "You don't have to do that."**

**Pushing myself up I said "Why Erik?"**

**Sitting up and reaching for his mask he said "I know that you only did what you did last night as a kindness to try and make me happy. And I do appreciate and thank you for it. But it is morning now and I know that a beauty like you would not wish to look at a hideous thing like my face."**

**Standing I wrapped a blanket around myself and walked over to the fireplace.**

**Staring at the flames I said "Then I guess I am to believe that the only reason you said and did what you did last night was to appease me."**

**Turning and looking at him I continued "I know why I'm here Erik and I won't try and leave you again. I will accept what you give me even though I know it is meant for another."**

"**There is no other!" He roared as he came to me "You are the one that I want! The only one that I want Lesta!" he said as he grasped my shoulders and shook me.**

**Reaching up, and touching his mask, I said in a sad voice "Then why do you hide yourself from me Erik?"**

**Growling low in his throat he said "I hide my hideous face because I know how horrid it is and I don't wish to make you sick from the look of it."**

**Looking away from him as tears stung my eyes I whispered "You do not sicken me Erik."**

**Taking a deep breath I said "I guess I should go to my room now and dress. As you said it is morning.**

**Walking from his room I tried not to cry as my heart broke.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Looking at myself in the mirror I smoothed my hair down and hoped that Erik would find me pleasing.**

**I had sworn to myself as I had bathed and dressed to do everything I could to make Erik want me and only me.**

**Shaking myself I turned and walked to the door.**

**Descending the steps I looked for Erik.**

**Frowning I wondered where he could be. **

"**Erik?" I called out.**

**Walking farther into the room I began to become worried that he had left without telling me. But then again he had always come and went without word before. So why would now be any different.**

**Sitting on the sofa I drew my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them.**

**Listening to the sounds of my home, I could hear water dripping and the occasional squeak of a rat. And if I listened hard enough, I could almost imagine I could hear the opera house above. **

**Hearing the panel slide open I lifted my head and smiled as I watched Erik step through. **

**Removing his cape he held a sack in his hand.**

**I had learned early on that he and Laddie were quite fond of helping themselves to fresh baked items from the opera house.**

**Standing I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around him and pressed my body to his whispering "I was frightened that you had left me."**

**I knew he was still not used to being touched. So I understood why he stiffened at my actions.**

**Placing his hands on my shoulders he stepped back from me and looked down at me saying "I will never leave you."**

**Smiling up at him I said "I guess I'm just being silly then."**

**Taking my hand, he led me to the dining room and seated me at the table. **

**Then disappearing through the door to the kitchen only to reappear a few minutes later carrying a tray with assorted pastries and a kettle of tea on it, he bowed as he sat it before me. **

**Stepping to the sideboard he took out two plates and two tea cups with saucers.**

**Placing them on the table he took his seat and served me giving me my favorites.**

**After eating I sat there as he cleaned up. It was hard for me to stop watching him. His movements were graceful. His hands were large and I could hardly wait for him to touch me again.**

**I think he noticed how my eyes followed him and he asked if I was feeling well. **

**I nodded my head.**

**The rest of the day we sat together reading or playing chess. At one point I even asked Erik if he wanted me to sing for him.**

**Looking into my eyes he said "No."**

**Startled I asked him "Why."**

"**Remember Lesta you told me yourself that you would never sing for me and I will not ask you to now."**

"**But Erik you said that it would make you happy. I only wish to make you happy." I said as I stood and walked across the room. I did not want him to see the hurt I was beginning to feel.**

**Following me he wrapped his arms around me and said "I will not ask you to do anything that I know that you do not want to do. I would never want to trade your happiness for my own."**

**Leaning against him I said "Then tell me what I can do to make you happy."**

**Turning me around he said "Your being here makes me happy. Oh Lesta do you not see that you are the light in my darkness. You have brought me so much joy and that is all I need."**

**Reaching out I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head against his chest. I needed to find away to erase the pain I had cause him. **

**The memory of his bloody back haunted me. He had beaten himself because of me and I had to make things right.**

**Pulling away from him I started for the kitchen and said "If you won't let me sing for you at least you can allow me to cook for you."**

**Following me and catching my arm he said "I did not know you could cook."**

**Looking at him I said "You've never let me." Then reaching up I caressed the side of his head and said "I won't poison you if that's what you're worried about."**

**Leaning his head against my hand he smiled and whispered "Do I have your promise?"**

**Returning his smile and laughing I turned and lifted my skirt as I ran to the kitchen calling out over my shoulder "I guess you'll just have to trust me."**

**Rummaging through the cupboards and looking in the icebox I found what I needed and started to chop and cook him a meal that I desperately hoped he would like.**

**I made him steak au poivre and pommes frites along with a nice salad. And for dessert I made a chocolate mousse. **

**Pouring him a glass of wine I put the finishing touches on the table settings. **

**Stepping to the doorway and wringing my hands I called out to him.**

**I jumped when he suddenly appeared before me and wondered if he had been lurking about the whole time. **

**Moving aside I ushered him to his seat and then took mine. **

**Bowing my head I prayed that he would not criticize me and my cooking.**

"**Everything looked wonderful" he said as he picked up his fork and began to eat.**

**Chewing a bite he reached across the table took my hand in his. Swallowing he said "It is delicious. Where did you learn to cook so well?"**

**Breathing a sigh of relief I smiled at him and said "My Mother taught me and this was one of my Father's favorite meals." **

**Then looking away from him I thought of how badly I missed them and a tear slipped from the corner of my eye.**

**Sensing my change in mood he asked "What is wrong Lesta?"**

**Picking up my napkin I wiped the tear away and turned back to him.**

"**I was just thinking of my parents and how I miss them." **

**Smiling at him I said "I wonder what they would think of you. If they would be able to see what a kind and wonderful man you are."**

**Chuckling he said "If I had a daughter as lovely as you and a beast like me would approach her I would have him locked in a deep dark dungeon never to see the light of day again."**

**Squeezing his hand I said "Then I guess it's lucky that you're not my father."**

**Becoming serious he said "Can you ever forgive me for forcing you to live in my dungeon?"**

"**There's nothing to forgive, Erik. Now eat before it becomes cold."**

**Finishing our dinner I told him I had made dessert. **

**Taking our plates I went into the kitchen and took the mousse from the icebox.**

**Sitting it on the table I picked up a dish and served him and then took a helping for myself.**

**Taking a taste he said "You're going to spoil me if I am not careful."**

**Smiling at him I said "Let me spoil you. Let me prove myself to you. Let me show you that my Mother's lessons weren't in vain. I can be a good wife to you Erik."**

**Looking at me strangely he said "You are a good wife to me."**

"**No Erik I haven't been. I've been horrid too you and I want to change that."**

**Shaking his head Erik continued to look at me strangely. **

**Becoming uncomfortable with the way he was looking at me I picked up my spoon and dipped my head as I ate my dessert.**

**Clearing the table I told Erik that I would join him shortly if he wished to retire to the living room.**


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter 63:**

**Entering the kitchen I began to shake and wondered why he had looked at me so strangely. **

**Had I done something wrong?**

**Going to the sink I rolled up my sleeves and began to wash the dishes.**

**Moving my hands about in the water I felt something cut me.**

**Lifting my hand from the water I saw blood dripping and remember the knives.**

**Holding my injured hand against my chest I started to laugh.**

**How could I have been so stupid?**

**What would Erik think of me? I can't even do a menial thing as the dishes without hurting myself.**

**Looking down I saw I was now covered in my own blood.**

**The next thing I remembered was Erik knelling beside me.**

**Looking up at him I held out my hand and started to laugh.**

**I laughed so hard my sides began to hurt and then there nothing but blackness.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Looking around I realized I was in my bed.**

**I wondered if it had been a dream. But when I lifted my hand and saw that it was bandaged.**

**I knew better. **

**Erik must have brought me here and changed my clothes after caring for my hand.**

**But where was he now?**

**Should I call out for him? Or had he been so disgusted with me that he wouldn't want anything to do with me? **

**Sitting there thinking I thought I could hear Erik talking to someone.**

**Slipping from the bed I picked up my robe and tiptoed to the door. Opening it a bit wider I peeked out and saw Nadir sitting there and Erik pacing the floor.**

**I crouched down and listened.**

**Erik: "What am I to do Daroga? I want to protect her. But how can I if I am the one that has caused her madness?"**

**Nadir: "Are you sure that she has gone mad. Maybe she is just trying to change. Maybe she just wants to try to make up for the pain you have both been through."**

**Erik: "You did not see her! She was cover in blood and her laughter chilled my very soul. It was as if she… I know the time has come for me to be stronger than I have ever been before. Oh god Daroga, I do not want to give her up. But I must. For her safety and sanity I must…"**

**Jumping to my feet I ran down the stepped and screamed "NO!!!" **

**Throwing myself at Erik I clung to him and begged "Please, please don't make me go. I don't want to go."**

**Tears streaked my face and clouded my vision.**

**Wrapping his arms around me and caressing my back Erik said softly "Calm your self Lesta. I only wish to do what is right. I see now that what I have done to you is wrong and I want to make it right."**

**Pulling away from him, I looked up into his eyes and saw that he was crying also. **

**I was doing my best to try and understand what was happening. **

**I was trying to figure out what I had done to anger him so badly that he wanted to be rid of me.**

**Stepping back from him I whispered "Why? What have I done to make you hate me?"**

**Turning I looked at Nadir.**

**Maybe he would know what I done.**

**Maybe he was the reason Erik was acting this way. Had he not been the one to bring Erik those papers?**

**Attacking him I screamed "Why!!? Why do you want to take me from him? Can't you see this is where I belong?" **

**Pounding his chest and trying to claw his face I felt Erik trying to pull me from him. But I fought them both. Twisting and turning my body I lashed out at them both. "I won't go!!! You can't make me go…"**

**Finally collapsing to the floor, I curled myself into a ball and whimpered.**

**Knelling beside me Erik looked at Nadir and asked "Did she injure you?"**

**Shaken, Nadir wiped his face and said "I… I am not injured. I just never believed that she would snap like that. She took me by surprise."**

**Placing his hand on me gently Erik continued speaking to Nadir "Now do you see what I mean. This is my entire fault and I must find a way to make her well again."**

**Moving closer to him I whispered "Please don't send me away. I'll be good. Just don't make me leave."**

**Pulling me into his arms Erik lifted me from the floor and started to carry me up the stepped as he said over his shoulder "Make your self at home. I will be back down shortly."**

**Taking me to my room he sat on the bed and rocked me in his arms. Whispering in my ear he told me that all would be well.**

**Clinging to him I asked "Will you allow me to stay? I want to stay." **

**Brushing my hair from my face he looked into my eyes and said in a soft and gentle voice "Do not worry your self My Dearest I will not force you to leave. We will work our way through this together."**

**Wondering briefly what he was talking about I snuggled closer to him and rested my head against his shoulder.**

**Taking a deep breath he removed me from his lap and stood me on my feet. **

**Watching my face he said "I think it is time for you to get dressed. Don't you?"**

**Looking down I realized I was still wearing my nightdress and robe. **

**Blushing I nodded my head and said "Yes. Forgive me. I hope I didn't embarrass you in front of Monsieur Khan. I…I just became frightened with the way you were speaking."**

**Caressing the side of my face Erik said "I was not embarrassed. You only did what you thought was needed."**

**Stepping back from him I looked down at the floor and hoped that he was speaking the truth. That he was not angry with me for appearing dressed as I was.**

**Standing he tipped my face up to his and kissed me softly. Then stepping past me he went to the door and said "I will have your breakfast waiting for you once you're done changing."**

**Watching him pull the door shut behind him self I traced my fingers across my lips.**

**Smiling I went to the closet and took out a blue dress with lace sleeves that I knew he liked.**

**Taking care to make sure I looked my best I brushed my hair and applied a small amount of make-up so my skin would shimmer in the candle light.**

**Staring at my reflection in the mirror I vowed again to be and do what ever he asked of me. Then looking down at my hand I remembered what a failure I had been so far.**

**Forcing my tears away I stood and walked to the door.**

**Descending the stairs I held my head high as I smiled at Erik hoping that he approved of my choice of dress.**

**Coming to me he took my hand in his and said "You look beautiful."**

**Beaming up at him I said "Thank you."**

**As he led me to the couch I saw the way Nadir was watching me with apprehension and wondered why. Erik had told me that he was not angry with me for acting as I had. So what gave Nadir the right to look at me so?**

**Settling myself on the couch I wanted for Erik to speak.**

"**I hope you are feeling better Madam. You seemed so upset earlier." Nadir said as he retook his set.**

**Looking at him I wanted to scream and tell him to leave. That he was not wanted here. But then I reminded myself that he was Erik's friend and replied "I feel much better now that I understand that Erik does not wish for me to leave. You see Monsieur I was confused earlier and over reacted to what was said. I beg your forgiveness for my appearance earlier." **

**Smiling inwardly I hoped that Erik would be impressed by the way I was acting.**

"**That… That is good to hear Madam. I am relieved to know that you are better now."**

**Smiling at him I nodded my head and then turned my attention to Erik. **

**I noticed that he was watching me intently. Then clearing his throat he asked if I would like to eat now.**

**Smiling at him I said "I guess I should eat something."**

**Standing he said "I will bring you your tray then."**

**After he had left the room I turned back to Nadir and hissed "Why have you come here? I burned the divorce papers you brought him. Or has he already told you that?"**

**Not giving him a chance to answer I went on saying "I am his wife and I will not leave him. I know he needs me. And no matter what you say that will not change."**

**Hearing Erik returning I turned away from Nadir.**

**Sitting the tray across my lap he said "Eat."**

**Dipping my head I said "Thank you" and began to eat my breakfast.**


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter 64: **

**As I ate Erik and Nadir talked of politics and other things that really didn't interest me.**

**I was only hoping that Nadir would leave so I could be alone with Erik.**

**As soon as I finished Erik took the tray and sat it aside.**

**Then looking at me he said "Why don't you go to the library and read while I finish speaking with the Daroga." **

"**But Erik I want to remain here with you." I whined.**

"**Please Lesta do as I ask. And I will join you shortly." He said in a strained voice and I knew he was not pleased with me.**

**Bowing my head I stood and whispered "As you wish. Please forgive me I did not mean… I'll go now."**

**Turning to Nadir I said "It has been a pleasure seeing you again Monsieur."**

**Steeping towards me warily Nadir took my hand and kissed it saying "The pleasure has been mine."**

**Then smiling at Erik I turned and went up the steps.**

**Reaching the library I turned to close the door but when I heard Nadir speaking I hesitated. **

**Listening I heard him say: "I see what you mean old friend. I just do not know how to help you. And I am sorry for that. All I can do is pray to Allah and keep Laddie with me until she is well again."**

"**Thank you for that Daroga. At least I will know that Laddie is safe if she become even more unstable."**

**I knew they were talking about me but I did not understand what they meant by me being unstable. I was only trying to be and show Erik that I could be his wife. **

**Snapping from my thoughts I heard Erik say: "I do not want to have to send her away. But if she becomes worse I may have too."**

**Shaking I hugged myself and prayed that they would see that I was just fine. I did not want to be sent away.**

**Hearing Erik say "I must be checking on her soon, thank you again for caring for Laddie" I knew he would be coming up shortly. **

**Rushing across the room I grabbed a book from the shelf and tried to look like I was reading.**

**When he entered the room he looked at me with such sorrow in his eyes and my heart flipped in my chest. **

**Standing I let the book fall from my lap and saw that it was a copy of Shakespeare's Tragedies and almost laughed. (Hadn't our relationship been like a Shakespearean Tragedy? I mean there had been murder and a love triangle. And now he and Nadir thought I was mad. I don't think Shakespeare could have written our story though.) **

**Staring at him I started towards him but he stopped me by raising his hand and saying "We need to talk."**

"**What about Erik?" I said becoming nervous.**

"**Please Lesta, sit down." He said in soft yet commanding tone.**

**Returning to the chair I sat wringing my hands in my lap watching him pace the room.**

**Stopping in front of me he sighed before kneeling and taking my hands in his. Holding them he looked into my eyes and said "What have I done to you Lesta?"**

**Shaking my head I said "Nothing. You've done nothing to me Erik. Can't you see that I am finally learning that this is where I belong?" Slipping my hand from his I caressed the side of his head and watched him tip his head into my touch.**

**Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply. Then suddenly standing he said "Then why did you attack the Daroga? Don't you understand he is only trying to help?"**

**Covering my ears I cried "He was trying to convince you to send me away. Or is that what you want Erik? Do you want rid of me? Then kill me, because I do not wish to live without you." **

**I knew I was becoming a bit hysterical but I couldn't help it. He had become my life and without him I didn't want to live.**

**Standing I tried to bolt past him but he was too fast. Catching me he crushed me against his chest and roared "Stop this madness NOW!!!" **

**Trying to regain control of myself to stood trembling in his arms.**

**Looking up at him I saw that he had tears in his eyes and he began to murmur "Please Lesta. Please tell me how I can help you. Please tell me what I have done to you to cause this."**

**My mind was reeling and did not understand what he was talking about. **

**Moving my hands over his chest I said "I don't understand what you're talking about. I'm fine."**

**Snuggling against him I said "This is all I need."**

**Moving away from me he said "If only that were true. But we both know it isn't. I have damaged you and far worse than physically. I only wished I knew how to repair that damage."**

**Staring at him I whispered "You have not damaged me Erik. You have awakened me. You've made me see the truth."**

"**And what truth is that Lesta?" He said in a defeated tone.**

"**That my place is here with you Erik as your wife and your lover."**

**Moving closer to him I said "That's what you want. Isn't it?"**

**Taking my shoulders he said "Yes Lesta. That is what I want more than anything. But…but not like this. Not when I know what it is costing you."**

"**You're wrong Erik. It's costing me nothing that I don't want to give."**

"**Then tell me Lesta. Why did you attack the Daroga? You know he has been your friend and protector since I first brought you here."**

"**I attacked no one Erik."**

"**Yes you did Lesta. If I would not have been there you may have actually hurt him. As it was though he only received a few minor scrapes. But then again there's no telling what you could have done."**

**Covering my face I whispered "I don't remember doing anything to Monsieur Khan." Then lifting my eyes to his I cried "Why can't I remember?"**

**Wrapping me in his arms he whispered "That's why I believe you need help and should leave here to receive it."**


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter 65:**

**Pushing myself away from him I ran from the library as tears streaked my cheeks and clouded my vision.**

**Running to my room I slammed the door behind me and collapsed on the floor in tears. **

**Why was he saying those things to me?**

**I didn't remember doing what he had said I had done. But why would he lie to me?**

**Burying my face in my hands I sobbed.**

**What was happening too me?**

**I didn't want to leave here. I didn't want to leave him.**

**Why can't we just be happy? **

**Hearing my door open I looked up at him and whispered "Why???"**

**Knelling beside me he gathered me in his arms and carried me to the bed.**

**Laying me upon it he held me and caressed my hair and rocked me like a child.**

**Whispering in my ear he said "I will find a way to help. I will move heaven and earth to make you well again."**

**Slipping from his arms I turned my back to him and laid down. Turning my face into the pillow I silently cried.**

**Feeling the bed shift I thought he might be leaving me to rest alone. But then his arms wrapped around me and I was drawn back against his chest.**

**Moving my hair from the side of my face he kissed my cheek and said "Please don't cry Lesta. We will find our way through this."**

**Snuggling closer to him I allowed my eyes to drift shut.**

**Waking next to him I saw that he was asleep. Sliding from the bed I padded across the floor to the door and silently left the room.**

**Descending the stairs I looked about and saw an unlit candelabrum. Picking it up I went to the panel covering the room of mirrors. Tripping the lever I stepped back as it slid open.**

**Entering the room I walked to the tree and sat the candelabrum down and started lighting it.**

**Standing I watched the room spring to harmless life as the tiny flames were mirrored hundreds of times.**

**Walking around I looked at my reflection and tried to figure out what Erik and Nadir had been talking about.**

**To me I looked the same. **

**Deciding that maybe I was missing something I slipped my dress off and left it laying next to the candles.**

**Staring at myself, now clad only in my undergarments, I still didn't see any difference. Then sensing that I was no longer alone, I turned and saw Erik standing in the doorway watching me.**

**Lowering my head I said "It's not as it seems Erik. I'm not trying to hurt myself. I just come here sometimes to think."**

"**Come out of there now Lesta. You above all should know how dangerous this room can be."**

**Looking up at him I said "No."**

**He seemed almost shocked by my response and I smiled.**

"**No Erik I will not leave this room. I like it in here. I like watching the candlelight sparkle and reflect on the walls. I can almost pretend that…that… Oh well it doesn't matter anyway. But I am not leaving this room."**

**Staring at me he started to take a step forward. But as he did I took a step back and touched the tree.**

**I knew he would not venture farther for fear of what I would do.**

"**What are you waiting for Erik? Are you afraid? I know you fear this room. But I think it's one of your most glorious creations." I said I moved slowly towards him.**

**Then without thinking I ran forward and snatched his mask from his face and immediately retreated back to the tree.**

**Roaring "NO Lesta!!!" he covered his face with his hands, but not before I had the pleasure of seeing his face mirrored hundreds of times surrounding me.**

**Holding his mask before me I looked at it then at him. **

"**Came take it from me Erik" I taunted him.**

**Stepping back he started to turn but I stopped him with my words.**

"**If you leave this room I will pull the branch and climb the tree."**

**Standing frozen he said "You know I can stop you."**

"**Can you Erik? Can you really? I found your sketches and diagrams of this room and the other like it. And I learned quite a lot. I'm not stupid Erik! A wire here, a connection there and I made this room my own. So do you really believe you can stop me?" Reaching out I pressed a section of the tree and the panel slid shut trapping us in the room.**

**Watching me from behind his hands he hissed "What have you done?"**

**Laughing I said "I gotten my husband's undivided attention" but the tone of my voice was anything but happy. Actually it was very harsh and sarcastic. **

"**You've always had my attention!" He shot back.**

"**Have I Erik? I don't think so. I think I have always had to share you with her. And I'm tired of sharing! Lower your hands."**

"**No!"**

"**Fine… Then I guess I will have to make you." I said as I reached out.**

**But before I could make contact with the tree he had lunged at me and caught me around the waist.**

**Dragging me to the floor he landed on top of me. Holding me down he hissed "Is this what you want My Dear?"**

**Staring up at him and trying to catch my breath I whispered "I got you to show me your face. Now didn't I?"**

**Shoving himself away from me he growled and turned his back and buried his face against his knees as he sat on the floor.**

**Reaching out and touching his back, I moved to sit next to him.**

"**Why do you wish to torture me Lesta? You know how much I hate my face and yet you trap me in this room of mirrors." He said with despair. Then laughing humorlessly he said "A room I built with my own hands."**

"**I didn't do this to torture you Erik. I didn't want you to even know that I come here. But I can't let you take my sanctuary away from me. And don't lie to me Erik; I know that you want to destroy this place."**

"**Why shouldn't I destroy this hell?" He seethed. "For that matter why shouldn't I just be rid of you?" He snarled as he lifted his head far enough to glare at me.**

**Moving closer to him I rested my head on his shoulder and said "Is that what you really want Erik? Do you really want me gone?"**

"**No" he said as he turned and pulled me into his arms and I noticed that he was crying.**

**Wiping his tears away I kissed his cheek and said "Let me show you what I see when I look at you Erik."**

**Squeezing his eyes shut and bowing his head he whined "Please don't make me look. She made me look. Oh please Lesta don't do this to me."**

**Suddenly he seemed like a small child and my heart broke for him.**

**Removing myself from his arms I stood and went over to the tree. Pressing the panel I heard him sigh as the door slid open. And then in the next moment he launched himself at the opening and passed through it.**

**Standing there holding his mask I finally allowed the tears I had been holding back too fall.**


	66. Chapter 66

**Chapter 66: **

**I don't know how long I stood there. Days could have passed. But when I finally looked up I saw that the candles had burned themselves out.**

**I was still holding his mask in my hands and I brought it to my chest and cradled it there. What had I been thinking taking it from him here of all places? **

**Maybe they were right. Maybe I am insane. Maybe he would be better off without me.**

**Taking a deep shaky breath I knelt down and picked up my dress and slipped it on.**

**Finishing lacing it I picked up the mask and made my way from the room.**

**Stopping dead in my tracks I saw Erik sitting in his chair with his face in his hands.**

**He looked so old and tired but none the less dangerous. **

**A bolt of fear ran through me and I wanted to turn and flee. But I knew I had to face what I had done to him.**

**Stepping towards him I whispered "Can you ever forgive me?"**

**Lifting his head he looked at me and held his hand out.**

**Handing him the mask I watched as he placed it on his face and I wanted to scream.**

**Standing he walked away from me and headed to the kitchen.**

**Staring after him I didn't know if I should follow or not. I chose not.**

**Wondering over to the couch I half sank half fell onto it. Pulling my legs up I laid down and curled into a ball and fell asleep.**

**I hadn't realized how exhausted I was until I woke up to find that Erik had placed a blanket over me.**

**Sitting up I looked at him and whispered "Thank you."**

**Pointing at a tray on the table he said "Eat."**

"**I'm not hungry." I said wanting to try to explain the unexplainable to him.**

"**I said Eat!" he shouted and I jerked at the harshness of his voice.**

**Bowing my head I lifted the lid off the tray and picked up the plate. **

**Eating the bread and cheese I began to wonder if it would be the last meal I would ever eat here.**

**Finishing I sat the empty plate back on the tray.**

**Keeping my eyes downcast I waited for him to speak.**

**Minutes passed I began to become nervous. Worrying my hands in my lap I finally looked up at him.**

**His eyes looked like two stones set into his mask and I trembled at there coldness.**

**I opened my mouth to try and apologize again but before the words could make it from my lips his hand was wrapped around my throat.**

**Instinctively I tried to pull his fingers away but he was so much stronger than me.**

**Hissing in my ear he said "If you ever do anything like that again I will kill you." Then shoving me back against the cushions he removed his hand from my throat and stroked the side of my face. **

**Looking down at me he said "I know I promised to take the fear from your eyes. But Lesta what you did to me in that room was far worse than anything that has ever been done to me."**

**Reaching up I covered his hand with mine and said "I should not have done that to you. And I know I should not even ask you to forgive me. But please Erik…Please do not send me away."**

**Pulling his hand away from mine he stared down at me. Trembling he moved back to his chair and collapsed onto it. Dragging his fingers through his hair he let out a quivering sigh. **

**Leaning forward he said "I do care for you Lesta My Dear. But I do not know how much more of this madness I can take."**

"**Please Erik…"**

**Standing suddenly he said "For your own safety I believe it would be best if you go to your room now."**

**Staring at him I started to speak. But then he roared "I… said… GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!!!" **

**Jumping up I fled up the stepped to my room. **

**Stumbling the last few feet I fell through the doorway and laid there shaking.**


	67. Chapter 67

**Chapter 67:**

**Finally regaining control of my body I stood and went into the bathroom.**

**Staring at my reflection I wondered what had stopped Erik from strangling me.**

**Hell if someone had done to me what I had done to Erik I would not have hesitated to murder them.**

**Turning away from the mirror I ran a bath and soaked in it trying to ease my troubles away.**

**Once finished, I pulled my robe on and went back into my room. **

**I was not paying very much attention to my surroundings as I made my way to the vanity.**

**But when I looked at my image and saw that he was behind me I jumped and brought my hands up to my mouth to stifle my yelp.**

**Turning from me he started to leave the room.**

**Bolting to my feet I knocked the stool over and rushed towards him. **

**Grasping his hand I begged "Please don't leave."**

**Stopping he sighed and said in a quiet tone "I see that you fear me once again."**

**Shaking my head I cried "No Erik. I do not fear you. It is… You just startled me is all. I was not expecting you to come to me."**

**Looking over at me he said "Maybe it would be for the best if you did learn to fear me again."**

**Then turning he brought his free hand up to my throat and stroked it lightly with his fingertips. **

**I knew what he meant. But I could not bring myself to fear him.**

**Lifting the hand I held to my lips I brushed my lips across his knuckle and whispered "Punish me how ever you wish. But know that I do not fear you."**

**Jerking his hands away from me he took a step back and said "Are you so eager for me to injure you that you say such a thing to me."**

**Looking at him confused I whispered "Isn't that why you can in here?"**

**Shaking his head he said "No Lesta I did not come in here to 'punish' you. I came in here to see of your wellbeing. Maybe I should not have. But I needed to see with my own eyes that you were uninjured."**

**Stepping towards him I made to untie my robe but he stopped me.**

**Grabbing my shoulders he shouted as he shook me "Damn it woman don't you understand what I could have done to you!"**

**Placing my hands against his shirtfront I said "But you didn't."**

**Shaking he released me and walked across the room.**

**Stopping with his back to me he stared at the items lined up top of the-chest-of-drawers. **

**Reaching out he began to finger the trinkets and figurines.**

**Then moving his hand suddenly he swept them onto the floor and cried out "I could have killed you!" **

**Holding his hands up and looking at them he whispered "These hands could have killed you."**

**Falling to his knees he buried his face in his hands and wailed "You don't understand. I could have murdered you in my rage."**

**Running to him I knelt and touched his back and whispered "I know that Erik. I know that you could have killed me. But you didn't."**

**Slowly moving closer to him I pulled him into my arms and held him as he cried.**

**Caressing his hair I spoke softly and said "Please Erik, don't dwell on what could have happened. Just know that it didn't and that I am still here."**

**Pulling away from me he turned his back and could see him lifting his mask and wiping at his face.**

**Reaching passed him I picked up a handkerchief and shook it out to make sure no glass clung to it and handed it to him.**

**Muttering "Thank you" he took it and cleaned his face.**

**Lowering his mask and making sure it was in place he stood and looked down at me.**

**Realizing I was knelling in the shards of broken glass from the mess he had made he bent down and lifted me from the floor.**

**Carrying me into the bathroom he sat me upon the stood and began checking me for cuts.**

**Finding none he breathed a sigh of relief and said "For once you are unharmed."**


	68. Chapter 68

**Chapter 68:**

**I reached out and captured his hand and brought it to my lips and said "Thank you for taking such good care of me."**

**Turning his hand he caressed the side of my face. **

**Brushing my hair back he knelt down and brought his lips to mine and kissed me ever so gently.**

**Then he stood and walked out of the room.**

**Staring after him I ran my fingers over my lips and savored what he had just done.**

**Reentering my room I saw him sitting on the side of the bed and went to him.**

**Wrapping my arms around him I rested my chin on top of his head and he rested his forehead against my chest.**

**Leaning back but keeping his hands on my hips he said "If I asked you? Would you say yes or no?"**

"**If the question is what I hope it is. The answer is yes."**

**Slipping his hands to the front of my robe he untied the knot there.**

**Moving back from him I allowed the material to slide from my body.**

**Watching me he unbuttoned his shirt and quickly removed it.**

**Standing he undid his pants and kicked off his shoes.**

**Covering his hands with mine I sank to my knees and said "Let me help you."**

**Pulling his pants and underwear down I made quick work of the tasks.**

**Then looking at his naked form I grasps his manhood in my hand and whispered "I want to taste you."**

**Leaning forward I licked the top of his hardness and then took it into my mouth.**

**Hearing his gasps and moans I smiled around him and began to suckle him.**

**Working my way up and down his length I felt him bury him fingers in my hair but unlike before he did not push me away.**

**Panting faster he bent forward and grasps my shoulders and lifted me away from him.**

**Turning he laid me on the bed and began to run his hands over my body. **

**Parting my legs I silently begged him to touch my womanhood.**

**Knelling he moved my legs so they were laying across his shoulders and whispered "you have tasted me. Now it is my turn to taste you."**

**He parted my neither lips and brought his tongue to the seed of my desire,**

**Crying out at the sensation I drove my fingers into his hair and arched my back.**

**Flicking his tongue against me down there he caused me to shiver and moan in my passion.**

**Moving his tongue even faster he began to suckle on my bud causing me to climax with such force I screamed and cried out his name.**

**Climbing on top of me he brought his lips to mine and plunged his tongue into my mouth.**

**Tasting myself mingled with his flavor made me whimper.**

**Wrapping my legs around him I urged him to take me.**

**Driving his hardened manhood into me he grasped my hips and rode me.**

**Slamming our bodied together he moaned and said "Mine."**

**Taking a hold of his shoulders I answered "Yours."**

**Reaching our peak together we cried out in one voice and collapsed onto the bed. **

**Rolling off of me Erik pulled me into his arms and held me while we both tried to calm ourselves.**

**Snuggling against him I stroked his arm and kissed his chest.**

**Finding his voice he said "Thank you for not saying no."**

**Looking up at his face I noticed that he had removed his mask.**

**Reaching up slowly I touched his cheek and whispered "Thank you."**

**Covering my hand with his he closed his eyes.**

**Moving up I straddled his hips and took his face in my hands and kissed him.**

**Looking into his eyes I whispered "Mask or no mask you are my husband and my lover. And God help me I think I'm falling in love with you."**

**Grasping my upper arms he asked in a tight voice "What did you just say?"**

"**I said mask or no masks you are my husband and lover."**

**Squeezing my arms harder he cried "Not that…The other part. What was it?" **

**Wincing I said "You're hurting me Erik."**

**Pulling away from him I stood with my back to him and rubbed my arms.**

**Moving behind me he wrapped me in his arms and whispered urgently in my ear "I need you to say what you said again. Please Lesta tell me I was not imagining it."**

**Turning in his embrace I looked into his eyes and said "God help me but I think I'm falling in love with you." Looking away from him I went on to say "I know after what I have done to you there is probably no way that you could feel the same for me. But Erik, please believe me when I say I love you."**

**I had not noticed the tears streaking his face or how his breathing had changed.**

**But when he crushed me against his chest I realized he was shaking.**

**Trying to push away from him I found that I was trapped. His arms were like hardened steel and I could do nothing but remain as I was.**

**Then suddenly he released me and I almost fell but I caught myself by stepping forward.**

**Backing away from me he shook his head and said "This is not real. It can not be real." Turning and grabbing his clothes and mask he kept repeating "Not real." **

**Moving quickly he pulled on his pants and fled my room.**


	69. Chapter 69

**Chapter 69: **

**I stood there in shock and stared at the wall and wondered what I had done to make him react like that.**

**Turning I stepped toward the doorway and heard the panel to the tunnels open and then slide shut. **

**Realizing that he was leaving me I raised my fist into the air and screamed "NO!!!"**

**Spinning around I ran to the closet and pulled out a dress.**

**Dressing as quickly as I could, I flew down the steps and to the panel that he had exited through earlier.**

**Tripping the release I stepped back and stared into the darkness.**

**Taking a deep breath and squaring my shoulders I rushed forward into the maze.**

**Lifting the lantern higher (Thankfully I had remembered it at the last minute.) I looked around and tried to figure out what path he might have taken.**

**Calling out his name I was only answered by the echo of my own voice.**

**Traveling farther and following the twists and turns I saw the walls change from rock to brick. **

**Finding a narrow stairwell I slowly ascended it. Prayed that it was not a dead-end or a trap I reached the top.**

**Turning a corner I was faced with a wall and then the lantern went out.**

**Hanging my head I cried and then reaching out slammed my fist into the wood.**

**Suddenly I was laying on the floor in a hallway. Sitting up I looked about and realized I was in the opera house.**

**Pushing myself to my feet I turned and ran my hand over the wall.**

**Then hearing someone coming I froze not knowing what to do.**

**Should I run? Should I try to hide? Would this person be friend or foe?**

**But before I could react I heard someone say "Are you lost Mademoiselle?**

**Turning around I was facing a harsh looking woman dressed in black holding a cane.**

**Trembling I tried to control my fear and said "I do not know Madam? I was looking for my husband and suddenly I found myself here."**

**Chuckling, the woman stepped towards me and said "Let me help you then. Does this missing husband of yours have a name?"**

**Feeling relieved that this woman was being so kind I said "Erik."**

**Stopping in midstep the woman stared at me and said in a quiet but worried tone "What did say his name was?"**

**Thinking that she may have misheard me I said "Erik. My husband's name is Erik."**

**The woman suddenly became very nervous and looked around as if a ghost had just appeared. **

**Grabbing my arm she began to lead me through a maze of corridors to a room.**

**Closing the door behind us she turned and looked at me with such sadness in her eyes.**

**Motioning to a chair she said "Please child take a seat." Then sitting across from me she leaned towards me and said in a hushed tone "So he is not dead. Oh heaven help us." Then taking my left hand in hers she looked at the ring Erik had given me. **

**Pulling my hand from hers I said "What is wrong with you Madam? Can you help me or not?"**

**Shaking herself she stood and walked across the room as if examining it. Then turning she looked at me and said "Yes my dear I will help you. I can not let him harm anyone else."**

**Coming back over to me she looked at me and said "I should have seen it as soon as I laid eyes on you."**

**What should she have seen? Had I been marked in some way?**

"**You look so much like Christine. No wonder he took you,"**

**Becoming angry I hissed "I may look like her Madam. But I can assure you I am not her."**

**Stepping back from me shocked she whispered "What has he done to you child?"**

**Staring at her I said "It is not what he has done to me, but what I have done to him. Please Madam I must find him."**

**Tears had started run from my eyes and I began worry that this woman could not help me.**

**Standing I started to turn to leave, but she grabbed my arm and said "I do not know what he has done to twist your mind. But I will find a way to help you."**


	70. Chapter 70

**Chapter 70:**

**Standing there I thought: Why does everyone think I have gone mad?**

**I only want to find Erik and make things right. And now I fear if I do not get away from this woman she will led me farther away from him.**

**Jerking away from her I said "Madam he has not twisted my mind."**

"**But I am sure he has kept you against your will. You are just lucky that you found your way out."**

**Stepping back from her I shook my head and said "Maybe at first he kept me like that, but not now. Now I choose to stay with him. Please Madam allow me to leave this room so I might find him."**

**I was hoping that he had returned to our home and finding me gone had begun to search for me.**

**A knock on the door startled us both and the woman looked at me before going to open it.**

"**What is it now?" She asked in a harsh tone.**

**The person on the other side of the door informed her that the managers were wanting to speak with her at her earliest convenience.**

**Telling the person that she was busy at the moment she said "Tell them I will meet with them before evening rehearsals."**

**Closing the door she locked it and slipped the key into her pocket.**

"**Please sit down my dear I can see you are distraught."**

**Then crossing the room she poured two glassed of wine.**

**Handing me one she said "Drink, It will help calm you."**

**Sitting down she took a sip of hers before sitting it aside.**

**Looking at me she said "First we must get you out of here."**

**Out of here! But I did not want to leave here. If I left here how would Erik find me?**

**I wanted to plead with her. But I knew it was futile. The woman already believed I was insane.**

**Leaning back in my chair I stared at the wine and thought of how Erik had given me wine to relax me.**

**Sitting the untouched glass down, I said "Madam? I don't even know your name?"**

"**Giry, My name is Madam Giry."**

"**Madam Giry please you must listen to me. I am not Erik's prisoner I am his wife. And I want to return to him."**

"**If that is so then why did I find you up here looking as though you had just escaped him?"**

**Sighing I said "Erik and I had an argument (That was putting it mildly, but I didn't want to tell her what had really happened) and he left me. I was only trying to find him so I could tell him I was wrong and that I am sorry for it."**

"**Hush child calm yourself." Madam Giry said as she leaned forward and patted my hand. "I know this ordeal he has put you through has been hard on you. But I promise I will help you through this."**

**The clock on the mantle chimed and she looked up at it.**

**Shaking her head she said "I have to go now child but I will return shortly."**

**Springing to my feet I said "Please allow me to accompany you. I do not wish to be alone."**

**Looking at me with tenderness in her eyes she said "Alright, but you must stay close to me and not try to wonder off."**

**Nodding my head I thanked her and promised to stay near her.**

**But the whole time I was hoping that Erik would come and take me home.**

**I so desperately wanted to go home and I ached to be in Erik's arms.**


	71. Chapter 71

**Chapter 71:**

**Following Madam Giry I watched the shadows and empty hallways hoping to see Erik or even Laddie. But with each step I felt like a heavy weight was pressing down on me. **

**What if he didn't want me anymore?**

**What if he was happy that I was gone?**

**Would he find another to replace me?**

**As we neared the stage chaos formed around us and I was lost in it. If it had not been for Madam Giry taking my hand I think I would have been swept away.**

**The brightly colored decorations and the sound of the musicians surrounded me and I almost laughed thinking of our home and how lackluster it is. (Oh not to say we didn't have color in our home, but nothing so bright and gay as this.)**

**Pointing to a stool Madam Giry instructed me to sit.**

**Rapping her cane against the floor she called a group of girl to her. **

**Lining them up she had them start practicing there dancing.**

**I watched in awe as they jumped and twirled across the floor.**

**Looking around I saw a familiar face and my breath caught in my throat.**

**I should have known she would be here.**

**She had probably returned to her place as Diva.**

**Seeing Madam Giry, Christine approached us but stopped when her eyes fell upon me.**

**Staring at me she started to tremble.**

**Rushing over to her Madam Giry took her arm and lead her over towards me.**

**Standing I let her sit down.**

**Looking at me with fear in her eyes she whispered "I didn't tell. Honestly I didn't tell."**

**Patting her hand Madam Giry told one of the girls (I think her name was Meg.) to get Christine a glass of water.**

**Handing her the glass Madam Giry looked at me and said "I take it you have met before?"**

**Nodding my head I whispered "Yes. She came to our home some months back but has not returned since."**

"**Is this true Christine? Why would you go back after all that happened?" Then realizing where were and all the people around us Madam Giry straightened her posture and said "Practice is over. You may retire to your rooms if you wish."**

**Then looking at the two of us she said "Maybe we should continue this discussion in my quarters."**

**Taking Christine's hand she led us from the stage.**

**Clinging to Madam Giry's hand Christine look terrified.**

**Madam Giry was starting to act a bit nervous herself and I wondered why.**

**Leading us back to her quarters she kept looking around then stopped suddenly motioning for me to remain silent.**

**Breathing a sigh of relief when a stage hand passed us she took us the rest of the way her room.**

**Closing the door behind us she locked it and made her way to a chair on shaky legs.**

**Sinking down she looked at us and said "Please sit." Then looking at Christine she said "How could you go back there after all this time? Do you not remember what a nightmare it was?"**

**Covering her face Christine cried "I was not thinking Madam. It was when Raoul and I first returned here and before I knew what I was doing I was on my way there. I just seemed so natural. But I swear to you I will never go back there again."**

**Then jumping up she rushed to Madam Giry's side and sank to her knees burying her face in the woman's lap sobbing "Please do not tell anyone. He said he would kill them if anyone found out I had been there."**

**Petting Christine's hair Madam Giry said in a soothing tone "Hush child. Calm yourself my dear you know I will tell no one."**

**Looking up at her Christine hick-upped and whispered "Thank you, I know I can trust you."**

**Then looking at me Madam Giry said "Now to figure out what to do to help you." Then smiling she looked at Christine and said "Christine do you think that maybe you and Raoul can take this child in until we can find her home."**

**Before I could speak Erik's voice filled the room and it said "I think not Madam. De Chagny will never touch another thing that belongs to me. Do I make myself clear?"**

**Stammering and trying to control her shaking hands Madam Giry listened and nodded before saying "I…I can not let you hurt this poor girl Erik. Please just let her leave here with Christine."**

"**This girl as you put it is my wife and she will leave here with no one!" **

**Standing I looked around the room and whispered "Erik? Please tell me you have come to take me home? I really want to go home."**

**The whole time this was going on Christine had coward on the floor next to Madam Giry's leg with her hands over her mouth. She looked as though she wanted to disappear.**

**Standing Madam Giry took hold of my arm and pulled me to her saying "I can see how you've twisted this child mind to your will. I can not allow you to take her Erik."**

**The lights in the room flickered out and we were cast into darkness. Then just as suddenly the lights reignited and Erik stood in the middle of the room in all his glory.**

**Trying to pull away from Madam Giry I wanted to run to him and have him hold me in his arms. But something inside of me was crying out to be cautious. That I was in the middle of a war and it could become bloody if a wrong move was made.**

**Becoming still I watched as Erik glared at Madam Giry and she glared at him.**


	72. Chapter 72

**Chapter 72:**

**Tension had filled the room and fear began to grip my heart. I wanted so badly to go to him. **

**I needed to go him. **

**But the silence just grew. **

**Then the suddenly the silence was broken by a soft whisper. **

**And I could do nothing but stare as Christine spoke: **

**Pushing herself from the floor she said ****"Listen to her Madam, listen too both of them. I…I have been to there home. I have witnessed them together. He truly cares for her. It is not like it was with me. I know now that he and I were never truly meant to be. And I believe he knows that too. But with Madam Lesta he is different. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at her. I could tell by the way he touched her and the way she touched him. They are meant to be together. Let her go to him. Let him take her home."**

**Staring at her I was shocked by what she had said. But I knew in my heart that it was true. **

**Turning I looked from Madam Giry to Erik and held my breath.**

**Would they listen to her?**

**Had they even heard her?**

**Nearly snarling at one another neither of them moved. Actually the only difference was that Madam Giry had tightened her hold on my arm.**

**Shifting his gaze Erik looked at Christine and said "Lovely speech My Dear but I believe it fell on deaf ears." Then stepping forward he touched her face and whispered "I knew you would keep my secret."**

**Taking his hand from her face he looked at me and said "If you wish to remain here I will not stop you. Madam Giry will take good care of you. All I ask is that you stay within these walls so I may watch over you. I'm sure I can convince my managers to allow it."**

**Trembling I cried out "No Erik, don't leave me! I want to go back to our home. I want to prove to you that I am sorry for what I did."**

**Then I shoved Madam Giry away from me and ran to Erik throwing myself against him. Clinging to him I begged him to take me home.**

**Righting herself from where she had fallen against the chair Madam Giry looked at me and then up at Erik.**

**Smoothing her skirts she spoke "Is this true Erik? Have you finally found someone capable of being with you? Or is it that you have managed to refine your methods to the point you can actually control this poor things mind?"**

**Shaking his head he answered "I control no ones mind Madam. But then again I do believe I have damage hers."**

**Stepping back from him I looked up into his eyes and hissed "My mind has not been damaged Erik and I wish you would stop saying that it has been!" Then balling my hands into fists I pounded his chest and cried "Damn it Erik I love you and I want to be with you! Why can't you understand that?"**

**As I spoke I heard both Madam Giry and Christine gasp.**

**Grabbing my wrists Erik stopped me from hitting him and whispered "I think you've made my point. Your words and actions do not match My Dear."**

**Falling against him I sobbed "Then what must I do Erik? I want so badly to be with you. God Erik I ache so badly to be with you. Please oh please take me home!"**

**Touching my shoulder Madam Giry said "Hush child. I do not know what has happened between yourself and Erik but I can see that you are hurting."**

**Then looking up at Erik she said "At one time I think you thought of me as a friend. Let me be your friend now and help you with her."**

"**And what is it you plan to do with her?" Erik asked.**

"**To be honest I do not know at this point. But it might be helpful if I knew what she has been through."**

**Lifting me in his arms Erik carried me to Madam Giry's bed and place me upon in saying "Rest now Lesta. Madam Giry and I need too speak. But know I will not leave you."**

**Leaning against the pillows I watch as Erik turned to Christine and said "You may go now. But remember what I have said about keeping my secret and the consequences of breaking your promise."**

**Bowing her head she said "I will remember. I do not wish to see my family injured."**

**After closing and locking the door Madam Giry turned to Erik and said "You might as well start from the beginning."**

**Sighing, Erik sat down and began to tell her how I came to be with him: **

**About what had happened to my parents and what M. James had tried to do.**

**He told her about my pregnancy and miscarriage and how I had closed myself off to him and how he had understood and almost offered to divorce me.**

**He also told her how he had brutalized me first by placing me in that room of mirrors and then by sexually assaulting me. **

**He also explained how I had fled from him and then willing returned to him.**

**Hours passed and she hardly asked any questions choosing to listen to our sad tale in silence.**

**But when Erik told her of killing those men as I watched, she could take no more and told him to stop.**

**Bowing her head she seemed to be saying a silent prayer. Then lifting her head she looked at Erik and said "No wonder she is confused Erik. And you said that she has been with you for only two years? The poor dear has been through more in that short time than an average person lives in a lifetime."**

**Interrupting them I timidly said "May…May I say something?"**

**Both of them turned and looked at me.**

**Gaining confidence I said "He has not told you the worst of it Madam."**

"**And what is that My Dear? What other horrors has he visited upon you?"**

"**It is not what he has done Madam. But what I have done to him. I…I took his mask from him. We were in the room of mirrors and took his mask from him."**

"**Oh my dear" She said bringing her hand up to her throat and looking at Erik.**

"**It is not as you think. I am not horrified by his appearance any longer." I said. Then looking at Erik I whispered "I have already told you mask or no mask all I see is my husband…"**

"**Enough!!!" He shouted then turning back to Madam Giry he said "What she said is true. But I do not believe she was in her right mind at the time and I forgive her."**

**Staring at him I heard his word and leap from the bed. Throwing myself into his arms I said "Is true? Do you truly forgive me?"**

**Looking into my eyes he said "Yes Lesta it is true. I have told you before that I will forgive you anything."**


	73. Chapter 73

**Chapter 73:**

**Carrying me from Madam Giry's room Erik turned and went down a hallway leading to a flight of stairs.**

**Setting me on my feet he brushed the hair from my face and said in a soft voice "I know you are tired and wish to return to our home. But there is something I would like to show you first. It is something that I know you long for."**

**Before I could answer him he took my hand and began to lead me up the steps.**

**Looking about I began to fear that someone would see us and I knew how Erik valued his secrecy. **

**Clinging to his hand tighter I whispered "What if someone sees us? I do not wish for you to kill again because of me."**

**Stopping he turned and said "This is my house. And if someone should see us I can assure you that they would only believe that they had seen a ghost. But we must hurry none the less."**

**With that said he swept me into his arms and carried me the rest of the way up the steps to a door.**

**Looking down at me he captured my lips with his and turned the knob stepping through a doorway.**

**Parting his mouth from mine and setting me on my feet he said "Open your eyes and tell me what you see."**

**Opening my eyes my breath caught in my throat as I looked out and saw the sky and the rooftops of Paris.**

**Turning back to him I said "Oh Erik it is so beautiful. I never thought…"**

**Wiping the tears from my eyes he said "Sunrise is still an hour away but if you wish we can remain here to greet it."**

**Throwing my arms around him I cried and said "Truly? You would allow that after…"**

**Covering my lips with his fingertips he said "I have kept you in the shadows for far to long My Love. It is time for us both to step into the light together."**

**Guiding me across the rooftop he brought me to a spot and sat down.**

**Pulling me onto his lap he wrapped us both in his cape and said "You deserve to be in the light Lesta instead of in my world of darkness."**

**Twisting my head around I declared "I have learned to enjoy your world Erik. I no longer fear the dark as I once did. Even though I at times long for the light I would not trade your dark world for it."**

**Looking into my eyes he said "That is a lesson I should have never forced you to learn. I should have left you in the sun that day long ago, but after hearing what that creature had planned for you…I should have just killed them both and allowed you your freedom. I could have watched over you or had Nadir intervene for your good. But I had to be selfish. I had to have you and now that I do I never want to live without you by my side."**

**Reaching up I pulled his mouth to mine and kissed him and then whispered "I always want to be at your side."**

**Snuggling against his chest I watch the colors fill the horizon as the sun rose and greeted a new day.**

**As the sun's rays bathed my face I realized that it had been nearly two years since I had seen such a sight. And I allowed my tears flow down my cheeks at the beauty of what I was seeing.**

**Finally turning to look at Erik I saw he was also crying but he wasn't looking at the sky. He was looking at me. **

**Brushing my tears away he said in a chocked voice "You are meant to be in the sun Lesta."**

**Shaking my head I whined "What are you saying Erik? Are saying that you will not take me home? I thought you said that you wanted me."**

**Crushing me to his chest he said "I do want you Lesta. But I do not want to condemn you to a world of darkness any longer."**

**Pushing away from him I cried "I do not understand. What are you saying? Either you want me or you don't. What is it Erik? What is it..?"**

"**Yes Lesta I want you. I want you so badly that it hurts. But I also know that you deserve so much more than a life of darkness trapped with a monster."**

**Reaching out I touched his mask as said "You are no monster Erik. You are my husband and I love you. I don't care if I never see the sun again as long as I am with you."**

**Grasping my wrist he pulled my hand to his lips and kissed my palm. Then looking into my eyes he said "I will not deny you the sun Lesta. I watched you as it rose and saw the look in your eyes and on your face. You can not lie too me and say that you won't long for its rays. And knowing that I make this vow: I promise you Lesta I will find away for you to spend time in the sun. I will not keep you locked in darkness anymore."**

**Staring at him I whispered "Thank you for giving me back the sun."**

**Then turning I let the suns rays shine against my face as he held me in his arms.**


	74. Chapter 74

**Chapter 74:**

**Sitting with Erik in the sun light was something I had never dared to dream. But now here we were basking in the suns warmth and each others arms.**

**Snuggling closer to him I sighed "I will never forget this day."**

"**Nor will I Lesta. Nor will I." He said as he leaned forward to kiss me. **

**But we were interrupted.**

**The door opened and two girls come giggling onto the roof.**

**Pulling me into the shadows of a statue, Erik whispered in my ear to remain quiet.**

**Trembling I nodded my head as I listened to the girls laugh and talk. But what they said worried me:**

**First girl: "Did you see that lady with Madam Giry at last evenings practice?" **

**Second girl: "I know she looked so pail. Oh to have skin that perfect. She must never let the sun touch her face. I wonder who she is."**

**First girl: "What vexed me the most was the way that Madam de Chagny reacted when she saw her. I thought she was going to faint. And then what Madam Giry said about her going back after what had happened. What could she have been referring too? Where would Madam de Chagny have gone that would upset Madam Giry so? And what would it have to do with that woman?"**

**Second girl: "I wonder if it has something to do with the Opera Ghost? You know the stories. I heard some of the other girls saying that maybe that woman was a prisoner to him and had finally escaped. Her dress did look like it had dirt on it." **

**First: "But if that's true it means he is still here. And if he is angered it could endanger us all. No wonder Madam Giry ended practice early."**

**Second: "I wonder what he did to her. That poor woman, I bet he forced her to look at his face as he…"**

**By this time Erik and I were so tense and I wanted to step forward and tell those silly girls that they know nothing. I wanted to tell them that I was not his prisoner, but his wife. **

**But before I could do anything Erik covered my mouth and whispered in my ear that this had gone on long enough: And that if they wanted the Ghost, they have him.**

**Wondering what he meant by that I let him push me behind him. And remained quiet as I he spoke.**

"**So you wish to have me back do you?"**

**The girls cried out "Who is that? Who is there?"**

"**You silly creatures I have never left this place. I have always been here watching, listening. I know your secrets. I know your fears."**

"**Please…please Monsieur… Please don't hurt us. We meant no harm. We were…"**

"**I know what you were doing! And it will stop! That woman is no concern of yours! And you will inform the other Rats that if I hear another word spoken about her there will be consequences. Am I understood?"**

"**Yes…yes Monsieur Le Phantom. We will not speak of her again. Please don't hurt us." **

"**Now Go! But remember I will be listening."**

**The girls ran to the door the crying.**

**And then after we heard it close Erik stepped out and looked around making sure that we were once again alone.**

**Taking my hand in his he pulled me to him and whispered "It is safe now. Those venomous creatures are gone now."**

"**Oh Erik, what have I done? Now they know about you and it's all my fault. I should not have…"**

"**Hush Lesta, You have done nothing. It was inevitable that someone would discover that the ghost still walks. But too them that is what I am; a ghost and a monster."**

"**But Erik what will we do? What if those girls tell that they talked to you? Won't they come looking for you? For us..?"**

"**Do not worry yourself with such things Lesta. I have prepared for such an event."**

"**But those men Erik... They found there way to our home. I do not wish to have to watch you kill again. I can't…I just can't…"**

**Holding me tighter he said "Hush Lesta. Let us not think of these things now. Let us instead enjoy the sunlight and its warmth."**

**Clinging to him I realized that the warmth and the beauty of the day had been washed away by those girls and there gossip. Now the only thing I wanted was to go home. I wanted to return to the safety of our dark world.**

**Leaning back I looked up at him and whispered "Please Erik take me home."**

"**But I thought this is what you wanted Lesta. I thought you wanted a day in the sun."**

**Glancing away from him and at the sky I said "Yes Erik it was what I wanted and I thank you for it. But now all I want is to go home. Please take me home."**

**Sighing, I heard Erik muter something about the possibility of making those girls pay as he led me around the roof.**

**Pressing on a brick Erik opened a small panel and moving some stones caused the floor to open revealing a set of stairs. **

**Descending the stairwell I realized we were in the walls of the Opera house.**

**I could hear people talking and laughing.**

**But the snatches of conversations I was hearing I found disturbing. They were talking about me and the phantom.**

**I wanted to stop and listen but Erik just kept pulling me along.**

**Finally entering the labyrinth I started calm down knowing that we were truly going home.**


	75. Chapter 75

**I would like to add a bit of an authors note here if I may. **

**I am considering not posting this story here any longer. It has been a labor of both love and hate. And I will regret not adding it to the list wonderful stories posted on this site. **

**But since is seems that no one can take the time to review it there isn't much since in posting it here. **

**I don't mean to come off sounding like a itch. But a little feed back from time to time would be nice. **

**Anyway the choice is yours. Do I keep posting or not.**

**BCO**

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**I know this chapter isn't much. But with the compications of life, yada yada yada.**

**Please let me know what you think though...**

**>> > > > > **

**Chapter 75: **

**Noticing my fatigue Erik picked me up and carried me the rest of the way home.**

**I knew he was tired also and I had tried to protest but he would have none of it.**

**Being home had never felt so good and I sighed as he held me to his chest.**

**Taking me to my room he sat me on the bed and got me a nightdress. **

**I knew it was morning but in our world that did not matter. We could pretend that it was midnight if we wished.**

**Helping me change Erik whispered how happy he was to have me back where I belonged. And how worried he had been when he had returned here to find me gone. **

**How he had believed that I had fled from him never to return.**

**I promised him that I would always be here. That I never wanted to be anywhere else but at his side or in his arms.**

**Removing his shirt and his shoes he turned back the bedcovers and we climbed in together. **

**Holding me in his arms he stroked my back as I rested my head against his chest contented that I was where I was meant to be.**

**As I awoke in his arms I smiled and wondered how long we had slept. **

**But as I began to sit up he tightened his arms around me.**

**Looking up into his unmasked face I saw that he was awake and staring at me.**

"**Did you truly mean what you said? If you did not… I can not ask you to love a monster like me…"**

**Pulling myself up so I was looking directly into his eyes I said "Hush Erik… I meant every word I said. I do love you. I do want to be with you. There is no place that I would rather be than in your arms."**

**I watched a tear slip from the corner of his eye then his lips found mine as his hand tangled in my hair.**

**Holding me he whispered "You have no idea how happy you have made me Lesta. Even though I know it may only be fleeting I will cherish your words and you for as long as you will let me."**

**Caressing his cheek I said "I love you Erik with all that I am."**

**It was in that moment that I realized I did not remember ever hearing Erik tell me that he loved me.**

**Moving away from him I swung my feet over the side of the bed. **

**Staring at the floor I said "It is alright Erik. I mean if you do not feel the same for me. I know the pain and heartbreak I have caused you and I…"**

**Before I could finish Erik grabbed me and press me back against the mattress. Straddling me he said "By all that is holy Lesta I do feel the same for you. I do love you. I have loved you since the first time I saw you selling your flowers in the street. I just never believed that you would ever love me as well."**

**Reaching up I pulled him down to me and kissed him with all the passion that I felt.**


	76. Chapter 76

**Chapter 75-A / Chapter 76**

**The following day Erik looked at me and said "I do not say this to upset you My Dearest Lesta. But I fear that if I do not speak your madness will only increase. And above all else your wellbeing is paramount to me."**

**Shaking my head I stood and crossed the room till I came to stand by the door to the room of mirrors. Then turning I looked at him and said "If you perceive my actions and words as madness then I guess I am mad. But know this Erik. I would rather feel and be like this than like the lonely fearful creature that you first carried in here. I have learned so much. Hell I have seen and experienced so much in my time with you that I know now that I can never be that girl again. Call it madness. Call it love. Call it what ever you like but please just don't try to make me stop loving you. Because My Dear Husband that is just not going to happen."**

**Reaching back I pressed the panel I knew would release the lock to the door.**

**Hearing it click open I turned and slipped into the room.**

**Moving to the tree I knelt by it and turned to see Erik standing in the doorway.**

"**Please Lesta come out of here. I do not want to relive the last time we were in this room." Erik plead, in a voice filled with pain.**

"**Nor do I, Erik. Nor do I… But I have something I need to show you. Something that belongs to you actually, I only fear that you will be angry when you see that I have it." **

**Turning back to the tree I opened a secret door and took out the designs to this room and also a book.**

**Upon seeing what I held Erik entered the room and tore it from my hands. "Where did you find this?" He asked angrily. "It was not meant for anyone but me! Please Lesta…Please tell me you did not read it." **

**He looked at me so sadly and imploringly that for the briefest of moments I thought about lying to him and saying no. But I wanted to be honest too him.**

**Taking a deep breath I looked up at him and whispered "I have read it Erik."**

**Looks of anger, rage and then fear went across his eyes and then he sank to his knees beside me. Bowing his head he whispered "So now I know. It was my own words that caused your madness. This was not meant to be read. It was meant to be buried as my past should have been buried so long ago. But I guess my ghosts shall haunt me always; the souls of all those that died at or become of my hands." **

**Then lifting his head said "You must try and understand. What I did then I had no choice in doing…"**

**Reaching out to him I touched his shoulder and said "Hush Erik. Yes I read your journal. And I do understand. You were a puppet then and an evil mistress ruled you. What else could you have done?"**

**Then pulling my hand from him I stood and crossed to the far wall. I knew that what I was preparing to say would possibly anger him. And I did not want to be within his reach. So steeling myself I said "I'm not going to apologize for reading your words. Nor am I judging you for what you did. But I do feel that I have the right to know the man I lay with at night. If that man is a murderous monster then I need to know. I saw the look in your eyes the day you saved me from those men. Are you a murderer, Erik? Or do you have a conscience that grieves for those lives you have taken?"**

**Pushing himself from the floor he stood frozen realizing that I had again led him into this room. And I could also see that he wondered what evil devises I had yet in store. But I could also see his anger rising at yet another accusation from me. Then turning to me he hissed "Why Lesta? Why do you question me so? I have told you repeatedly what I am. And repeatedly you have denied it. So tell me how am I to answer you now? Tell me what sick pleasure you gain by in one breath professing your love and then accusing me of being unworthy of that love?"**

**I could see as well as hear and feel his frustration, and knew that what I was doing to him yet again was tearing him apart. And then it came to me in a flash, the answer I sought was right in front of me.**

**He had not left me even though I knew his hatred for this room. Nor had he left me when I had taken his mask and forced him to face his own reflection. I also realized that he would, no matter what I did, remain beside me. **

**Covering my face with my hands I sank to the floor and cried for all the harm and pain I had caused him. **

**Feeling him wrap his arms around me I listened to his soft words of love and sorrow. And my heart broke even more. With tears spilling from my eyes I buried my face against his chest and listened to his heartbeat as I clung to him.**

**Finally calming myself I said "Thank you Erik. Thank you for all that you have done for me."**

**Then wiping my face on my sleeve I leaned back and took his face in my hands.**

**I felt him stiffen and knew he feared that I was going to take his mask again. But he did not move away from me. **

**Looking into his eyes I whispered "If anyone here is mad my darling, I think it is you. For a sane man would have been rid of me long ago. I can not fathom to guess why you stand my persistent cruelty Erik. I mean look where I have led you once again."**

**Sliding away from him I stood and looked at our image in the mirrors. **

**And then spotting the journal where he had dropped it. I went and picked it up. Holding it to my chest I turned to find him staring at me intently as he still knelt on the floor.**

"**Lesta" he said in a most soothing voice as he held his hand out to me. "Please Lesta give me the book so you need never look upon it again. It is such vile thing and you need not be tarnish by it any longer."**

**Stepping back from him, I shook my head and whispered "But Erik you're wrong, My Love. It is not vial and it will not tarnish me. It is who you were: A chapter in your life that you survived and that molded you into whom you are now. I can not give it back to you, for I know you mean to destroy it." **

**I continued to hug the journal to my breasts as fresh tears threatened to fall from my eyes.**

**As he rose from the floor to his full height I suddenly felt tiny and inadequate in his presence. But trying desperately to stave off my panic I stepped back from him farther and pressed my back against the tree. Then pleading with him to leave me I cringed inside at the sound of my own voice. **

"**Lesta, please do not return to fearing me yet again." He begged as he began to slowly approach me. "You should know by now that I would rather spend an eternity in hell than ever harm you." He continued. "And if you wish to keep that…that book then I will not take it from you. But please Lesta just look at me the way you did this morning." **

**I saw that he was beginning to cry in despair as I continued to tremble against the metal of the tree.**

**And then suddenly he was upon me pulling me into is arms and stroking my back while he whispered his love of me into my ear.**

**Shaking my head, I tried to pull away from him fearing that this was a trick. I knew how badly he wanted the book away from me. But I needed it. I needed to know him and this was the only way I had of doing that. Because I knew that he would never truly tell me the horrors of his past.**

**As his grasp on me tightened my need to be away from him grew. **

**Screaming I moved my hand up and to the edge of him mask ready to tear it from his face if he did not release me.**

**Letting me go, he covered my hand with his and pulled my fingers away from his face. Then dropping my hand he turned and walked from the chamber.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Carrying the journal with me I followed him and stopping just passed the doorway I watched him.**

**He walked toward his chair, but stopped and gripping the back of it he roared. Then picking up a heavy figurine from the table he sent it flying into the wall. **

**Prowling about the room he shoved over candle stands and shattered other items until he finally spun around and registered my presences.**

**Stepping towards me he held out his hands, but then just as quickly he dropped them back to his sides and shook his said saying "No… You don't want my tainted touch now do you, Lesta?"**

"**What I want Erik, is to know you. I feel that I have the right to know the man that holds my heart. This journal of yours, it tells part of your story. But not the sum total of it. You know my tale Erik. Now I want to know yours."**

**Walking to the couch, being careful to avoid the broken pieces of his tantrum, I seated myself and laid the book upon the now empty table. Folding my hands in my lap I waited with my head bowed for his answer.**

**The silence in the room was deafening and I looked up at him.**

**He had moved to stand next to the couch he eyes riveted to the book laying before me. **

**I could feel his hatred of it like a palpable wave filling the room.**

**Then he looked at me and his visage changed. **

**Sighing he shook his head and said: **

"**I was born a monster that not even a mother could love. Yet I survived. I think it was because she feared killing me and damning her soul. So I was locked away. Then one day she came to me telling me that I was to go. A band of Gypsies were traveling near and needed a freak. **

"**Traveling with them I was placed in a cage and beaten for the enjoyment of the crowds. That was also when I took my first life. And no Lesta I do not feel remorse or guilt for it. He was a depraved man that took pleasure in torturing me and others. I will not go into detail of the things he did for I know it would sicken you. But let me just say that his perversions were numerous.**

"**That was also how I came to be in Paris and also when I met Madam Giry. She was just a girl then and she took pity on me and hid me away. I was no more than a wild creature and this place became my home.**

"**Oh I was not uneducated for there were many books in my 'mother's' home and teaching myself to read I had devoured each and every volume. **

"**But as I grew into a man I became restless and longed to see the world I had only read about. So stealing away onboard a ship I did just that. **

"**As you have read I worked in many fields: I was a magician, a maker of mirrors, an architect, and an assassin.**

"**Then longing for solitude away from the bloodshed and gore I returned here. For you see I felt this to be my only true home. **

"**You also know the stories of my obsession for Christine so I will not revisit that tale. But if you wish I will retrieve the copy of 'Don Juan Triumphs' and you may add it to your collection of items that should have been destroyed."**

**The whole time he had spoken was as if he had been detached from the world and his words haunted me. But the last of them had been uttered with such hatred and venom I should have suspected what his next actions were to be. **

**But yet I was shocked when he suddenly turned and fled to his room as if my very presence brought him misery.**

**Lowering my head I said a silent prayer asking for peace to come to us so that now that his tale was told we might both be able to rest easier. I also prayed that those who had done him harm throughout his life be made to suffer in this life and the next.**

**With his book in my arms I mounted the stairs and stood before his door. **

**Entering without knocking I found him staring at the fire holding the red folder that was his masterpiece (Don Juan Triumph's). **

"**Erik." I whispered and he spun around with a look of fear and loss in his eyes, His shoulders slumped forward and he silently held out the folder to me. **

**I knew that he was trying to offer me what he thought I wanted even thought it was tearing him to pieces. **

**When I did not move he cried "Damn it Lesta, just take it. Take it as you have taken my heart. Do with it as you will. Lock it in that damned tree in that forsaken room you claim as your own."**

"**I don't want it, Erik. But I don't want either of them destroyed. They are both a part of you." **

**As I spoke I moved to stand near him and reaching out I took his offering. **

**After placing both books upon his desk I stood with my back facing him.**

**Bowing my head I said "I want to thank you for telling me what you have about your past. And I want for there to be no secrets between us, Erik. I can not live in silence any longer. And there has been far too much silence between us."**

**Turning to face him I held my arms out and whispered "I need you, Erik."**

**Staring at me he looked at his hands and said "My hands are covered in blood. And now that you know how can you say such a thing?"**

**Without a thought in my mind I crossed the room and took his hands in mine and held them to my breast and said "No Erik. My heart is in your hands."**

**Groaning he pulled his hands from mine and wrapped me in his arms and whispered "You know this madness. You should have run screaming from me long ago."**

"**I did Erik. I ran from you only to realize that what I was running from was my own heart. I was more afraid of myself and what you made me feel and it became twisted in silent darkness. But no more Erik..! Because if the silence returns. I will not be able to bear it." **

**Lifting me in his arms he carried me to his pallet and sat me upon it. Then seating himself beside me, he turned me so I was facing him.**

**Kissing my hands he placed them on his mask and closing his eyes he said "The choice is now yours Lesta, knowing all that you do. Can you still look upon my horrid flesh as my Mother never could?" **

"**Look at me Erik. I am not your Mother, nor am I Christine. **


	77. Chapter 77

**Chapter 77:**

**Laying here in his arms I could hardly believe so much time has passed.**

**Our lives…our life together had finally become as it should have been.**

**I was his loving wife and he my devoted husband. I had learned that there was nothing he would not do for me.**

**True to his word, he no longer denied me my time in the sun.**

**We had even gone to the park from time to time and sat on the grass and laughed and watched the child of others play.**

**But then at the same time my mind would wonder back to the child (the son) we had lost.**

**Laddie had even returned to live with us. **

**He was becoming a fine young man and I knew that all too soon he will want a life of his own.**

**Nadir is still our truest and dearest friend and I do not know what Erik or I would do without him.**

**Slipping from the bed I padded barefoot to the bathroom and began my morning ritual.**

**Smiling to myself I hoped that Erik would leave soon. I had plans for today that he could not be a part of. **

**I had already spoken to Nadir and even though he had told me that what I had planned was unwise. He had finally agreed to accompany me instead of seeing me strike out on my journey alone. **

**So kissing Erik Good Day I waited impatiently for Nadir to arrive.**

**Rushing through the tunnels we made our way to the streets and the hustle and bustle of the city. **

**Grasping Nadirs arm I realized how much I depended on Erik and his strength whenever he and I would leave our home.**

**I took a deep breath and nodded my head and we moved forward.**

**Upon returning we found Erik pacing the floor and when he saw us he had roared "Where have you been?"**

**Then sinking to his knees he said "You promised…I thought you had…"**

**I ran to him and fell to my knees saying "I did not break my promise Erik. I…we only went out for a short time. I needed to make a purchase and I did not wish…I wanted to surprise you."**

"**Surprise me? Oh it was a surprise coming home and finding you gone. What was so important that you could not allow me to accompany you? You know you only need ask and I will move heaven and earth for you."**

"**I know that Erik. You are the greatest Husband a woman could ever want. And I am blessed that you chose me."**

**Glancing over my shoulder at Nadir I mouthed the words "Thank you". **

**Bowing slightly he nodded his head and took his leave.**

**Turning my attention back too Erik I whispered "Do you know what tomorrow is?"**

**Looking into my eyes he said "Yes. I know that tomorrow marks the third year anniversary of my bringing you here…Of my raping you and claiming you as my bride."**

**Standing I walked to the wall and hung my cape on one of the hooks.**

**I hated it when he spoke like that.**

**Clearing my throat and squaring my shoulders I said "Yes tomorrow is our anniversary. Please do not speak of it so brutally. If you had not done as you did I would more than likely be a whore in some gutter begging for scraps and having strange men use my body for there pleasure."**

**Erik stood and crossed the room and wrapped me in his arms. "Please Lesta forgive me. I did not mean to upset you. How can I make amends and return the smile to those lovely lips of yours?"**

**Pushing away from him I went to the couch and flopped down on it. Kicking off my shoes I turned and leaned back against the cushions. Pulling my skirts up I gazed at Erik and said "Come be my devil and make love to me."**

**Crossing the room he fell to his knees beside me. Breathing hard he gasped "I will be your devil and your slave."**

**Reaching out he caressed my face and started to bring his lips to mine.**

**Lifting my hand I stopped him. Tracing my fingers along the side of his mask I said "Remove it. I want to see your face as you love me. I want to feel your skin upon mine."**

**Hesitating he whispered "Then allow us to retire to our room."**

**So pushing him away I sat up and said "If you can not remove your mask for me here in our home then I guess the smile will not return to my face."**

**Grasping my shoulders he looked around the room nervously. Then bowing his head he asked in a quiet voice "Why do you want so strongly to see such hideousness? Even I do not wish to have to view my own flesh. And yet you keep asking me to remove my mask. Why Lesta..? Why?"**

**Reaching out I gently took the mask from his face and sat it aside. **

**Caressing his forehead and cheeks then cupping his face in my hands I said "It is simple Erik. This is the face of my husband. The man I love with all that I am. So now do you see why I long to see your unmasked face."**

**Then smiling at him I said "I have something for you. I was going to wait and give it to you until tomorrow. But I think now is the perfect time."**

**I crossed the room quickly and retrieved a small box from the pocket of my cape and returned to where Erik now sat on the couch. **

**Kneeling before him I held up the box and whispered "I hope you like it."**

**Staring at me Erik smiled like a child on Christmas morning and took the box from my fingers. But when he saw what the box contained he began to cry.**

**I only hoped his tears were happy ones.**

"**Lesta…I never thought…I never dared hope or dream…Please…I want your hand to be the one to place it on my finger."**

"**With this ring Erik, I calm you as my husband and lover for all the world too see."**

**The gold band circled his finger perfectly and his hand trembled as he held it up to the light.**

"**This is where you went? Why I could not accompany you? Oh Lesta this is the best and most wonderful gift I have ever received."**

**Pulling me into his arms he buried his bare face in my hair and said "I did not think I could love you more. But I was wrong Lesta. My heart feels as though it will burst with the feeling."**

"**I love you too Erik. And I want the world to know it. I just wish we could have had a real wedding."**

**Erik stood and pulled me up with him swinging me in the air as he cried "Lesta my love if it is a wedding you want then a wedding you will have."**


	78. Chapter 78

**I just want to apologize for my long delay in posting. But I assure I have not abandoned this fic. It is just that I have had several personal issues that have kept me occupied. **

**Thank you for your patience.**

**BCO**

**Chapter 78:**

**Over the next few weeks I hardly saw Erik at all. **

**He left early in the mornings and did not return until late in the evenings. **

**His eyes sparked with delight and no matter how hard I begged he would only say "Be patient My Dear. Rome was not built in a day." **

**Madam Giry came to visit me and told me that the Opera house above was in chaos. That Erik (the Opera Ghost) had sent messages to his managers. That the orchestra was to learn a new piece and that if it was anything but perfect he would not be pleased. He also told them that he wanted certain sets built and costumes made. **

**She also told me that Erik had asked her to personally oversee the making of a certain dress and that soon she would be able to take me up to see it. **

**Then taking my hands into hers she said "I never in my wildest dreams ever believed that it was possible for Erik to find a woman equal to his love. And it makes my heart happy knowing that he will never be alone again."**

**Looking at her I said "I only hope that I can be that woman, Madam. I know that Erik and I have been together for three years now. And in that time we have been through so much. But I still worry that I will hurt him."**

**She looked at me quizzically so I said "You may not know this Madam. But Erik is not the villain that everyone has made him out to be. He is actually a very tender soul that the world has tried to twist. But if people could just look passed his mask, they would see that he has a heart full of love. And I have hurt him terribly in the past."**

**She pulled me into her arms and whispered into my ear "Then maybe this will be a fresh start for the both of you my child. So try to turn your eyes to the future."**

**Pulling away from her I nodded my head. But I knew in my heart that if I was not careful I could and would hurt him again.**

**That night when Erik came home I told him of her visit.**

**He agreed that our up coming nuptials would mark a turning point in our life together. And from that moment on we would know only happiness. **

**I so wanted to believe them both. But there was still a small voice inside of me that whispered for caution.**

**The day came for me to go with Madam Giry to see my dress and I was filled with excitement as Erik led me from our home.**

**But as we stood inside the passage waiting for Madam Giry I heard Christine's voice.**

**She was talking to a man and from the way Erik's arms tightened about me I deduced that this must be her husband. **

"**But Raoul" Christine whined "Isn't wonderful that 'he' has finally found someone."**

"**You mean entranced someone don't you My Dear. You know as well as I do no woman in her right mind would ever love him. He is a monster Christine. And if you still can not see that after what he did to us both…"**

**We could hear Christine start to cry and Raoul quickly said in a soothing voice "Hush now My Love. I should never have reminded you of that time. Forgive me."**

**Hiccupping Christine said "I should have told you. But he made me promise. Oh Raoul… I can lie to you no longer. I have met the woman he is to marry and…"**

**Interrupting her Raoul said "This is not the place we should discuss this Christine. Let us leave here now and you can tell me everything once we are safely home."**

"**If Christine is going to tell you anything Viscomte it will in my presence. Especially since it concerns the woman I am to wed." Erik said and his voice echoed through to corridor. **

**Raoul's voice was filled with both anger and fear as he answered. "Leave us alone Ghost. I am taking 'my wife' from this place. And you will not stop us."**

**Erik's laughter filled to air and kissing me quickly on the neck he turned and slipped from the passage we were in to another.**

**I remained where I was and listened as Erik told them that this was his domain and they would not be leaving without his consent.**

**Raoul tried to argue but in the end it was Christine who through her tears said "Please Raoul let us finish this once and for all. I will tell you everything as you wish. But I will do it here in my old dressing room." Then raising her voice slightly she said "Is that fair enough Angel?"**

"**Fair enough" Erik echoed and then he was at my side once again.**

**He led me to a mirror and whispered in my ear that this was where he once watched over and taught Christine.**

**I had no idea what to expect but I prayed none the less that the stories I had heard of their hatred for one another would not cost me my love or Christine her husband.**


	79. Chapter 79

****

**Thank you everyone for your wonderful comments and encouragement. **

**Chapter 79:**

**Christine and Raoul entered the room looking nervous and Erik tightened his grip on my hand.**

**Even though I knew they could not see us. I still wanted to cringe from the blonde haired man. Because when he turned and looked into the mirror I could see deep hatred in his blue eyes. **

**I even went so far as to try and pull Erik back into the passage whispering "Leave them Erik. I'm so afraid. I do not wish to lose you."**

**Tipping my head up, Erik purred that there was nothing to fear. And that that whelp would never be able to best him. And he also told me that this scene should have been ended long ago. But since it hadn't, it would end now.**

**I cried out and Erik quickly stepped between me and the mirror as Raoul struck the glass. **

**Frustrated that he had not broken its surface, Raoul roared "Damn you Phantom. I will not allow you to torment My Wife any longer. She has shed too many tears over you as it is."**

"**Please Raoul. He will come when he is ready. Do not add to his anger. You know what he is capable of when he is angry." Christine pled as she wrung her hands against the fabric of her skirts. **

**Going to her, Raoul guided her to a settee and gently pushed her down. Kneeling in front of her he took her hands in his and kissed them saying "It tears at my heart seeing you like this My Love. I should never have allowed you to return here. But you were so insistent. And I was led to believe that that creature was gone."**

**Through her tears Christine whined "I should never have lied to you Darling. But he said if I told you…If I told anyone, he would kill you and Conner. I could not risk that. I love you so much Raoul and the thought of losing you was so great."**

**To my horror I watched Erik trigger a switch causing the mirror to swing silently open. Then pulling me behind him we stepped into the room. **

**That was also when Erik hissed "Tell him how you came to know I still lived Christine. Tell him how you can to 'My' home. How you first met my 'wife'."**

**Christine looked terrified and cried out "Forgive me Angel." And Raoul stood suddenly spinning around to face his enemy saying "Let us end this madness..." But they both froze when they saw me standing there.**

**I wanted desperately to pull Erik back behind the mirror. To beg him to return to our home, but I knew in my heart that that wasn't to be. **

**So staring at Christine and Raoul I stepped forward and said "I agree. This madness needs to stop; Even though I only know bits and parts of the story that connects you three."**

**Recovering from his shock Raoul looked at me then turned and looked at his wife. But before he could speak I continued "Monsieur de Chaney you said that no woman could love Erik without being mad. But you are wrong."**

**Turning to face Erik I reached up and caressed the side of his face and said "I do love him." Then spinning back around I stared directly into Raoul's eyes and said clearly for all to hear "I am not mad; Even though that accusation has been made repeatedly. I can assure you I am quite sane."**

**Raoul started to step towards me. But Erik pulled me back against his chest and growled "Stay away from her de Chaney. She is mine."**

**Stopping Raoul shook his head and said in a low voice "But does she even know you, Phantom? Does she know that you have killed and maimed people for your own sick pleasure? That you enjoy twisting people to your will and using them as puppets in your sick productions."**

**I could hear no more of his hatred filled speak and cried out "Enough!"**

**Shocked, he quieted and looked at me with such sadness and pity that for an instant I though he was going to try and tear me from Erik's arms.**

**That is when we heard Christine whispering. She was muttering something about ropes and water and the chandelier crashing. **

**Then looking up at us she said "Let them be Raoul. I should have told you."**

**Her eyes found mine and she smiled half heartedly and said "I have no doubt that you love him, Lesta. But…but…" covering her face she started to cry again.**

**Pulling from Erik's arm I went to her and knelt by her side. Reaching out I touched her shoulder and whispered "You did well keeping our secret Christine. But now is the time for truth."**

**She sniffled and turned to me and whispered "But the Angel made me promise. And to break a promise to the Angel is to face his wrath. I don't want to bury my family again. I can not be alone…"**

"**Christine, Lesta is right. I release you from your promise to me." Erik said as he stood watching the two of us. **

**Yet I could see that he was ever aware of Raoul's presences. And ready to move given the least provocation. **

**Raoul turned back to Christine and knelt beside me as he whispered "You will never be alone again, My Love. That monster has no power than what you allow him to take from you. You know that."**

**Nodding her head Christine half heartedly agreed with Raoul.**

**I had not seen him move. Being so focused on Christine and waiting to comfort her. So when he pulled me to him I struggled slightly before realizing what had happened.**

**My moments fright did not go unnoticed by Raoul. And he looked up at us and said "So she is your prisoner, Phantom. That was just as I thought."**

**Slipping his hand over my mouth Erik said "What concern is it of yours Viscomte if she is my prisoner? Or I am hers?" The last of his words were spoken in a whisper I am sure only I heard.**

**Then he continued "I have left you and your lovely wife alone. Have I not? Or should I say I left you two alone until Christine deemed it necessary to pay me a call. Is that not so Christine?"**

**Whimpering Christine nodded her head and said "I told you, Angel, it was as if my feet had been guide by an unseen force to your home."**

"**That may or not have been the case Christine. But the point is. You sought me out and found that I was very much alive. So what would you have had me do? Should I have sent you running home to your Viscomte too tell him the ghost still walked? I think not! He would have brought an army to my door and I could not have that. I also could not allow then to take My Bride from me." **

"**So you admit it! You have kept this poor woman as your prisoner, Phantom." Raoul said as he stood and glared at Erik. **

**Christine grabbed his hand in hopes of holding his back as she feared he was going to attack.**

**And I pressed myself against Erik as I felt him tense at the perceived treat. **

**Then suddenly Erik laughed and I thought he had gone insane. But as I looked up at him he spoke asking "How does your neck feel these days Viscomte? Has it grown stronger over the years?"**

**Raoul paled and his free hand rose to his throat as he took an unconscious step back from us. Then catching himself he said "I am not the boy I was then. And I am not as easily tricked. So if you want a war, Phantom. Then that is what you will have."**

"**I want nothing from you de Chaney!" Erik spat. "What I want is for Lesta and me to be left alone. Is that so hard for someone like you to comprehend?"**

"**Oh Phantom I understand you better than you think. Remember it was me that you battled with for Christine."**

"**I remember very well de Chaney. And I still regret allowing you too escape. I should have rid myself of you then."**

"**But you didn't. And it seems you still haven't learned that you can't kidnap innocent women either!"**

**Both men were seething at each other and all Christine or I could do was to pray that neither of them made any sudden moves. **

**Then Eric surprised us all when he whispered "You're right de Chaney. But this time it worked. Ask her yourself. Ask her where she would rather be."**

**Raoul looked at my hand intertwined with Erik's and said in a gentle tone "Is any of what he said true? Are you his prisoner or his willing bride?"**

**All of what had been said was true. He had kidnapped me. But with reason: Yet how could I explain to this man, whom I am sure would call me a lair, that I loved Erik: That I did not want to exist without him in my life. **

**I also knew that as long as Erik was present the tension would continue to grow and sooner or later they would strike out at one another.**

**So turning and caressing the side of Erik's face I whispered "Please trust me. Take Christine and find Madam Giry. I will speak to Monsieur de Chaney alone. It is the only way to make him see…"**

**Gripping my arms almost painful he whispered back "I can not. He will trick you and make you believe things…"**

**Covering his lips with my fingertips I told him that I loved him and no one could or would ever change that. And also that if we wanted to live in peace. I alone had to face M. de Chaney. That it would be the only way to make him see that I was not under some spell.**

**With tears in his eyes he nodded his head and told me that if de Chaney harmed me in any way he would kill him.**

**I turned back to Raoul and said "I will speak you alone. Please allow Christine to go with Erik to Madam Giry's room."**

"**I will allow no such thing Mademoiselle! He is a monster! I will not allow him the chance to take her from me again!"**

"**Monsieur please, I beg of you. It is the only way. I promise you he will not harm her."**

**Standing, Christine touched Raoul's arm and said "I will go with him Darling. The Angel will not hurt me."**

"**But this could be a trick Christine. How do I know that he will not take you from me?"**

"**Because de Chaney I will be leaving my Heart with you. And if you harm her in anyway your life will be forfeit."**

**Looking from one to the other of us Raoul finally nodded his head. But said in tone laced with hate and loathing "But do not think for a moment, Phantom, that this means I trust you. But I am wise enough to know that if I am to hear the truth this will be the only way."**


	80. Chapter 80

Chapter 80:

**Chapter 80:**

**I watched them pass through the mirror and it slid shut behind them. **

**Touching the glass I said, "I know you are still there Erik. Do not worry I will be safe."**

**Erik's voice floated and filled the room as he said "Remember Viscomte if you hurt her. There will be no place for you to hide."**

"**The same goes for you Phantom. If this is a trick or you harm Christine in anyway I will tear the world apart to watch you die."**

**Erik's laughter filled the room and he said, "So be it!"**

**I knew after that that Erik had left taking Christine with him. **

**Turning to Raoul I said, "Please sit down. I will try to be brief. But still you might as well be comfortable."**

**He sat on the sofa that Christine had occupied and I began.**

**I told him how Erik had rescued me from my guardian and what would have happened to me if he had not. **

**Interrupting me Raoul said, "So you entered his world willingly?"**

**Shaking my head I answered honestly "No. It was not until later that I learned what he had done. Until then he was my capture. But let us move past that. Erik. For that is his name. He and I have come to an understanding about that time. And he knows that I am grateful for what he did."**

"**Grateful? You were kidnapped by a monster!" **

"**Yes Monsieur I am grateful!" I shouted as I clinched my fists trying to calm myself.**

**Then taking a deep breath I said, "If he had not taken me. I would have become a whore. Oh not by choice, but that is what they would have made me.**

**Now may I continue?"**

**Nodding his head he looked at me sadly.**

**Seating myself, I said, "Before you try again to convince me that he is a monster. Let me tell you that I know what he is. I have read his journals. He has told me more than once what he is." **

**Looking at my hands I whispered, "I have seen him kill."**

**Raoul came to his feet and grabbed me dragging me to my feet as he said, "You have witnessed his monstrosity! And you did not run from him?"**

**I pulled from his grasp and answered, "Yes I ran from him! I was terrified of him. But by then it was too late. He had already stolen my heart and so I returned to him."**

**Raoul shook his head and turned his back to me as though he were trying to figure out what to say next. **

"**I love him, Monsieur, just as Christine loves you."**

**Turning back to me Raoul said "I take it you have seen his face?"**

**I nodded.**

"**How can you love something so hideous?"**

"**He is my husband…"**

"**Husband..? But I thought…"**

"**It is confusing Monsieur. But the fact is Erik and I have been married for three years. It is just that we have never had a 'formal" ceremony."**

**Shaking his head Raoul stared at me. Then a light seemed to flash in his eyes and he asked, "I thought you said that you had 'not' come to him willingly. So how can it be that you are married? What priest in his right mind would have carried out such an atrocity?"**

"**There was no priest, only documents declaring us joined. And I can assure you they are quite legal and binding." Then laughing I said "He even offered me a divorce once. But I burned the papers." **

"**He offered you… Are you saying that he would have allowed you to leave him?"**

"**That is exactly what I am saying Monsieur. You might think him a monster or some devil born from the fires of hell. But if the truth be known, I have found him to be the most kind and caring gentleman I have ever known."**

**I watched as Raoul became frustrated at my repeated exaltations of Erik. And he began to pace the floor. **

**Then suddenly spinning around he said in a controlled voice, almost as if he were speaking to a child "I can not in good conscious allow you to be deceived by him any longer Mademoiselle. And before you argue with me that he is not the man I know him to be. I want you to know that I have listened to your words. And I have heard you admit that he has kept you a prisoner and forced you to watch him kill." **

**Lifting his hand to silence me when I started to argue against his assumptions, he went on to say, "He might have pretended to offer you your freedom Mademoiselle. But I am positive that if you would have tried to leave him he would have never allowed it." **

**I could feel myself becoming enraged at this man and his assumptions. And for the briefest of moments I wanted to do him harm. But I knew that that would gain Erik and me nothing. So taking a deep breath I responded saying, "You are wrong Raoul. I am not Erik's prisoner. And if you wish you may ask Madam Giry if she believes me a prisoner. For she was there the night that Erik tried to release me. No Monsieur. I am no ones prisoner. I am Erik's Wife and I will remain so until the day I die. So if you would please just believe me when I tell you that I am my own woman and I do love Erik. And there is nothing you can say or do to force me to change my feelings." **

**My tirade must have shocked him, because he suddenly became speechless. **

**Oh but when he did find his voice he stared at me sadly and said, "Erik, as you call him, has blinded you Mademoiselle. For you seem to be an intelligent woman, but I must reiterate to you that he is nothing more than a monster and a madman. So please. I beg of you, run now while you might. For I fear that he will in the end destroy you as he tried desperately to destroy Christine."**

**Seething with rage I strode across the room and slapped him across the face as I hissed, "If anyone is a madman Viscomte it is you. For you are the one so blinded by hatred and loathing that you cannot see anything beyond your own arrogance!"**

**Storming to the door, I yanked it open with such force that it slammed against the wall and rattled the pictures.**

**But before I could exit the room Raoul grabbed my arm and said, "I will not allow you to continue to be blinded by his tricks!"**

**Fearing that he would try and drag me from Erik against my will I lashed out at him. Dragging my fingernails down the side of his face I felt his grasp on me loosen. **


	81. Chapter 81

Chapter 81:

**Chapter 81:**

**Tears were coursing down my cheeks and I was shaking like a leaf when I finally made it too Madam Giry's chamber. But my only thought was to reach Erik and have him take me home.**

**Opening the door without knocking I was immediately pulled against Erik chest. **

"**What did that bastard do you Lesta?" Erik asked in a quiet voice laced with rage. **

"**Please Erik. Please just take me home. I want to go home." I plead as I tried to stop my tears.**

**But before I could convince Erik into action, the door opened a second time and Raoul stormed in. **

**Holding the side of his face where I had clawed him he looked at Christine and said in a voice filled with hatred, "Come Christine we are leaving here."**

**Rising to her feet Christine asked, "What has happened Raoul?"**

**Taking his hand from the side of his face he hissed, "That woman deserves to be with that madman. In fact I think they are well suited to one another."**

**Running to him, Christine cried, "Oh Raoul your poor beautiful face. Here let me get something to wash away the blood."**

"**What did you do?" Erik whispered in my ear sounding almost proud.**

**Ignoring him I stepped towards Raoul and said, "I am sorry Monsieur. I did not mean to injure you, but you should not have grabbed me so."**

"**He laid his hands on you?" Erik snarled as he took hold of my arm to turn me to face him.**

"**Please Erik just take me home. I will tell you everything that happened, but only once we are home."**

"**You will tell me now Lesta! For I will not let any man touch you and go unpunished."**

"**Please Erik…" But I knew that he was beyond my reasoning with him. So turning to Madam Giry I said, "Madam I think it would be best if you would take the Viscomte and Christine from here."**

**Nodding her head, Madam Giry whispered, "Christine, Raoul come with me and I will see that your wound is cared for." **

**But as they turned towards the door Erik snarled, "Yes Madam, take Christine and go. But the Viscomte stays!"**

"**Erik please… Just allow Raoul and Christine to leave here." Madam Giry said in an almost pleading tone.**

"**I will tell you again Madam. Take Christine and go. But the Viscomte stays here." Erik snarled as he glared at the object of his hatred.**

**Nodding my head at Madam Giry, I whispered, "Do as he says Madam."**

**Madam Giry placed her arm around Christine and bustled her out of the room.**

**As the door slipped closed I said a silent prayer and turned and placed my hand on Erik's chest. **

**Hoping to divert his attention from Raoul, I whispered, "Please Erik look at me. See with your own eyes that I am unharmed."**

"**I saw the tears you shed with my own eyes Lesta. And I also the saw the way your body trembled because of him. So tell me my darling is it your wish that I let his transgressions against you pass?" Erik said in a soft tone as he continued to glare at Raoul.**

"**Yes Erik. That is exactly what I am asking you to do." I said as I reached my hand up and touched his masked face.**

**Finally lowering his gaze to me, he shook his head and said, "I know I have promised you repeatedly that I would give you anything that you wished for. But my darling Lesta this is the one wish I can not grant."**

"**Why Erik...?" I cried. "Why can you not grant me this wish?"**

**Then before he could answer me, a thought entered my mind. And without thinking of the cruelty of my words I said, "Is it that your hatred for the Viscomte greater than your love for me?"**


	82. Chapter 82

Chapter 82:

**Chapter 82:**

**I heard Raoul gasp, but I ignored him. **

**Repeating my question I asked again, "Is your love for me so weak that you would choose hatred above it?"**

**Releasing my arm Erik turned away from me and I could see his shoulders trembling.**

**I did not know if he were crying or if he was attempting to control his rage at my accusation.**

**Chancing a look over my shoulder at Raoul, I could see the stunned expression on his face. And I knew in that moment that Christine would never speak to him the way I had spoken to Erik.**

**Turning my attention back to Erik I whispered, "Let us settle this once and for always."**

**Stepping closer to him I wrapped my arms around his waist and whispered softly, "I do love you Erik. But I must know your answer."**

**Reaching back he pulled me around his body and into his embrace. **

**Burying his face in my hair he cried, "You know the depth of my love for you Lesta. And if my actions have caused you to doubt that love then I am truly sorry. But if I allow Raoul to leave here unpunished for upsetting you, what guarantee do I have that he will not return and harm you worse?"**

**I reached up and stroked the side of Erik's head and asked, "Is the revenge you seek so passionately for me? Or is it for Christine?"**

**Clutching me more tightly against his chest he lifted his head and roared.**

**I knew without seeing the fear that Raoul must have felt, for I felt it too. But I also knew that if Erik did not release his rage against the Viscomte here and now our marriage was doomed.**

**With trembling arms Erik released me and turned toward Raoul. **

**That is when I saw how pale the Viscomte had become and that he had pressed himself against the wall. **

**Then within what seemed like the blink of an eye Erik stood before him. **

**Reaching out his hand he took hold of Raoul's chin and turned his head and examined the damage I had done.**

**Finding his voice, Raoul said with a false bravado, "Does her handy work meet with your approval Phantom?"**

**But I could see that he still feared for his life.**

"**Mind your tongue Viscomte." Erik hissed in warning. **

"**But if you must know, I believe you deserve each strip." He said in answer to Raoul's question.**

**Moving his hand to Raoul's throat Erik held him against the wall.**

**I became nervous and started to move towards them. But Erik stopped me by saying, "Please Lesta… Allow me to finish this."**

**I could hear the pleading timber in his voice. And I knew that with one word I could bring about the Viscomte's demise.**

**Taking a deep breath I told myself that there was no other choice. **

"**Kill him if you must Erik. But know that if you do I will know that our life together has been a lie. That every word you have spoken to me of love was false. So go ahead and take his life Erik. Take his life and claim Christine as your bride!"**

**Erik shoved Raoul violently to the floor and turned towards me.**

**Breathing through his nostrils like a mad beast Erik advanced on me as Raoul watched on fearfully.**

**Not moving I taunted him by saying, "Make your choice Erik. Will it be me or Christine in your arms this night?"**

**His fingertips dug into the flesh of my upper arms as he lifted me from the floor and snarled at me, "You dare to call my love for you false!"**

"**You're hurting me Erik." I said in a pained whisper.**

**He released me and I would have collapsed onto the floor if I had not caught hold of his arm. **

**Erik stepped back from me and said, "My intent was not to harm you Lesta. But for you to have said such a thing to me…To question my love for you…"**

**Falling to his knees he wrapped his arms about my waist and plead, "Can you ever forgive me? Please Lesta; tell me you forgive me for causing you to doubt my love."**

**Running my fingers though his hair I tipped his head up and looking into his eyes I said, "Yes Erik I forgive you. Now let us be away from here."**

**Turning his head he looked at Raoul and said to me, "But what of him? What guarantee do I have that he will not attempt to destroy our world?"**

**Reaching out I turned his face back to me and whispered, "I can not answer your questions Erik. All I know is that I love you and that we have much too discuss."**

"**I love you also Lesta. With all that I am. But I can not take you home knowing that at any moment he will shatter our happiness."**

**Clearing his throat and wiping tears from his eyes Raoul spoke, "If I had not seen it with my own eyes. I would never have believed that the mighty Phantom could be controlled by a woman."**

"**She is no ordinary woman Viscomte." Erik said as he rose to his feet. "Lesta is a goddess." Turning to me he caressed my cheek and whispered, "And I am your slave." Turning back to Raoul he went on. "I can not lose her. She is my life and my world and I will kill to keep her. I will also not allow her to be disrespected."**

**Rising to his feet also, Raoul said, "I meant no disrespect. I only meant that it is amazing that you of all men would grovel at a woman's feet. I have always believed you to be a heartless beast that truly needed no one. Now I see that I have been wrong about you."**

**Erik laughed and said, "I can not believe my ears: The oh so cocky Viscomte De Chaney admits that he is wrong."**

"**Yes Phantom, I admit it. I have been wrong about you. And I was also wrong about you also Madam. And I wish to apologize for not truly listening to you when you said that you and he are truly in love. Christine was right when she said that you two are meant to be together."**

**I moved to stand beside Erik as I said, "I accept your apology Monsieur." Slipping my hand into Erik's I asked, "Does this mean that you will leave us alone now?"**

**Raoul bowed his head in thought. Then lifting his head he stared straight at Erik and said, "I will always hate you Phantom. But since you have shown me that you have truly found someone who is not only capable of loving but also equal to you. I will allow you to live in peace. That is as long as you agree to leave me and Christine alone also."**

"**Agreed… Now go find your wife and leave here." Erik stated as he held my hand tightly and returned Raoul's glare.**


	83. Chapter 83

Chapter 83:

**Chapter 83:**

**I sank onto the sofa breathing a sigh of relief once we were back in our home.**

**Erik had left a note for Madam Giry telling her that my dress fitting would have to wait until another day. And that he believed it best that he should allow me to rest from my trying ordeal with the Viscomte. **

**I could see that even though we were safe in our home. Erik was still pensive. **

**He paced the floors.**

**Then coming to kneel in front of me he took my hands in his. **

**Looking in to my eyes he asked, "Do you truly question my love for you?"**

"**To be honest with you Erik… Yes I did."**

**He looked as though I had driven a dagger through his heart. **

**Yet before he could speak I said, "I know in my mind that you love me. But today… In my heart and in my soul I felt doubt. I was truly fearful that you would cast me aside in your blood lust to destroy the Viscomte."**

"**Oh Lesta, I did not mean to frighten you. Yet when I see his face or hear his voice… He came so near to taking everything from me…"**

"**He took Christine from you." I whispered as I looked away from him.**

"**Yes… he took Christine from and with her, a part of my heart." **

**It seemed as if he had forgotten I was even there as he spoke of how the Viscomte had driven him into hiding. And how he had been forced to watch as Christine had left him to marry Raoul. **

**He also spoke of how his heart had shattered and bleed at the loose of her. How she had been his shinning beacon through his dark world. And that once she was gone, he had not wanted to live.**

**Then he spoke of her beauty and her voice and how when she sang she could carry him to dream worlds and far off places.**

**I had sat with a heavy heart as he had spoken.**

**Then once he fell silent I rose from the sofa and ascended the steps.**

**Closing the door to 'our' bedroom I sank to the floor. **

**Sitting with my back pressed against the wood. I buried my face in my hands and cried.**

**I had always known that she was his first love. That if it had not been for Raoul intervening Erik and she would still be together.**

**But to hear the words from Erik's lips hurt me so badly.**

**Erik's knock upon the door stirred me from my misery and I stood up and crossed the room making sure my back was to him.**

"**Lesta...?" Erik called hesitantly as he entered the room.**

**I tried to pretend that nothing had happened; that his words had not affected me in the least. But it was no use. And my hands began to shake violently as I tried to unbutton my dress. So I tried to hide them in my skirts as I stared into the closet. As I hoped that he would not notice and question me.**

"**Please Lesta, do not hide from me. I am no fool. I know that my memories of Christine has caused you pain. But have you not on many occasions asked me to tell you of my past?"**

"**Yes Erik, I have." I said in soft and defeated tone.**

**Knowing that I needed to sit down, I quickly made my way to the couch.**

'**How was I to tell him that his words had cut me so deeply?'**

**Taking a deep breath I fought back my tears. Then looking up at him I said, "Tell me, Erik, what would you have done if I had not stayed your hand? Would you have killed Monsieur De Chaney? And if you had, would you have reclaimed Christine?"**

**He turned his back to me and remained silent for a time. And then turning back to me he said, "You do doubt my love for you."**

**I started to speak. But he silenced me by raising his hand.**

"**You should know by now Lesta, I love you with all that I am."**

**Coming to stand before me he cried, "I would not be alive today if it were not for you. I owe you my life. **

**You are wife and my bride."**

"**I have already told you, Erik. I know that you love me. What I ask is. If Christine were free, would you have me share you with her? Would you have me be a second Mother to her son? While the whole of time I would be forced to remember my dead son rotting in his grave!" I snarled as I glared unafraid into his eyes.**

**Erik stepped back as if I had slapped him and said in a voice laced with pain, "I would never ask that of you Lesta."**

**Turning his back to me he stormed across the room with his fists clinched. Then spinning around he growled at me, "How could even think such a thing?"**

**Standing I said, "By your own admission Erik. You yourself said that she was your light in the darkness. And that her voice and her beauty could make your soul soar."**

**Crossing the room to stand toe to toe with him I continued, "I do not sing."**

**Grapping my shoulders he pulled me to his chest and said, "But you do make my soul soar my darling Lesta."**

**Jerking myself from his grasp I turned and fled the room. **

**I needed time to think and to reconcile myself with what he had told me.**

**So descending the steps I went to my sanctuary.**

**This room had changed so much over my time with Erik. **

**Even to the point that I now had a small bed and book shelves. **

**But the mirrors still stood and I could see myself from every possible angle.**

**Striping off my dress I took down my journal and wrote in it what Erik had told me. **

**Then curling myself on my bed I went back over the events of the day.**

**I felt as though Erik had betrayed me. **

**I had faced the Viscomte and had shown him my love for Erik, only to have Erik regale me with his memories of his love for Christine.**

**Sighing I stood and returned my journal to its place next to Erik's journal and his copy of 'Don Juan Triumphs'.**

**Running my fingers through my hair I paced the room and told myself that I had nothing to fear. That Erik would never leave me for her. But still there was that small voice whispering that as long as Christine lived Erik would love her.**

**Growing frustrated I walked to the tree and ran my hand over its cold surface. Then reaching up I pulled the branch that used to awaken this chamber. But now it only activated a few of the lights. Yet it was enough to warm the room.**

**Going back to my bed I sat with my back resting against one of the many mirrors.**

**I remembered the day I had awoken here and how he had tried to convince me that I was her. **

**I also remembered how he had begged me to call him my angel, and how he had apologized for forcing me/her to leave him. **

**I damned myself for being a fool for letting him twist me and make me believe that I was his only love. But now I knew better. **

**Because for as long as Christine lived he would never truly love me and only me.**

**I knew he stood at entrance without having to open my eyes.**

"**Please Lesta come speak to me."**

"**Go away, Erik." **

"**No Lesta. I will not allow you to reawaken the silence."**

"**Then answer my question. If she were free, would you still want her?" **

"**I desire only you!"**

**A bitter laugh ripped from my throat and I said, "You brought me here because I looked like her. Hell, you even tried to make me believe that you thought I was her. And then today, the very day I was to be fitted for my wedding dress. You Erik would have killed her husband because of his taking her from you. So please answer my question!"**

**I waited for his answer with my eyes still closed and my back still resting against the wall. (To an outside observer I might have appeared to be the picture of serenity.) But in reality I was anything but serine. And minutes seemed drag by like hours.**

**Then finally he spoke. "I cannot deny that a part of me still dreams of hearing her voice once again singing my music, and also knowing that it was I that awakened her voice." I could sense his growing discomfort so when he cried, "Dam it Lesta do not make me say these things!" I was not surprised.**

"**Please Erik continue. I need to know. I need hear it for your lips what I know in my soul." I said in a voice laced with sadness.**

"**She was my student and my friend. My first love and 'Yes' Lesta if she came to me willingly and unfettered I would accept her back into my world." **

**I was not deaf to his anguish. But at the same time I wanted for him to suffer. I wanted him to feel and to taste the same torment I felt just a few hours ago when I realized that he was not mine alone.**

**Pushing myself from the bed I walked to the tree and extinguished the lights. And as I stood there with my back to him I said, "Leave me now Erik. I do not want to be near you. I do not want to image that it is her you are touching when it is my skin under your hand."**

"**Why Lesta…! I answered your question. I told you nothing but the truth."**

"**You should have lied to me, Erik. Ah but no. I would have known you were lying."**

**With the light now off a chill began to penetrate the room or was it the chill in my heart that penetrated me.**

**I had not realized that I have started to cry until Erik wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Can you ever forgive me? Tell me what penance I must serve to erase this new pain I have brought you?" **

**Without thinking I said the first words to come to my mind. "Kill her, Erik."**


	84. Chapter 84

Chapter 84:

**Chapter 84:**

"**Kill her, Erik. Kill her and prove to me that I am the only woman for you."**

**He released me as though my skin, nah my very presence burned him. **

"**You can not mean what you ask. Tell me you only say this to hurt me. 'Oh god Lesta have you truly gone mad?"**

**I began to scream and I covered my ears with my hands as I sank to the floor. And when I finally stopped screaming I saw that he was still there. Though he had pressed himself to the wall and was staring at me as if I were a madwoman.**

**Pushing myself to my feet I said in a raspy voice, "I have not gone mad Erik. If anything I believe I see things much more clearly now. And I have been a fool. The Viscomte was correct, I should leave you, but not for the reasons he stated. I should leave you for your own good. Then you would be free to pursue and recapture your truest hearts desire."**

"**No!" He roared. "Do not speak to me so! And do not use his name against me. You have been with me and have accepted… No Lesta. I beg you do not take your leave of me." **

**I saw that he was crying, but I could not go to him. **

**Not taking my eyes from him I walked towards the door. But as I neared it he reached out for me.**

"**Don't touch me Erik." I said in an icy tone.**

**His hand fell back to his side and he watched me leave the room. **

**Running up the stairs I entered our room and went to my closet. **

**Snatching a dress made of gray muslin from its hanger I made short work of putting it on. Then turning to the mirror I brushed my hair back and twisted it into a tight bun. **

"**Please Lesta." He said from the doorway.**

"**Let me go Erik. I need… Just let me go."**

"**Where will you go Lesta? You have told me repeatedly that there is no place for you up there." He said in a voice laced with desperation. **

"**I will go to Nadir, if he will have me. And from there I do not know."**

**A heart wrenching sob tore from his chest and he crossed the room in a few strides grabbing me and pulling me to his chest.**

"**Please Lesta do not leave me." He cried. "I will die without you."**

**Placing my hands to his chest I tried to push him away from me. But I knew it was futile. **

"**Listen to me Erik. I need for you to hear me." **

**He nodded his head and I said, "If you force me to remain here Erik, I will learn to hate you."**

**His body stiffened at my words and he cried, "But you promised me…You said that you love me, Lesta."**

"**That was before I knew that you do not truly love me, Erik."**

"**But I do love you, Lesta. You are my life and my heart…"**

"**No Erik! Someone else holds sway in your heart."**

**He sobbed again and continued to try and reason with me. But I would not be moved. I knew what I needed to do. **

**Then to my horror he fisted my hair in his hand and pulled my head back. Crushing his lips to mine he kissed me and growled, "You are my wife."**

**Sweeping me up into his arms, he carried me to the bed. **

**His hand snaked up under my dress and he tore my pantalets from me. Then forcing my skirts up around my waist he spread my legs and touched me.**

**He knew my body and how to make me his. And I could not deny that a part of me enjoyed what he did. **

**But when I awoke in his arms hours later, a coldness had formed in my heart and I did hate him.**

"**I knew that you would remain with me Lesta." He said in a husky tone as he stroked my hair.**

**I remained silent. **

"**I know that you are awake my Love."**

**I tried to pull away from him. But he tightened his hold on me. **

"**Please Lesta. Speak to me. Tell me that you might forgive me."**

"**I can not Erik." I whispered. "And I do not know if I ever can."**

**He held me tightly to his bare chest and said, "Then I will just have to prove to you that you are the only one in my heart."**

**All throughout the day he watched me carefully. **

**I knew he feared that if I were given the opportunity I would run from him.**

**So he watched me and attempted to pamper me. Bringing me my favorite book and making me my favorite things to eat, with Laddie's help of course.**

**But I remained silent not even thanking him for his kindness.**

**That night as we retired he locked our bedroom door for the first time ever.**

"**So I am to be your prisoner again? What next? Will you be chaining me to your bed also?" I said bitterly. **

**And to my surprise he growled, "If I must."**

"**Please Lesta, listen to me. Christine means nothing to me now. You… You are the only woman I love."**

**Laying the brush I had been using aside I sighed and looking at him through the mirror I said, "I thought so too, Erik. But I was deceived."**

**Pushing myself up from the stool I made my way to the bed and that night Erik did nothing but hold me.**

**The following morning Madam Giry, thinking that she was doing me a kindness, brought my wedding gown for me to see and try on.**

**But I barely even glanced at it as I stated that there would be no wedding. **

**To say that she was shocked was an understatement.**

"**What has happened, my dear? You seemed so happy and excited only a matter of days ago." She questioned worriedly.**

"**It seems Madam that my husband is in love with another." I stated as I glared past her to where Erik stood.**

"**Another?" she questioned. **

"**Yes Madam, another, it seems that his heart still belongs to his first love. And I will not be made to participate in a mock wedding to a man that does not love me." I said in a voice laced with pain.**

**Then standing I fled up the steps.**

**Slamming the library door behind me I sank to my knees.**

**Oh how I had loved him. He had been my life and my world. But no more! I would never allow him to betray me again. **

**When I finally pushed myself to my feet and opened the door I found Erik standing there.**

"**Madam Giry has agreed to inform my managers to carryout your wishes. There will be no wedding." He stated flatly.**

**But still he did not move.**

"**I am tired Erik. My I have your permission to go lay down." I asked sarcastically.**

**He followed me to our room and entered behind me. And I heard the lock click into place.**

**Kicking my shoes off I began to struggle out of my dress. But he was there to assist me and pulled it over my head.**

**Stepping away from him I asked, "Is it your plan to molest me now?"**

**A look of horror entered his eyes and he turned from me saying, "I thought you enjoyed my touch."**

**I stopped myself from saying that it was true, that I did indeed enjoy his touch. But instead I tore the ribbon from my hair and climbed onto the bed. **

**I waited for him to join me and I was not disappointed when he pulled me into his embrace. **

**Love him or hate him I still belonged to him in the eyes of the law. **

**One day became much like the next with Erik trying to please me, and my heart growing icier as I repeated to myself, that he loved her and not me.**

**Then when I looked up at the calendar I noticed that a month had passed.**


	85. Chapter 85

**I hope that you are still reading… I know that the delay has been a long on. But life keeps getting in my way. **

**Let me know what you think.**

**And to all that reviewed the last chapter… THANK YOU ****AND**** ~HUGGLES~**

**Chapter 85:**

**Erik sat at his silent organ and stared at the keys. He had not played a single note since our return that fitful day. **

**Actually our home had become a den of silence. For I had nothing to say to him and he had quickly realized that no matter how he pled with me, I would not grant him my forgiveness.**

**I crossed the room slowly. And when I was mere feet from where he sat he turned suddenly and looked at me hopefully.**

"**Please Erik, allow me to leave." I said softly.**

"**No!" He responded as he rose to his feet. **

"**We were happy Lesta. And we can be happy again. If only you would allow me to be your loving husband again."**

**Turning away from him I started to recross the room when he grabbed me from behind and pulled me to his chest. **

"**Please Lesta. Your silence is killing me."**

"**Let me go, Erik." Was all I said.**

**As he released me I bolted and ran for the exit of our home. But he was faster than I was and he easily caught me.**

**Screaming and panting I begged him to let me go. I told him that I would never find it in my heart to love him again if he kept me here.**

**He swung me up into his arms and carried me to our room. **

**Dropping me on the bed he turned and locked the door. **

**I could feel his rage radiating off of him as he paced the room. And I curled myself into a ball with my back pressed against the headboard.**

"**This is madness!" He roared. "You are my wife and I love only you, damn-it. There is no other I want. Only you… "**

**Crossing the room he grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me as if I was a rag doll. **

"**Why Lesta…? Why can you not see that I love you? What must I do to convince you that there is no one else? Must I tear my heart from my chest so that you might see that your name alone is the only one written there?"**

**Then releasing me he staggered back a few steps and crashed to him knees. Ripping his mask from his face he sobbed and buried his mangled flesh in his hands.**

**I laid where I had fallen watching him. I could not force my limbs to move even though a small part of me wanted to comfort him.**

**But instead I said, "You are my husband Erik. And I hate you. I will never allow you to deceive me again. For no matter what you say I know it to be lies."**

"**I am not lying when I say that I love you, Lesta." He cried. "You are my life and my only reason for being."**

**Pushing myself up, I turned and looked at the door.**

"**I am nothing more than your prisoner, Erik. And every time I hear this door lock it reminds me of that fact."**

**I felt the bed shift slightly and then his arms encircled me. **

"**I fear that if I do not confine you my Darling, you will take flight from me as you did just moments ago." He whispered in my ear.**

**The feel of his hot breath on my neck caused me to tremble and I knew if I did not move away from him, I would succumb to him. **

**But when I attempted to move from him he tightened his hold on me. **

"**P…please, Erik." I stammered as his lips brushed the back of my neck. And I realized that I wasn't sure what I was begging for anymore. It had been so long since the last time he had touched me and my body craved his.**

**Pushing at his arms I cried, "Please let me go. I…I…" Suddenly I could not breathe. And I started to struggle against him desperately.**

**When I awoke Erik was leaning over me whispering words of comfort and love. **

**He was telling me that he would always be at my side to watch over me.**

**Rolling on my side away from him I noticed that he had removed my dress. **

**I am sure that in his mind he was only wanting to make me more comfortable, but for me it was upsetting.**

"**Why, Erik? Why do you force me to remain here even knowing that it is killing me?" I asked softly trying to keep the tears from spilling from my eyes.**

"**I love you, Lesta." He said as an answer as he stroked my hair.**

**Rolling over I looked up at him. I could see the pain I was causing him in his eyes. **

**Reaching up I took his mask from his face and laid it aside. Then caressing his cheek I watch him lean into my touch. **

"**Please Erik let me go. I promise to go only as far as Nadir's home. I need time away from you to think. Then maybe I will be able to…" I could not say the word I knew he longed to hear. **

**Tears streaked his cheeks as he turned from me. **

**Then taking a deep breath he said, "I fear that if I allow you to go you not return. I know that you hate me. And your words and actions tear my heart asunder."**

**Turning back to me he pulled me up to his chest and cried.**

**Then releasing me he stood and crossed the room. **

**Opening my closet he pulled out an assortment of dresses. Then turning to my dresser he took out my undergarments and stockings. **

**The silence in the room was deafening and when he turned the key in the lock the sound echoed.**

**Returning with a trunk he placed my clothing in it and turned to me sadly. **

"**If it is your truest wish to leave me, I will not stand in your way any longer. But if you will grant me one request before you go I will be forever grateful."**

**Staring at him I asked, "What would you have me do to gain my freedom Erik?"**

"**I only ask that you spend this day with me as my wife. And when morning breaks I will personally escort you to Nadir's door." He answered with a pleading edge to his voice.**

**I closed my eyes and bowed my head. I knew exactly what he was asking me to do. But I was not sure I that I could do it. Yet I was afraid that if I told he no. He might change his mind and I would never leave this place.**

**So taking a deep breath I opened me eyes and that is when I saw his mask still laying on the bed where I had placed it. **

**Snapping my head up, I looked at him and realized that he was standing before me bare. **

**Climbing off the bed I took a step towards him and said, "I am not much of an actress, Erik. But I will attempt to be the wife you wish me to be, at least for this day."**

**He opened his arms and I stepped into his embrace. But I had to force myself to relax. **

"**I have missed you my darling wife and I will show you that I can be your loving husband." **

**He tipped my face up and kissed my lips ever so softly and I began to cry.**

**Holding me to his chest he whispered that no matter what, he would always love me and that if he could he would lay the world at my feet. **

**I clung to him as I sobbed out my heartache and pain. But I knew that I would still leave him come morning. **

**Finally drying my eyes I realized that I was laying in his arms on the bed and I immediately moved away from him. **

**Shaking my head I climbed from the bed and fled from the room. **

**I collapsed at the base of the stairs and curled myself into a ball on the floor. **

**He descended the steps and knelt beside me.**

**Looking up at him I whispered that I was sorry and that if he gave a moment I would try again to grant him his request.**

**He brushed my hair from my face and said, "I should never have asked you to pretend to… I will not hinder you any further today. Take what you like. I will have no need of anything once you are gone."**

**I caught his hand with mine and cried, "Please do not speak so."**

"**How should I speak when I know that my heart will be leaving me, Lesta? Would you rather that I pretend to be happy that come tomorrow I will return to darkness?" He hissed at me as he tried to pull his hand from mine.**

**But I clung to it and said, "You know as well as I that if I stay we will forever be damned to be in silence."**

**He grabbed my shoulder and snarled, "Why? Are we not speaking now? Why do you insist upon leaving me? What have I done that it is so horrid that you can not forgive me?"**

**I released his hand and lowered my eyes to the floor. **

"**You betrayed me Erik. And I need time to move past that. Please just allow me one month."**

"**And at the end of that month. What then Lesta? Will you tell me then that you hate me and never wish to see me horrid face again? Or dare I even hope that you will return to me and be my wife and my bride?" **

**I did not look at him as I whispered, "I will make you no promises Erik. For I cannot see into the future, but know that at the end of one month's time I will answer you one way or another."**

**He stood and pulled me to my feet and held me as he promised to abide by my wishes and that come the morning he would see me safely to Nadir's door.**

**Releasing me Erik turned and called Laddie out from where he had been hidden in the alcove.**

"**I will need you to take a message to Monsieur Khan asking him to allow my wife safe haven in his home."**

**Laddie wiped the tears from his cheeks and nodded his head before turning away to gather the parchment and quill and ink for Erik. **

**The pain and sadness I saw in Laddie's eyes almost made me change my mind. But I knew that if I did not leave this place now, I would never leave.**

**Erik brought me my robe. And his hands lingered at my shoulders as he assisted my too put it on. **

**I knew that he wanted to hold me, but I stepped away from him and made my way to my sanctuary. **

**After I had gathered together my books and other items I wished to take with me I turned to find Erik staring at me from the doorway.**

**Before I could speak he bowed his head and said that he would bring me a case to carry my possessions.**

**After I had finished gathering up what I wish to take with me. I went to our room and dressed.**

**Coming back down the steps I noticed that Erik was no where in sight and wondered where he might have gone off too.**

**Then dismissing the thought I put on my cape and took out a lantern. There was one last thing I wished to do before leaving this place. **


End file.
